Blood was hot against his fingers tips
Blood was hot against his fingers tips. When he lifted his
hands, there were the faint beginnings of blisters along his red flesh.
Perfection.
Tilting his head back, he took a deep, lingering breath. The sweet smell of
incense mixed with the fragrance of scorched flesh. His senses swam in a heady
dance more potent than any wine. Dragging his tongue along his chapped and
split lips, he savored the lingering taste of the ceremonial blood that had
rested in a sacrosanct chalice.
Lifting dark brown eyes, he considered the prone forms their flesh still
warm under the palm of his hand. The double alter had been created for this
purpose and drugged ecstasy sang through him.
The first body was that of a young man. His face was deeply lined with
markings of his agony and stress. His delicate flesh was so pale and bloodless
that he couldn’t help but run a finger along his rounded cheek. The cooling
skin soothed his burnt fingertips. Bruises lined his shoulders and neck. Unable
to stop his low chuckle of mirth he continued to take deep, even breaths;
delighting in the sensory overload. Opening his eyes he smiled at the
green-tinged expressions on the faces of those who he had allowed to witness
his glory.
Her glory.
Next to the boy rested the stinking carcass of a young bull. His horns were
sheared to create the weapons that had meticulously carved the flesh of his
little sacrifice. The engraved symbols along the altar smeared with the mingled
blood of both bodies. Between those bodies, in front of the white-hot flame prolonged
with the application of magic; were two sets of genitals placed delicately on
an elaborate platter. Ready to go into the fire, just as soon as the rest of
his glorious preparations were complete.
Dipping his hands back into the heated mingled blood, he lifted his finger
and began to thickly paint dripping on his skin. The steady thrum of his own
heartbeat was soothing as he completed the markings. And a single word of power
had the blood turning to ice against his flesh.
Opening his eyes, he cast one more glance at the boy. Savoring, memorizing
the thing of beauty created with every meticulous slice of the bull’s horn
under his expert, guiding hand. He had relished his duty, his passion…taking
him into salvation itself. Until now there was only this perfect offering, this
pure thing, stripped and cleansed of its human flaws and imperfections. He
could go into the afterlife with the knowledge that his soul had been cleansed.
Only she was perfection. Only she could sit before this altar and understand
… forgiving the creatures who had mistakenly thought they were above her. She
was above them all…giving her rule to them with a cool acceptance of their
unworthiness. Placing both palms in the dark blood he began to cast.
The blood boiled. The incense sputtered and flickered out until only his own
panting words, and the scalding heat under his hands were apparent to his
senses. It took but a little concentration and the plate sparked with the
flame. The fluid under his hands kicked and hissed, splattering in hot drops
along the front of his body.
It was nothing to bear for her.
His eyes opened in surprise when the blood went cold. His eyes snapped
upwards and he stilled at the picture in front of him.
A slender man no taller than he was himself, stood and looked at the bodies
of the dead boy and animal with a neutral expression. His clawed fingers traced
along the youth’s chest, lingering just above the split skin. When he lifted
his eyes Akira was struck by the color.
The color of emeralds… the jewel-rich color threaded through with twisting
lines as vibrant as new leaves.
He said nothing, simply took in the scene as one corner of his thin-lipped
mouth curved.
“How interesting.”
Akira was stunned into silence at the mellow voice. The speakers face was
not nearly as unnervingly beautiful as the dark symbols that were scattered
across his torso and shoulders. The careful grace as he dipped his finger into
one of the many open wounds then lifted it to his mouth and licked.
“I suppose you wish to speak to my Lady.” He moved a little and Akira was
almost thankful that he wore a pair of breeches that hit several inches below
his knee. More of those fascinating designs smoothed down the line of his
calves. “I will deal with you.”
Akira had to swallow before he found his tongue. When he tried to lift his
arms he discovered that he was unable to move. Glancing down in shock to find
that the blood was swirling with darker spirals that were twisting around his
arms…
“I don’t like my pretty things to leave before we are finished.” Two fingers
tilted Akira’s chin and he found himself starring up into those magnetic eyes.
“What do you want, little mortal?”
