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Darien's Affirmation by Loki

I look through the window of my study and marvel at the beauty of the star-laden sky. Leaving this nocturnal portrait behind me, in three long strides I reach my desk and collapse into a comfortable chair. My first thoughts take me back to my insecure and unhappy childhood.

There was a time when I believed my life to be a contradiction. I felt I was a usurper in a world that ought to belong to somebody else. I was who I was, wasn’t I? I was an actor, cast in my own theatrical production, day after day, following the script and never stepping out of character to reveal the man within.

Then once more I step across the threshold of memory returning me to a time when my fertile imagination was my closest friend. I remember one day in first grade, lying on my back, gazing up along a flagpole as it pierced a deep blue sky filled with fluffy white clouds. It was here where I lost myself in the castles and forests of my imagination. The sky became a jigsaw puzzle, wherein I could create whatever world I so desired. These seasons of innocence held enough magic to keep my self-doubt and lonely existence at bay, for I couldn't remember my parents, or who I really was. I had constructed a crystal cocoon of fantasy and imagination to protect me from life's tempestuous storms, but I never gave up hope. My beautiful guide and muse had always been there for me, and her love gave me the strength to face the future with courage. She was a fleeting silhouette, a vision of warmth and loveliness; she was the governess of my hopes and dreams.

There was far more to my life's purpose; of this I was convinced. I close my eyes as the night works its magic. I drift for an extended moment, my inspiration taking shape as words form upon the page before me.

I think about my life, and how I've changed. My thoughts spin like whirling dervishes, reminding me of autumn leaves performing before an audience on opening night.

I stare absently into the flickering flame of a midnight-blue candle. The light opens vistas of creative possibility. I can always find solace in a single moment, like a crystal raindrop, suspended upon a leaf, for which time ceases to exist. My thoughts, like fiery arrows, released from somewhere deep within, find their target and explode into a kaleidoscope of brilliant color. My dreams become scenescapes, alive with creative power, and all the while, a mysterious dawn-star maiden looks on, smiling knowingly. She looks so familiar. I take her hand, and she leads me to worlds where anything is possible.

Suddenly, I see a falcon soaring above. His mighty wings spread before the sun’s burnished landscape, casting a benevolent shadow below.

I unfold like an ancient scroll; I turn like a page in a wizard’s hand. My life’s journey brings me to unclaimed shores, like driftwood finds itself upon a virgin beach. I collect myself and build a beacon, that I may light my own path and summon the dream weavers, bards and mistresses of the loom of magic.

I go willingly, signing a pact of love with the goddess of myth, magic and storytelling. I open myself as a page before these great powers, and await the story or song I will become this day.

We so often resist our inner seasons, forcing them to yield to seemingly implacable agents of fate. In our inner worlds, our dreams wait to be set free.

Shall we listen to them? Can we dream them again?

My pen suddenly moves across the page as if directed by its own will. The night belongs to the goddess Isis; her sea of stars drapes her celestial form. I her supplicant and celestial scribe and high-priest accept her bountiful decree.
The night's atmosphere is charged with powerful magic.

Serena, my beloved muse, floods my mind with whispers of her every word and hypnotic glance. I am bewitched by her incantation, which brings forth my tribute.
I close my eyes and see her standing before me.

The moon kisses the page as words continue to flow from my heart.

Serena, the stars bear witness to the tribute I offer you this night.

When I write, it’s all for you. We stand Moon and Earth, bound by love. Then, a rose forms in my hand, where seconds ago a pen served as conduit for my thoughts. I smile, sensing your presence as your gentle footfalls stop just behind me. I turn to face you, and my eyes behold the exquisite enchantress before me. You sit upon my lap, slowly wrapping your arms around my neck and lean forward to read. I notice the emotions playing upon your flawless and gentle face as you sigh in the way I have come to know and love so well. I smile as my words work their tender magic upon you. I stroke those soft meatball plaits, and wipe the tears from your cheeks.

"Oh, Darien, this is truly beautiful... What can I say?"

Her eyes lock upon mine as my feelings spill over. My voice comes out sounding husky. Then I feel a solitary tear break free, and it is gently brushed away by her fingertip.

She then hits me with those stunning blue eyes, and I feel that familiar melting sensation sweeping me away.

The moon and stars look on as we lose ourselves in a deep kiss. This passionate moment punctuates the moonlit night.


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