Where's Ranma?
By Kevin McHorney
One summer morning:
Ryoga crept along the wall of the Tendo dojo keeping as silent as a leaf in the air. From the other side of the wall he heard Akane yelling and the dull thudding of fists hitting a yielding surface. "So they're fighting again" he said to himself. "I wonder what Ranma did to her this time. Not that it matters." Ryoga jumped into the air, pulling his umbrella out as he flew through the air. "Ranma! Prepare to die!" he shouted as he passed over the wall. He landed in a fighting stance and whipped his head around in confusion; Ranma was nowhere to be seen. Akane, however, was standing nearby in her yellow gi, staring at him. Nearby was an abused practice dummy that bore a small resemblance to Ranma.
"Ryoga?" Akane asked. "What's wrong?"
"Whe..where's Ranma?" Ryoga asked, still looking around. "I heard you fighting."
"I was just practicing," Akane said, "I haven't seen Ranma all day." Akane thought for a second, then shrugged, "I don't have any idea where he is."
"That's just like Ranma to run off and not tell anyone." Ryoga rose from his crouch, his fist clenched. "Ranma," he called out to the empty air, "I won't let you get away with this." He then leaped back over the wall and stormed down the street. Akane sat watching him for a second then turned her attention, and her aggressions back to the practice dummy.
Later that day:
"Nihao," Shampoo called as she entered the Tendo Dojo...by jumping over the back wall. She looked around, while carefully balancing the box of ramen she was carrying. The only person she saw was Akane. Akane looked up from the brick she was about to pulverize, "Oh, it's you. What do you want?"
"Shampoo looking for Ranma. Dutiful wife bring lunch." She looked around again before turning her attention back to Akane. "Where Ranma?" she asked.
"I don't know," Akane said, sticking her nose in the air, "why should I keep track of that jerk."
"Humph," Shampoo snorted, "Well you see Ranma, tell that Shampoo is looking for him." With that Shampoo hurdled back over the wall. Doesn't anybody use the door? Akane thought to herself.
That evening:
Akane and Nabiki were returning home from a shopping trip when they heard a strange, high pitched laugh wafting down the street from the direction of their house. Oh no, not another one, Akane thought, a look of disgust crossing her face. Nabiki looked at her sister and, noting the expression on Akane's face asked, "What is that."
"Kodachi Kuno." Nabiki raised an eyebrow at her sister. "Upperclassman Kuno's sister. She's always casing after Ranma. I'm sure she's with him now."
"Why you almost sound jealous Akane," Nabiki said with a slight gleam in her eye.
Akane stepped back as if slapped. "Me? Jealous of that pervert? Never." She folded her arms and turned away.
"Whatever you say, Akane." Nabiki listened for a moment, "Is it just me or is the laughing getting closer." Akane stopped and listened too. A second later Kodachi burst into view from the direction of the Tendo Dojo, rose petals and ribbons fluttering in her wake.
She stopped and leveled her finger at Akane, "You there," Kodachi said, "Akane Tendo, what have you done with my darling Ranma?"
Akane set her hands on her hips and thrust her chin out, "What makes you think I did anything with him. If you're so eager to see him why don't you go find him."
"I was just at his house.."
"Whose house," Akane said archly.
"..But he wasn't there," Kodachi finished, not hearing Akane's rebuke. "Tell me where he is," Kodachi's voice took on a more threatening tone.
"I don't know where he is. I haven't seen him all day," Akane said, subconsciously bringing her foot back and her arms up in a fighting stance.
Nabiki looked between the two girls, "Ladies, ladies. I'm sure Ranma's just out somewhere. Why don't you try the Cat Cafe, he can be found there sometimes."
"Hmm, the Cat Cafe," Kodachi said to herself, "Yes I should have thought of that." She leaped into the air, her laughter, not to mention hundreds of black rose petals, following her into the night.
"Nabiki, I could have taken care of her myself," Akane said.
"Yes, yes. Is it true you haven't seen Ranma all day?"
"Huh, no, I haven't seen him since yesterday. I was searching for P-Chan and Ranma made some stupid comment. So I hit him."
Nabiki narrowed her eyes for a second, "I'm sure he'll be back tonight. It's not like him to run away."
"Run away?" Akane asked, perplexed.
"Yes, I'm sure he didn't just get tired of everything you put him through and just leave for good." She paused for effect. "Not that I would blame him if he did."
That was enough for Akane. She turned on her heel and walked away from Nabiki, her nose in the air, "I don't care if I ever see that jerk again."
Nabiki smiled quietly to herself and followed Akane home.
The next morning:
Akane was reading out by the pond when she heard a knock at the door to the house. "Akane," Kasumi called from the kitchen, "could you get that for me please." Akane sighed and grumbled to herself as she got up and opened the door.
