The scenes from this chapter are taken from Episodes 7-9 of the PGSM Live Action.
Chapter 3 – REVELATION
It seems that one second was all it took to drastically change my view of the world.
Motoki had called me that day, asking me to go to the amusement park with him, with some other girls. Normally, amusement parks were not my kind of place but with my nocturnal activities and involvement with senshi battles, I had not seen him for quite some time. It was nice to have a change of pace at times, to let go of the mission for a moment. Motoki's cheerfulness certainly could help me with that. He normally lifts my brooding thoughts with his inane remarks and that’s why we get along so well, despite our opposing natures . It was impossible to feel depressed with Motoki around.
In any case, I learned later on that the whole event was supposed to be centred on Usagi and Motoki. From Makoto's hint, it seemed that Usagi liked Motoki. I had no problem with that and I could see that they were having fun. Usagi especially, was going through all the rides in the park with a child-like abandon that was rather infectious.
Still, I did not see them together. It was not jealousy. Certainly not that, at that point of time. I prided myself on my observation skills and being a rather good judge of character. Motoki had been my good friend for a long time and even though I knew him as a loyal and dependable person, I had to admit it, he could be too enthusiastic and emotional. For an 18-year old almost-man, he was impossibly naïve. If they really did become a couple, it would seem more like children getting together, I had supposed. I could not imagine them in a more mature relationship. They were just too alike. Motoki needed someone to calm him down,someone more rational and rock-solid to keep his feet planted firmly on the ground. He needed someone to balance him out, not aggravate his over-excited tendencies and Usagi, without a doubt, fell into the second category.
But I wasn't going to get involved. It was none of my business and the most I would do was to drop a hint to my somewhat obtuse friend on Usagi's feelings. I was fairly sure he had not realized it at all.
The Mirror World was where my world fell apart. I lost Makoto in the maze and found Usagi instead. After our usual tiff, I concentrated on getting us out and finding Motoki. Without thinking, I had grabbed her hand so that we would not become separated too. Her hand was soft and warm in mine. It was also tiny compared to mine and I suddenly felt a surge of protectiveness. I had shrugged it off though. I was probably around Sailor Moon too much and my protective tendencies had gone into overdrive.
As we neared the exit of the maze, I went off alone to make a final check on the route we were to take. I did not want to risk going deeper into the maze. When I came back though, I heard the words.
"Moon Prism Power, Make Up!"
It was with disbelief that I watched the scene unfold before me. As I watched Usagi transform into a senshi... into Sailor Moon, something shifted in the fundamentals of my universe in that instant. My memories of Sailor Moon had overlapped with the slight girl in front of me. It was surreal.
When she ran off, I ran after her. Despite the overwhelming-ness of it all, I understood all too well that another battle was at hand. And I wanted to protect her. I flung myself in the path of the energy blast meant for them – Sailor Moon and Jupiter – and was injured in the process. I was lucky that even though I did not have offensive powers like the senshi (at least none that I know of) besides speed and instinctive fighting skills, I seemed to have enough magic to be somewhat indestructible, though of course, not totally that. It would be hard to defend myself or protect her otherwise. Besides, I healed faster than most as well.
As I started to walk away though (as per my style), Sailor Moon was her usual sweet self and bandaged my injured hand using her handkerchief. Pink with prints of hearts all over. How Usagi. It had gotten easier by the second to treat them both as the same person. In fact, I could not comprehend how I did not know before. Once I knew, the similarities in features and personality were so obvious they were practically screaming to be recognized. Which brought me to another problem I had previously held at bay but was no longer able to do so.
Before that, I could still treat Sailor Moon as a magical superhero, whom I might have some fantasies or unrealistic dreams about. She was someone unattainable and not someone who could intrude in my normal civilian life. And so, I could choose to ignore any feelings I had. But after that, it was no longer possible. She and Usagi had merged into one. Into a girl that was within easy reach. Someone I could be with. If I was not with Hina. And that last thought had doused me in cold water.
I was with Hina and nothing could change that. I was an engaged man, for crying out loud, and I was not free. Nor would I ever be free. I had owed that to her and to her father, who took me in and brought me up. My duty and responsibility lie with Hina. Not with some other girl, not even a girl that I was beginning to realize I was liking too much for my peace of mind. In the confines of my home, I had decided it was a moot point anyway. It was not as if anything was going to happen between us. She had a mission and I had mine. I kept her handkerchief though, reasoning that I might be able to return it to her someday. Folding it carefully, I had slipped it into a drawer.
The next few weeks had been spent on keeping a tight lid on my emotions.
It was then I decided on my next course of action. Now, I blame my confused state of mentality for that, but it did seem very rational to me at that time. After all, I knew both the Dark Kingdom and the Sailor Senshi were also looking for the Ginzuishou, and they had far more advantages than I had. I had to even up the score a bit if I were to stand a fighting chance. Allying with the media seemed reasonable. Besides, it worked. I had the whole nation helping me locate the Ginzuishou. It just worked a bit too well. I certainly hadn't anticipated the frenzy that accompanied the search. Nor the multiple Tuxedo Kamens that turned up. Now, that had been annoying. I thought I was supposed to be unique!
In the end, after all the fuss, I was still nowhere near finding the Ginzuishou, but at least there had been one bright spot. Watching Sailor Moon save my imposter was one of the most entertaining things ever. Her lack of confidence in my stealth had exasperated me a little (as if I would be seen that easily!) but her exuberance and determination to save "me" caused a warm glow to spread somewhere in the vicinity of my chest. I did not expect the imposter to molest her though and I had almost dived in to kick him away when she did the exact same thing herself. The unexpected surge of violence that rose up in me took some time to control but I managed to speak up in time to warn her to transform to escape the police. Then I swooped in and led her out of harm’s way. I really enjoyed that part.
"I must look stupid," she had said after we were safe. She looked adorable. I smiled. I always seem to want to smile in her presence.
"I want to know who I am," I had revealed to her. For once, I wanted to be honest with her, as honest as I could anyway. The dreams were too private to share with anyone, even her.
"I don't even know what your face looked like." She had wanted to see me, my true self and for a second, I wavered before reason came back.
"This way is better." It truly was better. She should not be involved in my life more than she already was. Nor should I be in hers.
