As We Stumble Along
Chapter 6/?
By Baine
Email: ladybaine at gmail dot com
Written: July 10th, 2007 (Nope, not a mistake! I wrote this chapter before I started working on Chapter 5! ^^;;)
Posted: November 11th, 2007
*—(number) Implies that there is a Japanese cultural note regarding the topic at the end of the story.
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As We Stumble Along
Chapter Six
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One of the best things about being in an all-girl’s school was the uninhibited state of being. Girls had no qualms about propping their legs atop the desk while lathering on lotion or comparing cup sizes. By the end of his stay here, he’d be able to analyze a girl on the street and determine her bra size if he kept being exposed to such talk.
Watching from the corner of his eye as a girl with long, tan legs hitched her skirt even higher above her thighs as she continued rubbing in cream, he swallowed and turned back to the textbook he was supposed to be studying. How could a guy think in such an environment? Studying was all but impossible.
Looking up gratefully as Usagi plopped down beside him, he called out a greeting as she began to unpack her bag.
“Where’s Naru this morning?” she asked, pulling out her textbook with a grimace.
“Um, she got her period a little early, so she had to go back to the room really fast.” Umino struggled not to blush as he spoke. He’d been here for close to a month now, but he still didn’t like this particular topic. At least he could speak about it without stuttering now. He was thankful for the small accomplishments in life.
“She should have gone to the nurse’s office; it’s closer.”
“The nurse is a guy, though. She wouldn’t be comfortable talking about that with him.”
“Yeah, but he’s really hot. I wouldn’t mind having an excuse to see him.”
“You’re also a lot more outgoing than Naru is.”
“Mm, true.” Usagi pulled out a small compact and began to re-apply her lipstick, forcing Umino’s gaze to once more rove over her shiny mouth.
“Then again,” she mused, causing his eyes to quickly dart away, “he works at an all-girls school. I’m sure he wouldn’t have applied for the position if he couldn’t handle the topic, you know?”
Umino could think of a few reasons that would compensate for having to deal with such issues as a male, but he wasn’t going to mention them to Usagi. Could the nurse really be okay with such a topic, or did he just deal with it in order to reap the other perks that came with the job?
“Nobody in class had anything?” Usagi asked, bringing Umino back to reality yet again.
He blinked as his mind processed her question. He found that he spaced out much more here than he did while attending Azabu High. With so many females present throughout the day, he had more fantasies than he usually did, which wasn’t a good thing when disguising one’s self as a female.
Feeling Usagi’s gaze upon his face, Umino flushed, realizing he still hadn’t responded to her question. “Well, uh, at the time, it was just the two of us. We got here a little early today. It wasn’t that crowded in the caf this morning, so we beat the rush. I, uh—haven’t started mine yet, so I couldn’t help her. She should be back any time now, though.”
Usagi thoughtfully pursed her lips. “You know, the two of you are probably going to sync up in the next couple of months, so you should start carrying supplies around just in case.”
“‘Sync up?’” Why was girl talk always in Greek?
“Yeah, you know...” She tilted her head. “Rei and I have been living together so long that we get our period on the same day. You get two bitchy girls for the price of one each month. Actually, you’ll get that special tomorrow if all goes according to plan. We hang out with Naru often enough to have synced up with her, too. I mean, we’re a day apart, right? You’ll be falling into line soon enough.” She grinned and wiggled her fingers.
Umino could do little more than stare at her, aghast. He had never heard of such a thing. He remembered how touchy his mom got every month and shuddered at the thought of experiencing such torment in large doses. His face paled as another thought occurred to him. “Uh, so since everyone is pretty close to one another through the Six Degrees of Separation Theory, does that mean the whole school—”
“The Six Degrees of Separation Theory?” Usagi let out a bark of laughter. “You’re such a dork, Umi.”
“You haven’t heard of it? It’s when—”
“Well, sure I have! I read the magazines too, you know. It’s when you connect someone like Kimura Takuya to someone like, say, I dunno, Ayumi Hamasaki? Yeah, they’re good. They’re singers, but they’re also actors—well, Kimura-sama is more of an actor, but that’s not the point. You have to connect the two together through people they’ve worked with, met in real life, etc, and you have to do it all in only six steps! See, I’m not that stupid. You guys don’t give me nearly enough credit. I’m not just another dumb blonde, you know.” *—1
“Um, yeah, that.” Umino sweatdropped as he watched Usagi once more go into ditz mode, spouting examples a mile a minute at an indecipherable rate.
