My love is like the deep, dark, blue sea...
"Miroku...I love you." A soft, silky voice whispered as a dark haired woman closed her eyes and leaned into Miroku to kiss him. She was mere inches of putting her luscious lips to his before his eyes snapped open and he realized it was just a dream- yet again.
He sighed softly and turned his head slightly to look at his companions- particularly a woman sleeping on her demon cat.
He had been having the same dream for days now. Even though it wasn't a nightmare in any way, it tormented him down to the very depths of his soul and to the point of him fearing to close his eyes.
It wasn't that he didn't want to dream about her. No, that certainly wasn't it. It was the small fact that he could no *more* than just dream that was bothering him. Sure, dreaming about your desires was all good, but when you had that desire beside you every single day- real to the touch- you kind of tended to crave for the true thing.
Miroku looked up at the darkened sky ablaze with white twinkly stars. He was at an impasse. On the one hand, he wanted to act on his feelings toward his beautiful companion Sango and kiss her so passionately, it would take her breath away. But then, on the other hand, he had to control his lustful hormones and keep his romantic feelings under the surface because Sango meant more to him than every other child-bearing girl. It would have made him blissfully happy to be with Sango in that intimate, more-than-just-friends way. But he didn't know how *long* it would've kept him happy, and he wanted to spare her because he didn't trust himself. He didn't trust himself to be in a long committed relationship. He didn't know anything about love; he just asked every girl to bear his child because he knew someday that black void would suck him in and he wanted to leave something to be remembered by when he left this world.
Getting up from his sleeping gear, Miroku went out towards the sea in the village they were currently taking a short residence in. Taking off his sandals, he walked along the dark sandy path, the soft splash of waves calming down his nerves a little. He knew that he wouldn't be able to return to sleep with his mind so frazzled. He sat down on one of the sedimentary rocks jutting out from under the sand and prepared to watch the small, white, foamy waves outline the black sea.
He didn't know what the future would bring for him and Sango. But he had hopes that they would always be together, whether they were platonically together or romantically, of course, was still up for debate. Fate had thrown them together once under their grudge for Naraku. He was sure they still would have a bond left after their grudge got resolved. And he couldn't take what time Sango and he had spent together for granted.
That was all he was allowing himself for now and he was pretty content with it. After all, no one can predict the future. And one way or another, he'd make his own destiny with at least one part of his life.