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Vignette Collection: Guilty by -symphonic.requiem-


Fandom:Megami Kouhosei Rating:G
Created:2008-08-22 Modified:2008-08-22
Summary:Post-"Death". Gareas POV. His feelings on Ernest’s death.
Guilty

[A/N: Yes, this is old. Yes, I know there probably are no radios anywhere on the GIS, but I had to start somewhere... I apologize for any errors in grammar, logic or anything else.]

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And once again, I can’t find any sleep. On the radio – what else – is a love song on play, and I skip the channel.

I just can’t bear such things anymore.

Even more love songs, no matter which channel I choose. It seems like the whole world is plotting against me.

Everything is so different without you.

Sure, everybody is kind, everybody is sympathetic. But what does it matter? You won’t come back. Never again, no matter what I do, how many tears I cry in the night, when I’m alone, you stay dead.

Tune is crying much too, you can see it in her eyes. Everybody knows that she loved you, and I think you knew it too. She says she couldn’t reproach me, nobody could. Nobody says something reproaching to me. Actually, nobody talks about it anymore, as if it had never happened. Life goes on, somehow. A new pilot for Luhma Klein, new fights against new Victims. But... I still have the feeling as if you were still alive. Sometimes, after a fight, I still think you would get out of the Goddess. And everytime I am disappointed, everytime my heart breaks again.

It’s as if time had stopped in my heart when Tune had said nobody could help you. And every day without you, a piece of me shatters until someday, nothing is left to shatter. Until I will have died inside.

The reproaches I make me are tearing me up inside. Of course there aren’t any reproaches of the others, but I know that I am to blame for your death. And even if everyone would forgive me, I can’t forgive myself.

I am an idiot, I know. Because of my rashness you were put into danger. And I have never noticed how much you really meant to me, until the end. Now you’re gone, because of me, and I am breaking.

I blew my chance. I won’t ever see you again, never hear your voice again. I can’t annoy you ever again just for the fun of it.

But I hope I’ll see you again someday. And that I can tell you everything when this time comes.

////*\\\\

Done. Thanks for reading.

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