Fred looked around the flat that he had always shared with his brother George above their store Weasley Wizarding Wheezes. It seemed so quiet, since George wasn’t around to make any noise. Fred just sat on the couch staring listlessly in to space. It had been over a week since he had gone downstairs to open and run the store. Two months ago business had been booming, but now his heart just wasn’t into his work. The nature of the store just didn’t fit in with the pain in his mind and heart.
Happenings from two months previous kept playing through his mind.
Nymphadora Tonks’ Patronus came into the shop that Tuesday afternoon. Death Eaters were attacking St. Mungo’s Hospital. Anyone that was available to help should Apparate into the normal entrances, ready for a fight.
Several Death Eaters were being held at St. Mungo’s since it wasn’t safe to transport them to Azkaban anymore. The Dementors surrounded Azkaban and were attacking anyone trying to get in, leading to the Aurors having to find other places to keep prisoners. Last week a team lead by Kingsley Shacklebolt had finally managed to capture Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange who were among those being held at St. Mungo’s. Someone high up at the Ministry had to be passing information to Voldemort, because very few people knew about the problems at Azkaban. Most of the Order of the Phoenix did, since McGonagall made sure they were kept well informed, but only Aurors and a few Ministry Officials knew the other secured locations.
Fred and George quickly locked up the shop and Apparated to the lobby of St. Mungo’s. Curses were flying everywhere, making the reception area even more chaotic then usual. Voldemort had evidently sent every Death Eater he had to free those being held there.
Fred and George ducked behind the welcome desk and took turns covering each other’s back. Fred saw Tonks and Remus Lupin fighting back to back across the waiting room, and indicated to George that they should get over and help them. George nodded, and they slowly worked their way across the room, firing hexes and jinxes at the Death Eaters as they moved. Halfway there, George tripped over some debris, but Fred was too intent on stopping two Death Eaters from hitting Tonks. He didn’t notice his brother was down, until he had made it to Tonks and Remus. He then turned to watch two curses hit his brother, one from either side.
“GEORGE, no!” Fred went dashing back across the room, stunning the Death Eater that had hit George last, before pain flashed through him and everything went black..
“Fred, are you there?” Angelina Johnson’s voice shouted from the fireplace in the kitchen.
Fred tried to ignore her, but finally walked into the kitchen to see what she wanted. “Yeah, what do you want?”
“We were supposed to have a date last night, but you never showed up. You weren’t at home, the shop, or the Burrow. Where were you?” Angelina was angry, but had real concern in her voice. “It isn’t like you to make a date and not show up. What can I do to help you?”
“I forgot about our plans. I’m sorry that you couldn’t find me, but I had some stuff to do. I need to go work on some products for the store. I’ll catch up with you later.” Fred turned and walked out of the room, before Angelina could say another word.
Fred had been avoiding Angelina for a little while now. He did remember actually planning the date with her for last night, but he had ended up getting side tracked and forgot. Last night was a little blurry to him. A lot of what had happened in the past few months blended together. As he thought about it, he thought he had gone to the Leaky Cauldron for a while, but he just wasn’t sure.
Fred knew he should be making some plans for the store, but he couldn’t get himself motivated enough to actually do anything. The thought of just closing the store and moving on to something else was forefront in his thoughts these days. The store had just lost the fun and charm it had once held.
Fred knew that Angelina would be on her way over here, so he Apparated to the Leaky Cauldron so he would be harder to find. She was just trying to help, but he wasn’t ready to face her or her anger at the moment.
Walking up to the bar, he ordered a Firewhiskey and downed it as soon as it was put in front of him. He quickly ordered another. Tom served him up two more, but then moved to a back room. Unable to get more, Fred stared into his empty glass. He could feel the fire of the whiskey move in his stomach like a mad dragon.
A witch just a few years his senior sat down next to him, and studied him for a moment. “Trying to feel alive, handsome? I know a few other things that could help you.”
Fred looked up in to brilliant purple eyes. The suggestion in her comment was very obvious; Fred needed to feel something. Two months is a long time to be numb.
Fred awoke to a pounding head and complete confusion. Where was he, and why did everything smell of potions? Groaning, he grabbed his head.
“He’s awake! Arthur, he’s going to be ok!!” Molly Weasley’s excited voice was next to Fred’s ear.
Quick steps came from across the room, getting closer.
“Fred, it is so good to see you awake. You’ve been out cold for almost a day.” Arthur grabbed Fred’s hand.
“What happened?” Fred waited for George’s voice to butt in, but it never came. “Why does my head hurt so much?”
