Forgotten Forever by Kihin Ranno

Part Eleven: Sinners/Saints

“And that’s the end of it. For now.”

Mamoru could scarcely keep himself from laughing at how his future self concluded what was certainly the most horrible story he had ever heard, made all the worse thanks to its veracity. But he didn’t dare open his mouth for fear of being sick all over the cold marble floors.

Where he felt drained and ill, Venus seemed completely shattered. She had not risen from her place beside the sleeping queen. In fact, as Endymion had talked, Venus had seemed to grow physically more and more reliant on the coffin – no, the formation – in which Serenity slept. Nevertheless, she had not shed a single tear. Instead, she’d covered her mouth in horror, shutting her eyes to the light of day, perhaps willing her eyes dry.

Her strength was something to admire and fear.

“I am sorry,” the king murmured, and Mamoru recognized the sincerity in his own voice. “You see of course why I didn’t want to discuss this today.”

Mamoru looked to Venus to respond, but she merely shook her head, pressing her fingertips against her lips until they paled. He didn’t know her that well, but he suspected that silence was far worse than the alternative. He moved towards her cautiously, as if approaching a wounded animal. “I think we had better be getting to bed now,” he murmured, holding out a hand to the golden soldier. She stared at it, uncomprehending for a moment, and then took it, slowly rising to her feet.

Endymion nodded, the hologram giving the impression of a stop-motion camera projection. “Of course. However, since we have tarried for this long, and Chibi-Usa hasn’t joined us, I think it would be best if I retrieved her. It would put my mind at ease to see her. I’ve missed her, as I’m sure you can imagine.”

Mamoru and Venus gave each other twin looks of confusion. For the first time in ages, Venus spoke. “I’m sorry…. I’m a little lost.”

A shadow of anxiety flashed across the ghostly face.

Mamoru’s mind raced, putting together puzzle pieces he wished he didn’t have. He thought of the story he had just been told, the name spoken, and the king’s obvious concern. He was beginning to reach a conclusion he didn’t want to come to.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Venus finished.

Mamoru watched his own face morph from worry to terror, and he had to turn away.

“My daughter. Where is my daughter?”

-----

Once she had exhausted her tears, Usagi had to get out. She was the first to admit that she wasn’t all that smart, but the implications of the room and Demando’s behavior were obvious even to her. She could see her friends, and she had the run of the castle; she would take advantage of that gift to its fullest extent.

There was little question of who she wanted to see first. She loved all her friends dearly, but she could not handle Rei or Makoto like this. She knew they would both be furious. She couldn’t bear their anger when it was useless to aid her.

She wanted Ami. Quiet, sensible Ami, who would comfort her with soft words and promises of plans to free them. She wanted to be soothed, not assured of vengeance. At the moment, she wanted nothing more than indulgence in her own self-pity.

Usagi scrubbed her eyes with her hands and immediately moved to the door. She threw it open, prepared to depart, but promptly leapt back into the room when she saw the monster on the other side.

It looked vaguely human and distinctly female, but Usagi could not bring herself to call it ‘she.’ Its skin was supernaturally pale with a faint bluish tint. Its clothes were fairly simple, cut and styled into a military jacket and pants that reminded her vaguely of the Shitennou’s uniform. However, the cloth was brightly dyed lavender and embroidered with inverted, black crescents. Though what disturbed Usagi the most was the blood-red garnet set into the thing’s forehead. When she looked closely, she saw another black moon floating inside the gem.

“Do you require an escort, Serenity?” it asked.

Usagi stared at its face, searching it for a trace of emotion or curiosity. Finding none, she decided that this must be what Demando had called a droid. “I… I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

It didn’t answer. Usagi wondered if it could.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’d like to see Ami. Sailor Mercury. Please.”

It bowed to her, bending low at the waist. Usagi thought she heard the faint whir of machinery. “Of course, Serenity.”

Usagi almost begged the droid not to call her that and not to bow, but something told her that it would have been a fruitless exercise. She nodded wearily and trailed after the figure, hoping that the trek would be a short one.

