The Way We Are
Author's Notes: Takes place after story jump. The small details don't really matter for this story. Sasuke left before the story jump, years pass, he comes back. Now they’re old enough to drink, smoke, and do all that nasty stuff. Naruto is property of Kishimoto, not me.
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It was suggested that she picked up the bad habits of her sensei, though arguably she would have been a workaholic anyway. The drinking, however, had to have come from Tsunade. No one knows where the smoking came from. It might've just been next in line after workaholism and alcoholism. And still more rumors say she started smoking and drinking to make up for a lost love...
The Sakura I spotted after I returned was not the one I knew from before I left. Cute, clean, selfless. That's not what I see at all now... Now... Well, let me tell you about the first time I saw her since I returned.
There were discussions concerning my status as a citizen of Konoha. I was in a complicated situation, so naturally it was going to take them a while to decide what to do with me. Oddly enough, for the time being they let me hang around the village with virtually no restrictions. Naturally, one of the first places I decided to waste time was the local bar.
I spotted her at a bar during peak hours. She held a rum and coke in her right hand while a cigarette hung loosely between her index and middle finger. She was with a man I didn't know. I watched her put her drink down, pick it back up, lifting and lowering her cigarette all while talking and smiling to this man, juggling the three with ease. She leaned over, whispered something into his ears. Within minutes, they left the bar and there I was stunned.
Tsunade was a believer of true love so I imagine Sakura's serial dating couldn't have been picked up from her sensei. I heard during the period of my absence she had tried dating Naruto and Sai. Naruto could only be her most intimate friend and nothing more. And Sai... Well, from what I hear no one really knows about Sakura and Sai's relationship. They dated for a while, but what they did as a couple was kept secret. After that she began binge dating. Every so and so nights she would be with a new man. Food, alcohol, cigarettes, and the very telling stop at his or her apartment. Sometimes even a no-tell hotel. I also heard Tsunade would have a vague look of disdain whenever she would see new faces, and the occasional old face back for a short fling. But her looks remained vague because there was nothing Tsunade could do about it. Sakura was a grown woman capable of taking care of herself. If Sakura wanted to live her life as a spinster, it was her choice. At the very least Tsunade took comfort in the fact that her star pupil was not interested in multitasking with more than one man. It at least seemed like Sakura was trying to find the right ONE, but was having a hard time zeroing in on him.
I saw her again at the same bar sitting in the same spot, this time alone.
She wore a black halter dress that was above her knees. Her short pink hair was held back in a pony tail. The tie holding the dress up fell noticeably down the center of her pale exposed back. A few men came and went without luck. There was an easiness to the way she dismissed men she wasn't interested in. She wasn't sweet about it the way I would expect her to be. She was indifferent in the cruelest way. I have to admit I was intrigued.
"Is this seat taken?" I asked as I approached her from behind.
There was a moment's deliberation before she replied "Not right now."
I took a seat next to her and ordered us a pair of drinks. From the corner of my eye I could she her lean her head against her palm looking at me, examining me clearly aware, but somehow disinterested, that I was going to hit on her.
"I knew you, at one point, Sasuke." she said bringing us back to a slightly uncomfortable past "I would even say I knew you well."
"That was a long time ago, wasn't it?" I replied.
"Yes, it was a long time ago. I couldn't say I know you very well now."
"You would be surprised how much hasn't changed."
"Really? I'm not sure if that's supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing for me."
Easy as that. She dodged my swing toward a pleasant let's-catch-up conversation leaving me nothing but an awkward silence although she wasn't bothered by it one bit.
"Actually, I'm not sure either..."
An hour had passed with the both of us sipping at our drinks (she went for a second round), mostly in silence. I had taken my cue early on that my attempt with Sakura had failed, but something in her disinterest kept me lingering. She never actually told me to leave.
"Uchiha Sasuke... As cool as you were and probably still are, you really don't have a way of talking to women." she said while slowly twirling the ice in her glass "Your work is cut out with you because we already know each other and actually I'm feeling pretty good right now (alcohol can do that to you sometimes)."
She stood up to put on her coat. She turned toward the door and said "If you want to come please follow." She turned slightly to look back at me over her shoulder, her eyes smiling as she walked away.
I didn't have anything in mind when I approached Sakura. I followed her anyway without thinking about it very much. It didn't feel like I was following her as an old friend, to tell the truth.
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I watched the back of Sakura's hair bounce up and down as she rode me reverse cowgirl. Although utterly pleasing for me, who need only lay back while enjoying the backside view, the pleasure was all Sakura's. She did the most physical work, but she had full control. I could lightly rest my hands on her bouncing hips or reach up to grab her breasts, but she pounded me with as much or as little speed as she wanted and she preferred to pound me hard all the same. Despite her selfish approach to orgasm, I still enjoyed her immensely. The warmth of her body surrounding me shot pleasurable sensations through my crotch. And while the sex she had nothing to do with me personally, I wanted more. I sat up from my laying position to hold her from behind. My hands found her welcoming breasts, erect with excitement. Licking the skin behind her sweat salted neck, I could feel her tense around me. Her back arching and fingers rapidly messaging her clitoris, she moaned out in pleasure, hardly caring that there may be neighbors next door. A few seconds later, I followed her, shooting a spurt of pearly white into the reservoir tip of a for-her-pleasure condom.
