"We wanted to know, we had to know. And I've spent every day since praying for amnesia; to forget; to look in the mirror just once without seeing the monster inside my soul. There is nothing more terrifying (and please consider the youma, cardigans, and variety of evil beings, that are being considered when I say terrifying) then knowing exactly how far you're willing to go to get a job done.”- Zoisite, Rittou Yasanori -x-
Zoisite paced furiously in his apartment. It had been fortunate, and through excellent computer skills, that four apartments in Mamoru-sama's building had become available for rent around the time the Shitennou recovered their memories. And so, he could run to any one of his brothers or his liege and ask for advice, but he only felt that this would end badly. Ami-chan had called. She was on her way over. Just to stop by for a minute and ask a question, the message had said. He had played it maybe forty times, trying to trap the melodious sound her voice within his mind, and failing miserably. And so, Zoisite paced. It had been nearly three months since he had seen her - since everyone's memory of the Silver Millennium had been fully restored. The Shitennou immediately dispersed from the house they had been sharing to the apartment building. They both felt a need to be away from each other and to be closer to Mamoru – a gesture meant to show they would not fail as they had during the Silver Millennium. At first, Zoisite had shut himself away for over a week; flashes of stolen kisses and sword fights blinding him and making him angry and unwilling to go outside. More then once he had found himself entranced and trapped in his memories, attacking doors. Jadeite had caught him kissing the fridge, trapped in a particularly sensual memory of the Princess of Mercury, and he certainly hadn't gotten over that terrifying experience. He hadn't thought having the memories would affect him so, but it looking in the mirror became harder every day, as he became more and more aware of the exact details of the horrors he had done under the orders of Beryl and Metalia. The idea of facing Ami right now made him nervous. He had seriously considered the idea that she was coming to kill him, which would be perfectly fine by him, but didn't see the rationalization behind it for Ami. So he found himself pacing and wondering why she was coming. She hadn't sounded angry, but light and calm. There wasn't even a particular emotion behind it, and perhaps that was the reason the message frightened him so. He wasn't sure if she was coming to kill him or kiss him. He was unfortunately quite sure that the first was much more likely to happen.
And so, he paced.
He wasn't sure what her reaction to their memories was. When the crystal's magic first entered their minds, they were all knocked unconscious. When they awoke, Zoisite and Jadeite had left and parted ways – so he had little information as to how any of the Senshi reacted.
He felt his memories explained many things – his attraction to Ami, how he had become evil in the first place and why he was so irrationally terrified of keys. The Shitennou seemed to lapse into a week long hermit state – they didn't leave their apartments until Mamoru got them all in a room, through use of pots, loud noises and threats.
Zoisite had cried. He had wept angrily and thrown things about and thrashed uncomfortably when he realized what had happened. He was physically ill for days. When Mamoru had finally broken into his apartment a week later, he found Zoisite lying in his bed, the mirror shattered and empty ramen cartons spread round the room. Zoisite's hair hadn't been combed in days. Mamoru (politely) physically threw Zoi into the shower and turned the water on. He had proceeded to scrub his hair and clean up Zoisite, get him dressed and drag him out into the sunlight.
Zoi found himself wondering if Mamoru had taken similar actions with the other three, but didn't feel comfortable asking.
In the weeks since, Kunzite – now Riku, had them awake and jogging at six AM every morning as well as working out at a gym on weekly basis. He, Nephrite and Jadeite (now Kenji and Daisuke, respectively) had all found jobs and Zoisite was attempting to enrol in university alongside Mamoru. Jadeite had been offered the chance to accompany them and take up studies, but he said he found himself much more at home with the construction company he had convinced to give him a temporary job.
The one thing Zoisite hated most were the names. Going by names of minerals was rather...suspicious. Or odd, at least. It drew attention, Kunzite said. So now, he had four new names to adapt to. Of course, using the names they had become evil traitors under wasn't exactly a happy feeling. But Zoisite had been going by Zoisite for over two millennium – it was hard to think of himself, or any of the others, by their new names. But they had all decided that if they were going to restart, new names were in order.
By the time Zoisite had come to the conclusion that his incessant pacing was frivolous and not helping his agitation, he grabbed the book off his coffee table – A Detailed History of Spain, and pulled his bookmark (the receipt for the delivery of his couch) when he heard a soft knock at the door.
He opened the door to see Ami-chan intently studying the name on the door. “Rittou Yasanori...” she whispered softly, reading the engraving aloud.
“Zoisite sounds rather odd as a name,” he muttered softly. She blinked slowly, and the petite bluenette nodded. He motioned silently for her to enter his apartment, which she did. He closed the door behind her. “Can I get you a drink, Mizuno-san?”