Under the heat of his gaze Akira wondered, for a moment, what it would be
like to have those eyes. Shaking the thought off, he missed the flicker of gold
that snaked across the surface and disappeared back into the depths of his
pupil. “I want to make a bargain.”
Claws dug in lightly below his ears. “I do not enjoy unnecessary repetition.
What bargain do you wish to make?”
Akira struggled for a moment before Her beautiful
face swam back into the picture. “Power.”
Those lips curved upwards for a moment before Akira was released. “How simplistic.” The beautiful creature gave a bored little
sigh. Skin the striking color of copper set off the markings on his shoulders
flickered once with power, setting off the striking copper color of his skin.
“Is that all?”
Akira blinked in surprise.
“Power is so…broad.” The smile he flashed showed off sharp fangs. “Humans
are so simple in there needs.” He tilted his head to the side. “Perhaps I
could…perhaps I won’t. Tell me, little mortal, how much is this human
soul worth to you?” He twisted his finger and the image of a woman formed,
Tomoe’s wide-brown eyes starring at him. “What would you give me to aid her?”
Akira stared at the image. She was smiling at him. He couldn’t look away
from that smile. He spoke softly. “Anything.”
That smile broadened. “It will be painful.” He gave a delicate shrug while
his eyes gleamed strangely. “However, the benefits would be…to your liking. My
power would be yours.” His smile widened. “Everything of mine would be yours.”
Akira found himself agreeing.
Those fingertips traced the dips of his jawline and the demon’s teeth gleamed.
Akira was left wondering what the demon was going to choose to do when suddenly
there was sharp, agonizing pain in his right eye. His spine arched, and the
muscles in his arms stood out as his mouth opened in a silent scream. His own
blood dripped into his mouth, metallic and bitter. Akira forced himself to
watch through his left eye as the demon considered the eye before tossing it
onto the burning fire. The smile on his face was terrible even as the image
wavered.
Akira felt his stomach churn and rebel as the demon reached upward with
bloody claws and inserted them into his own eyes. Blood began to pool and
dribble down his own cheek before he held one of the green tinted orbs in his
hand. Akira writhed against his restraints, attempting to find release from the
pain, digging in with his nails so violently that they bent painfully into the
bottom of the trough.
“Mine is now yours.” The demon told him simply and lighting speared through
his skull. Blood continued to drip down his chin, onto his neck, mingling with
the blood already spilled.
Akira thought he would never stop screaming even as his second eye was
removed. Low chuckling cut through the noises that his own throat was producing
as his body bent almost in half from the force of his pain.
Something coarse and scratchy settled over his ruined eyes.
“Three days and you will see the world through my eyes. Be careful not to
die too soon, little mortal. What is mine is yours but one day I will come to
collect from you what shall become mine.” Again, that
chilling laugh. “My name, mortal, is Qadesh.”
With that, Akira was left in the darkness with only his own hoarse cries and
the cold blood to keep him.
~*~
He walked through the busy streets of Cervon with the people
were bustling to and fro, occasionally giving the sign of respect for someone
in his robes. He had gotten into the habit of ignoring both the looks and the
offers of money. Accepting money would make him feel guilty. Especially when
his inner pocket jangled with dozens of gold and silver pieces cushioned on
silence charms. The charms themselves were practically illegal but he had spent
good blood on getting them and guarded them as carefully the coins themselves.
The long monk-robes hid his twin long-knives easily. As well as coils of
amber beads and pretty shells just as buried with various spells he had traded
certain skills to obtain. The uncharged ones still worked as a sort of currency
in some countries. He carried his money lightly.
He was tired now.
His four day beard itched along the strong line of his jaw and the scar on
his face burned under sweat. It was an old wound but it acted up occasionally,
and he had been in the elements to long. He paused where he was walking and
looked around, taking in the sights of a country he hadn’t seen in years.
Cervon was a peaceful country that held the allure of hidden danger. It had
been several years since he had traveled here. He stood at the rail of one of
the great bridges that spanned the rushing river below him. The main river was
called úaine, referring to the startling green tint to the river. Here
the water was rich with minerals and very, very deep. Fishing,
with fishing and trading common along the wide banks. Even now he could
see the imprint of one of the great trading ships along the horizon. The barges themselves easily able to go under the bridges thanks to
the careful application of magic that allowed them to slowly pull the water
levels down until the ships could sail underneath.
