As We Stumble Along
Chapter 3/?
By Baine
Email: ladybaine at gmail dot com
Written: June 7th, 2007
Posted: August 26th, 2007
Note: Sorry this chapter is so short! The story will REALLY kick off with the next chapter, and from four on, they’re a lot longer!
*—(number) Implies that there is a Japanese cultural note regarding the topic at the end of the story.
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As We Stumble Along
Chapter Three
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Umino was surrounded by gorgeous females. How was he going to survive the day, let alone the next year and a half? He stared across the table at his new neighbors once more. Sitting here was like being at an art museum.
Tsukino Usagi looked as though she’d been sculpted from marble. Her skin was pale and creamy and she had golden hair that cascaded down from two balls atop her head. She was absolutely lovely. Sweet and innocent all rolled into one. If he wasn’t masquerading as a girl, he’d have gone after her just to piss off Mamoru. His friend had always had a soft spot for willowy blondes. He’d been making googly eyes at her for the past half an hour. She, of course, remained oblivious, chattering away about the school’s assets. Umino had a feeling that Usagi had an Energizer battery in her when it came to talking.
Turning his gaze to Usagi’s quiet roommate, he watched as Hino Rei idly pushed around a tomato in her salad bowl. He couldn’t imagine her as a sculpture. She was too vibrant, too...regal. She’d be a painter’s dream, though; the canvas would be alive with color and a sense of mystery. He had a feeling that her portrait would give the Mona Lisa’s a run for its money. He wondered how the two roommates ever got along, seeing as they seemed to be complete opposites.
Looking once more at his roommate, he decided that she’d be carved from wood. She had a more earthy appearance compared to the two bombshells that lived across the hall. Remembering how Naru had invited him to eat and apologized for the interruption, Umino figured she was also loyal and reliable the way wood was.
As for himself, he’d be an illusion meant to trick the eye. His new swirly glasses added to the effect. In this form, he was too hideous to appear in an actual museum alongside such masterpieces.
Finishing up her lunch, Usagi turned and speared the tomato Rei had been playing with, popping it into her mouth and grinning wickedly.
Umino was suddenly glad for the crazy glasses. It made it harder to read his eyes. He didn’t want anyone to see the fact that his gaze had momentarily been fixed upon the blonde’s luscious lips. His attention was pulled from Usagi’s mouth as Rei suddenly smacked her on the head.
“I was gonna eat that, baka.”
“No you weren’t. You hate tomatoes.”
“So what? Maybe my tastes changed over the summer.”
“Did they?”
“Only when it comes to roommates.”
“Low blow.”
Rei smiled primly. “True, though. Why did I allow myself to be attached at the hip for another year? You steal my clothes, get sticky fingers all over my manga, and beg for help whenever you don’t feel like doing your homework.”
“Yeah, well, you’re just a spoiled Prima Donna. Who cares what you think, anyway?”
Standing up, Rei glared down at her roommate. “You wanna say that again, Blondie?”
Pushing back her chair, Usagi stood as well. “Sure. You’re—”
“Usagi, Rei. Sit down. You’re making a scene.” Naru blotted the corner of her lips with a napkin and frowned at the warring duo. “Y’all are going to scare Umi.”
“Nah, it’s cool.” Umino stared at Naru. “You’re from Osaka?”
“Yeah. It has nothing to do with my family name, though. How’d you know?”
“You said y’all.” *—1
“Oh. Yeah, I’ll lose the twang in a few weeks and it’ll come back when I go home again.” She smiled sweetly. Her smile transformed her face into one that was striking and captivating. Her appearance was a deceptive one; it seemed there was more there than what initially met the eye. “Where are you from?”
“Tokyo.”
“Really? So are Usagi and Rei.” She glanced across the table at the two girls currently ensnared in a war of the tongues, complete with pie-eyes and scrunched noses. “Could you two be any more immature? Seriously. Grow up or get another table. You’re such an embarrassment.”
“I find them to be rather entertaining.” Mamoru leaned back with a grin, lazily running his eyes across their mottled faces. “It’s not every day you get to see a cat fight utilizing tongues instead of claws.”
Flipping a pigtail indignantly, Usagi stated, “Rei uses her claws to pull my hair constantly. This is mild,” she stated as she shot him a cold stare. “Besides, should you be looking at another girl’s tongue when your girlfriend is sitting right beside you?”
Grinning roguishly, Mamoru dropped his arm against the back of Umino’s chair. “Nah, Umi here doesn’t mind, do you sweetie?”
Kicking at Mamoru’s ankle and squirming uncomfortably, Umino managed not to twist his friend’s arm around and body-slam him to the ground. Smiling tightly, he leaned forward, trying to unobtrusively maneuver himself away from his so-called friend. Changing the topic, he mused, “If you don’t get along, why didn’t you get a roommate change after finding out that you were incompatible?”
Usagi and Rei looked at each other and laughed. Wiping the tears from her eyes, Usagi stated, “Believe it or not, we’re friends. This is just how we communicate. It’s crazy, but it’s just our way.”
Rei nodded in agreement and shrugged nonchalantly. “What she said. Besides, after the first year, we can pick our own roommates. That way, we’re not stuck with someone we don’t like. The only reason you were able to nab half of Naru’s room this late in the year was because her roomie had to go on an emergency nine-month leave of absence.”
“Nine months—oh!” Umino’s eyes widened. “Isn’t this an all-girl’s school?”
Rei gave a lofty scoff. “Well, yeah, but it doesn’t mean we can never leave campus or have visitors. Of course, guests aren’t allowed to stay overnight and you’re not allowed out after curfew if you don’t have special permission, but there are ways around it. I mean, even I know that sex doesn’t only occur at night. I swear, they treat us like ignorant children.”
Sensing that the day’s debate had died out, Naru pushed back her chair. “I’m going to show Umi where the office is so she can get her school and gym uniforms before it closes for the day. After that, y’all can stop by and gab some more if you want. Umi still has a lot to unpack, though, right?”
“It’s not that much. Besides, Mamo-chan here can help me finish up.” Umino smiled internally as his friend tried not to grimace at the new nickname. If Mamoru wanted to play dirty, he had to know he couldn’t escape unscathed.
“Aw, Mamo-chan? How cute!” Naru’s eyes glittered and Umino could almost see her pupils dilate and form hearts. She sighed wistfully. “I wish I had a boyfriend to give a pet name to.” Standing, she picked up her purse and glanced over at Umino. “Okay, let’s go.”
Umino stood and would have followed her out, but Naru stopped him with a puzzled look. “You know, it’s okay to kiss your boyfriend goodbye,” she smiled and a dimple appeared in her cheek. “We won’t get jealous or anything. Well, maybe a little, but it’s cool.”
Umino’s face paled and he glanced over at Mamoru to see that his friend looked similarly pole-axed. Clearing his throat, he managed to stutter, “Uh, no, that’s all right. I mean, uh—let’s just go before the office closes, okay?” he bolted for the door without bothering to look back.
Leaning against the wall outside the cafeteria as he waited for Naru to show up, he breathed deeply and raised his fist to his racing heart. “That was close.”
Thanking his lucky stars as Naru came out to join him without questioning his earlier behavior, Umino inwardly let out a sigh of relief. He’d puzzle over how to prevent a similar situation from arising again on the way to the office.
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Cultural Note #1: In the Japanese version of the anime, Naru had a strong Osakan accent (which is probably why she had an accent in the dub, too). Trying to imitate that nuance of the show, I have her use Southern dialect such as “Y’all,” even though I’m aware it’s not the same thing. It still gets the message across, ne?
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