As We Stumble Along
Chapter 2/?
By Baine
Email: ladybaine at gmail dot com
Written: June 7th, 2007
Posted: August 4th, 2007
*—(number) Implies that there is a Japanese cultural note regarding the topic at the end of the story.
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As We Stumble Along
Chapter Two
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It was a man’s paradise. Every which way you turned, there were girls with pouting lips and gleaming hair, their skirts riding high against their thighs and showing off miles of tan, glowing skin.
Umino gulped nervously. He didn’t think he could do this after all—especially if all of these girls made it so that he was going to have to walk around campus with a permanent hard-on.
He swallowed again and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. It was going to be weird to go from being one of Nishi-gashi’s hottest juniors to one of Sakura Kita’s ugliest, that was for sure. He took a deep breath and focused his mind as he reminded himself of the reason for doing this to begin with.
Umino scowled as Mamoru shoved a purse at him and draped an arm across his shoulders, steering him toward the dormitories.
“Are you sure you’re not gay, Mamoru?”
“Absolutely,” Mamoru flashed a smile at two girls who walked past, causing them to giggle and shoot him an appreciative glance. “I’m jealous, Umino—look at all these girls!”
“Not that I can date them or anything.”
“So introduce them to your handsome best friend.”
“Why are you here again?”
“Moral support, of course. Besides, it will increase your popularity to have me draped across your shoulders. I bet all the girls already want to be your friend.”
“You’re so full of it.”
Mamoru grinned roguishly. “I know.” He stopped abruptly as a tall girl with endless legs walked past. “By the way, if she turns out to be your new roommate, I’ll never speak to you again.”
Whistling under his breath as the brunette turned to glance back at him, he managed to grit out, “Damn, you’re one lucky guy.”
Umino could almost see the drool pooling at the corner of his friend’s mouth. “Hey, you could have done this with me, but no. You’d rather make fun of me. Just rewards, my friend.”
Pulling his key out and unlocking the door to his new room, he sucked in a breath of air, making a hissing sound with his teeth. “Shit,” he muttered, staring around the half-decorated room. It was so...flowery and...pink. It felt like he’d been thrown into a bubble-gum factory. Umino winced. Looking around again, it was as though he’d been sucker-punched. This was real. He had managed to infiltrate the school. Would he be able to pull it off without getting caught?
Looking around to make sure Umino’s roommate wasn’t hiding somewhere, Mamoru snickered as he plopped atop the empty bed. “Just rewards, all right. Hopefully your side of the room will match hers.”
Umino swore once more. “Why did I pick neutral sheets again? They’re not girly at all. It’s going to be so obvious.”
“Chill, its cool, not all girls are so...frilly. Take my sister, for example.”
“Dude, she’s Goth.” Umino sunk onto the bed and buried his head in his hands. “I should have just listened to Mina.”
“All that pink would make you sicker than if you drank a bottle of Pepto-Bismol.” Mamoru shrugged and got to his feet, seeming to tower over Umino as his head loomed close to the ceiling.
Grabbing a book and throwing it on the bed, he produced his pocketknife and cut through the tape. Pulling out a lacy blue square, he tossed it in the air. “What’s this, the feminine version of a basketball?”
Umino frowned. “According to Mina, it’s a pillow. I’d forgotten about those. She said that if I was going to do solid colors, I should at least throw in some fancy pillows to add a touch of girliness.”
“Fancy is right.” Mamoru bent the pillow, testing its flexibility. “This’ll be hell on your neck.”
“I have a normal pillow, too. Apparently, those are just for decoration; you don’t actually use them.” He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Girls.”
Leaning towards the box, he pulled out the rest of his bedding. “I’ll take care of this. I don’t trust you not to short-sheet me. You can start unpacking my suitcase.”
“Sure,” Mamoru replied as he glanced over at the dresser. “It looks like there’s only one set, though. I guess you’re sharing. Better not put any manly stuff in here.” He pulled open the first drawer and laughed.
“What?”
Pulling out a lacy white bra, he wiggled it in the air. “She’ll get suspicious if you don’t have any of these.”
