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Belong by Jessica Pendragon

The smoke clung to her onyx hair like an unwanted postcard of a place she'd rather forget. That night the air had been full of toxic clouds and acid-laced compliments at the illustrious political dinner. She had grinned and bared all the frilly conversation and incessant speeches like on so many occasions before, with a grace she inherited from her mother, and a cool smile she learned from her father. He sat across from her in the dark limo, his aging face sporadically lit by the passing streetlights. He hadn't thanked her for coming along, and she knew he wouldn't. He expected it of her, even after all this time.

The fine leather felt delicious against her exposed arms and welcomed her into its soft embrace. Her stomach was full on lobster and more appetizers she couldn't pronounce, making her feel sleepy and content. Every time she moved her golden sequence dress sparkled, and while they were killing her feet after four hours, she found it difficult not to admire the stylish pumps on her delicate feet. She never enjoyed such luxuries at the shrine. But a pointy spear continued to press relentlessly into her back, reminding her just where she was, and who she was with. How things never changed.

"I decided I am going to move," her father said into the stillness. She watched him closely, but his expression didn't change, and she didn't feel compelled to answer. She knew there would be more, and wondered what he was trying to convince her of now. "I've found a flat in the city close to work. I realized while the house might be beautiful, it is more than I'll ever need."

"I'm sure it costs just as much," she replied. "I hope your servants will understand."

"Yes, I will have to downsize my staff. It will be quite an empty place, but the house has felt that way since..." He trailed off, and with a dignified anger she dug her nails into her palms silently. She hated when he spoke or even mentioned her mother in any way, especially her death. He didn't deserve to speak her name, let alone think of her.

"I was hoping that you would move in with me now," he continued, the shock of his ridiculous request pushing away her anger. She was glad he was staring out the window and didn't see the surprise in her eyes. "The condo is much closer to your school, in the middle of the city...you could be in the middle of everything."

"I do not want to be in the middle of everything," she said as they finally reached the outskirts of the city and the extravagant car stopped smoothly by the sidewalk. Through the tinted glass she could see the familiar stone steps of her home, leading into the darkness of night above.

He turned to her then, searching her face. "Why do you feel you must stay here? It is not proper for a girl of your age and status. There is so much more you could have. This is a place for old men and lost, delusional souls. You do not belong here, Rei."

Since she was little, she felt she never truly belonged anywhere. Once she had loved her family, her father even, but then one fateful day had torn everything connecting her to this world away. Her own house became a graveyard, her remaining family became strangers as grief changed them all in different ways. She felt alone, worthless.

Here, it was not the same. She was apart of something ancient and special, something bigger than she could ever be. When she prayed to the fire, she felt connected to the universe, and when she finished her simple chores she felt accomplished. She was not a lost teenager with a troubled past here, nor was she a lonely child wishing her family was not so ravaged by fate. Up there, she was above everything; she was one with everything. She belonged. She would never give that feeling up, not until she could find something that could replace it. And his hidden agendas and truths he would never willingly admit to her would never be enough, even if she desperately wanted them to be. The door opened as the chauffeur finally came around, illuminating her lithe body and fierce eyes.

She looked in him in the face, challenging him and his words, challenging everything. "No, I do not belong with you," she countered coldly, much more coldly than perhaps she intended. For a moment, he looked injured, as if he truly could understand her secrets thoughts. But she would never give him the opportunity; never let him into her strange world. With as much elegance as she could manage, she stepped out of the limo and into the night without another word.


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