It started out innocently enough. Then again, so did everything where Aino Minako was concerned.
With no enemies to discuss at the weekly "Senshi meetings," conversations tended to quickly devolve into the standard fare that was teenage girl talk. At first it would center on favorite classes, but someone (sometimes Minako, sometimes Makoto) would quickly hijack the discussion to who's math class had the cutest boys. And when Ami would attempt to reign it in and say which teachers she most respected ‘regardless of the relative attractiveness of his students,' someone (almost always Minako) would wonder aloud if she could get a better grade in math if she had ‘a scandalous but devastatingly sexy affair.'
Everything was pretty much downhill from there.
Ami turned beet red and stammered indignantly. "Minako! How can you even think about such things?"
"Much less say them," Rei sighed irritably. It was a quiet debate among the other girls if Rei objected to these conversations out of a sense of propriety or if she was simply jealous that she went to an all-girls' school taught exclusively by nuns.
Makoto shrugged, popping a cookie into her mouth. "I've thought of it before."
"Mako!" Ami shouted. "How can you?"
"Having sex has got to be easier than math, Ami," Makoto confided. Ami was now turning purple, clearly in extreme disagreement with this sentiment.
Minako pouted. "I hope not."
Makoto raised an eyebrow. "You want sex to be hard?"
Minako was about to respond to the question, but instead she giggled. "Hee. Hard."
Rei threw her hands up in disgust. "For heaven's sake…"
"Okay! Sorry, sorry," Minako said, clearly not the least bit apologetic. "You're just making it sound like all you have to do is lay there and take it. Boring! I'd so much rather be an active participant." She grabbed a pocky and bit into it with an audible crunch, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.
Makoto gave this due consideration. "Very true. I just mean that I hope I'll know what to do. I don't want to be fumbling around like an idiot, you know?"
"Your body will know what to do," Minako advised sagely.
Rei snorted. "As if you know."
"Well, nobody here knows knows," Minako returned tartly. "Until one of us loses our virginity, it's just guessing."
"Oh, I'm not a virgin anymore."
All four girls simultaneous turned to stare at Usagi, open-mouthed. Up to this point, she'd been too busy eating her ice cream to participate in the conversation. But now her bowl was all but licked clean, and she chose to enter it with that astounding revelation.
"Oh. My. God." Makoto whispered.
"Usagi!" Ami shouted, looking like she might faint. "I can't believe it!"
"I swear, if you've got a little Chibi-Usa growing in there, I will strangle both of you," Rei growled.
"Don't worry so much, Rei," Usagi advised. "It's fine."
"Did you use protection? Are you on the pill?" Rei demanded. "Because even then, you don't know if you're fine."
Usagi started to pale, but she continued to placate Rei. "I'm not pregnant, Rei. I'm not even done with high school yet!"
Rei's face fell into her palm. "As if that has to do with anything…"
"NOT FAIR!"
Now everyone's attention snapped toward the other side of the table and the other blonde.
Minako threw down the remainder of her pocky, and leapt to her feet. "It's not fair!"
Usagi tilted her head to the side. "What's not fair, Minako?"
"That you lost it first!"
Ami, Rei, and Makoto each found themselves wearing identical expressions of exasperation.
"Minako," Makoto pointed out sensibly. "Usagi is the only one with a boyfriend."
"So?!"
"So, in order to have sex, you need another person," Rei snapped. She paused and added, "Idiot," for good measure.
Minako shook her head vehemently. "Doesn't matter!"
Knowing full well what the answer to the question would be, Ami nevertheless voiced it lest they go in circles over this for the next hour. "Why, Minako?"
"Because it should have been me, of course!"
Makoto and Rei groaned.
"Of course."
"Should have known."
"But Minako," Usagi asked, "who were you going to do it with?"
For the first time, Minako's cheeks colored a dusty pink. "Well, I… I hadn't really thought through it that much—"
"Shocker," Rei and Makoto intoned.
"—but of course I should have been first!" Minako insisted. "I am the goddess of love and beauty, after all! I was supposed to lose it first, and then tell you all about it. Educating you in the ways of carnal love."
"Carnal love?" Rei asked, incredulous. "God, you've really thought this through, haven't you?"
Minako glared, refusing to answer.
"Well," Makoto announced, clapping her hands eagerly. "Since it didn't happen that way, I guess it's up to Usagi."
Usagi hesitated. "Up to me to…?"
"Tell us about it!" Makoto said, jumping with excitement.
Minako kept pouting. "This is not how it was supposed to happen."
"Get over it and get into the dishing," Makoto advised.
