Taking over me
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Taking
over me
A Madlax fanfiction by regie27
Standard
Disclaimers apply
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“I look in the
mirror and see your face
if I look deep enough
so many things inside that are
just like you are taking over”
Taking
over me by Evanescence
The roar of RPGs and
mortars exploding in the distance reaches my fine-tuned ear. I’m well accustomed
to those sounds. In fact, I admit part of me used to miss them when I didn’t
hear them for too long. Those are the sounds of war, of the civil war that has
been tearing this country apart for twelve years. After all, the civil war has
sustained me. In a twisted sense, this war is my maker and my master. Lieutenant
Limelda Jorg, the Elite
Guard sniper extraordinaire wouldn’t even exist without the ceaseless
bloodletting this country has been inflicting to itself. Without a war, there
would be no need for me and my skills. This war begot me, nurtured me, shaped me into what I am. “Into what I used to be,” I
correct myself mentally as I glance at my companion while we both scan what lays
beyond the pillars of smoke and the flashes of gunfire that shimmer from the
depths of the jungle like fireflies in the dark of the night.
The smell of smoke and fire carried by a strong gust
of wind reaches my nostrils. This is indeed the most dangerous zone of this
bloody, relentless conflict. The Gazth-Sonika Kingdom
Army and Galza have littered these jungles with so
many dead, their bodies pile up before they can be recovered and so the
unfortunate that have been left behind end up serving as sustenance for the
vultures and for the thick jungle itself. Their blood, sweat and tears have
drenched the soil of these cursed lands so much the trees are beginning to
acquire shades of crimson beneath the brown bark. I wouldn’t be surprised to
realize that instead of salvia, these trees would ooze blood.
I am restless. This is a confession that I find hard
to admit yet it is the truth of this new me. Before, I had learned that
patience was the best ally in my line of work. I had learned to lay low, without even moving so slightly a muscle, as I
monitored my target until the moment was prime for me to squeeze the trigger. I
had even taught myself to control my breathing and heartbeats to mask my
presence as if I were a wraith, blending with the surroundings, lurking in the
shadows. I had acquired a control over my own body so complete that it had been
deemed almost inhuman. Maybe that’s why so many feared me instead of admire me.
I wasn’t human, I was a machine, cold and efficient and remorseless. Snipers
are handed the ugly task of personifying the grim reaper in human form. It’s
such hypocrisy. We are indispensable for the army yet we are seldom celebrated
by it. People mistakenly believe the grunts admire those who are good shots,
but such is not the case with snipers. We are a class of our own, more outcasts
than elite forces. Regular soldiers dream of achieving glory in the battlefield
with outdated notions of the past, of gallant charges and heroic deeds that get
rewarded by medals and recognition. Even with the technological advantages of
modern weaponry and state of the art communications, the average soldier dreams
of a heroic fight to the last man, of a showdown that pits man against man
until only one is left standing. For those soldiers, what I do is an
aberration, a taint to their ideals of honor and heroism. They wish to fight in
the open. I hide in the darkness. They work in groups, their confidence based
on numbers more than on their individual skills. I stalk alone as I wait
patiently until I have my prey on the crosshairs of my sight. They want their
fallen foes to know who dealt their death hand. My victims never know what hit
them.
Tonight I’m restless and I know who to blame for
that. It is the same person I’ve been blaming for the changes within me, for
introducing disappointment into my life, for the insanity that overwhelmed my
life with a single intent: to kill her. To annihilate the one who had
single-handedly turned my life upside down. The same individual who had held my
existence in the scales and had always chose to tip it to the side of life.
That always enraged and confused me. I knew all too well she was skilled, as
skilled as me and perhaps even more in the arts of death-dealing yet she
refused to pass judgment on my life with a bullet.
“Madlax” I whisper her
name. The one I once wished she were my executioner but instead became my
savior.
I should be dead by all accounts. She should have
killed me long ago. So may wasted chances when she could have easily disposed
of me. Yet somehow I survived. I managed to escape with my life but my pride was
hurt every instance we met that I couldn’t kill her. I couldn’t stand it and I
even believed it was her idea of torture. She must have known I would not cease
in my pursuit until I killed her but she didn’t seem to care and my rage would
keep on building because I hated to be defeated but I hated even more being
underestimated, or was it even pity? My madness grew out of control
and the truth I learned about this war from her did little to calm my insanity.
On the contrary, it grew, because my life had been stripped completely of any
meaning and the only objective I had left was the challenge that it had been tossed
to me the day Commander Guen MacNichol
died.
I can still picture myself the day I learned the
truth about this war. It was as if a veil that had shrouded me for the longest
time had been yanked off forcefully, revealing the world I thought I knew in
all its ugly reality, the deception that had been my existence exposed
painfully right in front of me. I did not take well the fact that after all my efforts,
I was just a mere pawn to be used at will by those who held the reins of true
power. I lashed out of pain, of anger, because I resented the fact that my
ideals, what I had believed all my life were just a travesty, and I sunk into a
murderous rampage that left my former CO and many comrades dead in my wake. The
only thing that remained true after this revelation was her. Madlax was the only thing that was real in a world of
mirrors and deception. That’s why I had a death wish. I just couldn’t bear it
anymore, my pride wouldn’t allow it, the fact that I had failed in the only
thing I knew how to do and that my whole life had been nothing but a farce.
The whir of helicopter rotors in the distance pulls
me out of my reverie and my hands tighten around my rifle out of pure instinct.
The white-haired girl beside me scouts the sky as if looking for a signal. I
know that look. She is expecting something but what I wonder. What I do notice
is that the fight hasn’t relented with the arrival of the night but it has
actually become more intense with each passing hour. What is driving both
factions this eerie night to fight with all they have? What madness has taken
over the hearts of men tonight?