“Water would be lovely.” He headed to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge. “There's no need to be so formal, however, Zoisite-san. Or would you prefer Rittou-san?” He returned swiftly with a glass and handed it to her.
“You can call me Zoisite, or Yasanori, if you want.” You don't even have to use an honorific, you can call me anything you'd like...“Do you still dehydrate?” He was babbling, and speaking far too quickly to enunciate.
“I'm sorry?” Ami was confused. Didn't everyone get dehydrated from time to time?
“You used to dehydrate very easily. It was part of your connection to water in your past life,” He explained quickly.
She nodded, again. “Not as easily as I did in my past life, but I do still feel a strong connection to it. My powers aren't nearly as potent as I remember them being.” She smiled politely, biting her lower lip.
Zoisite tapped his foot on the floor softly, counting the beats of silence in his head. It was the rest of eternity – silence was only interesting in a piano minuet for so long. Ami had gulped down her water insanely quickly, giving her something of a distraction for a moment.
Ami was chewing her lip, looking at the wall behind Zoisite's head. Looking anywhere but at Zoisite, really. She lifted one hand to her mouth, subconsciously moving to bite her nails, but yanking her hand away from her face and blushing softly as soon as she realized what she was doing.
Zoisite chuckled as he watched her tug her hand down and put it behind her back – he had a very similar urge to bite his nails himself. “So, Ami-san, what can I do for you?”
“Ah, yes!” Ami knelt to the ground, fumbling with the latches of her briefcase. She rustled through her files quickly, sifting through papers and various other folders.
“Ami-san?” Zoisite questioned, after a minute or so of wondering what she was digging up.
“Oh-I,” Ami started to answer as she lifted neatly organized files. She was holding the one she needed in her hand already, but she wanted to take her time. “I wanted to ask you for a favour, actually.”
Zoisite's heart leapt into his mouth. Anything. I'll run to the end of the Earth and back and I'll write you love songs and I'll ask your father's permission and I'll build you a house...or I'll make Jed build us a house, and I'll father-
His thoughts were cut off by Ami standing and closing her briefcase. “I'd like a sample of your DNA. I'm trying to study the physiology differences between the Shitennou, the Senshi and non-magically enabled persons,”
Zoisite shook his head. This was why she had called him? This was what she wanted? He stopped listening after she realized it wasn't him she had come here for. It was the possibility of furthering her knowledge.
And so, he grabbed a few strands of hair from his hairbrush and swabbed the inside of his mouth with a q-tip. He placed them in the bag she had given him.
“Did you want a urine sample, too, Mizuno-san?” He asked coldly.
The ice in his voice surprised Ami. She blinked. It was unexpected, though she supposed that some people felt that science was invasive, and it was entirely possible that Yasanori-san was particular about his DNA.
She shook her head. “No, that's all I need.” She bowed quickly, looking at the floor and her hair hanging in her eyes. “Thank you, Yasanori-san.” She left quickly, and she jumped a little when she heard the door slam behind her.
He had fell against the door after slamming it, his hands in his hair and his eyes closed. He fell slowly to a sitting position on the floor, staring off into space and daydreaming about a girl who seemed like water.
-x-
Mina sighed as she stared at the yellow note pad sitting next to the phone in her apartment. She tapped a pencil nearby impatiently.
No one called. When she and Makoto had started the catering business, she had assumed they'd be a huge success. Most kids their age had gone to university, but Makoto couldn't afford cooking school (and she was good enough on her own, Minako thought), and Minako hadn't bothered applying – she wasn't smart enough. Rei and Ami were happy in university, with Rei studying philosophy, and Ami was on an expedited program to getting a PhD. and a M.D. Minako had barely paid her bills the last month. Haruka and Michiru had ended up being their biggest customers, calling them to help with benefits or private concert dinners. That was rare, but it was helpful, and Minako was eternally grateful.
Makoto had found a part time job as a chef in a small restaurant across town, and Motoki-kun had taken pity on Minako and given her a job at the Crown as a waitress.
Her dreams of being an idol had somehow...disintegrated over the years. The years of fighting youma and the various dramas the Senshi endured. And so, while Minako still loved acting and singing and auditioned for various theatre performances, and even actually ended up on stage a fair bit of the time, she wasn't delusional to think that she could get by living on a job-to-job basis, which is what the catering business ended up being half of the time, and thus the waitressing job came in handy.
