This hadn’t been the first time that our friendship became strained due to the sudden appearance of another guy. It was worrying me though; this had been happening much more often these days. It’d been hard, though. Ever since I entered high school, I felt an obvious gap begin to form. Nat and I never saw each other during the school day, and I had a completely different group of friends. I knew that the band hung out during lunch and in between classes.
Meanwhile, I was sitting in my high school world with my high school friends. It was bad enough that I was the only girl in the band. David and Thomas had yet to grow out of the “girls are gross” stage. At least Nat was always there to make me feel welcome. I couldn’t help but wonder, though. Why was I even there?
With two keyboardists, a guitarist, and a cellist, they would be fine without their bassist, wouldn’t they? I never knew the answer to that question, and I never asked. Some things were better left unsaid.
I couldn’t blame Nat for worrying about me. After the Bobby Love incident, I learned to trust his judgment a bit more, but after the prom incident, I also learned that Nat had unintentionally alienated me in his mind.
I always tried to keep our age difference from being an issue, even though it sometimes came up anyway. I had never realized, however, that Nat also found it to be an issue. After prom, he apologized for pressing me to go. He told me that he didn’t want to tie me down, but didn’t realize that he had been pushing me away. We forgave each other. Little did we know how much that moment would change us.
We became closer than ever, but I had never felt so alone. Nat had set me apart from everyone else – the last thing I wanted from him.
The media did little to help. After the Bobby Love incident, reporters, including Matt Pinfield, flocked around us constantly. Nat and I were always on the headlines, and they always managed to fabricate some story based on everything from a small smile to a supposed wink. This time, though, it was really bad. One of Matt Pinfield’s reporters had taken a picture of me laughing while talking to a relatively cute boy during our tour. The headline read, "ROSALINA, A FLIRT?"
The reaction was explosive. Newspapers ran, false eyewitnesses testified, and soon the public was hearing stories of some new boyfriend I supposedly had behind Nat’s back. Then again, Nat and I were never officially a couple to begin with.
That didn’t stop him from feeling betrayed, however. It usually took a lot for Nat to be swayed by the media, but there had never been a story so big before. Supposed witnesses were telling papers that I had been dating the boy for months and a false make-out video had leaked throughout the internet. That was obviously fake though, because the time and date that the video was taken was the same time as one of our concerts, which I had undoubtedly been performing at.
It was an uncomfortably silent bus ride. Everyone else had fallen asleep and Nat sat across from me, staring out the window. I was actually grateful for the silence; the last time we spoke with each other, all we did was yell and scream. An hour later and here we were, riding in silence to the next touring spot. My mind kept fumbling for the right words to say to make things right again, but I knew that nothing I said would turn things around. We’ve been fighting on and off for the past few months –sometimes without reason. This publicity folly was just another push in the wrong direction. Our friendship was fraying at the edges and I was scared.
All I could do was hope for the best. I had to trust in our friendship and believe that time will heal our wounds. I finally gave up on trying to speak with him and leaned back on my seat. As I closed my eyes to sleep, I saw in my mind a boy with unruly brown hair and sweet brown eyes staring back at me.
