Review by ruminant |
2007-06-07
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I think you have an interesting idea here. If the girls were split up for 3 years and then had to come back together to fight a new enemy, what would happen?
There are some grammar issues in your story. There is a thread in the Board here under The Writer's Block that has Beta Readers in it. Beta Readers are great for catching mistakes.
Also, Rei says the girls, "left without even saying good bye to one another" and then she says, "she wouldn't even talk to any o... (more) |
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