It has been a long time since she remembered why she smiled. It's like her smile lingered on her face, waiting for days that are long gone now to reappear.
She didn't even know if she could call it a smile. It wasn't hopeful and it wasn't joyous. It was a mask, etched to her face without depth. Behind it she hid her soulless eyes that were long since blind.
She couldn't even remember the feeling of her fingers against his hot skin.
She parted her life into sections, points of meaning and reason of living. She fought, she laughed, she studied, she ate, she slept, she smiled and smiled and smiled.
Always the same ritual. Training at dawn, eating, chatting, studying all the politic she could need and everything about leadership, diplomacy, diplomacy and all the thousand other things she would need. Solve conflicts. Smile even though she couldn't. Play the game until perfection and even she can't remember that it's a game.
Because it was easy to play a game where every new day were a new round and smiling were a part of the schedule.
It was in that game she lost herself.
And all that really were was empty smiles and memories she didn't remember.