“I do. They’re just...heavily padded. How do you think I managed to pull off today’s chest bumps without a bra?”
Mamoru gagged. “I hadn’t noticed. I would never think to check out your chest. Thanks for that image.”
“Anytime.”
Mamoru dangled the bra from his finger, and Umino could almost see the wheels turning in his friend’s head as visions of chesty girls pranced through his imagination. “I doubt you’ll get confused with what belongs to whom. She seems...much better endowed compared to you, my dear.”
“Shove it.”
Grinning as he replaced the bra, Mamoru poked at an equally frilly pile of underwear. “Here’s something we didn’t think about.”
“What’s that?”
“Your underwear isn’t girly at all. You can’t even pretend it is.”
“Mina took care of that, too, actually. She gave me some of her old ones that she doesn’t use anymore. Said it’s better than paying for something I’ll never use. Plus, it would be suspicious if they always looked new.”
Mamoru’s face lit with interest. “You’re saying that Mina freely gave you access to her thongs and stuff?”
“Yeah, I don’t know how girls are comfortable in that crap.”
“Sweet.”
“Pervert.”
Mamoru grinned. “Tell me you didn’t have the same thoughts when you first heard the news.”
“Well, yeah, but then I saw the other side of the coin.”
“Something better than sexy panties?”
“Something worse.”
“What’s worse?” Mamoru’s eyes widened. “Don’t tell me Mina has granny panties!”
“Worse. Apparently, girls need a couple of nice, raggedy pairs to pull out once a month. She said it’d be suspicious if I didn’t have any.”
“So you say you threw them out when they started to fray. I’m sure many girls do that. I’m surprised Mins doesn’t.”
“No, Mamoru.” A pained look crossed Umino’s face. “It’s so they don’t dirty up their good underwear when they...you know,” he gulped and whispered, “When it’s that time of the month.”
“Oh, Mina gave you... Ew, nasty! I’m so not putting away your underwear.” He looked down and backed away from the drawer in horror. “That’s just wrong, and, and...hey, won’t that be suspicious? You can’t fake monthlies.”
“Sure I can,” Umino bent over and groaned. “Sensei, my stomach hurts. Can I go to the nurse?” he straightened and grinned. “I don’t know why girls complain so much. It’s like a free pass out of class every month.”
Bending to open another box, he added, “Mina even gave me some supplies and half a bottle of Midol to make things more authentic.”
“Sucks to be you,” Mamoru cleared his throat as a gentle knocking sound came from the door, turning back to Umino with a wicked gleam in his eyes. “Party time, babe.”
Throwing his friend a death-glare, Umino headed to the door and threw it open. A petite girl with wavy red hair hovered before him, her cerulean eyes wide and friendly.
“Hi, I’m Osaka Naru. I’m, uh, well, I’m your new roommate.”
Umino stared down at her, curious about the girl he’d be spending his every waking moment with for the rest of the year. “Did you forget your key?”
“What? Oh, no. Just, I didn’t know—I wasn’t sure—well, it’s polite to knock,” she lowered her head. “If I’m interrupting, I can just—”
“No, no, it’s cool. Mamoru and I—Mamoru-kun and I were just unpacking my stuff.”
“Mamoru-kun?”
Peering into the room as Umino gestured for her to enter, her blue eyes widened and a light blush graced her cheeks as Mamoru straightened and grinned at her. “Um, hi.”
“Hey, I’m Chiba Mamoru.”
“Osaka Naru...but I guess you know that already.”
Grinning again, Mamoru gave her a brief once-over before closing the drawer behind him with a resounding bang. “I was just helping Umi here unpack. Honest.”
Naru gave him an odd look before turning to her new roommate. “That’s your name, Umi? It’s so pretty. When I was a little girl, I used to love Magic Knight Rayearth. Do you remember that show? I’d watch it on TV every Monday night after dinner. Umi was my favorite character. She was so pretty and elegant and I wanted to be just like her.” *--1
Clearing his throat nervously, Umino racked his brains. “Uh...mecha show with magical girls, right?”
“That’s what my brother said when he wanted to justify watching it to his friends,” she laughed heartily, causing Umino to awkwardly join her, shooting Mamoru a panicked look.
