“You kissed my wife.”
Mamoru’s words were simple and factual. Normally one would assume the words were being directed at Zoicite who would have become excited over some new idea and then inevitably, in his excitement, done something that would have ended with him getting himself in trouble. Kissing another man’s wife wasn’t the usual result, but it wouldn’t be the first time either. Zoicite was particularly proud of the scar that he had on his arm from the one time….although to ask Jadeite, one would find the events less humorous.
All eyes were on Kunzite now, waiting for his response. After all, it wasn’t often that Kunzite would have done something of this magnitude warranting this type of response.
“Not really,” Kunzite muttered.
“It was pretty clear from my point view,” Nephrite chuckled. “Although I would have thought you had the best view of all.”
“I’m glad you’re all having a good time with this,” Kunzite responded.
“Really,” Zoicite spoke up on Kunzite’s behalf, rising from his seat. “I can’t believe that all of you are so focused on one little kiss. There are so many other things that we could be taking our time to discuss right now. Impending war between neighboring countries, the crisis going on in Darfur, starving children all over the world, greenhouse emissions….” a grin started to build on his lips, “the way Kunzite’s hand was strategically placed on Usagi’s backside,” he finished. “Really,” the seriousness returning to his voice, “the kiss was all you guys noticed?”
“Sit down,” Kunzite ordered from where he was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “Idiot,” he muttered underneath his breath. Jadeite, who was nearest to Kunzite, heard the comment and sniggered as Zoicite put on his best look of indignity and sat down in his seat, putting his feet up on Kunzite’s coffee table.
“You have to give us something,” Jadeite asked, trying to suppress his laughter.
“I thought she was Mina. They both had their back to me with that same ridiculous ponytail, and I’m sure anyone in my position would have assumed it was also Usagi that Mamoru was cleaning up. Although maybe I should be asking the question about what your hands were doing on my girlfriend?”
“Oh no,” Mamoru laughed from where he was seated across from Kunzite. “You’re not deflecting this one back onto me.”
“For a moment I wondered if you were going to take her right there,” Nephrite added, to which Kunzite rolled his eyes in response.
“So if that’s your normal greeting in public, I can only imagine how you say hello at home,” Zoicite chuckled. Kunzite put his hand up to his forehead and shook his head, feeling a migraine coming on and almost wishing that it would come on faster.
Kunzite glanced over at Jadeite who had remained silent. “You don’t have anything to add?”
“You don’t want to know what I’m thinking,” he responded, that dangerous glint appearing in his eyes.
“Seconded,” Zoicite answered, putting his hands up.
“I knew I should have started drinking before you guys got here.”
“You know, I’m not even allowed to kiss Usagi like that in public. If her father caught me doing that, even as her husband, I think my life would come to a tragically short end,” Mamoru said pointedly.
“It was a bet,” Kunzite finally answered, exasperated. “A stupid dare that she put me up to.”
The room suddenly became silent. Kunzite closed his eyes and waited, knowing that he wouldn’t be disappointed by their reaction. The silence was finally broken by what he assumed to be Jadeite sniggering again. Next came the sound of choked laughter that could only be Mamoru trying to restrain himself. After that came the full out laughter, none of the four other men holding back.
“You have to be kidding me,” Zoicite said between peals of laughter. “You let Minako talk you into a dare? The same Minako that nearly gave Nephrite a buzz cut and almost took off my eyebrows? Maybe you remember the pizza incident where Rei stopped talking to her for nearly a week? Then of course there was the fire that nearly burnt down Makoto’s apartment…. And let’s not forget that incident that Jadeite still refuses to talk about with the bottle, the waitress, and the police officer.” Zoicite earned a snarling glare from the aforementioned person.
“If anyone should know better, Kunzite,” Mamoru said, “it should be you. I like Mina well enough, but she is dangerous to anyone’s health if you give her carte blanche.”
“Tell me about it,” Kunzite said, opening his eyes and shaking his head pitifully as the laughter around him began to subside.
“Do you think she planned for this to happen?” Jadeite asked, scrunching his eyebrows together.
“You mean it’s not a coincidence that she made Usagi take down her Odango’s?” Mamoru asked.
“Mina’s not that diabolical….” Nephrite tried to insist. Although as he thought about it, his logic started to falter.
“You know, I thought it was odd that she practically threw herself onto my ice cream just before you showed up," Mamoru said.
“She is a criminal mastermind,” Zoicite said, eyes wide. “How do you sleep at night with the devil laying beside you?” he asked Kunzite.
“Mina has a tendency to hang herself in times like this,” Kunzite answered, a smiling pulling at his lips for the first time.