On the bank, the high tower cast a long shadow over the sparkling water. The daunting structure allowing both a Master-mage and their
apprentice to sit comfortably in wait for the ships. Pushing away from
the memories the river brought, he continued his path into town.
The place was alive with noises that were mostly indistinguishable from the
ever present clacking of hooves on the cobblestone streets. The most current
gossip seemed to be the return of there king and his bride. Sighing, he
considered leaving his robes somewhere dark but decided that the need for ale
was not stronger than his need for his disguise. The taverns were already
starting to swell with the late lunch crowd.
His mouth hardened as he considered the search that had brought him this far
into the magi lands. There were too few left to collect on that promise --- for
all he knew he was the only one left. But it was an oath he had given in faith
and blood, and he was doing all he could to keep it.
At a quaint little fruit stall, he purchased a set of apples and a small
flask of juice before finding a place in the cool shade of a large tree. Eating
his chosen snack in such a place provided the added benefit of listening to the
gossip without appearing to do so.”
“Did you hear all the details yet?” A young-sounding female voice giggled, drawing
his attention a little ways down to a bench. Her voice was high enough that she
sounded young. He guessed that her age was between fourteen and fifteen summers
and he wondered where her chaperone was.
“Of course I did!” the older sounding woman scolded. Her voice was rough as
if she used it often. “It’s flying through the Guilds faster than anything I
have ever heard before. All the shipments from Triath have been
suspended and any goods that arrived yesterday or the day after that were
returned. Harbor Master Shura is furious and the dock-guards are making sure
that everything stays where it’s supposed to.” Her voice lowered. “They aren’t
letting anyone trade.”
Stunned silence echoed for a moment before the child spoke again. “I can’t
believe the rumors are true. She really broke faith with the King? Have you
seen him?” The higher voice was grating on his nerves, but the conversation was
giving him information he hadn’t encountered before. So…she was in
trouble with this King was she? “He is just so yummy and she…”
“I heard that she blackmailed this girl into the King’s bed. My Cousin was
in the caravan that went with the King to Triath and he said that his
Majesty threw a fit when he found out. Was furious at the
Princess. Apparently he decided that the new Queen is a better match and
kept her for himself.” She gave a dreamy sigh. “Must have
been love.”
The other girl grinned. “Well, between that and the soul bond, of course he
would want her back. Oh, look at the time, I have to get back. Momma would have
my hide otherwise. I have some weaving I have to finish.” The girls finished
with a whine in her voice, but her movements were quick as she gathered the
remains of her lunch and trotted off.
He considered what he had overheard while he finished off the flask of fruit
juice. There hadn’t been a servant in the palace that he hadn’t known or bribed
at some point. If they spoke truly and the girl had been blackmailed by the
Yukishiro clan… she would know something. Perhaps she would even have concrete
information about the others under Tomoe’s thumb. Tomoe would never have put
someone in that bed she hadn’t expected to be killed for those actions. The
girl had to know something to warrant such a move.
Hope flared in his chest. Either on her death or her escape.
He needed news. After tearing Triath apart for years he still knew nothing.
He would have to plan this carefully. He didn’t intend to get himself killed
by a jealous new husband. Everyone knew how possessive the men here were of
their women. The fact that he had almost lost her once would make him
hypersensitive to everything that happened around her.
Dusting his hands along his robes he set off to plan his attack.
~*~
Kaoru had spent the morning exploring the rest of the royal
apartment and discovered, to her delight, that the main sitting room had a
large balcony that overlooked the garden. “A balcony not only comfortably
furnished, but with a carefully carved roof to allow plants and their vines to
crawl through the designs. More plants hung in decorative pots and the wooden
railing shared the same style as the roof, equally threaded with the vibrant
plant life.
She had immediately gone to her hidden collection of books and dragged them
out into the sunlight not necessary. The books on trade routes were boring at
best, so she picked up what she was almost certain was a beginner’s instruction
manual to magic.
She promptly gave herself a headache.
The words were written oddly, and it took a bit to recognize what they were
trying to say. Besides which, the actual runes themselves hurt her eyes.