Molly reached for his other hand, and squeezed it. “We’ll get a Healer to take care of that right away. They didn’t want to give you a potion for it until after you were awake.”
“You didn’t answer my first question, what happened? Why am I here? Where exactly is here?” Fred was getting agitated now.
“A stunning spell hit you while you were protecting the hospital, and they think you caught the edges of a few other spells. Remus was able to get you out of the thick of things, but no one could get you to wake up. The Healers said it was just a matter of time, but we didn’t believe them until now. You are on the spell damage ward in St. Mungo’s.” Arthur, finishing his explanations, cast Molly an anxious look that he seemed to think Fred wouldn’t see.
The battle was coming back to Fred now, and he remembered seeing George go down. “What happened to George? I saw him fall, spells hit him, and now he isn’t here. Where is he?” Fred almost jumped out of the bed, eyes scanning the ward for George.
Molly and Arthur both pushed him back down. That was when Fred realized they both had puffy, red eyes. It looked like they had both been crying.
Taking a deep breath, Arthur finally answered. “George is in the bed behind that curtain. The Healers can’t seem to figure out what curses he was hit with, like they could with you.”
No one could stop him; Fred jumped out of the bed and pulled the curtain around George back. Blood drenched dressings were wrapped around his chest and no color was in his face. He looked on death’s door.
Fred grabbed his hand. “Hang in there George. If anyone can pull through this, you can. You have to! Prove those Healers wrong.”
Fred found himself in a corner booth with the purple eyed witch. She had told him her name, but he couldn’t recall it. His arms were wrapped around her, and working their way under her robes. Her lips were doing tantalizing things to his neck, and he was starting to actually feel some emotions, though he was aware they were actually meaningless.
Suddenly the witch was pulled from his lap and flung across the room. She looked up from the floor in total surprise. It took Fred a moment to realize what had happened.
“Fred Weasley, what do you think you are doing? You reek of Firewhiskey and have some slut in your lap!” Angelina stood in front of him with fire flashing in her brown eyes. “I am your girlfriend, and I won’t put up with this behavior. For months you have been pushing me away. I don’t understand. I love you Fred, and I won’t let you do this!”
Fred looked at the fire and energy flashing around Angelina. Warmth and energy was what he needed back in his life, but how could he allow her in when George would never experience warmth or energy again?
Angelina pulled Fred from the booth. Walking past the witch who had finally gotten up off the floor and was brushing herself off, Angelina took him out into the alley. She hit the bricks that would get them into Diagon Alley and pulled him after her until she stood outside of his shop.
Unlocking the door, Angelina pushed Fred into the shop. “I know that this place represents your hopes and dreams. Why are you letting them slip away from you? The world will always need jokes and laughter.” Angelina stood studying his face. “You have always been very willing to provide that. Why are you pushing everything that gives you happiness away?”
Fred sighed and slumped up against the sales counter, unable to explain. Finally he looked up and met Angelina’s eyes. “I don’t deserve to be happy. This shop isn’t my dream. It was our dream.”
Fred sat for a few days next to George’s bed. He refused to leave the bedside for any reason. Molly and Arthur took turns sitting there with him. Bill and Fleur brought Ginny by a few times, but Molly insisted the hospital was no place for a girl her age to hang around. Charlie came home to take his turn by his brother’s side. Even Percy stopped by. Angelina was there, but left to eat and sleep. She always brought something for Fred, though Fred didn’t have much of an appetite.
Healers were in and out all day. Fred was constantly trying to get them to do something for George, but they all just looked at him with sorrow in their eyes. The looks got deeper everyday that went by.
One afternoon, Fred was dozing in his chair when he woke with a start. Something was different. He had no idea what was wrong until he realized that the thick silence of the room was no longer broken by the sound of George’s breathingf. Yelling for help, he jumped to his feet. Two Healers came and took a look.
After running a few spells, the elderly witch shook her head. “Sorry son, but he’s gone. There’s nothing we can do.”
Molly came running into the ward when she heard the commotion. Taking in the scene, it only took her one look to know what happened. Tears were streaming down her face, and she wrapped her arms around Fred, wailing. He just stood there in shock.
After a few moments, he pushed Molly’s arms away and walked in a daze from the room, down the hall, and eventually out of the building. No one tried to stop him because they knew he needed time alone to process this loss.
Angelina found him that night working frantically at the shop. He seemed to be his normal self, but she could tell he wasn’t alright. It was as if he were pretending George would be back in a few minutes.
