Chapter One: For You
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Midnight black hair gleamed in the early evening sunlight, as he paced furiously through the beaten paths of Inchinohashi Park, contemplating over the crazy day he had. First he had run into her, well truth be told she had run into him, and he couldn’t keep his mouth shut, he just had to go and insult her. He felt so bad as he saw those silent tears running down her face, these tears were different somehow, he had made her cry in the past but it had always been through wailing that she had told the world she was hurt, these silent sobs were somehow more emotional and made him feel worse than he normally would have.
People who encountered the young high school student kept their distance because the fire in his eyes scared them off not to mention the dark cloud that hung over his head seemed to threaten to cling to them and ruin their day. He noticed that people kept their distance but it didn’t seem to matter that was the way he liked it, he liked his privacy. He didn’t want to get hurt, didn’t want a broken heart, but somehow this golden haired child had wormed her way into his heart when he wasn’t looking and now he couldn’t rip her out. Truth be told he loved her more than he could ever explain to himself or to anyone, more than anything he wanted to tell her what he felt, that he knew everything about her alter ego, and that he didn’t care. But he knew that could never happen, because then he would have to explain to her who she was and no matter what he felt for her she could never love him, she would only hate him all the more.
Oh yes, she had claimed to love Tuxedo Mask and that had pleased him, but if she found that her dashing Tuxedo Mask was no other than grumpy Darien she would end up hating them both. After all it wouldn’t be everyday that you found out the man you loved was also the man you claimed to hate. Darien was depressed, the fire in his deep blue eyes calmed and he walked towards the rose bushes, he would have to keep thinking. He knew he loved her, knew deep down inside himself that nothing would make him happier than to hear her tell him that she felt the same, but that was only a dream and there were more things obstructing him than just this. It was at this exact moment that he felt her transform, felt the panic in her transformation, knew that this time he had to get to her fast, so he followed his link to her.
The once beautiful scenery of the park was one of devastation, there where piles of stone and tufts of grass littered every which way. The roses were broken lying on the soil, there was pieces of broken glass from who knows where, and a pile of ashes that was the poor, misguided youma that had decided to collect energy at this park. He had been there countless times without the Tuxedo and mask but never once had it ever looked like this. Why oh why did these battles always take place in the park, the poor gardeners would have to work overtime to fix this mess, because this had been one serious battle... which reminded him, how could she have taken such a stupid risk.
It had been another battle, he had arrived minutes before the battle ended, and he had seen her take on the youma all on her own, instead of running as she would've normally done she stood her ground and fought the youma, this in itself made him proud. But that did not keep him from being angry, after all she had risked her life and had not bothered to call in her Senshi to help protect her. He jumped from the tree he was so conveniently hidden in and landed before her.
Standing before her is hard, she's like a living star, a guiding light in my world of darkness. I can't imagine my life without her, since the first day I've met her. Her deep cerulean eyes drown me nearly every time, and every time I looked into them I nearly lost my bearings and my duty and wanted to hold her in my arms to make her feel better, and to kiss all her tears away, so that she never had a care in the world.
But I can never hold her and I can never show her my emotions, I am barred from her as she is forbidden to me. As the guardian of Earth, she is powerful and untouchable, the Protector of this Solar system. She is like an avenging angel, if you harm one of hers' then heaven help the poor soul who crossed her, she's a formidable enemy one who's very being holds the innocence and wisdom of the ages and the galaxy. What he would say next to her he did not want to say but he needed her to be more responsible with her own life, what he would give just to be more involved in these battles that she was in, but he could only come in when he was absolutely needed. He looked anywhere but at those deep blue eyes, for he knew that if he did then he would not be able to tell her what he needed to and he would be hard pressed to stop his natural instincts from taking over.
"Where are your Senshi?!" his voice thundered around her, it was deep and extremely pissed off. "Why are they not here to protect you?!" she could feel him glaring at her even through the mask that obscured half of his face, the mask that after most battles she wanted to rip off, just so she could see his face.
"Um-well, I um, kinda forgot my communicator..." she managed to stutter at him, she was shamefaced and looking at the ground while scuffing her foot like an errant child being chastised, her cheeks had grown pink and her eyes were glittering with unshed tears.
"You forgot it! How can you forget your communicator?!" he shouted at her. He was now beyond mad, how could she forget the communicator that kept her in touch with her Senshi and called them to her when she needed them most, the girl had to be the most aggravating and forgetful female that he had ever met in his life. She was a complete and total klutz how could she possibly be Sailor Moon. Sure she had the biggest heart and the purest intentions he had ever seen in a girl as young as her but that would not always protect her from trouble.
His anger was almost tangible, she could feel it encircling her and she didn't have a clue as to what she should do. "It was an accident, I was late for school this morning and I ran out of the house for fear of getting detention which I narrowly missed getting anyways. It was an accident, one that will never happen again, that much I can promise you." her voice was soft and filled with shame, shame that she had failed her duty once more as the guardian of Earth.
