Toilettes Are Your Friend
by papirini
"Am I not good enough?"
Usagi's head jerked up towards Seiya, her eyes filled with tears. It was hard enough to see the rose that reminded her of her true love, but knowing it was not he who threw it - knowing it was Seiya, whose only crime was that he cared too much - made Usagi want to break down. She didn't know anymore what to think, or what to say.
"Am I....not good enough?"
Suddenly, Usagi's eyes widened. He looked so sincere, so sad, and yet....even though he wasn't her beloved Mamo-chan, she knew she had a choice to make, a momentous one.
Not in the least because of the menu option and giant sparkly mouse pointer that popped up above her head. The words "YES" and "NO" appeared in large white font
"Um...." Usagi looked at Seiya, who was suddenly frozen in place, then looked back up and began to sweat. "Ok...let me get back to you on that one!" Then, shouting to seemingly no one in partiular as she rubbed her eyes, "This effectively pauses the game, right!? Because....I gotta go pee. Like a racehorse. Yeah...."
With that, Usagi ran off the roftop, leaving the frozen, melancholy Seiya and his broken rose alone with the mouse, which began to idly make circular movements around him and the rooftop out of sheer boredom. She really hoped the person playing the game could wait another five minutes for their closure.
Several minutes passed before the silence was broken.
"Usagi-chan!? Usa-"
The senshi burst in through another door, spotting Seiya knelt on the ground. Running over, Venus poked him, smirking when he didn't respond to her provocations.
"Seiya...?" Mercury looked up and saw the option table. "Oh my, it appears an option has come up. And not a very good one at that."
"Hahaha, he can't move!" With that, Venus began to rifle through his pockets. "Serves him right! Now lesee if he has anything worth selling..."
"Venus! That's not the way t-" Jupiter growled at the mouse, which started swirling around her head like a bumblebee before resting on her ponytail. "Hey! Get off me!"
"You think the rose is worth anything?" Mercury tilted her head. "I mean, this is a crucial moment..."
"No, it's not." Venus frowned as she came up with nothing but a handkerchief and a pack of Kit-Kats. "Blegh. No toilettes, not even any money, just this candy bar. Who wants one?"
"No thank you." Mercury blinked. "Why are you looking for toiletries, Venus?"
"Ok, seriously!" Jupiter swatted at the pointer. "Stop it! You're really annoying!"
"No, not toiletries, toilettes," Venus brought a finger up. "They refill everyone's health and magic! They're really expensive in the shops, so I've been searching everyone I've killed for those, or money to buy them. but they may come in handy during the final battle, yeah?"
"You...do realize what a toilette is, right?" Mercury scratched her neck. "It's basically a drapery you use when you get ready for the day."
"....I didn't." Venus smiled sheepishly as she unwrapped the candy. "But, um, it should still fit in my inventory, right? Since I bought extra space to pick up the plane we fought Aluminum Seiren on."
"....You actually acquired the plane?"
"Why not?" Venus popped chocolate into her mouth. "It could come in handy, like if we needed to travel somewhere! And maybe I can equip it with heat-seeking missiles or something."
".....Right, Venus." At this, Mercury rubbed her temples as she mumbled. "You go ahead and go that."
"I SWEAR!" Jupiter snarled as the mouse started poking her chest. "IF YOU DON'T STOP THAT-"
"Ok, I'm b-guys?" Usagi came back on the rooftop. "What are you doing here!? This is supposed to be me and Seiya only!"
"We came here to protect you, Usagi-chan," Mercury replied matter-of-factly. "After all, with everything that's happened...."
"I did just fine against Tin Nyanko! Seriously, did you guys see how much experience I got against her?" Usagi pouted. "Now, um, you guys, this is a really important decision so please, I would prefer not having hecklers."
"Important!?" Venus scoffed as she munched on the Kit Kats. "You know what happens if you choose 'NO', right? He says 'but I must be!' all melodramatically, and then you have to redo the choice over. And over. And over until you say yes. You can never say no because you have to say yes!"
"....That's a little stacked, don't you think?" Usagi frowned. "I mean, I love Seiya, but as a friend! End of story, everyone knows that! Or should! This silly option plane should not even be an option!"
"Chalk it up to all the rabid girls who think you look better with Seiya," Mercury shrugged. "Personally, though, I-"
"-JUPITER OAK EVOLUTION!"
There was a violent flash of lightning that suddenly lit the rooftop up with crackling bolts of electricity. The girls threw up their hands to cover their eyes, though thankfully the attack was brief. "HA!!" As the girls watched in horror, Jupiter went over to a smoldering hold in the ground and stomped on the charred remains of the mouse.
"Serves you right, pervert! HAHAHA!"
---
Seiya walked down the hallway, his face set in sad silence. Usagi had said yes, but there was little conviction, at least when it came to the real reason he'd asked. He wondered, with how much he loved her, if his feelings for her were as unrequited as the worried letters Usagi sent to Mamoru.
With a sigh, he winced as he felt a crick in his knees, and he went for his pocket. He blinked, then turned all his pockets inside out, confused.
He could swear he had a candy bar there.