And so she stuffed her apron in her bag and ran out of her apartment, forgetting to lock the door on her way out. Artemis was rarely home, despite the fact that she kept cat food, a litter box and that she slept with her feet curled up so he could fit in the crook of her legs at night. She was going to be late to work; she realized this fact as she pulled all of her hair up into a messy ponytail and chipped the last bit of the red nail polish off of her thumb nail.
By the time she had walked to the Crown and bustled out onto the floor, nametag and apron displayed...well, not proudly, as it wasn't with pride but with lack of dignity that Minako found herself working here, but displayed none the less.
She turned to the first booth in her section, pen and pad of paper in hand.
“Hi there, can I take your order?” And so the day would go, scribbling down orders with mental notes in her head, serving coffee and sundaes and the occasional treat. If she was lucky, some of the girls would come in and she'd be able to have someone cheer her up.
She moved to the corner booth in her section, and started her opening lines, only to be cut short.
“Hey Minako-san.” She looked up and smiled.
“Jadeite-san.” She stood against the side of the booth he wasn't sitting on. She found it odd that his four counterparts weren't with him, but she'd accept that they might be at lunch or whichever.
“Please, Minako-san, Daisuke in public. Our formal names don't exactly put ease to any bad feelings about us. So, please, call me Dai-kun.” He smiled and she found it hard not to trust him. Her memories didn't indicate any tentative friendship in their past lives, and they had been acquaintances at most before her memories were returned to her.
Her memories of his past self, however, conflicted her openness to a potential friend. After all, he had engaged in an affair with Sailor Mars in the past and later turned traitor joining Beryl's cause.
She bit her lip. “I suppose you are civilians now,” she whispered. He smirked at her and cocked his head to one side.
“I'm as much a civilian as you are, Minako-san.” He replied with a casual smirk. She shook her head -feeling a strong urge to grimace, but fighting it all the same.
“Can I get you anything?” She asked.
Daisuke looked at her, concern in his eyes. She may hate him, but he didn't return the feelings quite so easily – he didn't have a reason to, where as she was fully justified in being angry with him and his fellow Shitennou.
As much as he wanted to start a new life, to work and settle down and wait for Crystal Tokyo, he couldn't. He couldn't make the past go away and he couldn't force the Senshi to accept his presence anymore then he would fully assume they weren't trying to kill him. He was still a little suspicious – especially of Rei, who had attempted to light him on fire at least six times since they had be reintroduced.
Like she hadn't done that enough in their last life.
But Minako...she looked tired. Exhausted, really. Like everything she'd been fighting for since she was thirteen meant so little at the end of the day and he sighed. He'd been dead for years – he was well rested. Minako looked like she hadn't slept in a month.
“Can I have a cup of coffee? Black?” She nodded and started to walk away. “Minako-san?” He wanted to say something, to comfort her or make the hurt of the memories fade away some how. It seemed wrong that she be so broken – a woman full of happiness and delight torn to shreds and hurt so deeply.
The words didn't come. “Make it two cups? Sugar and cream on the side?” She nodded and walked away to fetch the coffee.
Her golden hair shimmered behind her, the ponytail bobbing a little, traditional bright red bow on top of the pile of locks of sunflower yellow as always. He sighed. Some things never changed.
He looked up to see another man slide in to the booth across from him. His silver hair was tied to the back of his head easily, and his tan skin was starting to show a rather dusty brown look now that the summer was fading. A strong jaw, broad shoulders and perfect posture gave the impression that Kunzite had been giving off ever since Jadeite first met him – a man he would willingly follow to the grave and beyond.
“Did you order yet, Dai-kun?” He asked. Daisuke nodded and smiled.
“I'm still impressed how easily you switched over to the new names, you know.” He moved one arm up to rest on the back of the booth, his fingers twitching.
“Names can reveal very little or very much about a person – I consider it only a modernization that we should all adjust to. I haven't found it difficult, but Yasa-kun seems rather bitter about it.”
Jadeite laughed and tossed his head back. “Well Riku-chan, I suppose we might pull off this assimilation thing after all,” he smiled at his leader.
“We just might, Dai-kun, we just might.” Kunzite nodded back.
As the men were examining the menus, Minako walked back over, balancing two cups of coffee in plain white mugs on a dark tray, and she stopped in front of their table. She pushed the two steaming cups onto the table, followed by sugar packets and creamers.
“Are you ready to order, Daisuke-san?” She blinked, pulling her pad and pen out of her apron and flipped a stray hair behind her ear. Looking up to Jadeite’s face, she blinked slowly, her gaze turning to his dining companion.
Her pad dropped to the floor and her eyes widened. Her mouth opened oh so slightly and she inhaled sharply.
