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As We Stumble Along by Baine

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As We Stumble Along
Chapter 1/?
By Baine
Email: ladybaine at gmail dot com
Written: January 19th, 2007
Posted: June 30th, 2007

*—(number) Implies that there is a Japanese cultural note regarding the topic at the end of the story.


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As We Stumble Along
Chapter One
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“Banzai!”

Fists pummeled the air and the afternoon’s silence was shattered by whoops and cheers. Adults rolled their eyes and vowed to buy earplugs for next time, though they all knew they’d forget how bad the noise really was and make the same pledge to themselves next year, as they had last year and the year before it and the one before that.

It wasn’t a strategic move to build an office complex across from a school, especially a high school, where kids tended to be ruder and more rambunctious than the younger children to begin with. Of course, the teenagers streaming out of the school gates weren’t aware of the ruckus they were causing. Instead, they were glad to have a month of vacation before school started up again in September. Summer had officially arrived. *--1

For the juniors, the upcoming vacation felt particularly liberating because the following summer, they would have to buckle down and spend their days studying for the college entrance exams. This sense of fleeting freedom made them louder than everyone else combined.

One such junior, a sixteen-year-old male with a head of auburn hair, pushed his bangs off his forehead as he wiped away the sweat forming on his face with his handkerchief, his hazel eyes twinkling as he laughed at his friends’ antics.

A lanky boy with jet-black hair walked up behind him and slung an arm across his shoulders. “Hey, Shrimp, ready for vacation?”

The shorter boy glowered. “You know, Mamoru, just because you’re a giant who hit puberty early doesn’t mean you can tease me about the fact that I have yet to experience a growth-spurt.”

The dark-haired man threw back his head and laughed. “That’s what you’ve been saying for the past two years, Shortie. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were a girl.”

“Just because you prefer girls that come up to your chest so that you can peer down at them and feel manly doesn’t mean it isn’t possible to have a relationship with a girl your own height, or slightly shorter. At least I don’t have to bend so far down to kiss a girl that I get a crick in my neck.”

“Touché, my friend.” Mamoru stumbled backwards and mimed pulling a dagger from his heart. “Then again, you’ll never be tall enough to be able to see down her shirt at the rate you’re going at.”

Mamoru straightened with a grin as a girl with long blond hair came running up to them, her skirt hitched up above her knees now that school was out, showing off her long, gleaming legs. She threw them a megawatt smile. “Mamoru, Umino! I’m glad I caught you. We’re all getting together for some karaoke over at Crown. ‘Toki said he’d get us in for free. Are you in?”

Mamoru threw the girl a roguish smile. “Absolutely, Mins, wouldn’t miss it for the world—especially if Umino here gets as drunk as he did last time. I could go for hearing him warble another song by The Police in bad English.”

“Hey!” The shorter boy pouted, brushing his bangs out of his eyes once more. “You weren’t any better and you know it.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not a lightweight like you.”

The blonde laughed. “You two will never change, will you?”

“Nope.”

She strung herself between both boys and grabbed onto their hands, pulling them away from the school.

“Mins, slow down. Why do you have so much energy, anyway?”

She grinned cheekily. “What, I can’t just be happy that school’s out?”

“...No.”

She swatted Mamoru playfully on the shoulder. “You’re such a jerk.”

“And yet you’re still here.”

“Well, you can’t get rid of me that easily, after all!”

The three continued to laugh and tease one another as they entered Crown and walked toward their private room.

Umino froze as a TV screen in the corner of the room caught his eye. Standing behind a microphone, a woman with dark-blue hair stood answering questions for the press. Noticing the way he was absorbed in watching the TV, Mamoru sighed and moved in front of his friend so that he was unable to see the screen.

Umino gritted his teeth. “Mamoru, get out of the way so I can see. Mizuno Ami is holding a press junket to discuss her breakthrough discovery concerning stem cell research!”

“Seriously?” Mamoru gazed at the screen in interest, causing Minako to sigh in exasperation.

“I’ll go tell the others that we’ve lost you two nerds to the world of medicine.”

“Okay, Mina, you do that,” Umino muttered, his eyes never leaving the screen.

Neither boy noticed that she had left as they sat down to watch the conference. When it was over, they began to debate the merits of the break-through and whether or not it would prove to be as revolutionary as everyone was saying.

Umino, of course, felt that anything touched by Mizuno Ami had the ability to be transformed into gold. He had idolized her ever since he first saw her on live television and hoped to one day be as smart as she was.

“You know,” he mused, catching his friend’s attention, “It’s really not fair.”

“What’s not?”

“Mizuno Ami is so smart.”

“Well, she did go to the best high school in Japan, which allowed her to get into the best college and graduate early.”

“I know. It isn’t fair. We’ll never have that opportunity since Sakura Kita is an all-girls school. Last I checked, we didn’t have boobs.” He gave his friend a side-long glance. “Well, I don’t, anyway.”

“Sucks, doesn’t it?” Mamoru threw his hands behind his head and leaned backwards, ignoring his friend’s jibe.

“Yeah, what I wouldn’t give to be that smart...”

Mamoru stood and rolled his broad shoulders to work out the kinks. “Anyway, we should probably head inside before the others wonder what happened to us.”

“Please,” Umino scoffed. “If they’ve consumed as much alcohol as they did last time we were here, they probably won’t remember that we exist at the moment.”

The two boys laughed and began their debate anew as they headed into a nearby room to meet their friends.

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“You know,” Minako, mused, pulling her straw in and out of her glass as though it were the most fascinating thing that she had ever seen, “You really need to get your hair cut, Umino. If it gets any longer, people will start to think you’re a girl.”

