Vignette Collection: Lemon Lime Remix by Kihin Ranno

Fandom:Sailormoon Rating:PG13
Created:2008-04-04 Modified:2008-04-04
Summary:Aino Minako sold lemons. Kou Yaten sold limes.
Lemon Lime Remix

Aino Minako sold lemons. Kou Yaten sold limes.

One would have thought that it might be beneficial for one person to sell both fruits at the old street market, but that wasn't the case. Perhaps once upon a time, they'd sold them together. Or maybe one had sold both until the other appeared and an arbitrary decision was made to split the difference. Or maybe one of them really liked lemonade while the other preferred tequila.

Whatever the case, Aino Minako sold lemons, and Yaten Kou sold limes. Their stands were right next to each other, Minako's covered in a bright orange and yellow awning with bright, flashy signs advertising her prices. She'd kept a potted plant at her side for awhile, but it kept dying. She switched to a life-size cut out of Johnny Depp. She felt it was a better choice.

Yaten had a chalkboard sign and a goldfish named Charlie.


"Limes are looking a bit sad there, Yaten."

"Did I ask for your commentary on my fruit?"

"No, no. No, no. Just making an observation."

"May I make an observation?"

"You know, I'd say no, but I just have this feeling that it wouldn't make the slightest bit of difference. Carry on."

"Your obsession with Johnny Depp is perhaps the most disgusting display I have ever seen. And also? That bow is not attractive."

"...You didn't get enough hugs as a child, did you?"


"Looks like I'm out-selling you this time, Aino."

"Well, it is Friday. You always out-sell me on Friday. And you always feel the need to point it out."

"I enjoy seeing you miserable."

"But you're not making me miserable. You're really just making an ass out of yourself."

"...Your mother never loved you."

"And you look like a girl. We done now?"


"Hey! Hey, Yaten!"

"No, I will not give you his number."

"...How do you know--"

"A very good-looking friend of mine just stopped by and flirted with you in passing before he had a serious conversation with me. What else could you possibly want?"

"Your soul."


"No, I'm totally kidding. I want the phone number."


"Have you fed Charlie today?"

"I do not need you to remind me to feed my goldfish."

"Hey, I'm just trying to be helpful here."

"I do not need your help. I was just going to get the food now."


"I was."

"No, I'm sure you were."

"At least I can keep a living thing alive."

"Hey, that plant was defective!"

"Yeah, they tend to do that when they don't get water."

"You could say the same for fish!"

"...Back away from the bowl."

"Buy me dinner."


"Do it or Goldy gets it!"


"Ha, you idiot. As if I'd hurt the poor little fishy. It's not his fault he has such a mean, nasty owner, is it?"

"Do not baby-talk my fish."

"Pick me up at a 8:00."

"Clearly, you are the anti-christ."


"I can't believe you took me to a place with bad citrus!"

"I can't believe you care."


"So, you know about Mamoru, the fish guy?"

"He knocked up Usagi from the apple stand."


"What? Isn't that what they're saying?"

"I was supposed to say it to you first!"


"What do you think it'll look like?"

"Well, how the hell should I know?"

"Just guess!"

"Pink hair, red eyes."

"...That is the stupidiest idea you've ever had."


"Would you ever have sex with a guy who smells like fish?"

"There are entirely too many ways to answer that question."


"What do you think our kids would look like?"


"Eww! I'm not offering!"

"That's not what you said last night."

"You were bowling with the guy with the forehead last night."


"You told me that's where you were going!"

"Uh-huh. Stalker."

"Ugh! You're impossible."

"...they'd probably have your eyes."

"Just so long as they don't have your hair."


It is a surprise to absolutely no one when they got married.

And even less of a surprise when they got divorced.

Written for the Sailor Moon Monthly Fanfiction Challenge, February 2008 Challenge - Alternate Universe. Day Seventeen: Lemons and Limes.

 Reviews: 3
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Review by shetan83 2010-11-12

Rofl, I thought I'd gotten to the punchline. And then I got to the punchline.
Review by zoodlesEXPRESS 2009-08-01

I love this so much. I come back to reread this from time to time. It brightens my day up.
Review by bin82501 2008-04-06

LMAO another funny.. ah the wonderful love-hate relation ship of Yaten and Minako

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