Dear Sasuke;
You don’t know me, probably don’t even remember my name. I’m just another person in your life that you passed by as you went on to find what you were looking for, whatever that was. But now I’m not going to give it to you because now you have no right to know it.
We used to talk daily, do you remember? If you weren’t there one day, I always thought my life was uncomplete until I heard from you again. I have no idea what you ever thought, but you talked. I told you everything, you made me feel unbroken for once. I could breathe around you without catching my breath in a sob. Do you remember that? Do you remember being a pillar for me to stand on? Of course not.
You only ever saw me once. But once was enough to judge, even though you knew everything about me inside seeing the outer me was enough to never talk to me again. You acted like every other asshole I ever met, and I thought you knew me. I learned one important thing from you – and that was to never trust what someone said about me.
But I didn’t want to believe that, I refused to believe it. I valiantly hoped that you had just been an ass all along even though I knew you hadn’t been. Do you know where I am now? I’m stuck. Desperate to be loved, to be believed, I married the first man who said I was beautiful. I wanted so desperately to be beautiful, to be something other than rejected and despaired. Did you know my husband beats me? I have black and blue marks all over my back and arms, I can’t wear anything short sleeved. He tells me I’ll always fail, never succeed no matter what. He calls me ugly too, just like you did that one time. So I guess it’s true after all, that I really don’t have any hope of being anything else. He says that I’m doomed for life if I ever leave him, the only way I could ever be anything is if I do everything he tells me too.
I believe him. I have nothing else to believe. The only hope I cling to know is maybe I’ll get someone out of this who really does love me. Do you think I will? I don’t know, but it’s the only thing I can hold to now. That maybe someday I’ll get out of this if I have someone who really truly loves me.
I guess the only reason I’m writing this letter is too tell you what you did to me, how thoroughly you broke my heart by saying that to me – what you did when you never spoke to me again. Did you know I’m desperate?
Love,
Desperate Girl You Never Loved