Despite that, She had gotten through a few pages the day before and her fingers
itched to write down what she’d found so she could look them up. Part of her
irritation stemmed from the way they had of describing things without actually
telling her what they meant. Slamming the books shut, she glared at the title.
Either the book was lying or children were given private tutors who verbally
taught them until they reach that level. Flopping back on the cushioned lounge
chair, she changed her focus to the colorful flowers that were splashed across
the roof.
This was going to take longer than she thought it would.
She was torn between screaming in frustration and tossing the book at one of
the walls when she heard the sound of footsteps. Reaching for one of the
pillows, she shoved her books beneath them as quick as she could and spun.
Spinning around just as Tae walked onto the balcony with the little cart she
brought with her when she served her meals.
“I see you found the balcony!” Tae said in delight. “Once
the winds stop blowing so randomly we will hang a hammock out here for your
private use.” She gave Kaoru a wink. “As a boy his highness used to
sneak out here at night and sleep. Gave his late mother fits.”
Kaoru tried to imagine Kenshin as a sneaky little boy with mischievous eyes
and failed. “I don’t know what half of these plants are,” Kaoru confessed as
she brought her legs up on the lounge and settled herself comfortably to watch
Tae prepare her plate. The woman had been horrified when Kaoru had suggested
she just bring the plate already prepared. She hadn’t tried it again.
The meal was delicious and she ate hungrily. Spiced meat and fried bread
with both long, mild-tasting greens and short, curled spicy ones all arranged
almost artistically on the plate. Tae didn’t ask as she finished but simply
dished out another helping. Kaoru had discovered that Tae was on a mission to
put ‘some meat on her bones’. So, she obediently ate as much of her second
serving as she could and sat back with a groan washing everything down with the
chilled, spiced cider that came with every meal before she rolled the mug
between her fingers. She didn’t know what spell was used but even the cup
itself was a little cool to the touch.
Dessert was always something different and with the heat she had heard the
maids giggling to themselves. Apparently, the kitchen specialized in the art of
making ices and some sort of cream dessert that everyone loved now that it was
warming up, but she was completely lost as to what they could be referring to.
Unfortunately a cookbook was the one thing they didn’t have in the library.
“I will leave you be,” Tae said once she finished rearranging everything to
her satisfaction. “I expect that I won’t have to remind you to attempt to take
a nap this afternoon. The only thing better for sleeping than a hot bath is a
full belly,” she said briskly. “There are several protection spells woven
around the room but if you fall asleep in the sun, your fair skin will burn.”
Kaoru blinked at the bustling women and rolled her eyes. She didn’t need a
nap, what she really needed was to find a place to work off some of her
lassitude. Pulling her knees up to her chin, she watched the way the trees blew
in the wind.
It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate the effort everyone was making to help
her feel welcome. It was just that she was bored. Her only options were to
either dig through dusty books that made her head hurt or lay around all day.
She was used to doing physical work.
But, it wasn’t just that. She felt stranded. Without a
purpose.
For her entire adult life she had been hell bent on revenge and now the
chance had completely slipped through her fingers. There was nothing there for
her to grasp or bring back from the dead. She supposed she could bring up her
problem to her husband, but then it would become something he did. The
death of her father’s killer had always been too personal to share, and she
felt a little depressed now that she was without the ability to set her
father’s soul at rest.
Sighing heavily, she lifted her eyes to the sky.
‘What am I supposed to do now…?’
~*~
Kenshin has spent the entire morning going over dock reports
and working out a transfer rate with both Shura and the head of his tax collection
division; Sawagejo Chō. Cho was foreign-born but
had proved himself in his trade and was overall a fair man. They had haggled
all morning trying to find some mutually acceptable way to figure out the new
trades and average out the cost.
He supposed he could have brought someone in to do the work for him but he
always preferred to handle the beginning stages himself. Shura and Cho would
give the decisions to the people who knew how to take them and apply them, but
this way he at least felt as if he had helped solve the problem he had created.
He rubbed tiredly at his eyes as he walked down the dock. Boats were being
unloaded and goods being haggled over in a sort of controlled chaos that
brought him some measure of familiar peace. The memory of his own father
bringing him down so he could learn where everything started curled in the back
of his mind, and a smile ghosted across his face.