“Minako-san, you may recall, my friend, Yagami Riku?” Jadeite whispered softly. The man in question bent down slowly, picking up the pad of paper and offered it up to her. She took it wordlessly.
Their eyes met; silver and sapphire, the calm and the storm, watching each other intently, as if waiting for the other to react, and yet finding little reaction from either.
“Of course. Can I take your order, Yagami-san?” Her voice was barely over a whisper, but all three parties heard the restrained tension and forced calm in her voice.
“The club sandwich, please, no tomato.” She nodded and turned to Daisuke.
“Clam chowder, Minako-san and extra crackers, please. I’ll probably need to throw some of them at Riku-chan.” She nodded and scribbled it down and then scurried away.
Kunzite watched her walk away, bringing his coffee cup to his mouth and drinking it black, while watching Jadeite out of the corner of his eye, who then dumped copious amounts of sugar into his cup and stirring it quickly. He turned to watch his comrade, setting his cup down in front of him slowly.
“Did you know she worked here?” He asked calmly.
“As much as you did,” Daisuke accused. Kunzite blinked. “Neither of us are stupid, Riku-chan. So don’t pretend to be so. You profiled every single Senshi, as much as you were able to.” Kunzite pondered this for a moment. Jadeite had always been analytical and observant, but he had rarely spoken so directly or in such an accusatory manner.
“I was aware, but was still curious as to why you wanted to meet me here, of all places.”
“One, the location is convenient. Its two blocks from my construction site, and I have to be back in an hour. Two, it’s also informal, so I can come here during my break and not have to worry about being underdressed.” Riku nodded, they were sensible answers. However, sensibility and Jadeite were not two things he often associated together. Sneakiness, though, was completely normal and expected.
“Three?” He asked, suspecting an alternate motive.
“Three, if I didn’t force you two to look at each other, the two of you would avoid speaking for the rest of this life. And I think that seeing her puts something at ease for you, no matter how small that something may be.”
Riku didn’t display an emotion, and his face didn’t betray his feelings in anyway. As Kunzite, he had learned full control of his body, including displays of emotion or weakness. It was something he easily employed now, during what he classified as his third life.
“You still shouldn’t have done it.” He finally answered.
Daisuke nodded, the corners of his mouth twisting up into a smile. They sat in silence until their food came, Minako nodding, asking if they needed anything else, and taking off when they denied needing anything.
Minako immediately walked back through the kitchens into the store room. She wrapped her arms around herself, slumped to the floor and squeezed her eyes tight, fighting back tears.
-x-
Rei sat in front of the great fire, sweating profusely. Her legs were folded under her body, and her hands were posed upwards in front of her face. Her eyes were closed, and she chanted slowly.
The fire battered images at her. Jadeite, kissing her behind a tree. Crying out while she and Jadeite made love. Jadeite defending their affair to Kunzite. Confessing her love for Jadeite to Serenity. Dancing with Jadeite. The announcement that the Shitennou were leaving to enter the war on Earth, marching off to their doom. Spending Jadeite’s last night on the moon having loud, passionate, mind blowing sex in both of their chambers…
“Ah!” She cried out, ripping her eyes open, gasping. He was all she ever saw now – every time she prayed to the fire, it only showed her images of him. Constantly. She woke up every night, sweating and panting, thighs wet and stomach tight, trying to will away the images of her body intertwined with the King of the Far East.
And so, she prayed for answers, and still all she saw was Jadeite. And sometimes Daisuke, his modern incarnation, laughing, or flashes of that day weeks ago when he slid his hands into her robes and gripped her sides, pulling him flush against her. Scene after scene of them together, happy and in love in the past, or indulging in lust in the future – which every time she saw, she swore she would never let come true.
Rei stood and left the room slowly, still breathing heavily. She moved slowly, dazed, towards her room. She slid the door open and moved inside. Her eyes never left the floor in front of her. She reached to the ties of her robes and tugged, letting the large white coat fall to the floor easily. Closing her eyes, she felt her hand drop to the scar, pink and prominent. Just between her breasts, a sharp point with two small extensions, equal on each side.
She bit down sharply on her tongue as she remembered the pain of her own arrowhead piercing through her breastbone, lungs gasping for air as they filled with blood and she died slowly. Usagi hadn’t been wrong about how hard it would be to see the past.
She dressed slowly, pulling on a pair of old jeans and a dark long sleeved shirt. She opened her door rapidly and stepped outside quickly, discarding her slippers for a pair of sneakers.
“Rei-chan,” she whipped her head up to see Makoto standing there, looking tired and worn.