Minako considered this, and quickly decided that although her pride was wounded, the information was too important not to get. She somehow managed to clear the distance between her and Usagi in the blink of an eye. She now knelt in front of her, holding her hands. "Yes, tell us, Usagi! Be brave!"
"Er…" Usagi stammered. "I don't know if…"
"Oh, come on, Usagi!" Makoto said. "You have to. You wouldn't leave your friends – your very best friends – ignorant of… um… whatever it was Minako said."
"The ways of carnal love," Minako supplied helpfully.
"Yes, that."
"I am going to be ill," Ami informed them, looking truly green.
Makoto reached over and grabbed Ami's hands. "Ami, don't think of it like that! Think of it like studying! You'd never go into an exam, unprepared, would you?"
"Of course not."
"This is the same!"
"I hardly think—"
"Same!"
Rei sighed. "Usagi, if you don't tell them, they're never going to leave you alone, and Ami may not survive the cajoling. So please, just get on with it."
Usagi looked at each of her friends in turn, clearly unsure of herself and what to do. But finally, she nodded slowly, acquiescing to their demands.
And so she told them the story.
"Well, I was over at Mamo-chan's apartment…. He had just got done with his residency duties for the day, and he needed a shower. So I said I'd wait in the living room while he cleaned up."
Minako groaned, "No way! I wanted to lose my virginity with shower sex!"
"Funny, you told me you wanted to lose your virginity in a Church," Rei drawled.
Minako waved her hand dismissively. "That was just to upset you."
"Go on with the story, Usagi," Makoto said. "Minako, be quiet."
Minako stuck out her tongue, but said nothing.
"It didn't happen in the shower," Usagi assured Minako, who looked relieved. "Anyway, I read a manga while he was in there, he came out, and it just… happened."
Everyone stared at Usagi.
"Yeah, we're going to need more than that," Makoto said dryly.
"What position did you use?" Minako asked earnestly. "Against the wall? Doggy style? Backwards cowgirl?" She paused, groaning, "Oh, Usagi, don't tell me it was missionary! That's the most boring one ever!"
Usagi looked over at Ami. "I don't know what she means."
"Why are you asking me?" Ami asked, scandalized.
"I always ask you about words I don't know!"
Rei patted Usagi's shoulder. "This is one thing Ami can't help you with, Usagi."
Even Usagi's pigtails seemed to droop in disappointment.
"Usagi, it's okay," Makoto insisted. "Just tell us what happened."
Usagi nodded and took a deep breath, steeling herself. "Okay. Well, after awhile, Mamoru came out of the shower."
"Naked?" Minako queried.
Ami made a horrible little sound and fell forward on the table.
"He was wearing a towel tied around his waist," Usagi said carefully. "Then he went to go to his bedroom to change. But the towel slipped, and I… I saw it!" she cried, retreating behind her hands.
All of the girls gasped in shock and then waited for Usagi to continue.
Only she didn't.
"Well?" Minako demanded, trying to pull Usagi's hands away. "What next?"
Usagi peeked out between her fingers. "What do you mean?"
"How did you lose your virginity?!"
"I just told you!" Usagi insisted. "I saw his… his thing. And Mama told me if I ever saw it in real life, that meant I wasn't a virgin anymore."
Once again, everyone stared at Usagi.
And then Rei, Minako, and Makoto collapsed into laughter.
Usagi stared at Ami, confused. So Ami took it upon herself to explain in detail what it actually meant to lose your virginity. By the time she finished, the other girls had more or less calmed down.
"That. Sounds. Horrible." Usagi insisted. "How could Mamo-chan want to do… that to me?"
"So you mean to tell me in all this time, you and Mamoru haven't done anything like that?" Makoto asked, still wiping tears away.
"No!" Usagi insisted. "I mean… we've kissed. A lot. But we've never… Oh my gosh, it's so gross, I can't even handle it!"
Rei clutched her aching stomach. "I guess Mamoru really is honorable that way. How did he react when the towel slipped?"
"Oh, he was so sorry," Usagi said, still shuddering. "I think he thought I was going to cry. To be honest, I didn't even really know what I was looking at. At the time, I was just relieved it was over, but now… I can't believe he's really going to expect me to do that!"
"I don't think you have to worry about it for awhile, Usagi," Makoto assured her. "If Mamoru was that concerned about you catching a glimpse of… it, I don't think he's going to be pressuring you any time soon."
"I hope not," Usagi said, laying a hand on her chest.
"Well, at least that's settled," Minako chirped, now satisfied that she still had a good chance of being the first. "So Usagi…" she began, a smile slowing curving onto her lips.
"How big was it?"
"MINAKO!"
