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Shadows of Psyche by Papirini

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~crossing the rubicon~




I remember the day we became sailor soldiers.


"I don't want to go, mother!"

"You must."

"Must we?"

"Yes...."


Our mother stood there, her long dark hair flowing to the ground, her tall body wrapped in ermine and stars. That she had been blessed with a child, she would say, was a gift unparalleled to one like her, but to have twins was unbelievable, though we heard she had been given children before us, children who were long gone to her. Still, we were blessed in our youth, and wanted for nothing. But little did we know what our true calling would be when we reached the age of maturity, when we abandoned our identities of youth.


"I'm scared." I hugged my mother tightly. "I don't want to leave!"

"I don't want to let you go." She hugged be back, just as tightly. "But I must. It is my duty to let you go, just as it is your destiny to leave me."

"But...."

"Be strong." She let go of me, and bowed down. "Both of you, be strong. Become strong sailor soldiers, and protect the twin planets."


At this, she brought her hands into her dress, and presented to us two wands. Gilded with gold, one was green, one was mauve. Instinctively, we took one of the wands, unsure on the outside as to how we knew which one to take.


"My children...." Our mother's dark eyes were filled with tears as she stood up. "Before you use your wands to transform, and leave me forever, you must promise me one thing."

"What is it, mother?"


A small gust of wind blew through the windows of the room, surrounding us like a circle. Our mother's tears became sparkles, flying away like little stars as she looked at us.


"You must never open the door....”




“Uugh!!”


The ground trembled violently as Mnemosyne's hand grabbed onto the rock. With a grunt, she crawled up to the peak of the mesa, landing on her knees as she did so.


“L...lethe.....”

“It's here.”


Lethe wiped the blood from her arms as she looked down into the broken valley. It was almost as she remembered, though it was stripped of everything; the fog was still there, concealing the valley like a shroud. It had been several days' journey to reach the forbidden place. It was several days of great hardship, as the two watched the remnants of Mnemosyne's world crash into Lethe, felt the quakes as they came with an ever-increasing intensity, and walked through the bare rocks and wasted landscape of Lethe during their journey.


It was hard for Lethe to look at, to see the fruits of Galaxia's work.


“It's not far now.” Mnemosyne looked down into the valley worriedly as Lethe spoke. “Amazing. There's a very powerful magic here if the fog remains here, even after my world was destroyed.”

“Sister.....I'm scared....” Mnemosyne grabbed Lethe's hand. “We don't have to do this. There must be another way.”

“And how do you think I feel?” Lethe looked away. “Do you think I'm not scared?”

“...I don't know...”

“....Come on. Keep with me.”


Lethe grabbed Mnemosyne's hand and began down the mesa. She remembered the road from that distant battle, even though it had been so long ago; the road was still there, though it crumbled underneath their feet. Looking back on their road, Mnemosyne almost thought that the road behind them was crumbling on purpose, as if to prevent them from going back. She began to shiver.


“Keep going!” Lethe grabbed her arm more tightly. “The planet is becoming more unstable.”

“Sister....”

“We must cross the two rivers.” Lethe began to walk more swiftly. “It starts somewhere after the fog. We must be careful – it's very dense.”

“But Lethe...!”

What?”

“We have no way to get across! No boats, nothing to ferry us!”

“We still have a way.”

“But you can't swim!!”


Lethe looked uneasy for a moment at this; it was at times like this that she didn't need her sister to remind her of such things, especially in such a moment of desperation.


“I don't care.” Finally, hoping that she did not look too afraid, Lethe simply shook her head. “Besides, I don't remember the water being too deep. I'm sure we'll be fine.”

“But Lethe-”


Mnemosyne's protest was cut off when another quake suddenly shook the ground. This one was very strong, powerful enough to cause the largest crags to sway. It also caused Mnemosyne to lose her footing, and she tumbled head first down the ledge of the path.


“AAAH!!”

“Sister!!”


Lethe made a lunge for her partner's hand, but it was too late. The girl tumbled thirty feet off the side before hitting the ground hard, crying out as she did. Then she lay still.


No!!!!

Instincts of childhood long forgotten kicked in. Lethe instantly jumped down right from the ledge onto the ground, falling to her knees as she dove towards Mnemosyne, who gave a weak moan.


“Mnemosyne....”

