[mirage]
                                                     seen by Ducky



   mirage (mi räzh') n. an optical illusion, caused by the 
   refraction of light, in which a distant object appears  
   nearby 



            (She was floating.)

(It was quiet, serene, a place she had never seen before, 
   never been before.)

                                 (The Ideal.)


                                        ('Please ... help me ...')


(A little child, frightened.  She reached out her hand.)


       ('Don't be scared.  I'll help you.')



                                   [act 01: introduction // begin]



Something was off again.

It was stronger now, the feeling that things weren't right, just 
like before, two days ago.  Rei stopped sweeping, letting the 
stillness take her, searching within it, hoping it would give her 
an answer.

Nothing.

And that scared her all the more.

The broom dropped to the ground as Rei dashed inside.

The phone had never sounded so loud before, the shrill sound 
scaring Ami half out of her chair.  She breathed deeply, composing 
herself, then resumed her typing with her left hand, her right 
hand reaching over to pick up the phone.

The typing stopped.

      No.

The group had assembled at the hospital after a series of terse 
phone calls.  Rei, Ami, Makoto, Minako, Hotaru and Haruka sat, 
stood, and paced as they waited, nervously, dreading the news 
Mamoru had yet to give, news that they already knew.

He walked in as a doctor; lab coat immaculate, shoes shined, 
stethoscope perfectly laid around his neck, clipboard in hand and, 
to complete the look, a blank, expressionless face, which in 
itself spoke volumes to the waiting.  But they saw it in his eyes.  
He was Mamoru, would always be Mamoru and, despite his attempts to 
be otherwise, it was Mamoru standing there before them.

He knew that they knew.  They'd known, they'd felt it but he had 
to make the unspoken a spoken truth.  He had to be the one to 
voice it, regardless of what they knew.  Saying it made it real.  

      But I don't want to make it real ...

He sighed.  

And he told them.

Start to finish, taking in and setting aside the stunned faces, 
the terrified eyes and pushed through to the end.  He refused to 
break down, not here, not now -

  'There's work to be done.'

  'But what can we possibly do?  We have no powers; if we go out 
   there we'll end up like -'

Makoto stopped.  A silence fell, filling in the obvious blank.

      We'll end up like Usagi.

  'But we have to do something.  With or without our powers, we're 
   still Senshi.'

Hesitant glances were passed.  Minako quieted, almost whispering

  'We have to try.  It's what Usagi would want.'

The other truth, the second reality that they all knew.

  'We're going to need help.'

Rei shifted in her seat, her eyes distant, not seeing the 
surprised looks.  

  'I can barely sense anything now.'

Hotaru looked instinctively to Haruka, noticed how she had
straightened at the words.  She knew what Rei was implying, knew 
that Haruka knew what was being implied, what everyone was waiting 
for her to say, what they wanted - needed - her to do.  

It all came back to the mission.

      I'm 16 all over again.

  'I could talk to her, if you want.'

Ami, always the perceptive one, more than anyone really knew.  

A moment, but Haruka shook her head.

  'It was my fault she left.'

      It's my right to apologize.
 
      And try to bring her back.

She hesitated before leaving her car.  The engine had seemed so 
loud, but now that it was turned off, her mind was no longer 
focused on the sound.  Her thoughts overwhelmed her.

She closed her eyes.

      Just keep it professional.  The only reason that you're here  
      is because of the present situation.  

      The mission.

      No prying into each other's personal life, no 'how do you 
      do's, no divulging of any information not pertinent to the 
      crisis at hand.

      Think 16 again.

A nod and she gathered her keys and what was all of her courage 
into her hand and got out of her car, walking down the pathway.

It was quiet, almost oppressive, but not really silent.  

The lights weren't on.

She winced at the sound of the doorbell echoing inside the house.  
The neighbors probably heard.  But she rang one more time, just to
be sure.

A light flickered on.

She felt her heart beat speed up and she consciously had to fight 
to keep her breathing under control.  

      You're 16 again - before you cared, before you understood 

The door opened.

Michiru had to resist the urge to shut it again and Haruka saw it.

     No 'how do you do's ...

  'Usagi is dying.'

She froze.

Haruka watched as incredulous disbelief, then horror pass over the 
other woman's face.

  'What?'

  'Two days ago.'

Perplexity. 

  'You felt it.'

Understanding dawned. Then concern

  'But ... how?'

  'We don't know.'

  'You don't know?!'

  'No one was there.  None of us were there.'

Silence fell.  Haruka, silhouetted in the moonlight.  Michiru, 
standing in the half-light.  She lifted a hand to her face, 
confusion clearly evident.

      The visions ...

Belatedly, Michiru motioned for Haruka to come in.  They walked 
through the house, settling in the living room.  They sat opposite 
each other.  She was calm now.

  'You want me to come back.'

Haruka controlled her reaction and answered carefully.

  'To help Usagi, yes.'

Michiru realized what she'd said.  Averted her gaze.

  'Yes ... to help Usagi.'

Another silence.


                   ('Usagi, are you all right?')

         (Ethereal, she looked at the little boy, a slight smile 
            on her face.)

                                 ('How do you know my name?')

   ('I've heard of you.  Everyone knows about you.')

                     (Innocent.  Just a lost little child.)

                           ('Everyone?')

          (She looked around.)

                                     ('What "everyone"?')

       (Not accusing; never accusing.  Gentle, curious.  The child 
          kept at ease.)

                     ('They all went away.')

                                 ('Is that why you were scared?')

             (A nod. A sniffle.)

(Please don't go away.  I don't want to be alone.)

                  (A gentle embrace, like a mother would.)

                               (Don't worry.  I'll stay with you.)


The machines beeped a muted rhythm, a monotonous tone attempting 
to take the place of the now faint heartbeat.  Mamoru knew the 
difference.  Felt it inside.  

He was losing her.

      Here, but not.

      Alive, but barely.

He closed his eyes.  Holding on to the nearly lifeless hand.

      Please don't go away.


      I don't want to be alone.
 


                                     [act 01: introduction // end]





Ducky
12 May 2003 - 27 May 2003