Nymphadora Tonks had agreed to meet Molly Weasley at Hogsmeade for a meeting before all the students were released from classes at Hogwarts, where she was patrolling the grounds while the students celebrated their Valentine’s Day. Molly just wanted to check on her and make sure that she was doing okay. She constantly worried about her, and was even beginning to annoy Tonks with her chatter about how well Remus Lupin was looking, or how she should try to talk to Remus some more. Molly just didn’t realize that Remus had made it clear to Tonks that he did not want to see her, that they had no chance together because of his curse. Tonks saw it more as an inconvenience, but he would not listen to her. He wanted to protect her, but she kept hoping that someday he would understand that she didn’t care about what he became one night a month! He had the heart of a poet and was the best man she had ever met, despite his curse.
As Tonks Apparated into town, she was on her guard. She worried about an attack from the Death Eaters today, because the Death Eaters knew that students at the school liked to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Almost immediately, Tonks heard Molly calling her name from down the street. Molly was accompanied by Arthur. As Tonks approached them her heart suddenly leapt into her throat, because there, coming from the alley behind Arthur, was Remus. Tonks started to turn around and run when Molly was at her side holding her in place.
“I can’t believe you did this!” hissed Tonks to Molly.
“You’ll thank me for this someday,” whispered Molly right back.
When Remus had seen who Molly was greeting, he turned around as if to leave as well; Arthur took a firm hold of his shoulder.
“You are not going anywhere, my friend. I will never hear the end of it from Molly if you do!” said Arthur in Remus’ ear.
“Is this what you brought me here for today, of all days? It is hard enough on her that we can never be together! Why put her through this? Haven’t you seen the changes in her the last year?” argued Remus, referring to the dull look in Tonks’ eyes, the loss of her bright pink hair for a dull mousy brown color, and the lack of color in her face that accompanied her everywhere she went lately. Tonks had changed after she has realized she had feelings for Remus, and he had rejected her, because he couldn’t risk loving someone. He couldn’t risk having someone love him because then she would want to be with him. She would put herself in harm’s way every full moon because of the bite that had turned his life upside down when he was a child.
“Yes, I have seen the changes, that is why you are going to spend Valentine’s Day with the woman you love, while I spend the day with the woman I love,” returned Arthur. “Come along Molly, let’s go spend some quiet time together at home, we don’t get much time together any more!”
Molly and Arthur took each other’s hands and Apparated, presumably back to the Burrow.
“Ah…wotcher, Remus,” muttered Tonks.
“Hello, Nymphadora,” said Remus.
They stood there watching each other in an awkward silence for a few moments. Then they both heard the pop of someone Apparating near by; when they turned towards the sound with their wands drawn, they were both surprised to see Kingsley Shacklebolt standing behind them.
“It’s okay, Remus, Tonks! I’m not a Death Eater! Molly and Arthur mentioned to me what they were doing, thought I’d stop by and say hi to the two of you,” said Kingsley.
“Kingsley, don’t tell me you’re apart of this conspiracy, too!” said Remus with a bit of annoyance in his voice.
“No, Remus, I am not part of this conspiracy,” said Kingsley to the pair standing across from him. “I just thought I’d stop by and say hi to a couple of friends I haven’t seen in a while. Would you like to go to Madame Rosmerta’s for Butterbeer or two and catch up?”
“That does sound good. I have to go up to Hogwarts to patrol here in a bit though,” said Tonks to the two men standing with her.
“Well, why don’t I go and patrol a while for you, that way you don’t have to rush,” said Kingsley heading up the road to the school.
“I feel like I’m an awkward teenager again,” laughed Remus with a rueful smile.
“Me, too,” said Tonks, sharing the awkward grin, as they entered Madame Rosmerta’s.
Madame Rosmerta saw them enter and showed them to a corner booth in the back, away from prying eyes. Remus ordered two Butterbeers as they sat.
Remus sat and drummed his fingers on the table looking around the pub thinking about what he should say, what he should do. Tonks sat and busied herself by looking around and wiping off the table with a handkerchief she pulled from a pocket.
“I can’t stop thinking about you Remus,” blurted Tonks as she sat and fidgeted under his gaze.