Standing in the doorway was Upperclassman Kuno. He was holding his bokken in one hand and a challenge letter for Ranma in the other. "Ah, Akane Tendo, it is a breath of fresh air to see you on such a fine summer's day. Where is that villainous Saotome? I have a message for him."
Akane shook her head, "I'll go get him, he's still sleeping." Great, just what I need this morning. Why do I end up with all of Ranma's visitors? She opened the door to the room Ranma and Genma shared, but Ranma wasn't there. Neither of the beds had been slept in last night. That's odd, she thought, I wonder where he is. Akane remembered Nabiki's words from last night. No, she thought, I'm sure that's not it.
She went downstairs to where Kuno was kneeling at the table. "I'm sorry, Ranma's not here. Have you seen him in the last couple of days?"
"No, I haven't. No doubt he felt that I was coming to challenge him and he ran like the coward he is." Akane raised an eyebrow at this but Kuno continued, "I feel we may never be cursed with the evil Saotome's presence again." He paused as he stood up, "nevertheless I shall find him, for there is still unfinished business between us." Kuno turned and ran out, leaving Akane staring. She shook her head again and went back to her book.
Two days later:
The entrance to the Cat Cafe loomed before Akane, from inside came the usual noise of the lunch crowd. Akane could also hear Shampoo and Cologne's voices as they talked above the crowd. Akane almost turned away, but she was starting to worry about Ranma, little as she wanted to admit it to herself. It had been three days since she had seen him, and in that time he hadn't slept in his bed once. When she checked his room this morning his pack was gone, so was Genma's. Akane went looking for her father to ask him if he knew where Ranma was, but her father was missing too. When Akane had asked Kasumi, she said that their father had gone of with Mr. Saotome and didn't know when he would be back. Kasumi did add that their father looked a little worried when he left.
Akane pushed all of this out of her mind, it's probably just an innocent misunderstanding. But what if he really did leave. She walked into the cafe.
Shampoo instantly turned to greet the new visitor, "Nihao," she started to say, but then she recognized Akane. "Oh is you," she said contemptuously, then her face brightened noticeably, "Is Ranma coming?"
Akane started to retort, but decided against it, "Shampoo, have you seen Ranma?"
"No," Shampoo said. "Is missing?"
"I haven't seen him since before you tried to bring him lunch a few days ago."
Cologne bounced over on her staff, "Did I hear you say that Son-in-law is missing?" Akane nodded. "Come, sit and tell me everything." She turned her head towards the kitchen, "Mousse, bring me a ramen." Mousse came out of the kitchen grumbling something about slavery. He started to set the bowl on an empty table but Cologne smashed him on the back of the head with her staff, "Over here, fool."
Mousse settled his glasses on his face looked at the empty table, then looked at the Akane, Cologne and Shampoo. "Oh, hello Akane," he said as he set the bowl in front of her and wandered back into the kitchen. Akane told her story to Cologne and Shampoo while eating the ramen.
After she had finished Cologne sat and thought for a second, "You're right, it doesn't seem right for him to just run away. There is always the possibility that something happened to him. Perhaps your father and his father took Son-in-law's pack with them while looking for him. If something did happen to him there might be some word here in Nerima. You might want to try looking around the city."
"Thank you, I never thought of that." Akane stood. She paused, "What do I owe you for the ramen?"
"That one was on the house," Cologne said. "Just be sure and let me know if you hear from him."
"OK, I will, and thanks for the ramen." Akane left the restaurant.
After Akane was gone Cologne turned to Shampoo, "perhaps you should go and look around too Shampoo. The lunch rush is over so I can handle the restaurant myself."
"Thank you Great-grandmother, I go find Ranma."
"Good, and take Mousse with you, he might have some use."
Shampoo's face fell, "Ok, if must." She went into the kitchen. There was some crashing followed by a splash. Shampoo came out of the kitchen carrying a duck. "I go now," she said. The duck just quacked.
Cologne watched Shampoo and the duck leave. "I meant to take Human Mousse," she said to herself.
Later that day:
Akane had searched the entire city, but nobody had seen even a slight trace of Ranma. She was about to give up when she heard a familiar oink from around the corner. She walked around the corner and found P-chan sitting there, wandering around in circles. "P-chan!" she exclaimed. The pig looked up and kwee-ed as it ran over to her. "Poor baby, what are you doing out here." The pig just sighed in an incredibly human-like fashion and snuggled up to Akane. "I'll take you home. I was just about to give up on finding Ranma." On hearing his hated rival's name the pig growled, or as much of a growl as a pig can emit. Akane looked down at her pet, "I know you don't like Ranma, he's always picking on you. But it would be boring here without him." The pig squealed in protest, but Akane wasn't paying attention, her eyes had a far away look to them. "And if he was gone..." She shook her head, "Never mind, let's just go home, it's almost dinnertime. She never noticed the worried look on the pig's face.
When she got back home, Kasumi called to her from the kitchen, "Oh Akane, you had some friends come over while you were out, they're waiting for you in the dojo."