"Do you realize how close you came to getting killed by that youma?!" he barked at her and without realizing it he had grabbed her shoulders and had begun to shake her, willing to make her understand in that form.
"But I wasn't was I?" was the smart retort that left her lips as she gazed up at him, defiant to his words and his will. It had been an accident one that she did not care to repeat, didn't he realize how scared she had been, how she hadn't wanted to do again. But in the end she had come out of the experience alright and hadn't she just proven how she could defeat a youma without the need of her Senshi.
"That doesn't matter, you could've been, don't you realize that you are needed?! You are the only one who has the power to destroy the Negaverse." his voice was getting angrier by the second, but what she did not know was that in truth he was scared, scared senseless that he could've lost her, if she was lost what would be left for him to hang onto. She was his only lifeline, the only one who kept him going. "If you are lost who will be left to protect this world and her people?! Don't you understand your death would wreak havoc on the world, and who would be left to hold back the Negaverse from taking over completely?!" he demanded to know of her, she needed to understand that she was the only Scout powerful enough to defeat the Negaverse, the only one endowed with the wisdom and the power to save Earth from being conquered. What he didn't realize was that his fingers had begun to dig into the delicate flesh of her arms.
"Look Tux Boy! I never asked to be Sailor Moon. Kami knows I didn't want it but No, it was my damn destiny to be the Champion of Love and Justice, when all I wanted was a normal life." she shouted, and she knew she was being unfair by dumping this on him and yelling at him for what he could not help, but it was just too much for her. Why couldn't he congratulate her just once instead of insulting her? Sure, he came in and saved her a couple of roses and a speech or two and then he left her alone again. She surveyed the scene of destruction and wished that there could be something that she could do to help the poor gardeners, maybe she could volunteer to help them, but right now she had to deal with a certain annoyingly handsome super hero that was beginning to grate her nerves.
She was seething at him and he grew frightened as she looked every inch the avenger she truly was and looked like she was about ready to smite him where he stood. He had never known that, he had always thought that she had a choice in whether she wanted to be the Sailor Scout of the Moon. Had he known that she was thrown into much like he had been, he might have been kinder to her. He knew how it felt to be tossed by fate when all you wanted was a chance at a normal life. And now he might very well have ruined any chances he had with her.
"It must make you feel so safe and warm to know that I am the Guardian and Protector of this world. Tell me, Tuxedo Mask, do you sleep safely in bed your bed, does it comfort you to know that I am the almighty Sailor Moon, the biggest klutz on the planet and the worst fighter?! Do you want to know what I think?!" she asked him, completely intent on his face, "What am I when compared to the other Scouts?! I am nothing, my power is nowhere near theirs. Mars has fire, Mercury has water and ice, and Jupiter has her lightening and thunder, while Venus has her meteors and whip, and what do I get to use?! A stupid flimsy frisbee and wand! So if I were to die Tux, it wouldn't be as bad and Earth would not lose its protectors, she has enough with those four, she does not need me as well!"
She was angry and she knew that she was being unfair to him but it was with relief that she finally lashed out at someone, even if they didn’t deserve it. Didn’t he know that she wasn’t as sure as everyone thought Sailor Moon was, after all, she hadn’t been born with this knowledge, Luna and Central had dumped this all on her. She was truly irritated and was getting ready to leap away from him.
How could she think that? How could she think that she is powerless and worthless when compared with the others? She holds more worth than she believes she does. She's wallowing in self pity but why? Sailor Moon, how can I show you how much you truly mean and your true worth? Have I failed you that much as your protector? He thought sadly as she leaped into the sky and left him standing alone in the deserted and recently destroyed park. He watched her as she sped away from him and then he left the park to head to his own home in the opposite direction that she had taken.
An apartment not to far away...
Darien slammed his palm against the walls of his apartment, he could still hear the self loathing in Sailor Moon's voice as she spoke of herself. No, she shouldn't be allowed to think those things of herself. Gods, how he wished he could've comforted her instead of being angry with her. The dark green walls of his apartment that usually comforted him did not have the same effect this night.
He walked out onto the balcony of his apartment, how he wished that he could hold her in his arms and kiss her hurt away but then as her protector he could never do that to her, it would compromise their missions. And the Princess, what of her?
What about her? A voice in his mind asked, she's only a dream, Sailor Moon is real as is her other identity as Serena Tsukino, are they not one and the same and they are more real than the princess can ever be. She only lives in your dreams and does not exist in this realm of reality.
"Damn it all to hell!" he cried out to the distant moon. He would have to show her how much he cared for her and show her that she was worth far more than she obviously thought she was. But now the only question is when?... “For you Sailor Moon, I would do anything…” he whispered softly his voice fading into the cold of the night.
Definitions:
smite- to hit hard; to strike with hand, fist, weapon, etc.; to defeat; to afflict; v.i. to strike.
tangible- perceptible by the touch; palpable; concrete.