Shrugging as she patted her face with concealer, Usagi glanced at Umino through her small mirror. “To answer your question, no, we don’t all get our periods together. The girls on BC, for example.”
“BC?”
“Birth control. Hey, are you on the pill?”
“Of course I’m not. You know I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Sure, but you don’t need to be having sex in order to be on the pill.” Usagi closed her compact with a snap and shoved it into her small pink purse. “It’s for regulating your period and stuff, too. Didn’t your mom or your last school teach you anything?” *—2
“Well, uh...” Umino shifted uncomfortably. Minako had failed to provide him with lines for this type of conversation.
“Hey guys, what’s up?” Naru plopped gracelessly into her chair with a thud, saving Umino from the awkward conversation.
“Not much,” Usagi smiled over at the breathless red-head hovering over her desk, then zipped her purse and slung it across the back of her chair. “Heard you opted out of a one-on-one with Dr. Dreamboat this morning.”
Naru flushed, but managed a nonchalant shrug. “You know me. When I’m around someone as beautiful as he is, the words get stuck in my throat. How much worse would it be if I had to talk to him about something so embarrassing?”
“Ah, periods are a natural part of life, Naru. Between you and Umi, you’d think they were something taboo. I swear, you guys are perfect roommates.” Usagi shook her head and winked, then plopped her chin down against her palm. “Mm, he really is beautiful, though, isn’t he?”
Umino refrained from rolling his eyes at the sudden change of topic. He could practically see hearts pulsing in their eyes. They always went soft and mushy when it came to talking about guys.
Tilting her head to bring Umino back into the conversation, Usagi mused, “Don’t you think so, Umi?”
“No, not really.”
Usagi jolted in her seat, her hand falling to her desk. “Seriously? God, don’t you have eyes?”
Umino flushed. He hated this type of conversation almost as much as he did the one he’d been stuck in earlier. Floundering, he managed, “No, I just meant...well, guys aren’t beautiful.”
“Of course they are. What else could they be?”
“I don’t know, handsome? Only girls can be called beautiful.”
“Says who?”
“Uh...Mamoru, my brother, every male I’ve ever come in contact with? We—Er, they hate being referred to as beautiful.”
Usagi gave a nonchalant shrug. “Eh, let them hate it. They just don’t think it’s a manly word. We females know the truth.” She grinned cheekily and proclaimed, “Never listen to a man. Females always know best after all, right?”
“I guess...” He seriously didn’t get women.
Saved once again as their homeroom teacher, Haruna-sensei, entered the room, Umino and the girls turned to face forward. *—3, 4
“Ladies, today we’re going to discuss our homeroom’s role in next month’s Cultural Festival. Our class was assigned the task of putting together this year’s stage production. For the rest of the month, we’ll spend homeroom working on our show. Today, I’m going to give you scenes from three different plays. At the end of the week, we’ll vote on the best script and hold auditions on Monday.”
Calling on Kokoro to assist her in passing out the paperwork, Haruna-sensei added, “You should all find something you like. I’ve included Shakespeare, a Japanese folktale, and a modern-day script. Choose the one you think the audience will enjoy the most. I’ll give you the rest of homeroom to begin reading.” *—5
Quieting down to read, soon all that could be heard was the flipping of pages. Umino’s brows furrowed as he skimmed through the plays. Two of them were romances. Why would they do a romance at an all-girls school? They weren’t allowed to bring in any guys since it was their class’s assignment, right? Why give three choices when they’d obviously be choosing the folktale? He frowned thoughtfully and stared up at the ceiling. Perhaps Haruna-sensei wanted it to seem like they had a choice, but in reality, she’d already gone and decided for them?
After class, everyone began chattering excitedly while they waited for their math teacher Ichise-sensei to arrive. *—3
Usagi sighed dreamily as she clutched the scripts to her chest. “Haruna-sensei picked such romantic stories, didn’t she? I love Romeo and Juliet, but I’d rather do the other romance because it has a happier ending.”