“I'm....I'm ok.” Blood trickled from a small cut on Mnemosyne's forehead as she looked up at Lethe. “Ugh...”

“Sister, I'm...sorry....” Lethe quickly brought Mnemosyne's head onto her lap. “I shouldn't have rushed you. And...there's nothing here to bind your wounds...”

“It's ok.” Mnemosyne started wriggling away from Lethe. “Let's just keep going.”

“Wait.”


Lethe quickly took a hold of her skirt and gave several tugs at it. The fabric gave away, and Lethe rubbed it onto Mnemosyne's head, wiping the dirt away. The younger girl gave a gasp at this, and attempted again to squirm off, but Lethe quickly caught her by the neck, forcing her to stay put as the wound cleaning was finished.


“Mmm...” Mnemosyne shut her eyes tightly to suppress the tears. “Ow...”
“It's the best I can do.” Lethe let got of her neck. “I'll give you a few minutes, but then we have to go.”

“I know....”


The ground began to rumble once more. It was not as terrible as the last, but the two girls still felt it. Each time the ground shook, they knew the planet was one step closer to being completely ripped apart.


“.....I'm scared.” Mnemosyne looked up. “The pieces of my world are coming in closer than ever.”

“We can't be scared.” Lethe stood up, holding her twin's hand. “Not yet. We can't stop until we get to the door.”

“Lethe, do you truly want to do this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe....we can leave.” Mnemosyne looked down. “Leave this planet. Maybe....maybe there's a world we can look for.....that needs us....we don't need to go through with this.”

“And how do you plan on getting to these planets?” Lethe shook her head. “You silly girl. We don't have that kind of power.”

“Then...we have no choice?”

“This is our choice.” Lethe looked towards the fog. “Let's go, if you want. If not, I'll go alone. I'm not forcing you.”


Lethe began to walk, but stopped when she saw that Mnemosyne had not followed. She pondered whether her decision was the right one; perhaps Mnemosyne was correct, and there was power somewhere to get them off the planet. Perhaps there was another way.


She turned to talk to her sister, and instead saw her sister following, a sad, nervous smile on her face.


“I....I'm coming....” Mnemosyne nodded. “I won't abandon you, no matter how scared I am.”

“.....Thank you.” Lethe felt something of relief when she saw her sister. “I won't forget this.”


With that, the two held hands once more and began to walk towards the fog. Somehow, it seemed to Mnemosyne as if the fog was coming towards them as much as they were going towards it. Either way, it didn't matter; within a matter of minutes, they were within the fog.


“Keep holding my hand.” Mnemosyne could not even see her sister, as the fog was so dense. “I'll look for first river. It's not very wide, so it won't be a problem?”

“Are you sure?”

“....Just keep holding my hand.”


Mnemosyne could not help but be scared. The fog was so dense, and so humid, that she was already wet from it. The intensity of the fog burned her eyes, and with her free hand, she had to keep continually rubbing them in order to ease the pain.


“Stop.”


Mnemosyne froze as the world began to shake again. She felt something cold splash onto her toes, then recede, then felt a more violent splash thrown up to her ankles. She knew they were at the bank of the first river, but it didn't make her feel any better about the situation.


“Keep holding my hand....” Lethe began to move into the water, and Mnemosyne slowly followed. “Keep holding my hand....”


The water was far colder than Mnemosyne had anticipated, or wanted it to be. She gave a gasp as the ice hit her; unfortunately, Lethe was not giving her any time to pause and absorb the shock; she kept going, making it next to impossible for Mnemosyne to keep up with her.


“Uh.....mgh!” Both girls were neck deep in the water when Lethe finally spoke. “We're....nuh....we're almost there.”

“L-le.......ethe....”

“Hurry.....b...before you get...frozen.”


Lethe took in several sharp breaths to compose herself, to keep her focus, before she lost it. She felt Mnemosyne's grip slipping, even though she knew she was holding on very tightly. The memories of the foggy valley did not include the water being so damning. Without the warm sustenance and protection of the normal atmosphere that had been long stripped by Galaxia, however, the water became exposed to the far colder reaches of outer space, making it a potential death for the two of them.


Why did I.... Lethe shut her eyes. It can't be long....there can't be much more. Just....a little......more.....


