~Friday the Thirteenth~
Chapter 10: "Impractical Jokes"
"Oh God... Odango!" Mamoru cried, shaking her warm body gently. He could not seem to tear his suspiciously wet eyes from the bleeding laceration gouged into the blonde's neck, fingers trembling in pure horror. "ODANGO!"
And then- miraculously- Usagi's face scrunched up into a painful grimace. Oxygen flooded back into Mamoru's lungs, and he wondered just when air had failed him. 'She's alive!' The man resisted sobs of pure joy, instead preparing to try and rouse the fourteen-year-old further. It worried him that Usagi now seemed to be releasing throaty noises. Mamoru delved into the recesses of his mind, trying to conjure up help from old medical textbooks he'd read, but it was to no avail- a haze of utter terror still had his brain firmly in its grip. Dammit, why wasn't he able to process thoughts properly!? Thankfully able to recall that one should put pressure on a serious injury (at least college wasn't a *complete* waste), Mamoru reached out to staunch the flowing wound as chokes continued to consume the blonde. He yelped when Usagi's eyes flew open just before his hand touched her skin, and she sat up rigid as if electrified straight. Usagi's head pivoted slowly until the pair met eyes.
Suddenly, the ebony-haired college student realized that what he had previously presumed to be gags on Usagi's part were actually stifled giggles.
Mamoru gaped as the odangoed girl collapsed back against the closet door, cerulean eyes shining and arms wrapped tightly around her stomach as she howled in mirth. Dimly, he registered the electricity had flickered back on, and the hall was now aching fit to burst with the raucous laughter of four teenage girls.
"You-got-conned!" Usagi snickered past her fingers, just as Makoto guffawed,
"Good one, Usagi-chan! Yeesh, *I* almost believed it when you just plumb fell right out of the closet! You could make a damn talented actress."
"Did you see the look on Mamoru-san's face? Priceless!" Rei tittered, pointing at the stunned man kneeling on the floor. Mamoru's countenance was expressionless as he continued staring at Usagi.
"You mean- this was all *staged*!? Odango wasn't... wasn't..." Mamoru trailed off as he gestured shakily to the crimson splotches marring Usagi's neck.
"It's just make-up, silly," Usagi chuckled, swiping at the aforementioned cosmetic. She showed him her stained palm, and suddenly the raven-haired man felt a rush of stupidity heat up his cheeks. In the light, it was obvious the pasty incarnadine substance was anything but blood. The salve had an almost ketchup-like appearance to it. Usagi started sniggering again, but Mamoru's emotions- already haywire from having been forced to such extremes in only ten minutes- took a sharply irrational turn.
"It's not funny," he hissed, and Usagi paused in mid-chortle. The room went quickly silent as everyone observed Mamoru's hands clench into fists, body taut as a bow. He seemed ready to throw himself at the blonde in front of him and finish what the Senshi had started. Usagi gulped as she watched anger cloud her partner's visage.
"M-Mamoru, it was just a practical joke; can't you take a-"
"DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED YOU HAD ME!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE *DEAD*! SO *NO*, I GUESS I CAN'T TAKE A JOKE, BECAUSE IT WAS *NOT* FUNNY! I thought... I thought that serial killer had come in here and... and..." But words deserted the eighteen-year-old, so he simply hung his head. The girls exchanged ashamed glances, visibly remorseful for their juvenile prank. Usagi sighed, brushing the tips of her fingers consolingly against Mamoru's knuckles, apology on her lips. Before she could even open her mouth, however, he jerked away. Hurt- and not really sure why- Usagi reeled back onto her ankles and scooted hastily into the corner. Mamoru stumbled up, thus putting even greater distance between them. An awkward quiescence festered before the college student muttered,
"I need to go see Koto-chan. She's scared stiff, no thanks to *you*."
Guilt gave a swift kick right into Usagi's gut. She winced as Mamoru stalked up the stairs, each footfall a merciless punch at her dignity. She felt as if the man had just pummeled her with a barrage of disgraceful accusations, but the teen knew she deserved each and every one of them. *Why* had she agreed to let her friends carry out this stupid prank? What the hell had she been trying to prove, wanting to see Mamoru concerned over her life like that? Hadn't her antics at the ice cream shop done damage enough? And poor Kotono...
'What a terrible babysitter I am,' Usagi moaned inwardly, burying her face in her hands.