Remus looked uncomfortable, shook his head. “I think of you almost constantly, too,” Remus finally admitted with an embarrassed grin on his face.
“I still don’t understand why you believe we can’t be together! I’m a woman and can choose for myself what risks are worth taking with my life! You may be a werewolf one night a month, but that is controllable with Wolfsbane Potion and no matter what you say, you deserve the chance to be happy!” Tonks exclaimed as she covered her face with her hands.
Remus sat there a moment before replying. Many emotions flashed across his face: love, despair, hope, and sadness. “You are a beautiful woman, but I don’t think you fully understand what I go through! My curse does not affect me just that one night! I am weak and sickly from the potion for days leading up to the full moon, and for several days after the full moon while recovering from my transformation,” explained Remus.
Tonks’ face dropped and her body sagged in her chair. Despair flashed in her eyes as tears started to flow down her face. “I am not a fool, Remus! I love! Don’t you understand that? I love YOU!” Tonks cried in a whisper that Remus had to lean forward to hear.
“Gentle heart all full of love,
Why can I not be content?
Struggling heart,
To protect that innocence,
Is what I yearn to do.
But alas, a curse is upon me,”
Remus whispered softly.
Tonks stared at him a moment, tears still running down her face. “That was beautiful,” she whispered.
“I wrote it not long after I realized that I love you, too. My beautiful, stubborn woman, what I wouldn’t do for things to be different, to be able to have you stay with me. I just do not know how to protect you from what I am. I can not control the wolf. I am out of control without the Wolfsbane. I would always fear injuring you. What if I forget to take the potion, or am unable to take it?” asked Remus. He remembered the time at Hogwarts when he was a professor there and had attacked Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley after he had forgotten to take the potion because he was distracted by a name scurrying across an enchanted map of the Hogwarts grounds. His life had changed that night, reborn hope that his faith in Sirius Black was not a mistake. Sirius had come back to his life that night, if only for a short time, but the cost was almost too much for Remus to bear. The mistake of forgetting the Wolfsbane had almost cost Harry, Ron, and Hermione their lives.
“I don’t fear you injuring me, Remus! I know your curse, I’ve read every book on werewolves I’ve been able to get my hands on. I’m safe with you because of the Wolfsbane, and that danger only occurs once a month. I can be your love every other night!” exclaimed Tonks. Anger was beginning to flash in her eyes. There was more color in her cheeks then he had seen in months.
Perhaps she was right. Maybe he could take the chance. He reached across the table and caressed her flushed cheek. Those beautiful eyes that lit up when they saw him filled his heart and he yearned to hold her, to caress her cheek forever more. Before he knew what he was doing her lips were pressed hard against his and his heart sang with joy.
After a moment they pulled apart as Rosmerta brought them their Butterbeers. Rosmerta winked at Tonks as she left the Butterbeers on the table. Remus quickly paid for the Butterbeers and turned back to Tonks.
“Wow!” whispered Tonks as her hair flashed bright pink for a moment, but then went back to the mousy brown it had been the last few months.
“Er, um, yeah,” agreed Remus. “I definitely feel like an awkward teenager now!”
“Me, too! Does that mean we have a chance, even if it is a small one, of being together someday?” asked Tonks.
“Yes, I have to admit there is a miniscule chance,” said Remus in a barely audible whisper. Just then a few other couples walked in the door, talking loudly. Remus broke eye contact with Tonks as he looked at his worn watch. “I, er, have to get back to the colony. The students will be out of classes soon at Hogwarts, too. You need to start patrolling the grounds,” said Remus as he took her hand and kissed the back of it. Then he stood and started to head towards the door.
“You’re right, Remus. Remember that I do truly love you, and you do deserve my love. Sirius and James would have been happy for you,” said Tonks.
He turned around with tears glistening in his eyes as he met hers. He quickly turned back towards the door and headed out into the streets thinking, I love you too, Nymphadora Tonks.
Tonks sat there a few more moments to pull herself together. She was remembering the kiss, memorizing the feel of his lips against hers. She did not know if there would ever be more moments like that, but she hoped for them! She took a few more deep breaths before going out to patrol the grounds of Hogwarts.