“It’s about time” I hear my companion say. “The Door
of the Era will soon be opened by Margaret Burton and from then on, nothing
will remain the same.”
Her strange talk doesn’t seem to make sense to me
but I pick up a change in the wind. Overhead, a red full moon hangs ominously
and I wonder if Madlax will make it out of whatever
is about to happen. I have seen her defy fate over and over but the cold shiver
that runs down my spine tells me that this is no ordinary night and whatever
lies ahead might prove too much, even for her. This jungle has already
swallowed countless lives and I had to almost add myself to the statistics but
the bullet I bit didn’t come from Madlax’ barrel but
from her friend, the one I killed.
Killing people wasn’t new to me. It was my
livelihood and I had excelled on it, but I know this death was different. I
hadn’t even intended for her to die when my finger squeezed the trigger as I
took her bullet but it happened anyway. It was through her, Vanessa Rene, that
I was able to find out the truth. It was also her who kept interfering between Madlax and I. Back then, I couldn’t understand what she had
meant when she said the Vanessa was the one protecting her instead of the other
way around as I had thought. In the end, it had turned out to be exactly as she
had said. Vanessa gave her life to save Madlax from
me, from my insanity, and she was the one who had to pay the ultimate price.
And so I waited for Madlax to exact retribution for
her fallen friend but it never came. I had wished to be released from the agony
that was swallowing me inside, from the pain and the hatred and the guilt.
Instead, when we met again with an exchange of fire, Madlax
made a request that threw me completely off balance:
“I have a
favor to ask. Watch over me. I want you to remember an existence called I.
Don’t forget about me. Please, Limelda Jorg. Let me be inside you.”
And so that’s why I’m here, waiting in the shadows,
released by those words from my obsession, savoring my own existence as I vow
to never forget about hers. How could I when she has given me the gift of
freedom?
Suddenly, I sense the temperature rising, as if the
whole jungle were about to simmer. The crimson moon glimmers with an ominous
light and the jungle becomes unnaturally silent. All fighting has ceased but no
one has ordered a cease of fire. Why stop all of a sudden when the slaughter
had been so relentless tonight?
The sky transfigures into a kaleidoscope of colors.
I sense Nahal tensing beside me in expectation. Is
this was she had meant with the changing of the Era? And then, breaking the
oppressive silence I hear them. I can hear the voices, voices that speak in a
language foreign to me yet but so seductive and I’m unable to ignore them for
too long. Their pull is akin to the chant of the fabled mermaids and I fear
they will take my to my doom just as well. My body slumps heavily downwards. My
knees connect to the ground as I sunk into a trance that spins my senses out of
control.
“Elda…Taluta.”
Primal urges begin to rise uncontrollably from the
dark confines of my soul. I attempt to resist but my defenses are easily
overrun. After all, I’ve lived all my life in the dark so why should I resist
the call to let it all out?
“Sarkus…Sark.”
Shadows encroach over the last vestiges of my
sanity. The flash of a blade breaks the pitch-black darkness as it traces a
path before my eyes.
“Ark…Arks.”
My hand lifts my weapon and I feel compelled by the
voices inside my head to point the barrel of my rifle towards my companion, but
before I’m able to do anything, my conscience spirals into a void…
“Madlax, is this the death
I longed for so much… at last…?”
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I open up my eyes and the first thing I sense is the
surge of dull pain that runs all over my head. My hands dig beneath my black hair
and I sense a bump over my scalp. I yelp, the skin of my scalp still very much
sore and tender. I feel heavy, as if I had been submitted to turmoil yet I
don’t sense any discomfort in my body that speaks of a battle other than the
wounds I have been collecting from my fights against Madlax.
I can’t hide a smile as I notice the twin cuts above my shoulders. They remind
of the last words I exchanged with Madlax and of the
promise I made. My body suddenly tenses. I can sense a presence close to me but
I don’t feel threatened by it and before I can do anything but glance upwards,
I see a pair of purple eyes watching me in amusement. My heart skips a beat.
“I’m glad you’ve finally back to your senses. It was
getting boring to watch you sleep. Seems you found yourself a comfy spot in
this hard ground eh?”
I blink several times before reality sinks in.
“Madlax!” I exclaim. A sense of utter
relief washes over me as the girl I used to call my enemy approaches me.
“That’s me.”
She replies with one of her trademark impish grins I’ve come to love so much.
“I’m glad you haven’t forgotten about me. Say, now that you’re back on your
feet, how about we climb on your jeep and head towards somewhere safer. This
place is a powder keg and will begin exploding anytime soon.” She motions with
her hand to the dark spots in the sky that begin to close in on our position. I
bet they’re Kingdom army helicopters ready to raid Galza
positions.
I nod silently as I climb with her into the jeep. My
mind still wonders how I ended up face down on the cold soil with a lump on my
head but for now, I’m rejoice in the fact that Madlax
has made it back. I’ll have plenty of time to find out what happened last night
that seemed to have brought upon a significant albeit almost imperceptible
change to this land plagued by war and hatred. I’m just glad she is still
alive. I’m just glad that she has returned to me. We both board the jeep and
soon we make our escape from the upcoming battle that is about to begin.
“Limelda”
“Yes?”
She lifts up her head, allowing the wind to blow
through her dark blonde hair. “Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to exist
within you.”
I reply with a smile as we head out without a
specific direction. As I watch her from the corner of my eye while I drive, I
smile inwardly. Perhaps not today, maybe not even tomorrow but I know one day I
will be able to tell her the truth. That it is her existence that allows me to
live on.
“Perhaps then, you’ll allow me to live inside you
too.”
~Fin~