"I didn't mean to take so long, guys; it's strange- I had to fix the wires first; they were all knotted and falling out of... Oh dear," Ami's voice sighed as she meandered back into the hall, returning from her little trip to the Himo's outdoor power box. "See, I *told* you this wasn't going to end well... no one ever listens to reason!"
"Usagi-chan, we're sorry. This is all our fault; we suggested it," Makoto lamented, sidling over to comfort their quietly sniffling leader. "Please don't cry; I'm sure Mamoru-san isn't *that* mad..."
"Yeah, he's probably just green," Minako added, nodding sagely. She blinked under the assault of three glares.
"Minako-chan, *what*-"
"Green! You know... environmentally conscious?"
"Again: Minako-chan, what does this useless little tangent have *anything* to do with the situation at hand?" Rei ground out, pinching the bridge of her nose and praying for patience.
"Well, maybe Mamoru-san's the energy efficient type, and he's miffed we shut off the pow- oh. That *is* being... ah... never mind," Minako blushed, noticing too late that her rather contradictory alibi had just died a miserable death.
"I bet he hates me," Usagi sobbed, rubbing at her glistening cheeks. Rei smiled ever-so-slightly as she watched Usagi smear red make-up in the appendage's wake, commenting very lightly,
"I dunno, he seemed pretty distraught to me... And besides, that's never bothered you before."
Usagi froze, and Rei grinned triumphantly as the blonde stopped crying to ponder this revelation. "He was dis...? And I'm... but I don't..."
"Usagi, go wash your face. It looks like you've just been mauled by a hot dog and now you're rambling like an idiot."
"Baka," Usagi murmured to the priestess, a dazed expression still firmly in place. She stood with Makoto's help, tripping aimlessly toward the bathroom with an ungainly, listless wobble. Clearly, the blonde's attention was elsewhere, and her Senshi had a sneaking suspicion it lingered presently on the enigma with shaggy black locks and darkly azure eyes.
oOo
Mamoru raked a hand through his hair, exhaling raggedly as he shut Kotono's bedroom door. It had required much reassurance, but finally the child was sleeping to the promise that no one was currently robbing the house or murdering her babysitters. 'Stupid kids... don't think at all about repercussions... Awful attempt at a joke... Totally impractical! Asinine and... and...' Mamoru grit his teeth. 'Why the hell did I lose control like that? I can't afford to chuck sense out the window again! I'm a frigging superhero; I should know better! *Of course* she was faking! I should have checked her pulse or... or... done something other than freak out, ogling her neck!'
Even as Mamoru scolded himself, he tasted the bitter remnants of terror still clawing its way through his insides. Usagi... throat slit... limp in his arms... He gulped oxygen greedily, hoping to subdue the images still plaguing his mind of Usagi struggling futilely against a harsh-faced serial killer in a dark, cold, and cramped room. 'She's alive; she's *fine*. Stop acting like the girl's seconds away from being knifed!'
The college student shuffled wearily down the stairwell, faltering as a figure sporting a mop of gold odango slammed into him.
"Oh- I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't see you!" Usagi apologized, bowing profusely. Mamoru raised a brow.
"Jeez, Odango, it's okay... Normally I'd expect to find a shoe pitched at my nose, but I guess this is an improvement."
Usagi paused. "You're... you're not mad?"
"I'll... get over it. After all, it was only meant to be a practical joke, right? I've found it blights my beautiful complexion to hold grudges," the eighteen-year-old joked wryly. Usagi graced him with a brilliantly blinding smile that went straight to his knees.
"I'm glad," she answered with heartfelt conviction. Then the blonde frowned. "I just wish my friends would take that attitude. They're trying to make up for their mistake with strip poker. *Strip poker*, of all things! As if I *want* to play a game like that. I don't know what they're trying to insinuate! I'm not that kind of girl, at all! They've chosen such weird entertainment all night."
The teen shook her head in exasperation, snorting, then continued on up the stairs. Mamoru remained in the exact position she left him in. His eyes were glued to her retreating back when the statement caught up with him.
Strip... poker?
Mamoru's breath decided to stick in his throat in that moment, features burgeoning from a pale white to a vibrant pink.
~o~o~o~
A/N: I DIDN'T KILL USAGI! Aren't I just the nicest author in the world? ^^ Please review! We're delving into some fun and exciting chapters next, but I'll warn you that the story shall be coming to a close soon :( Enjoy the mayhem while it lasts!
AngelMoon Girl