Just when she thought that even she could no longer stand it, she finally felt the water level lower down her torso and, with relief, she managed to drag herself and Mnemosyne to the edge of the river, and they both tumbled to the ground, gasping and shivering violently.


“Oh.....god........” Mnemosyne was almost doubled over with pain. “Lethe.....si-sister.....”

“.....One....more.” Lethe wiped the water from her eyes as best as she could, though it made no difference with no visibility to begin with. “One more.”

“Please.” Mnemosyne grabbed Lethe shakily. “Just a...moment to warm ourse-selves....”

“Time.”

Please. We'll d...die if we don't.”


Lethe grimaced at Mnemosyne's words. There was no time to spare for rest; they had already wasted too much time on rest, and the quakes were becoming more and more violent by the minute. On the other hand, Lethe knew that if the water was as cold in the second river as it had been, they surely would die if they did not stop to let themselves warm up.


“...Here....” Mnemosyne drew herself to Lethe, pressing herself tightly against her partner's quivering body. “Please. We need to warm up.”


Lethe shook as Mnemosyne's hands touched her back; they were very cold, even colder than her entire body. Yet something kept her fast; perhaps it was the realization that Mnemosyne really was the only person left. Or perhaps it was the instinct that Galaxia so hatefully preached – that all sailor soldiers gathered together for power, drawn by the warmth of their fellow woman's sailor crystal and its power.


The latter, which Lethe may have believed at one time, seemed to be hallow to her now, for she knew it wasn't for Mnemosyne's power that she stayed with her, as her former master had constantly spouted. That Mnemosyne could feel the powers of others' sailor crystals far better, was most likely true; Lethe knew how empathic her partner was, and how it was Mnemosyne's sympathy, rather than Lethe's natural coldness, that had eventually cost them their lives. But even then, Lethe could not believe that they simply stuck to one another for the sake of power, especially not after meeting the one known as Sailor Moon.


She....is my sister....


“D-do you remember.....”

“Huh...”

“Wh-when we were kids.” Mnemosyne buried her head into Lethe's bosom. “We used to cuddle just l-like this. Wh-when all the other ch-children made fun of us, and we...we would go into our s-secret hiding place.”

“....Yeah.” A spark of memory from a time long since buried came back to Lethe. “I used to tell you scary stories.....”

“About th-the shadow in the basement.” Mnemosyne closed her eyes and smiled. “I was so scared....and then we found out....it was a m-mouse.”

“I remember...” Lethe sighed. “There are many things I still remember, sister.”

“Then do you remember....the others?”

“....the others....”


Lethe looked down at Mnemosyne's barely visible head as she remembered. The others had been other river guardians, recruited by Galaxia to guard Shadow Galactica. There had been four soldiers before Lethe and Mnemosyne's arrival, who guarded the two outermost rivers; all had died by Galaxia's hand for various treacheries when the twins arrived, and their rivers dried up upon their deaths, resulting in the creation of the desert that ended up separating Galaxia from her enemies.


Only one had ever successfully crossed the desert.


“Maybe....their planets ended up better than ours. Maybe theirs were not torn by war when Galaxia-sama met them.” Mnemosyne looked out through the fog, as if she was trying to visualize their faces. “Do you think, maybe, we will meet them again one day?”

“I don't know where their planets are.”

“....Neither do I.”


They were silent again for a moment at the thought of seeing other faces, let alone faces from the past, again. Many thoughts went through both of their heads regarding their current actions, remembering the forbidden act they were doing.


They had been warned by their mother to never go through the door, let alone to ever seek it; it had been her one request to them before they had left her side forever. When they left, a place which not even Mnemosyne could remember the name of, not even their deaths had been a fear for their mother; all she talked of was the door, a door carved in stone which would lead them to something terrible that she didn't explain.


She had died, shortly after they had left. Or she had left the planet. The truth was that once Lethe and Mnemosyne received their twin guardians, their dark-haired mother had simply disappeared. Neither girl was certain as to what had really happened, because no one ever told them the complete truth about their mother. All they ever received was an indifferent courier telling them their mother was gone, but he did not say what he meant by that. They could only ever wonder, if they even had time to wonder, what it all meant.


“....Mnemosyne.”


