Chapter 10: “Dilemma”
I was facing a dilemma. My mind did not want to believe the vision I had seen but my heart said the opposite. Deep down, I had always known that something was amiss, but I had ignored it and went on with my life. Now, everything made sense to me. I’ve realized why I didn’t look like my (foster) parents or had any resemblance to my brother (even though he isn’t really my brother). I understood why I felt so weak all the time- it was because of the virus in my body, which was slowly killing me, eating away at my cells and organs. I also understood why I hardly saw Kreons at all—they were afraid of me.
I wondered if the father who abandoned me was alive or not and what my biological mother looked like. I wondered if I had any real brothers or sisters. I wondered how long I was going to live.
This raging storm in my mind made me sink in to a reverie. I spent hours leaning on the melancholy willow tree, staring blankly into the clean waters of the river. Its leaves swayed in a light breeze making a soft, crunching sound. The environment would’ve made anyone calm. It was a sharp contrast to what was going on in my mind. The wind roared, the sky an ominous black, and lightning bellowed in my mind, and outside, the sky was a light shade of blue, with milky-white clouds rolling lazily in it and a gentle sweet-smelling breeze filled up my nostrils. This serene environment did anything but calm me. It only made the tempest in my mind stronger as I thought how the scenery was nothing but a fake.
I was distracted to such and extent that I didn’t notice Alex quietly sit beside me. It was only when he slipped his hand in mine and gave it a light squeeze that I noticed his presence. As soon as I did however, I slid my hand away from his and moved farther away from him.
He remained quiet for a while, his eyes searching my face for something. I wondered what they were searching for- gloom, doubt or perhaps fear. Nonetheless, we remained quiet, him, gazing at me with those sharp blue eyes of his, while I stared at the ground with my hazel ones.
“Trinity, listen to me…” he said softly.
Emotion flowed in his voice, which made me look up at him.
“All this isn’t your fault,” he said, “Whatever happens, I’m here for you. So stop acting like you’ve heard a terrible secret and can’t confide in anyone.”
“You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew what was running in my blood,” I blurted out even though I didn’t want to say that.
“But I do know that and I’m still saying it. Your brother made a copy of that vision tablet so actually, I saw everything he told you.”
Looking at the surprise in my eyes, he laughed.
“And you really thought that all your friends would abandon you when you need them the most? Trinity, I thought you were more—”
“I didn’t think that,” I interrupted, “If you saw the vision then you know that the virus is in my blood. You’d also know that it’s multiplying and a large number is fatal to humans and Kreons. So I thought—”
“—that you would infect us…I see.” finished Alex for me.
He sat thoughtful for a while and burst into laughter again.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
Looking at my flustered face, he laughed harder. I was at a loss and very annoyed.
When he finally stopped, he was panting for breath.
“Oh God…that felt good,” he said, “Sorry, I couldn’t control myself.”
“Could you please share the hilarious joke with me?” I asked sardonically.
“I’d love to,” he said, smiling at my mocking tone, “Trinity, a virus isn’t that easy to spread. This one can only be spread by blood transfusion. Even then, it would take years to kill a human because only a small amount gets into the blood and it has to grow.”
“I didn’t know that…” I murmured.
“Yeah, that was the funny part. Here you are, moping around the place for no apparent reason.”
“I’m not moping around (Alex raised an eyebrow). Okay, fine, sorry.” I said.
Alex leaned in closer to me and whispered, “You know, I really liked that kiss. Why don’t we try it again?”
“Alex!” I lightly pushed him away, laughing.
“Why not?” he asked pouting.
“Because,” I stood up and backed away from him, “you’re a bad a kisser.”
“Hey! What the—I am not a bad kisser!” he stood up too.
“Yes you are!” I cried and ran in the opposite direction.
“Oh no you don’t. I’ll get you for that!” he said and ran after me.
I was a good runner but Alex easily caught up with me. He held me in his arms while I tried in vain to escape from his grasp. We were both laughing the whole time but it stopped as soon as we realized how close we were standing together. The thought sent shivers down my spine.
All this time, anything that had happened between me and Alex was playful and frolicsome, like a joke. It had never been serious. But, today, as I gazed in to Alex's eyes, I knew that he wasn't joking.
I was stunned by the intensity of Alex's gaze. It was full of passion, ardor, desire; it was full of love.
Alex held me in this gaze for a while and then, as if coming to his senses, he shook his head and let go of me.
“We-we should tell the others,” he said, averting my eyes.
“W-What?” I stammered, not being able to recover quickly.
“You know…the virus. They should know,” said Alex, still staring at the ground.
“R-Right.”
We walked back to our quarters with an awkward silence between us. Never before had I felt so tongue-tied around anyone.