“Fred, stop! George is gone. He isn’t coming back. You need to accept that fact or you will never be able to move on. George is dead!” Angelina grabbed his arms and made him face her. “Pretending is just that, pretend, it isn’t reality.”
Sighing, Fred finally stopped. Tears filled his eyes, and he turned his back on her. “I know, but if I don’t keep myself busy I’ll go insane. George isn’t just my brother, he’s my twin. I’ve never been without him. He is my other half, and NO ONE can change that. I have lost a part of myself and it will take me a while to deal with that.”
Angelina walked around so he was facing her again and she was relieved to see the tears rolling down his face. He was finally letting some of his emotions out, so she knew he would be okay. She just hugged him, letting him know he wasn’t alone.
Angelina left a little later, hoping that time alone in their shop would help Fred cope with his loss.
Angelina starred at him in disbelief. She finally realized what was going on, and she wasn’t going to let it happen.
“George is the one that died that day. You can’t blame yourself, and you can’t go with him. Think of your mom, dad, brothers, and sister. They have been worried sick about you, and shouldn’t have to worry about losing you too. That is very selfish of you. Think of what George would want you to do.” Angelina pulled him to the back of the store where they could sit across from each other.
“George would want you to live for him. He would want you to make this business thrive, and keep bringing laughter to others. The war isn’t over, and laughter is a rare thing these days.” She placed her hand against Fred’s cheek. “Your family isn’t alone in needing you. Harry, Hermione, Lee, and I need you.
Angelina paused to let Fred take in what she was saying. She kept desperately trying to catch his eye, but he wouldn’t let her. Then his eyes landed on a picture of George and him on the opening day of their shop. Angelina saw where his gaze landed.
I will quit my job at Quality Quidditch Supplies and come here and help you. I’m not the same as George, but I have done my share of jokes and I was good in Potions. Tell me what you want something to do, and I’ll do my best to help you make it.” Angelina searched his face intently to see if she had gotten through to him.
“I just don’t feel whole without George.” Fred looked at her with lost eyes. “I have never felt so completely alone before.”
Tears filled Angelina’s eyes. “Then I will stay here with you. You don’t have to be alone. I will do whatever is in my power to help you. Let me become your other half. Fred, I love you and I can’t lose you too! Other people cared for George; it isn’t just you who is hurting from that loss. I know you are his twin and had a closer connection to him then anyone, but you need to keep living if only for his memory. Don’t let Voldemort take another victim!”
Fred started sobbing, and Angelina pulled him into a tight hug. After a while, Fred finally calmed down and pulled back a little from her. Angelina gently wiped his tear streaked face and together, they went up to his flat.
Fred slept the night through with her arms wrapped tightly around him. It was the first time in two months that he could reach a truly refreshing and healing sleep. It was the first time he could dream…
Fred stood in the back of Weasley Wizarding Wheezes with George just a few feet away. They just gazed at each other, in one of the very few serious moments that had ever occurred between them. They had quarreled, they had joked and teased each other, they had just shared each other’s company, but they had almost never tried to convey serious thoughts and feelings to each other.
George was the one to break the silence. “I have been trying to reach you since I had to leave. You were fighting so hard to hurt yourself, you couldn’t hear me telling you to live and continue our dreams.”
Fred was at a loss for words. How do you say goodbye to the person that has always been a part of you?
George looked at him in understanding. “Angelina was able to tell you what I couldn’t get through to say. It is funny how she even used the words I intended to use. I do believe she is your soul mate. Let her complete you in an even more intimate way then I ever could. Build a future with her, and keep my memory alive.”
“I will never let your memory die. If I do, I will lose too much of myself. I don’t know how to go on without you, but I will try. I promise.” Fred finally responded. “I don’t know why you were taken from me, but I will get my heart back into the store as best I can. Laughter will not die as long as I am around to keep it alive.”
George closed the space between them, and gave Fred a warm and brotherly hug. Fred returned it.
As he disappeared, George whispered in Fred’s ear, “I will always be with you in your heart. Never forget.”
Fred woke the next morning feeling refreshed and closer to normal then he had been since losing George. He remembered the dream in every detail, and knew that George would always be able to visit in his dreams.
Angelina still had her arms around him, and her head rested against his heart. Fred wrapped his arm around her and realized he liked having her by his side. He wasn’t ready to move into too much commitment, but in time he knew he would ask her to marry him. She really did help make him feel more alive and whole then anyone else ever could.
Kissing the top of her head, Fred sighed in pleasure and closed his eyes just to enjoy the moment. Life could still be wonderful, it just took some work.