Now that she wasn’t being dragged around by the elbow, Usagi had the opportunity to study her surroundings in detail. If she had to describe the décor in one word, it would undoubtedly be ‘dark.’ This extended even to the lighting, such as it was. Curiously, try as she might, she could find no direct sources of light or windows.

The walls and floors were sculpted out of still more gem-like substances that reminded her of emerald, sapphire, and amethyst. However, they didn’t have the clarity or beauty that she associated with the stones. There was something dirty, inky about it all. It would undoubtedly leave Makoto with an urge to scrub the walls clean.

The hallways were bare. Occasionally she saw some patterns engraved in the stone, but other than that, they were empty. It was utterly joyless.

Nonetheless, the halls were not lacking inhabitants. It was hardly bustling, but they did pass a fair number of people on their journey. Thankfully, Usagi did not see another droid. She passed a fairly even mix of servants, upper level palace workers, and diplomats or nobility of some sort. Every one of them had jewel-toned hair and sickly pale skin. Each bore the black tattoo upon their brow, the perversion of the Silver Millennium’s symbol. And they all bowed, though she could not miss the disdain in some glances.

They blamed her for something she had not done, and it made her want to scream.

Finally, the droid ground to a halt in front of a metal door or gate. Usagi stumbled over her own feet, surprised that they had reached the end of the road. Then she saw the row of lights above the door. They pulsed blue.

Usagi let out a tiny sob of relief and ran for the door. It drew up as she approached. And the only thing she saw was Ami. Wonderful Ami with her cropped hair falling over her ears, where twin black stones dangled and glittered in the half-light.

“Ami!” Usagi shouted, running into the room.

The other girl spun at the sound of her name and immediately opened her arms. “Usagi!”

Usagi barreled into Ami gracelessly, closing her arms around the other girl’s neck. She buried her face in the slim shoulder, letting loose another storm of tears. She cried again, drinking in Ami’s soothing murmurs and the feel of hands rubbing against her back.

Usagi knew she should be stronger. This weakness would be exploited, and it would be better if she could stifle her tears and stand tall. It would be best if she could be the soldier she was supposed to be.

But she was just too tired to care.

-----

Although Ami had not expected to see Usagi, she was certainly not mystified by Usagi’s behavior. Too much had happened. Rei would undoubtedly bully her towards composing herself, and perhaps that was what she ultimately needed. But bearing everything in mind, Ami didn’t have the heart to try.

Usagi’s reservoir for tears had always struck Ami as boundless, and the current situation called on all of Usagi’s reserves. The blonde wept horribly, clinging to Ami like a frightened child. Ami allowed her to grieve for a long time, until she became concerned that Usagi would make herself sick. Only then did Ami insist Usagi stop with her firmest voice. It took some time, but finally, Usagi calmed down.

With that accomplished, Ami asked, “Did he hurt you?”

Usagi shook her head, and Ami felt the tension in her shoulders melt away slightly. “No. I mean, he… he kissed me, but he didn’t….”

Ami couldn’t bear to hear the words, and Usagi couldn’t bear to say them. “Good. That’s good. That ought to keep Rei and Makoto in check.”

Usagi looked ill at the suggestion, though not terribly surprised. “What happened?”

Ami circled her stomach with one arm. “It was awful. They both fought so hard, screaming and spitting and clawing. I thought they were going to be killed. I kept asking where you were, and they wouldn’t tell me, wouldn’t tell any of us. They just dragged us off without explanation and dumped us here.”

For the first time, Usagi took a moment to take in Ami’s new quarters, and she looked just as shocked as Ami had been. Ami smiled wryly. “I know. As far as prison cells go, it could be worse.”

