La Guerrera del tiempo by Starsea

la imposibilidad de decir adios

Theme: Goodbye

I'm not looking for another as I wander in my time,
Walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme
You know my love goes with you as your love stays with me,
It's just the way it changes, like the shoreline and the sea,
But let's not talk of love or chains and things we can't untie,
Your eyes are soft with sorrow,
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.

Leonard Cohen
Hey, That's No Way To Say Goodbye

"I'm glad that you called," he said softly. "I've been wanting to talk to you but... I got the feeling you were avoiding me. And there wasn't any point in talking to you until you were ready."

Setsuna felt herself go red. Oh God, why did he have to read her so well? Why did she have to love him for that? Why did she have to love him at all? "What I said..." she began, and then stopped. She couldn't go on. It was coming, coming towards her. The consequence of her actions. That horrible, horrible word.

"Do you regret it?" he asked very gently, when it became clear she wouldn't continue.

"No, but... I wish I hadn't said it. I wish I hadn't said it and... and brought us to this."

"This?" He blinked. "What do you mean?"

"This, us, here..." She wanted to hide her face in her hands. She had never felt so out of control.

"If you wish you hadn't said it, then you do regret it," he pointed out.

"I don't regret the words, I regret the circumstances," she said, making herself look at him. "It was... silly of me to say something like that. It raises expectations."

"Oh. Really." He sipped his drink. "My expectations have remained at the same level, I have to say."

"Zabi..."

"If it makes you feel better, I'll say it back." He gave her that gentle, winning smile. "I'll even do it now."

"In the bar?!" She stared at him.

"Might as well."

"No!" She shook her head. "Zabi, telling me that you love me is not going to make things better."

"And what is going to make things better? In your opinion?"

Setsuna bit the inside of her lip and looked at the polished surface of the table for a moment. Here it was, the way out. He'd provided it so graciously. And she couldn't take it. "This was never meant to be serious," she said softly.

"I think it became serious a long time ago," he said coolly. "It's just that now you've realised it and you're scared."

"We have to end it," she said, throwing the words out like dynamite and waiting for the explosion.

"You mean, you have to end it," he said, not even flinching.

"Fine, I have to end it."

"So do it. Say goodbye, get up and walk out." He kept watching her. Why wasn't he looking upset? "If you're so scared, if you're so convinced that our relationship has passed its sell-by date, why don't you just say goodbye?"

She looked at him, taking her last fill of that golden hair, those green eyes, that perfect mouth. She took a deep breath. She opened her mouth.

"I can't," she said, defeated.


Title: Impossible To Say Goodbye

DISCLAIMER: Meioh Setsuna belongs to Naoko Takeuchi and the song belongs to Leonard Cohen.

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