It was when he was walking by some carefully tended stalls that he
remembered his wife’s request for paper and ink. The stalls along the docks
were a good place to do specialty shopping and held an interesting variety the
mainstream market pushed aside in its haste to meet popular demands. He
remembered buying his mother a set of pearl earrings here that she had worn every
day for a month.
Finding a little place that had beautifully polished ink bottles and
delicately painted quills he examined everything with a practiced eye. Wide
brown eyes set in a round face watched him with surprise as he continued to
look over her things. She said nothing, but he looked up when he heard the
slide of wood against wood.
Inside the little hand carved box was a ink pot
made out of dark blue glass with little flowers carefully painted in vivid
colors. The artwork was a little shaky, as if the artist was nervous, but the
little imperfections added to the creativity of the piece. There were feathers
with the same patterns painted on the strands.
Her next offering was several leather-bound books with completely blank
pages. The leather had been carefully tooled to give it an interesting texture.
“How much?” Kenshin asked softly, fingering the
box. She smiled and silently offered him three fingers. Kenshin dug out the
gold coins and grinned at her surprised face. Softly he requested a bag and she
nodded gently wrapping each item to protect it in its journey. As soon as the
items touched his hands he sent them to the palace and winked at her startled
face.
It was on his way back to his horse that something else caught the corner of
his eye. Turning, he found an elderly man slowly polishing glass beads. His
eyes flickered over the display until Kenshin found what had caught his
attention.
Several pieces of jade jewelry were displayed behind the man to showcase the
artwork and craftsmanship of each design. Walking over for a better look he was
caught by the simplicity of the jewels.
Kenshin mentally tried to remember if his wife had any pretty baubles or
ear-drops to wear casually around the palace. She had complete access to the
royal jewels, but he remembered his mother complaining that some of the gifts
were too heavy to wear except to state dinners. She had the jewels she had been
given -and would be given- as wedding presents, but the idea of her wearing
something he had bought had him moving even closer to admire the pieces.
Kaoru would like these.
“Can I help you, young man?” The withered voice asked carefully, as if each
word was a choice instead of a reaction. Kenshin looked up and grinned. This
was twice he had gotten away without being recognized.
“I am trying to find something for my wife,” Kenshin told him lightly.
“We’re newly married.” He found that he was starting to blush and mentally
shook himself. He was acting like a newlywed. Well, he was, but now he
was acting like a newlywed who was still madly in love with his wife.
Which he wasn’t.
The old man gave him a knowing smile and shifted to the side to give him a
clear view of his wares. “Is there something you have in mind that you would
like?”
Kenshin considered the pieces. It took him a while to decide but the old man
was quite happy to allow him to handle anything he asked to look at. Finally a set of simple dark green beads that he wanted to see
against the skin of her throat. The earrings took a little longer to
select but he finally settled on several: a dangly pair of ear-drops, a simple
set of studs, and hoops threading a single bead in a way that allowed it to
slide freely on the delicate metal. Several bangle type bracelets of the smooth
stone were added to the pile, along with a matching thumb ring. On a whim he
bought her a letter opener with a bear carved as the handle.
“I wish to give you a wedding present,” he declared when he was finished
wrapping the pieces in small bits of silk cloth. “It’s just a little something
my wife made when she was younger. I believe your wife will enjoy it.” He
reached under the counter and pulled out a pale jewelry box. The box itself was
made from what appeared to be makrana marble. Blossoming colinin flowers
were painted a dark orange along with miniscule jade, turquoise, and malachite
blooms.
“There are two-thousand cut stones inlaid in the marble. My wife had hoped
to give it to our daughter but we had only sons. They have wives but each had
their own jewelry box.” He carefully placed it down next to the jewels. “It
would be an honor to give it to such a distinguished household. Your Lady seems
to be very special.” Once he’d finished the little man wrapped everything
carefully.
Kenshin opened his mouth to argue, but there was something in the twinkle of
the old man’s eyes that had him simply offering a bag of gold and whisking the
gifts away. By the time the man decided to check the content he would have
easily doubled the gold. Giving a deep bow, Kenshin turned and disappeared into
the crowd.
