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General Library: The Angel that brought Hope by DarkAngel

Fandom:	Original Fiction
Rating:	PG	Created:	2008-12-06
Genre:	General	Updated:	2008-12-25
Style:	Science Fiction	Status:	Incomplete
Setting:	Alternate Universe

Read:

Belonging to a different time (PHP)
Kreons (PHP)
The Newcomer (PHP)
Annoying Alex (PHP)
The Truth (PHP)
Pain (PHP)
Suspicions (PHP)
Lost Memories (PHP)
Infected (PHP)
Dilemma (PHP)
The decision (PHP)
Runaway (PHP)
A single black tear (PHP)
The outside world (PHP)
Shock (PHP)

Summary:

Earth is not what everyone hoped it to be. Of course everyone wanted a world where there would be peace, love and harmony. However, for the people who live in the year 2099, that's where it ends. Everyone wants it, everyone dreams about it, but no one hopes for it, because it doesn't exist. That's where I come in, a 16 year old girl, living the life I had never wanted to live.. Of course, hoping for a different world is out of the question. It's been 16 years since the war and anyone would be crazy to think that humans would dominate the world again, and I've accepted it anyway...Suddenly, he comes into my almost normal life and changes everything. But is this change for better or for worse?

Author's Comments:

This is my first original fiction. I've posted this in fictioncentral.net too, so don't think it's been plagiarized or anything.

Reviews: 1
View All Reviews

Review by Dejana Talis

2008-12-08

I've been doing a lot of reading lately on what makes good original fiction, so I hope this review isn't too harsh.

The key thing to remember is the old "show, don't tell" mantra. There are two basic ways I think you could apply this motto that would really improve your story.

First, I'd suggest starting with the dream sequence. Write out the actual experience of the dream while the character is dreaming it, as if it were real, instead of telling what it was about ... (more)

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