Naru nodded. “Plus, everyone reads Romeo and Juliet in junior high, so it isn’t all that fresh or exciting.”
Turning in her chair to join the conversation, Kokoro added, “I’m shocked that Miss Haruna follows the popular manga trends. Sailor Moon is such a great story and we have the chance to perform it!
Usagi swooned and clutched at her chest. “Her boyfriend is so gorgeous, isn’t he? If only he were real! I’ve been styling my hair the way she does since the manga began. Everyone says I look Sailor Moon, so I hope I get to play her!”
Umino glanced from girl to girl, puzzled. Weren’t they forgetting something obvious? “We can’t do that show, though. There aren’t any guys to play the male parts.”
Usagi giggled. “Girls always play those parts here, silly. It’s kind of like how males always played female roles back when Shakespeare was alive.”
“But that was a long time ago.”
“Sure, but the practice still exists, especially at unisex schools.”
“Professionally, too,” Kokoro added. “Haven’t you heard of the Takarazuka Revue? There’s a theatre near here; we should go sometime. I think I remember hearing that the Moon Troupe is performing Elisabeth at the moment. Great show. My sister’s a member of the fan club, so I can ask her to see if there are any tickets left. Anyway, all the performers are female.” *—6
Umino was shocked that the girls were telling him something he knew nothing about. Granted, he wasn’t very theatre-savvy to begin with, but he prided himself on knowing a little bit about everything.
Turning to Usagi, he questioned, “Wouldn’t you be upset to get the lead and have to kiss another girl instead of a ‘hot guy’ like the one from the story?” Visions of her kissing another female suddenly sprung to mind and he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Maybe doing a romance wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all if he could see some free girl-on-girl action. Then again, while it would be an awesome sight to behold, his drool would probably give him away in an instant, not to mention certain other parts of his anatomy.
“Nah, we don’t really kiss, silly. We just turn our heads and fake it. It’s not so hard to pull off.”
“You’ve done this before?”
“I sure have. I’m in the drama club, after all.”
“That’s right, I’d forgotten.”
They chatted for a few more minutes before Ichise-sensei entered the room and began taking attendance.
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Friday came and went, and it was determined that Beautiful Soldier Sailor Moon would be the play performed by Class 2-2 during the Cultural Festival. The girls spent the weekend rehearsing, though in his case, Umino wanted nothing more than to work backstage, though he’d settle for a minor role. He’d decided that a villain might work because he’d get to wear a costume. He definitely didn’t want to play the heroine or one of her short-skirted friends. He’d never be able to wear all that spandex and continue to maintain the illusion of being female. Besides, he was already pulling off the role of a lifetime by pretending to be a girl, so he really didn’t feel the urge to practice his acting skills now.
By Monday, he was ready to fail the audition, unlike his classmates, who were treating the event as thought it were a matter of life and death.
Confident he’d done a bad job reciting the character lines and a good job grunting and groaning, he allowed himself to be dragged to the teacher’s room after school, where Haruna-sensei had posted the casting list outside the door.
Pushing her way to the front, Usagi let out a screech of anger. “No way, I’m playing Queen Beryl? This has to be a mistake. I don’t look like her at all.”
“No, but you’re the best actress in class.” Naru gave her an affectionate shove. “Besides, you still get to obsess over the guy. Who’s playing him, anyway?”
“Um...” The corner of Usagi’s tongue stuck out as she rose on tiptoe once more. “Whoa, you’ll never guess.” Her eyebrows rose in surprise as she turned to face her friends.
“Who, me?” Naru’s face drooped. “Why do I always get stuck playing the guy?”
“No, for once, it’s not you.” Usagi’s eyes fell speculatively upon Umino. “Umi snagged the honor this time.”
Umino blinked in surprise and lowered the bottle of water he’d been about to drink from. “Are you sure? I totally botched the audition.”
“Yeah, I double-checked. I guess Haruna-sensei knew you weren’t a bad actor. I mean, you normally do a good job when we read aloud in English class.”
“Yeah, but—”
“Eh, don’t worry about it. We know you’re really a girl.”
Umino smiled grimly. Would ‘pretending’ to be a guy expose everyone to the fact that, in reality, he was one?
“What about me, Usa?” Naru stood on her toes, trying to see over the crowd.