~*~
“I can’t believe you couldn’t have just sent someone out
here to fetch these herbs of yours instead of risking yourself.” Sano
complained watching his wife turn a little green at the smell of a particular
herb.
“Because they don’t have my nose,” she returned a little weakly and stepped
back to take in a gulp of clean air. “Don’t argue with me right now.” She
ordered as she closed her eyes. “Next thing you know Kaoru is going to get
involved in the ordeal.”
Sano glared at his wife. “You are going to be ill. Between this and the
heat…” His voice took on a warning tone and she leveled him with her cinnamon
eyes. Sano met her gaze clearly and she made a sound of frustration.
“Perhaps I can be of assistance?” Megumi found herself turning towards the
source of that mellow, carefully neutral voice. His dark brown robes billowed
around his strikingly tall frame in the afternoon winds, marking him as a monk.
His eyes were a clear gray and they took in her condition with a smile. “I do
not mean to be rude but I heard your…conversation. I
was trained a little with an herbalist and I would be ashamed of myself if I
did not offer up my services now.”
Megumi blinked rapidly, and Sano watched as the curious wrinkle that always gave
away her bemusement form between her eyes. “I don’t think I caught your name,”
she said finally.
“I have been allowed the humble name of Kagerou.” The monk said simply.
“I need fresh herbs,” Megumi admitted. Her eyes narrowed with faint
challenge. “Find me some fresh Agrimony and tell me why I need it.”
The monk was a little amused, it was the lines around his mouth, but he did
as she asked. He reached over and picked up some sort of plant that looked like
the rest of the plants to Sano’s eyes. “Agrimony,” he said simply. “I believe
the common use now is to control bleeding, conjunctivitis, and diarrhea.” He
bowed before her and offered her a smile.
Megumi gave a slight nod. A large sign of approval from
his wife. “Betony, Feverfew, Southernwood, and Yarrow.”
The list was rattled off and Sano was amused to hear his wife revert back to
her old accent in a clear indication she was either rattled or in a hurry.
The monk moved through the herb isle easily, occasionally asking a question
dealing with quantity and preference. “Conjunctivitis?”
Sano asked feeling slightly excluded, running his fingers through his wife’s
hair.
“Pink eye.” Megumi translated absently. “It’s going
to be the time of year for it and if we can catch it early, we can simply use
herbs to treat it instead of having to waste magic to cure it.” She leaned
backwards against him and laced her fingers together over her stomach. “You
know we’re attempting to stay away from magical dependency.”
“If you may forgive my impertinence,” the monk spoke as he easily bundled
the herbs together. “But I have not had temple business in this country in many
years. The rumors on the street have perked my interest.” He offered them a
tired smile. “I was hoping that the truth of your King finding some happiness is
true.”
Sano grinned back at the monk while half-watching Megumi go over the herbs
with careful fingers. “Kaoru? Yes, his Highness is
rather smitten.” He fell easily into the story they had decided to spread and
was greatly amused by the truth to the rumor Kenshin instigated. Even if
Kenshin didn’t know it recognize it. “She is going to
make a wonderful Queen.” Again, more truth. He was
just waiting on everyone else to realize it too.
Kagerou nodded, trying to hide the way his stomach had risen
into his throat. His heart felt like it stopped the moment she had started
speaking, and now he was having a hard time breathing
around the way his throat tightened.
He said Kaoru.
It was a name that was applied to both boys and girls in his kingdom but it
wasn’t as common as it had once been. Hiding his growing elation he finished
bundling the plants for the couple. “I thank you then.” He said softly.
Megumi gave him a considering look at his odd tone. “No, I should be
thanking you. We had a minor shortage and our normal supplier for these herbs
was delayed coming today. Is there anything I can do to repay you?”
Kagerou forced himself to put on his best serene expression. It was
difficult to think past the rolling excitement that was rushing through him. “I
could only offer my assistance, fair lady. It is as my order demands.” He
spread his hands wide and smiled. “I cannot accept anything for such a small
kindness.” ‘Not when you have given me far more than you can comprehend.’
It took a few more moments for him to talk his way out of anything the two
wanted to do for him, but he managed. Standing in the shade of a tree as the
sun began to dip lower in the sky, he watched the tall man help his pregnant
wife into a carriage. She looked a little irked and if the exasperated look on
the young man’s face said anything; her tongue could be as sharp as it was
kind.
