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Vignette Collection: Waiting Upon Hell in Heaven by Moon_Destiny
Waiting Upon Hell in Heaven
|Summary:||Mamoru’s nightmares scare him, and make him feel helpless, but he takes comfort where he can get it.
Mamoru thinks the young girl he's holding in his arm is foolish. He thinks he's not worth being with if it means her death. Even so, he's not strong enough to keep fighting her and eventually gives in. That doesn't mean that he still isn't worried. He's deathly afraid for their future, but he just can't will himself to stay away from her. He has tried that all ready, and he thinks that he won't be doing that any time soon. She makes him feel complete and fills in him that void that seizes him whenever he's alone.
He doesn't quite understand why he needs to be close to her. He just does. He needs her like he needs air to breathe. But- but he still wakes up in a cold sweat at night whenever he has that dream and his heart is attacked with panic and fear- that dream of them getting married. It's a beautiful dream and one that he doesn't mind having, but then why the nightmares? Is his subconscious trying to tell him something? Does he really want that in the long run?
Of course he does! He can't believe he'd even doubt his love for Usako. There really isn't any doubt. At least there wasn't before these nightmares started cropping up.
He just can't stop thinking on what it all means. It doesn't feel as though it's just a dream and something that he should put away in the back of his mind so it can haze into abstract lines and shapes like all the other dreams. This one feels too important and one that doesn't want to be shoved away.
He can't do anything else but think about it because it's frightening beyond hell. It doesn't matter that Usako had the same dream and that, despite it all, she still chose him over her own death. It's comforting to know and he's elated that she didn't give up when he easily did, but she's young and he doesn't quite believe she realizes the seriousness of the dream.
His hand tightens around her shoulder protectively and he looks adoringly at her sleeping face. Her mouth slightly agape and drooling onto his chest- not that he minds. As long as he gets these chances to hold her like this, peacefully and lovingly, he wouldn't mind drowning in her drool for the rest of his life. And he desperately prays for that. He prays that the dismal nightmare ends up being only a dream and not a premonition.
He prays because he hopes that someone will answer his prayers.
Because someone once did. Someone once answered his prayers for someone to love and he hopes he's lucky enough for his prayers to get answered twice.
He hopes and prays now because that's all he can do now. That's all he can do.
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