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Serena stared at Lita in utter disbelief. She'd heard of torture before. She'd heard of terrible deprivation. And she'd seen plenty of those commercials with the starving children in the countries she'd never heard of - or at least bits of them. Every time they came on, Mina covered her eyes and started fumbling for the remote.

But this might have been the worst thing she'd ever heard.

"So... you can't eat pork at all?"

Lita sighed and continued running her hands through her hair, winding her voluminous brown hair into a ponytail atop her head. "Yes, Serena. I'm Jewish. We're not allowed."

Serena continued staring. "So... So you're not allowed to eat pork chops?"

"No."

"They're nasty anyway," Mina announced, sticking her tongue out for emphasis.

Serena ignored her. "Or ham?"

"Nope."

"Well, that is a shame," Raye conceded quietly, Mina nodding enthusiastically at her left.

"Not even... bacon?"

"Not bacon either, Serena."

Serena's lower lip trembled. "That's terrible."

Lita shrugged, fluffing out her bangs in front of the mirror. "It's not so bad."

"But the bacon--"

"I mean, I don't have it as bad as Amy."

Serena blinked. "Huh? What about Amy?"

The dark-haired girl slunk down behind Raye and Mina, quietly praying that perhaps Lita would stop before the impending disaster.

"Well, Amy's a Mormon. She can't have chocolate."

"WHAT?!!"

Amy sighed. No such luck.

Serena came flying across the room, grasping both of Amy's hands tightly against her chest. The blonde had started crying before she'd even gotten to her feet, and now tears were falling on Amy's fingers. Serena looked as though a member of Amy's family had just died. "Amy... You poor thing. I don't... I can't..."

Suddenly, Serena let out a loud yell and threw her arms around Amy's shoulders, squeezing as hard as she could. "You must be so miserable!"

Amy patted Serena's back awkwardly, knowing that this wasn't really about her. "I'll be all right."

Mina tossed her hair over her shoulder, shaking her head at the lot of them. "And that's why I'm joining a sex cult."

Raye reached over and punched Mina in the back of her head, her face remaining devoid of expression as the girl toppled off the bed and crashed to the ground, shouting a number of obscenities that Amy couldn't help but blush at.

"Idiot."

Written for the Sailor Moon Monthly Fanfiction Challenge. February 2008 Challenge - Alternate Universe. Day Two: Pig.