There was a distant rumble underneath them. Lethe's wandering mind returned to the situation at hand, and she wriggled out of Mnemosyne's hold. Mnemosyne stayed on the ground for a moment more ad Lethe stood up.


“We have to go.” Lethe started moving her arm around to catch Mnemosyne's hand. “We have to hurry.”

“I know.....”


After some more flailing, the two finally found each other's hand, and Lethe pulled Mnemosyne up. They held on tightly as Lethe's instincts led them on, and slowly, they began to walk on.


“Just one more river.” Lethe held on so tightly that Mnemosyne would have seen her arm turn white from the loss of circulation if she could see. “Then, we'll be there.....we're almost there.”


Mnemosyne gave a gasp as her feet touched the cold water. It was even colder than the previous river, and worse, the next step found the water near Mnemosyne's knees. Mnemosyne began to shiver with fear again, and she didn't find it too implausible to think that Lethe was also shaking slightly.


This river....is steeper...!


“C-come on!” Lethe grit her teeth as she threw Mnemosyne to the front, shocking her even more. “We've got to swim.”

“Sister....” Mnemosyne gulped as she felt her feet flailing for ground. “B-but you can't swim....”

“T-teach me.”

“I.....”


It wasn't that Mnemosyne didn't know how to swim herself. She did, and she had to know, because her world was filled with streams and rivers. Many people had to be rescued when they were having troubles in them – and she was the one to save them. She also knew how to have someone hold onto her when she swam, but when she tried to bring Lethe over to her, Lethe simply tried to pull away.


“S-sister?!”

“Just lead me.” Lethe took quick breaths. “J-just tell me what to d-do.”

“....Ok.....” Mnemosyne began to paddle. “I'll p-paddle my arms. You k-kick with me. Ok-k?”

“.....Ok....”


The next thing Mnemosyne knew, Lethe's legs scissored up from the water and slammed back down, creating a huge splash. The cold water hit Mnemosyne's face, and she gave a cry as Lethe continued to thrash around her legs wildly, not realizing that Mnemosyne had not even started swimming yet.


“N-n-no!!!” Mnemosyne shouted. “No, you're d-doing it wrong!!”

“Huh?”

“J-JUST...” Mnemosyne couldn't help but giggle a little. “W-wait for my call. Th-then st-start, but keep your f-feet underwater so w-we can go faster.”

“Ok.” Lethe sounded exasperated. “Just let's h-h-hurry! It's getting c-cold.”


With that, the two began the swim, with Lethe kicking alongside her sister. It was unbearably cold, and deep; Mnemosyne could tell that it was far deeper than the first river, and far wider. It had only taken three moments to cross that river, though it felt an eternity. The new river was far more of an eternity, with no end in sight. Worse, they were swimming against the current, which almost halted their progress to nothing.


As a result, the minutes seemed to pass by even slower the second time, and Mnemosyne could feel the stinging pain from the cold turn into a tingling itch, and finally into an aching numbness that was fearful to have. She began to slow down somewhat, though she did not realize she was doing it.


“Mn....mnemosyne!”

“....L....” The words felt heavy on her mouth. “Wha...”

“W...we're slow....”

“Le.....lethe....” Mnemosyne felt herself slipping. “”Too....cold....”

“Mn....mne-”


Lathe's words turned into a scream when the howling roar suddenly filled the air. The water suddenly careened forward, covering them within the water and shocking their systems.


Too.... Lethe experienced violent whiplash. cold......


The wave lasted only an instant. The levels suddenly lowered drastically, flinging the two down to the floor of the river. The two gasped as they saw the giant black shadow in the distance, even in that fog, lodged straight into the river. Turning to their left, they began hobbling as fast as they could in the near knee deep water, hoping, perhaps, that there would be an end to the madness, that the door was just within their blind reach.


“Run.....” Lethe stumbled, but quickly jumped back up, keeping Mnemosyne's hand in hers. “Run!!”


Then, the giant crest of a wave overshadowed the rock.


RUN-


The water hit like two tons of bricks. Neither girl expected it to come so quickly, or to come so violently. The next thing they knew, they were underwater and their partners' hands were gone, violently ripped apart by the new menace. They tried to scream, but the water prevented them; they kept their hands outstretched, as if just doing that would save them.


But it did not save them the last time they died, and as the two of them began to slip into consciousness, they knew such a gesture would not save them now.



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