Every time I look at you, I feel like I want to cry.
Youíre a broken man now, so different from the person I fell in love with all those years ago. The light has gone from those beautiful golden eyes of yours, and I know you havenít slept for days, because I havenít either.
I guess weíve both changed in that regard. It was inevitable, I suppose. How could an experience like that not change us?
But why wonít you let me share in your grief? Youíve barely said a hundred words to me since the funeral. Iím in pain, too, yet you act as if I donít even exist to you any more.
Maybe I donít. You havenít said as much, but I know you blame me for her death. You blame me for not being strong enough to save her with my powers, but if I could have, I would have gladly exchanged my life for hers. She was so young -- still a baby really -- with so much life left to live.
I still canít believe sheís gone.
My sweet YumemiÖ
It wasnít, and isnít, fair. Parents are the ones who are supposed to die before their children, not the other way around. Thereís a humongous hole in my heart that I know will never completely heal, but if I lose you as wellÖ
Speak to me. Say something, anything.
Yell at me. Curse me. Tell me I was a terrible mother.
Whisper to me. Comfort me. Tell me that you still love me.
Just do something, because this wall standing between us is too unbearable, too cruel. Our lives have already fallen apart, but, if we support each other, maybe we can put some semblance of a life back together, maybe find some kind of happiness. It wonít be the same -- nothing will ever be the same without her in our lives -- but I donít want to spend the rest of my life like this.
DISCLAIMER: "Sailor Moon" is the property of Takeuchi Naoko.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Any comments or criticisms can be sent to me at ElysionDream@aol.com. Written for the sm_monthly community at Livejournal, Theme - Crumble.