“Mako-chan, sorry, I know I’m running late...” Rei began to apologize but the taller girl held up a hand to stop her.
“No worries, Rei-chan, I’m early.” She smiled and held out the parcel she was holding; a small container wrapped in a small blue tie. “I brought lunch.”
The miko nodded and the two girls moved to the steps of the shrine, sitting comfortably and pulling out the food.
Rei was silent as she unfolded the food Makoto handed her. She grabbed a pair of chopsticks and poked at her sushi.
Makoto sighed and folded her hands in her lap, watching her friend. “You look tired, Rei-chan. Are you not sleeping?”
The priestess shrugged. “Memories,” she answered. Makoto nodded and bit her lip.
Rei didn’t offer up any more information, but Makoto felt a need to give her friend something.
“Mine is on my back,” Makoto started. “It was a dagger – one I gave him. Suiting, I suppose.” She took a deep breath. It was extremely painful for her to talk about everything she had remembered from her past life, but she honestly believed that if Rei-chan knew that they were experiencing the same thing, it would be easier.
“I see Nephrite’s face every time I close my eyes, it seems. Everything reminds me of him. Except cooking. I didn’t cook then. It’s probably the reason I’ve covered my kitchen in eighteen different types of cookies.”
Rei-chan let out a small smile. It was sad and not conveying even the smallest bit of happiness, but Makoto knew that her friend was the tiniest bit amused.
“My death was the very last thing to come back to me. It almost all came in order. My childhood, training to be a Senshi, and then the arrival of the four generals.”
“I remember thinking they didn’t belong on our planet. I didn’t want them on the Moon – or on any other planet. When we toured the inner planets with them, I remember being so hesitant to even let them on Jupiter. But while we were on Venus, I remember watching all the men and women and being envious. The women on Venus were so beautiful and graceful without trying and they just were so…” Makoto paused, trying to think of the word.
“similar to nymphomaniacs?” Rei supplied. Makoto raised an eyebrow at her friend and smiled.
“I was going to say sexy.” Rei nodded, picking up a piece of sushi and popping it into her mouth lazily. Makoto continued. “And we were at the formal welcoming dance on Venus watching all the women in their dresses that were I must say, by today’s standards incredibly slutty.” Rei actually chuckled at that. “We were wearing clothing more traditional to our planets – Ami was covered head to toe, you were in one of those short battle kimono type things, Serenity in a ball gown, and Mina was wearing the shortest and lowest cut dress I think I’d ever seen. I was wearing what was considered formal and fashionable on Jupiter – a very plain dress, straight and simple and I still felt like the frumpiest girl at the party.”
“You never were, you know – you were always so gorgeous, I thought.” Rei added softly.
“Thank you.” Makoto added, throwing her arm around her friend who yawned softly and leaned against Mako-chan.
“So half way through the night, Nephrite walks up to me and asks for a dance. In shock, I asked if he was hoping to argue with me, and he simply said he’d rather fight with me than dance with any other girl there. And I was gone on him right after that. I declared him my intended about thirty seconds after landing on Jupiter.”
Rei smiled and patiently waited – knowing Makoto had more of a point then just to tell a nice story.
“I keep flashing back to that moment when we realized they’d betrayed us. And I start at the beginning and I just keep asking myself why? Where did it all go wrong?”
The priestess snorted, disbelieving. “Thought of anything yet?”
The taller girl shook her head, her ponytail bobbing behind her. “No.” She blinked as tears filled her eyes, one spilling over her cheek. Rei hugged her tightly.
“But I really did love him, Rei-chan, and it just hurts…” she broke down, sobbing onto Rei’s shoulder. “I’m scared I still love him,” she whispered.
Rei bit her lip and held her friend close, not bothering to admit the exact same fears.
-x-
“Knowledge is something I’ve sought after my entire life. Both of my lives, actually – and if there’s one after this, I imagine I’ll follow the same path. But this was the first time that knowledge had hurt me – this was the first time I wished I hadn’t sought after more information. Now I fully realized everything that was lacking in my life until that point – and exactly what it was like to have it.”
-Mizuno Ami
-x-
Modern Names (Original Names) Ages:
-Matsuki Daisuke (Jadeite) 23
-Yagami Riku (Kunzite) 25
-Rittou Yasanori (Zoisite) 21
-Hoshi Kenji (Nephrite) 22
-x-
So…I’ve been gone. Bad me. But I basically lost all the work I did on this fic – which was a lot, including all the plotting and a lot of quotes, and university eats up life like it was kraft dinner. So Please forgive me – I’m doing the best I can. Apologies. I hope you enjoy the chapter. May 12, 2009.