Being closer to the board, Usagi turned to look once more. When she turned back, her face was slack and her voice was higher than usual. “Naru, y-you got the lead. You’re going to play the role of Sailor Moon.”
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Cultural Note #1: Kimura Takuya is a famous celebrity in Japan. He has been in many TV dramas (of which Beautiful Life and Hero are probably two of his most famous roles), and he is also in the music group SMAP (from Johnny’s Entertainment), which, while not as popular as it once was, is still a pretty huge force to reckon with when they do release something these days. Ayumi Hamasaki is mostly a singer (one of the most famous female singers in Japan), but she has been in a couple of movies and dramas. You can check out more information on both singers at (www) wiki (dot) d-addicts (dot) com. I picked these two celebrities because they had a slew of stuff going on in the 1990s, but they’re still doing things today. I don’t really want to date this story too much, so if I pick people who have been around a long time, it can be a modern-day story or one from the real timeline, whichever you prefer. If I picked someone like Oguri Shun, even though he was acting in the 90s, he wasn’t famous yet, and not the eye candy he is today, so Usagi wouldn’t necessarily pick him. Also, I ALMOST chose Sawai Miyuu as an option because that was the actress who played Usagi in PGSM, but she hasn’t really done anything else outside of idol work, so again, I’d date it too much. ^_^
Cultural Note #2: Birth control isn’t as common in Japan as it is in other countries, but it’s becoming more popular with the younger sect. Even though it’s sold here now, there aren’t that many options for it.
Cultural Note #3: ~sensei is used when talking to a teacher. Like the above note, it is a position. In a school setting, if you were to say Takada-sensei, in essence, you are saying, “Mr. Takada.” Teachers are always addressed as such in Japan.
Cultural Note #4: Just like in other countries, a student’s homeroom teacher also teaches a subject. Also, in Japan, students don’t move from classroom to classroom. They stay in one class for the entire day. It is the teachers that go from room to room. There is one main Teacher’s Room where all teachers have their own desks.
Homeroom also (usually) lasts for a full period here and can be held at different times of the day, whereas in the USA, for example, it is first thing in the morning for a handful of minutes before classes begin for the day.
Cultural Note #5: Yes, even in Japan, students have to read Romeo and Juliet. Of course, it’s been translated into Japanese! Usually, the curriculum has them read this when they are third year junior high students, which is the same age as a ninth grader in the USA. (I’m not sure about other countries, sorry.)
Cultural Note #6: The Takarazuka Revue has five performing troupes that rotate through Japan. They have a huge fan-base, so tickets can be hard to come by, especially for more popular shows such as Elisabeth (originally a German musical). They also have a fan club, where fans have the first shot at buying tickets, among other things. The Revue is also popular outside of Japan, but it is harder and more expensive to get/find tickets, memorabilia, etc. You can Wiki it for more info. ^_^
Random Story Note: Believe it or not, there is a reason we call Haruna-sensei, well, Haruna-sensei. Many of you may not know this, but Haruna is actually the teacher’s FIRST name, not her last name. Much like in other countries, if a teacher introduces themselves by first name, that is what they wish to be called. This is even prevalent in a more formal country such as Japan. In Japan, it is mostly female teachers who do this, and it also done more typically with younger children, according to my friend Keera.
Author’s Note: Okay, I was THISCLOSE to having Umino play the role of SM b/c I thought it would be really funny. It would be too impossible to pull off, though. Also, I never would have had the idea if it wasn’t for a review from Ellen Kuhfeld. She wanted to see Tuxedo Melvin. Well, this is the next best thing. What do you think about what I’ve done with the idea? I’m really looking forward to the next chapter, and I hope you all will, too! (Plus, for those who like Mamoru, he’ll be putting in another appearance, as will Minako and Motoki. I hope you like the next arc, because I had a blast writing it! In fact, I think the next chapter is my absolute favorite so far.)
So, see? Sometimes, reviews really do matter! Let me know what you think and if you have any ideas, please. If I use them or get inspired, I’ll be sure to credit you the same as I did the fabulous Ellen Kuhfeld!
Like it? Hate it? I’m the one to talk to! Hit the little review button or e-mail ladybaine at gmail dot com today!
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