Sakura carefully held down the condom as she slowly slid off my dick. I headed to the bathroom in her room to wipe off the sweat. When I returned I found her already asleep.
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The next morning Sakura turned to me and stated frankly that she was only interested in sex because it's all we as human are capable of engaging in. If this is the kind of relationship I can agree to, I can stay. If not I should leave. Hazy and a little befuddled by such as request, I agreed without even thinking about it. Right then Sakura called out of work and requested two weeks off. It was easily approved because her supervisors, especially Tsunade herself, were eager to give their workaholic friend a break.
Sakura shacked us up in her apartment, black out curtains perpetually closed so that we hardly ever saw the light of day. The sex was wild, I have to admit. Sakura liked it raunchy. She demanded that every part of her body be pleasured in every which way and in turn she would do the same to me. She gave me free range to explore her. There was not a spot on her body that I hadn't felt or licked. She wanted anything that made her feel good and nothing less. My god, she was demanding.
In that time we never really spoke to each other at length. When she said she wasn't interested in a relationship she wasn't lying. We in fact spoke so little and had so much sex that it seemed to me we were more like two animals who mated when when our instincts said to.
What a sad state modern dating had come to.
While she hardly seemed to notice me when we weren't fucking, the truth was I always had my eyes on her. I notice every curve of her body, every move she makes, every breath of air she takes. There's something in the way she lets her cigarette hang between her fingers that I can't stop watching. She had a careless grip, it seemed, but I knew she was in complete control.
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We were sitting in her living room. She wore a plain white undershirt, boy shorts, and knee high socks to highlight the length of her legs. I was watched the way she slowly pulled her cigarette to her mouth to take another drag, leaning her head back as she blows out a seductive puff of smoke. She sank deeper into a lazy slouch that pulled her legs forward, one leg propped itself over the other. Sakura was almost laying down at this point, her eyes closing as if she were falling asleep. It seems she knows quite well how she draws my attention, but I can't tell if she deliberately carries herself in a way that is always physically inviting or if it's natural or if it's both.
"Why don't you come sit in front of me?" she suggested without moving from her slouched position. I followed her instructions, leaning against the back of the couch in front of her. She sat still for a few moments before placing her cigarette between her moistened lips. I watched her lips lightly grip around the sides as she took another puff.
Sakura placed her cigarette on the ashtray and reached for the drink she had been sipping for a while now. It's been a few cups and this one had just been refilled.
God her room was messy. While the furniture separated the space into a living area, office area, and eating area, the entire space was an explosion of office papers, books, cigarette trays, and empty bottles of rum, vodka, and a variety of other alcoholic beverages. Littered here and there were instant food containers and empty take out boxes. Here and there were condom wrappers. Not all of them were mine.
"Sakura I-"
I stopped mid-sentence as soon as I realized she had already fell into a deep sleep from the alcohol. Figuring she should get into bed, I nudged her to see if she would get there herself. She raised her head slightly to look at me, though her eyes were too heavy for her to open. Sakura tried to reach for the entire bottle of vodka. She was able to hold it to her lips, but she spilled the entire bottle instead of drinking. Her drink spilled all over her. I was waiting for her to react, but for some reason she didn't care. Instead she put her head down again, ready to sleep the spill off.
I sighed and sat down next to her wondering how to judge if someone has a problem.
"Sasuke." she said. "Help me."
I looked back at her. With her eyes still closed she tugged on her shirt which was soaked.
"A bath." she said.
Sakura's body was completely relaxed as I carried her into the shower. Tossing her clothing and mine into the hamper, I let the water in the tub run and I set her against the side of the side of the tub in the wash area to clean or off first. Unfortunately Sakura refused to even try to hold herself. My only option was to sit down and hold her in my lap while I wash and rinse her. Something shifted as I sat there, scrubbing away the alcohol on Sakura’s body. I felt like I was being trusted to take care of her while she couldn’t take care of herself. It was strange. She felt so vulnerable then.
F0llowing rinsing her off, I picked her up and sat in the tub with her in my lap again. Sakura sighed happily as she sank into me, her back rubbing against my front side. Looking down at her, her curves were glistening from the steam of the bathroom. Of course I was getting aroused. I shifted to adjust my piece in its stiff state. Sakura’s head leaned into my shoulder.
Sighing again she said “Not right now, Sasuke. I feel really good right now. Being like this.”
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Alcohol is a bizarre experience. The first drink is always repulsive. The physical reaction of gagging and watery eyes are clear signals that the body is rejecting something. I hide it, of course, especially in front of a veteran drinker like Sakura. But once I get passed the unsettling tingling in my skin and lack of control of my body, the delirium of it all is exciting. I know no consequences. I can do anything and at the time it wouldn't matter.