"Who would come by?" Akane wondered to herself as she walked to the dojo. She opened the door and found Kuno and Kodachi sitting inside. She jumped back, startled. "Wha, what are you two doing here?" When the pig saw the visitors, he jumped out of Akane's arms and ran back towards the house. Akane ignored him and focused on her visitors.
Kodachi spoke first, "I've heard that you are searching all day for my beloved Ranma, what has happened to him?"
"I don't know what's happened to him, if I did why would I be searching?" Akane looked at Kuno, "Why are you here, I can't imagine you being worried about Ranma."
"I came with my sister because I was curious what fate had befallen that cretin." Akane glared at Kuno and took a step towards him, but Kodachi reacted first and hit him in the head with a club. Kuno looked at his sister, "That hurt, you know." Kodachi bopped him again for good measure.
Akane was still incensed, "I don't know what happened to Ranma."
Akane heard a voice from behind her, "You still no find Ranma?" Akane turned and saw Shampoo and Mousse standing behind her.
"What, why are you here Shampoo?" Akane asked.
"I also look all day for Ranma, but no find any trace. I come to dojo to look." Shampoo looked over at Kuno and Kodachi, "They look for Ranma too?"
"Akane," everyone turned to watch as Ryoga entered the dojo. He was followed by Nabiki. "I don't know why you're so worried about him," Ryoga continued. "If he left we should just forget he existed and go on with our lives." Kuno and Mousse looked thoughtful as they pondered this, but Kodachi, Shampoo and Akane glared at Ryoga.
"I was right," Nabiki murmured to herself, "this is interesting. Then, louder, "Ranma's been gone almost a week, and it doesn't look like he's coming back. If you ask me, I'm surprised he stayed as long as he did, with all the abuse he takes around here," Nabiki said, turning towards the door. "Ta ta everyone," and with that, she left the dojo. Everyone else sat and just stared for a second.
"It your fault Akane," Shampoo said with a hiss. "You always so violent to Ranma."
Akane glared back at Shampoo, "Yeah, well he always deserves it. At least I don't grab on to him in public."
Akane stopped as Ryoga put his hand on her shoulder, "Calm down Akane, we're better off without him anyway."
"Better off without my darling Ranma?" Kodachi said, in shock. "You take that back," she said stalking towards Ryoga. She only took one step before she was blocked by her brother's sword.
"Come now sister, this..." Kuno looked at Ryoga for a second, "commoner may be correct. For as a new leaf opens to embrace the spring, perhaps we should all embrace a life without Saotome."
"Who are you calling a commoner," Ryoga started to say but Kuno kept talking, "And Saotome, who flees like a coward gives up all his claim to Akane and the pig-tailed girl."
"Umm Kuno," Akane said, "I hate to tell you but I think he took the pig-tailed girl with him."
"Took her with him?" Kuno said incredulously. "Curse you Saotome, I will follow you to the ends of the Earth to smite thee..." He broke off suddenly as Kodachi's club hit him in the face.
"Don't you hurt my Ranma," Kodachi squealed as Kuno fell over. She quickly ducked as Shampoo threw one of her bonbori balls at Kodachi.
"Since when he YOUR Ranma?" Shampoo asked menacingly, advancing on Kodachi, pushing Akane out of the way.
"Hey you leave Akane out of this," Ryoga said clamping a hand on Shampoo's wrist. Mousse launched his chains at Kuno yelling, "Don't you touch Shampoo!" Shampoo threw Ryoga in that general direction crashing him into Mousse.
Akane could see that this was getting ugly fast. "Now hold on everyone," she said but was stopped as Kuno, reeling from one of Ryoga's punches, slammed into her. "You idiot!" she shouted, kicking him away. He landed in the doorway, right in front of Ranma.
"Um hi everyone, did I miss anything?" Ranma said. Everyone stopped in mid-motion. Mousse had chains from his robe wrapped around Ryoga. Ryoga was about to use his free hand to smash Mousse in the face. Nearby Kodachi had Shampoo wrapped up in a ribbon, but it looked like even that wasn't going to stop the Amazon. They all stared at Ranma.
"Ra-Ranma, you came back," Akane said haltingly.
Ranma shrugged, "Of course I came back, the old man just took me to Kyoto to visit my grandparent's graves..." He paused while everyone, save Ranma and Akane, fell over.
Akane advanced on him, her eyes smoldering, "You mean I went through all that, and you were just visiting relatives?" She picked up Kuno's sword, which was lying nearby.
"Wait, wait a minute," Ranma said, waving his arms in front of him as he backed up. "What'd I do?"
Akane ignored him, "Ranma, you get back here," she yelled as she chased him out of the dojo.
The End.
Author's Note: I didn't create the characters, just the situation. Big thank you to Rumiko Takahashi for the series. I'd also like to apologize for anything that comes out of Kuno's mouth, I'm just not that good with poetry. Comments to stormwalker628@usa.net