Mamoru laughed uproariously at the comment. “See, even Minako thinks that you’re a girl. If you keep it up, I bet even Mizuno Ami wouldn’t know you were a guy.”

Umino frowned as he threw back his last drink of the night. He reached up to touch his hair. “Is it really that bad?”

A blond named Motoki slapped his hand against Umino’s shoulder and slurred, “You bet. Another month and you’ll have enough hair to make small pigtails.”

“Pigtails...?” He pulled on a lock of hair thoughtfully. “I wonder...”

“Let me guess, you’re thinking about cross-dressing now?” Motoki chortled drunkenly, believing himself to be the wittiest person to ever grace the face of Earth.

Umino’s eyes narrowed and he was about to respond when he came up with a brilliant idea. Of course, any idea can seem like an epiphany when your mind has been befuddled by alcohol. This proved to be no different for Umino and his friends.

“You know,” he murmured, peering at them as he placed his cup back onto the table, “that’s an excellent idea.”

Motoki looked at him, startled. “You seriously want to become a cross-dresser? Umino, look, I didn’t mean—”

“No, listen! I can’t get into Sakura Kita because I’m not a girl, right?”

“Yeah...”

“So, being the brilliant genius that I am, I’ve decided to infiltrate the school in disguise!” He turned to face his friends. “Mamoru, you always tease me about how I’m as short as a girl, right? If I grow out my hair, I could easily pull it off.”

Mamoru brought a hand to his chest. “As you said earlier, you don’t have boobs.”

“I’ll do what Minako does and buy a push-up bra. They were invented because so many girls are flat as boards themselves, right?”

“Hey! My boobs are real, thank you very much!” Minako protectively held a hand to her chest. She pursed her lips and tapped her chin thoughtfully. “We’d have to do something about your face. Your features are much too masculine.”

“My little brother has these huge, hulking glasses that take up half his face because his eyesight is so bad. I bet it isn’t hard to get a non-prescriptive pair.”

Motoki nodded. “And we can get you some lip gloss or whatever the hell it is that girls like to slather across their lips. Maybe we could pierce your ears and—”

“No way!” Umino clapped a hand over his ears. “Not happening.”

“But, Umino—”

“Motoki, shush. We can buy him clip-ons. Some schools don’t allow students to pierce their ears until after they’ve graduated, anyway.”

“True,” Motoki smirked. “What about his legs? They definitely aren’t as nice-looking as a girl’s.”

Minako’s eyes widened. “Oh, I can teach you how to shave!”

Umino shook his head. “You are not coming near me with a sharp object.”

“But, Umino—”

“No way! Besides, how hard can it be? I know how to shave my face, after all. It can’t be that much different, can it?”

Minako smirked. “Whatever you say, stud. Just don’t let them see you with a shadow on your face or you’re screwed.”

The four plotted throughout the night, rationalizing how to transform Umino into a girl. They did such a thorough job that once they were sober again, it still made sense.

Of course, even the best-laid plans have the tendency to fall apart, especially the ones formed while intoxicated, since the mind isn’t coherent enough to see possible holes in the canvas of the idea…

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Cultural Note #1: The Japanese school calendar doesn’t start/end at the same time as most other countries. The school year starts in early April. “Summer Vacation” begins at the end of July and runs until the end of August. Many students study for entrance exams or go to cram school continue on with club activities and go to school despite the fact that there are no classes.

Author’s Note: So, earlier this year I was trying to come up with a story that revolved around Umino/Naru because they get so little love of their own. They’re always minor characters that authors tend to ignore rather thin utilize. I was trying to think of a story, but wasn’t inspired until after watching an episode of the Taiwanese drama Hana Kimi.

I’ve since stopped watching that drama because I didn’t care for the actress, but I’m really happy to announce that there will be a Japanese version of the drama based on the manga starting this coming Tuesday! Not only that, it stars Oguri Shun, who played Rui in Hana Yori Dango. That man is such an amazing actor. I’m drooling already. Plus, Horikita Maki (who starred in Nobuta wo Produce) is in it, and from the preview, she’s going to do a much better job than Ella did with the T-Version! I’m really, really excited for the launch, so I’m releasing the first chapter of this fic today as a celebration.

I plan for this story to be vastly different from Hana Kimi, of course. Then again, it’s a male in the situation, so it’s already different. Added to that, I’m keeping closer to Umino’s character by having his reasoning be due to intellect rather than following a crush. I haven’t seen anyone do the story from a male perspective, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been done.

The title of the piece, “As We Stumble Along,” was taken from a Broadway musical entitled The Drowsy Chaperone. It’s such an interesting name and I think it really suits the piece, don’t you?

I’d like to thank Loki from Aria’s Ink and The Lone Pig from SMRFF for being my “male beta readers.” They’re going to spot-check my writing to make sure it isn’t too “feminine,” since I’m obviously not a guy and wouldn’t know. I’d also like to thank SMRFF’s Sailor Elysia for answering some last-minute editing questions before this posted as well as Loki (for guest-editing) and my editor Kel (also hailing from the SMRFF Yahoo! Group).

I have the first few chapters of this written already, but if you have any interesting situations/ideas, please feel free to throw them my way! They may have already been done or planned, but there’s also a chance that it’s a fresh, new idea that would be perfect for the story. If I use the idea, you’ll even have fifteen minutes of fame by being mentioned in my fabulous Author Notes. ^.~

Like it? Hate it? I’m the one to talk to! Hit the little review button or Email ladybaine at gmail dot com today!

«•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸ ¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•»
«•´¨*•.¸¸. *Baine*.¸¸.•*¨`•»
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