I looked over to Sakura who was really giving in to the call of her liquor. She wore a a thin black slip. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun that was somewhat restrained by a black headband tie. She took a swig of her bottle of rum, followed by her chaser. Bottle still in hand, she leaned back against the couch. Her smile widening as the effects of alcohol creeped about her body. She was only tipsy, but happy nonetheless.
She turned her head to look at me.
"Sassssukeee!" she pouted playfully. "Drink up! Drink up!"
She straddled my lap. Pushing my head back against the couch, she leaned over to kiss me. Pulling away she smiled and brought the bottle of rum to my mouth and began to pour.
"We need to even out our alcohol breaths."
I took a deep breath to control my gag reflex. After 20 minutes of drinking my muscles were really relaxed. I could feel the same smile creep up my lips. "I don't think I'll ever catch up with you, lady." I clutched her by the jaw and brought her mouth to mine "Let me try another way to even things out." I kissed her with as much force as there was hunger for her body. My mouth trailed down to the base of her neck while my hands pushed the straps of her slip dress over her shoulders. The slip fell down to her waist, exposing her bare breasts. I learned forward to say hello. I suckled her nipple, licked around the contours of the breast themselves, nipped with my teeth that lovely under area that feels so good to cup. I focused again on the nipple, hardened by the wet of my saliva meeting the cool air of the room. After flickering the bud a little, I bit it. At first just a little, then slightly harder until I received a favorable reaction from her. She was delicious. I would consumer her. All of her.
My hands were suddenly on the move. Her warm skin was attracting my hands not only to her lovely breasts, but also to somewhere as mundane as where her neck meets her shoulders. They traveled everywhere, driven by a crazed appetite for flesh. I was driven by the idea that she was there with me and only me and that I could have her in any which way that I liked. So I took her.
In display of my physical strength I easily lifted her up, pulled her slipped down from around her waist and carried her back into her room. Laying her on the bed, I removed my clothing. I kissed her greedily once more before moving towards her lovely underwear.
Sakura, I found, had a taste for lingerie. She had extravagant ensembles in all sorts of colors and materials. Sakura seemed to enjoy simple and useful pieces like the underwear she wore now: plain black chiffon, vaguely see through, provides easy access. Tie-side underwear really is a wonderful thing. Removing them required only a pull of the ribbon and down they go if she's standing.
I pulled at the ribbon with my teeth. The way the fabric lie on her area when it's loose is so damn sexy. I've seen Sakura naked plenty of times, but the reveal is one of my favorite parts about sex. I moved back up to kiss her again, purposefully rubbing my hardened dick against her thigh and pussy. I enjoyed the feeling of her wetting the fabric of the underwear.
I pushed her underwear away... Or it pushed itself away because I don't remember exactly pushing it away... Anyway, it was gone.
As the last of the alcohol shot through my system my memories of that night got hazier and hazier at the same rate it got raunchier. I have a hazy recollection of fucking her that night. I remember something about pounding her, tossing her from position to position, stopping every once in a while so she could suck her own juices off my dick. I remember garbled words about wanting her body so bad, about going mad with that feeling and reflecting that desire in speed and intensity. I remember her in flashes that night. Her hands clutching onto the sheets, the look of pleasure washing over her because as much as I was doing what I wanted to her, she was the one who had me.
I came inside her. Eventually we fell asleep.
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It was must've been three in the morning when I heard her roll over for the first time since we both passed out. Her hand reached out to my back. "I would have loved you..." she might've said in a whisper "...if you had loved me back."
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I woke up the next morning to find Sakura already out of bed. After putting on some clothing I walked into the kitchen. Sakura was standing at her counter holding a cup of coffee while munching on a bagel. For some reason she was dressed to head back to headquarters. She perked her eyebrows when she saw me enter the kitchen.
"Well. Two weeks vacation is already up and I've got a ton of paperwork to catch up on." she said casually. "There isn't much in the way of food here, but feel free to take a bagel if you're hungry."
As she turned to put her coffee away I felt a lump in my throat. I wanted to say something to her. Ask her something, maybe, but it wouldn't come out. Sakura went off to shuffle around for things she needed for work. Not feeling particularly hungry, I toasted myself a bagel anyway. She returned to the kitchen as I finished my toasted bagel with butter. She still had a few minutes before she had to leave, she said, but she gestured to the door to indicate that it was time for me to leave. Clearly I was overstaying my welcome.
As I walked down the steps from the second floor of her apartment complex, I couldn't help feeling a little dazed. Was I really leaving? I kept walking on nonetheless.
With my back turned to her door, I heard her step outside and light up a cigarette.
"If you're wondering why I brought you here," she said "I guess the truth is I wanted to get back at you. "
There was a pause.
"I wanted to get something out of all those years of unrequited love. It's petty, but I'm okay with that... Pride can sometimes a silly thing."
I looked up at her without saying anything and she in turn said nothing back.
"Guess I should get going."
I walked away from her apartment with an odd feeling of acceptance. Two weeks of sex and then I leave unceremoniously. No tearful "I'm going to miss you." No hugs or kisses. There was barely even a goodbye. This is it for us. This is what we have. I was neither elated, nor regretful. I looked back to her one more time. There she was, still smoking her cigarette, although I believe I saw a faint smile on her face.