The world was filled with traitors. Even Christ was betrayed by one of his own disciples. For only forty pieces of silver, Judas placed a kiss upon his cheek, marking him as the one to be punished for crimes he never committed. And so he was crucified, and in response to the treachery, Judas was overcome with immense guilt. He eventually hanged himself from a tree, leaving his remains for the vultures to feast upon.

As Mathias stared at his mother’s rosary beads, he thought of how he could relate to Judas. Maybe biblical scholars and priests had labeled the man an enemy, but Mathias saw someone who acted as any human would. There was no set answer as to why Judas betrayed Christ, but one educated guess was to assure he was not arrested for being associated with a lawbreaker. So he saved his own ass. It was a cowardly action, but also a rather sane one. Human instinct drives everyone to maintain one ultimate goal: to not die. And if placed in the same situation, other people would have done the same thing. They may never want to admit it, but they would.

So how ironic was it that Judas still died in the end?

It was about as ironic as Mathias wishing he could somehow follow in the disciple’s footprints. Guilt was his only companion these days. During his nights at home, a night exactly like this one, guilt woke him up with visions of a long-forgotten past. He could only remember bits and pieces, but even so… he knew. He betrayed someone he was supposed to protect. That person died because of him.

And because of that... perhaps he should find a tree and hang from its branches.