Shit, shit, shit, struck out on the first try. Clearing his throat again, he managed to say, “Actually, my name is Umino Guriko, but I hate my first name so much that my friends gave me Umi as a nickname. Since, you know, it sounds more feminine than Umino does and, uh, it’s more of a nickname and less of a family name, and...” he trailed off, feeling sweat puddle at the back of his neck. Why couldn’t he speak properly? He was more nervous than he thought he’d be.
Overlooking his stutters, Naru smiled fondly. “That’s so cute. I wish my name was that versatile. Why do you hate your given name, anyway? It’s really unique. I don’t think I know anyone else named Guriko.”
“Oh, well, my mother grew up in Hawaii and she really liked this dessert called guri-guri. Have you heard of it?” Seeing Naru shake his head, Umino explained, “It’s sort of like ice cream, but creamier, like sorbet or something. Apparently, it’s really popular. I’m not really sure why she felt the urge to name me after food, but she did, and so I really hate the name.” At least he hadn’t lied. He really did hate the name because his mother really had named him after the dessert, only he’d feminized it when transferring to Sakura Kita. He figured that if he stayed as close to his own name as possible, colleges would just think there was a typo on his transcript and not pay much attention to his deception. He knew it had worked for getting him this far, what with all of the paperwork and entrance exams he’d needed to submit. *--2
“That’s interesting, though. How many people can say that there’s history behind their names?” She shot him a smile, showing off her straight, gleaming teeth. “Besides, maybe she had a craving for guri-guri the entire time she was pregnant with you. Oh, or maybe your parents conceived you while—”
“Er, maybe, I don’t know,” Umino grimaced as he interrupted his new roommate, not wanting to think of his parents in such a fashion.
Glancing around the room, and changing the topic, Naru asked, “So, are you almost finished here? The girls across the hall invited me to go to lunch with them. That’s where I just was, otherwise, I’d have been here to meet you. Anyway, you can come with us if you want.” Looking over to include Mamoru in the conversation, she added, “You too, Chiba-san.”
Stretching and rolling his shoulders to remove the tension, Mamoru shot Naru the smile that had all the girls back home swooning at his feet. “We’re not done, but I could sure use a break from all this work. Besides, it’d be rude to turn down a lady as lovely as yourself.”
Crossing his eyes at his friend’s cheesiness, Umino muttered, “Show-off.”
“What was that?” Naru turned with a curious look.
“Oh, just agreeing that lunch sounded good.”
“Cool,” she replied as a knock sounded at the door. “That’s them now. I just came in here to see if you had arrived and invite you to eat with us.” Pulling the door open to wave Umino’s new neighbors into the room, she stated, “I’d like you to meet two very good friends of mine, Tsukino Usagi and Hino Rei.”
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Cultural Note #1: Magic Knight Rayearth first aired on Monday, October 17, 1994 at 7:30 p.m.
Cultural Note #2: I researched the meaning of Umino’s name when deciding how to feminize it. In fanfiction when using Japanese names, fans just call him Umino, but that’s his family hame. His first name is Gurio, which probably came from the Hawaiian specialty dessert guri-guri. You can Google it if you want more information. ^_^
I’d like to thank Loki from Aria’s Ink and The Lone Pig from SMRFF for being my “male beta readers.” I’d also like to thank Loki for guest-editing and my editor Kel (also hailing from the SMRFF Yahoo! Group).
I have the first few chapters of this written already, but if you have any interesting situations/ideas, please feel free to throw them my way! I’ve already received one excellent idea that has given me a lot of inspiration, and more are always appreciated!
Also, for those who were curious, I’m going to try to get Mamoru and Usagi together as a side-story, but I don’t want to promise anything. It’s going to be hard to juggle secondary characters and incorporate a sub-plot into the story, but it’s a challenge that I’m willing to try. I really like how I’ve reversed everything and reassembled this world we know so well. I hope you do as well!
Like it? Hate it? I’m the one to talk to! Hit the little review button or e-mail ladybaine at gmail dot com today!
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«•´¨*•.¸¸. *Baine*.¸¸.•*¨`•»
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