Harry woke up before he knew why he was awake, a terrifying experience for anyone but especially for someone who was the sworn enemy of more than a few homicidal maniacs. After clearing his head, he realized that Ron was making a number of noises he didn't usually make late at night in bed. Harry reached over and grabbed his glasses, hopping out of the bed and shaking Ron awake.

"No, no it's too-- AHH!" Ron's eyes were opened wide enough so that Harry was concerned they would fall out of his head.

"Spiders again?" Harry asked dryly, trying to suppress a smile.

"No!" Ron whimpered in a terrified voice, pulling the covers up to his chin. "It was worse. Oh, it was so much worse."

Harry patted Ron's head and sat down on the bed. "There, there Ronald. It's over now. Why don't you tell me about it?"

"It's not funny!" Ron insisted vehemently. "Dumbledore was in it. And so was the Giant Squid!"

Harry wrinkled his nose. "That's a rather interesting combination."

"No! It was not interesting! It was disgusting! They had some sort of... relationship, and--"

"Ron! That's sick!"

"I KNOW! But it was in my head and now it won't go away. And I didn't even tell you the worst part!"

Harry felt ill. "There's a worse part?"

Ron leaned forward, his face white and his whole frame trembling. It was as if he would burst if he didn't explain this horror to someone else. That was probably the case.

"They had babies!"