Title: Wrong Size, Big Mistake Theme: Fashion Disaster Genre: Humor Version: Anime Rating: G Mamoru sighed as he stood outside the doors of the women’s dressing room, looking down at his watch. It was now two o’clock exactly, which meant he had just wasted the past hour of his life waiting for Usagi to pick out the perfect dress to wear to her cousin’s wedding. Why had she dragged him along anyway, instead of one of the other girls or her mother? It was bad enough that Usagi was forcing him to escort her to the wedding, where she would undoubtedly spend the entire time hinting to him that it was time to start planning their own; did she really need to torture him even further by taking him dress shopping? It wouldn’t have been so bad if she actually valued his opinion. Mamoru had given the thumbs up to several beautiful gowns, but every time Usagi rejected his choices, claiming they just weren’t right. He wondered what was the point in asking him when she didn’t care what he thought anyway. “Usa-ko, how much longer is this going to take?” he asked, well aware his voice was edging on the border of a whine. “It‘s already been an hour, and I still have that important test I need to study for.” The blonde head of his fiancée peeked over the door to one of the stalls, an apologetic look on her face. “Just a few more dresses, Mamo-chan,” she promised. “That’s what you said twenty minutes ago.” “This time I mean it. In fact, if you could just take this dress back and get me a size 6, I really think it might be the one.” “Okay, fine,” he sighed, willing to do anything if it meant they could get out of there. “Give me the dress.” She handed Mamoru the dress -- a pretty pink frock trimmed with lace -- over the stall, and he sprinted back to the rack where they had found it, grabbing the first size 6 he could find. In fact, he was so fast, Usagi still hadn’t finished taking off the yellow sequined gown she was trying on when he left. “Somebody’s sure in a hurry,” she teased as he tossed the new dress over the door of the stall. “Yeah, yeah, just hurry up and try it on.” Mamoru returned to his post outside the dressing room, worried when five minutes had passed and Usagi still hadn’t come out to show him the dress. Curious, he stuck his head back in the room, glad that Usagi was the only occupant in there at the moment, and called for her. “Usa-ko? You okay in there?” “Uh…Mamo-chan?” For some reason he couldn‘t quite explain, Mamoru felt as if his stomach had just done a somersault. “Yes?” The door to Usagi’s stall swung open. “Do I look fat in this outfit?” she asked in a far-too-sweet voice, pulling the spaghetti straps of the dress back up her shoulders. Not that it did any good. The dress was hanging off of her, her lacy bra fully visible, and the hem of the gown, which should have hit mid-calf, reached past her ankles. When Usagi tried to model it for him, the straps once again slipped off her slender shoulders, and if it wasn’t for the fact that she had her hands on her hips, trying to tighten the billowy fabric around her waist, it would have completely fallen off. “Usa-ko, is it supposed to look like that?” Mamoru inquired diplomatically, not about to answer the question every boyfriend dreaded to hear even if the answer was obvious. Who was he to pass his judgment on anything related to fashion? Perhaps oversized dresses were all the rage nowadays. Blue eyes narrowed into tiny slits. “No, it’s not,” she declared. “And it wouldn’t if you had given me a size 6 like I asked you to.” “What? But I did. See, it‘s right there on the -- oh-oh.” “Oh-oh” was right. In his haste to get back to the dressing room, Mamoru had not seen the “1” in front of the “6” on the tag. Usagi immediately burst into tears. “You think I’m a big, fat cow, don‘t you?!” “No, Usa-ko, it was an honest mistake. You have to believe me!” He moved to comfort her, but before he could touch her, Usagi ran back into the stall and slammed the door shut behind her. Resigned to his fate, Mamoru once again resumed his post outside the dressing rooms. It was going to be a long day. DISCLAIMER: "Sailor Moon" is the property of Takeuchi Naoko. AUTHOR'S NOTES: Any comments or criticisms can be sent to me at ElysionDream@aol.com. Written for the sm_monthly community at Livejournal.