Review by Loki |
2007-09-13
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What an exciting story concept, I have noticed as I read your older stories to this one, a steady improvement in your style and you have lots of talent and potential
Firstly, the only things I would work on are the little redundancies, try to show not tell too much, little things, but these are important for a writer to know. try and avoid using 'bit' too much and contractions like X alright X should always be two words, but aside from the odd typo and punctuation, X ?! X pairings... (more) |
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