To be perfectly honest, I didn’t want to tell you about this. On the whole, it is embarrassing. I don’t like admitting that I made such a mistake. I’m usually so good about being able to tell when people like me. I’m also amazingly likeable, queen that I am. It is only because you presented me with a salmon dinner that I’m even willing to recount this.
It was an ordinary day, for the most part. Another high school class was in the area on their second year trip. As a popular temple/tourist area in Kyoto visiting high school classes aren’t new. ‘Tis the season and all that. Over the past week, we’d had several high school classes come through. They were pretty much a normal group; not like the groups from the 1980s that my mother used to tell me stories about.
Anyway, there I was, minding my own business when I saw him. He was off by himself, half leaning half sitting on the wall. Even in his school uniform he looked like he could be a bad boy, the kind with the heart of gold underneath. I have a weakness for brooding loaners. Some days, I’m one myself. Of course, I walked over to him. To be honest, I felt drawn to him in a way I cannot understand. There was this pull between us – like we were the same on some fundamental level. I can’t explain it really; it’s something you had to feel.
Anyway, I approached him. Okay, I did more than approach him; I practically jumped in his lap. I was a little *cough* obvious in my affection, to which, as you can attest, is not like me. He seemed…interested. At least, he didn’t push me away. It was heaven.
I did start building some pipe dreams in those moments. Sure, I knew it wouldn’t have worked – not really – but I’d let him into my world. A royal consort to my queen. We could have worked it out. We would have…if it weren’t for her.
To be honest, I didn’t see what the appeal was. She was a plain girl, a typical high school student. She wore her tidy high school uniform exactly as the rules specified. She had plain brown hair, seemed of average intelligence, and was polite – if not forceful. She even acknowledged my presence! She asked if I was a friend of his.
I waited for him to say something. To claim I was more than a friend. To cradle me in his arms and shout out my importance – to the world, to Japan, to him!
Instead he says, “Of course not! I told you, didn’t I? They just come on their own…”
I was in shock at first. Of COURSE Not?! Like thinking of us together was odd and not normal? Like we couldn’t be friends, or more than that? “I told you?”! He’d talked to the tart before? After acting like he was all available? “They just come”! They?! He said they as if our connection wasn’t special. As if he’d rather have her in his lap than me.
I saw red. And I lashed out. I think I left a mark as well. I won’t go through what I was thinking as I walked away. I felt so used and led on. So crushed.
The plain tart tried to call me back, but I kept walking. I didn’t want to see him with her.
So, tonight, pick me up. Pet me. Pamper me. I deserve it. Even more than usual. It’s not often I meet the perfect guy and get thrown over for another girl.
I will never understand you humans.