Kaoru was alive.
It had to be her. There were so few…and if Yukishiro had thought she needed
someone of her own blood to pull off her trick, she would have used her without
thought. The idea that something had gone wrong with Yukishiro’s plans and now
Kaoru was safe and married to the King here…
Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply for long moments, blessing his goddess
before moving forward. He needed to know for sure and she should still remember
the codes.
Kaoru…
~*~
Kaoru stood rooted to the spot unable to move. And she had
been trying.
In front of her was a oddly written calendar that
showed the different moon cycles and seasons. It also marked off the seven-day
segments that divided the cycles of the seasons into manageable blocks. Better
to keep track of time. She knew that the marking of the days was still a
science that was being developed but this…
Her eyes were stuck on a single day.
Had so much time really passed? In two days it would be the third, second
day of this Moon cycle. Her knees felt a shaky and she reached out to brace
herself against the wall without ever taking her eyes from the date. Was it
really this far into the Growing Season? Was it really so close to another year
of admitting defeat and not being able to find peace?
Her father’s death anniversary was in two days.
She finally moved, but it was a jerky process. When she managed to find a
couch, her knees gave out almost before she could reach it. Dropping her head
into her hands she breathed deeply, in that steady, precise way that came from
fighting off a rush of tears. Her eyes were completely dry and she stared at
the outline of her fingers.
She had tried to ask Tae about rituals here for mourning the dead, had
debated questioning her husband about going to a temple to make an offering… So
many times she had wanted to break down and tell someone something. The
past few days had been filled with the pitying looks out of the corner of the
maids’ eyes…not Cameral, of course; others were uncertain how to treat her.
But despite herself, her tongue had stayed glued to the roof of her mouth.
Closing her eyes, she gave a shuddering sigh. It just hurt to damn much to bring
out into the open. The wounds she bore on her heart felt open and bleeding,
never given the chance to heal, they remained just as painful to deal with now
as the day they’d formed. The fact that she had spent the first three years
after her father’s death being forced to hide her anguish had taught her
lessons her mind was reluctant to release.
It was safer to be a slave than what she was. The longer she kept it hidden,
the longer she could let herself grieve in peace. The fact that she had failed,
completely and utterly failed to give her father’s soul any sort of peace in
the afterlife…
Nothing.
Pressing her fingertips lightly to her dry eyes, she shuddered. Still nothing. No way to mourn him.
Nothing.
Wiping the palms of her hands against her cheeks, longing for there to be
something there, she stood and walked to the window.
Kaoru leaned against the glass pane for long time, watching her breath fog
on the glass before she heard something odd, out of place in the quiet of the
hall. Lifting her head she peered outside and frowned when she heard the noise
again. Thrumming. Like little wings.
Moving away from the window, she headed out onto the balcony and looked
around. It was nearly dusk and Kaoru was forced to
squint a little as she waited for the mage-lights that surrounded the palace to
kick on.
A noise by her ear had her spinning and she gaped at the little jeweled
creature that was hovering effortlessly in front of her. Her vision swam for a
moment and she stumbled backwards against the railing, starring at the little
creature. Its back was molted blacks and dark greens, with bright sky-blue
splashed on its little tail.
Only one man ever used hummingbirds as messengers.
Her throat closed up until she had to fight to breathe. She stared at it for
long moments, thinking it was her longing for something familiar that had
conjured the little bird. However, its constant zipping up and down motions had
her realizing the truth. She held out her finger for it to land on.
Her eyes burned as it was getting harder not to cry but she stubbornly held
them in as she tried to remember what she was supposed to do next. Reaching up
into her thick braid, she pulled two or three strands of long hair from her
scalp and carefully wrapped them around one of the little bird’s legs.
Once she was finished, it shot off into the dark. She spun in an attempt to
follow its progress, but it was gone before she turned. The lights flared up on
all around her as she stared into the foliage that surrounded the palace. The
sounds of Cameral coming in behind her and bringing dinner, the deep voice of
her husband as he greeted her maid; it all faded a little in the background as
the knowledge that she wasn’t so alone finally sunk in.
‘Thank you…Daddy…’