The furniture itself wasn’t terribly remarkable – lightweight, naturally stained wood, a bed with cream-colored bedding, and braided rugs done in a variety of blues. The truly astounding part of the room was that the walls were completely covered floor-to-ceiling in bookshelves filled to the brim with novels, textbooks, and every other kind of reading material imaginable. Ami imagined that technology had progressed so that paper books were obsolete, but apparently for her, they had made an exception. She found herself appreciative of the efforts, though she knew they had not been for her benefit so much as Usagi’s.

Usagi wandered away from Ami, running her fingertips along the spines of the books. “They’re all so old.”

“Once I calmed down, I did take a look. It seems these were salvaged from disaster. There’s a lot of water and smoke damage, but all readable from what I can see.” She paused, deciding to test the waters. “It’s almost like a kindness, isn’t it?”

Usagi exhaled sharply, resting her head against an old dictionary. “It means they want to keep us.”

This was decidedly untrue. In reality, it meant that they wanted to keep Usagi. The words tingled against Ami’s tongue, but she could not say it aloud. “At least it seems to indicate that we won’t be tortured for spite,” she said, pointedly not thinking about where Rubeus fit into all of this.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Usagi murmured horribly.

Ami’s chest twisted. “Usagi?”

“He wants me to love him,” Usagi whispered, spinning around. She hunched over, hugging herself. “He says he loves me, and that’s why he took me. He wants… he wants me to forget about Mamoru, and he wants to use you as a… bargaining chip or something.

“I don’t know what to do. I can’t bring myself to pretend, and he doesn’t even need me to.” Usagi’s lower lip trembled. “Ami, he can control me. He does something, and it’s like I don’t even feel my own body anymore. I’m just watching while he—” She cut off abruptly, her fingers dug into her bare arms. “He didn’t force me this time, Ami, but he can. He can do it, and he can make it so I won’t even scream.”

Ami curled her hand into a fist, gathering up the fabric at her neckline so tightly she feared it would rip. She wasn’t a person easily carried away by hate. Rei and Makoto gave in to it all too easily, but she and Usagi had always been alike in willingness to forgive and be kind.

Clearly, Ami had found her exception to the rule.

“We won’t let that happen.”

“How do we stop it?”

Ami strode over to Usagi, assuming a confidence she could not honestly feel. She pulled at the girl’s wrists and held them in her hands, squeezing.

“I’ll get us out of here,” Ami swore. “I don’t know how, and I don’t know when. But I promise: I will get us free before he lays a hand on you.”

She would never admit it aloud, but when Usagi smiled at her, assured that Ami was telling the truth, Ami felt consumed by a guilt that threatened to overwhelm her. All she could do was pray that she told the truth.

-----

Saffir was not the least bit surprised when his brother sought him out shortly after going to see the past incarnation of the Neo-Queen. He was even less surprised by the state the prince was in.

“How dare she?” Demando demanded, sweeping into Saffir’s laboratory. The equipment in the room trembled with every step his brother took as if even it feared him.

Saffir turned away from his current work and pulled off his glasses, flicking them away into the darkness. “How dare she what, brother?”

“She doesn’t forget him,” Demando seethed, leaning over a drafting table. Saffir discreetly vanished all of the instruments near his brother lest they fall victim to the prince’s rage.

“Did you expect her to?” Saffir asked calmly.

Demando’s shoulders sagged ever so slightly. Anyone else would have missed this concession in his body, but Saffir knew him better than all others. Even the Wiseman. “No. I’m not a fool.” He turned, glowering. “But I do expect her to keep me from knowing about it.”

Saffir smiled wryly. “She is not yet the queen you know; she’s only fourteen.”

Demando arched a white eyebrow. “Fourteen? That young.”

Saffir governed his thoughts so that he read nothing into that observation. “If you hold the girl up to the standards of the woman, you’re bound to be disappointed,” Saffir reasoned. “Simply remember that you are not yet dealing with Serenity, no matter what name you call her.”

The corner of Demando’s mouth turned downward. “She insists on being called by her birth name.”

“It might be something to consider,” Saffir suggested smoothly. “You’re not likely to endear yourself to her if you refuse every request.”

Demando’s eyes flashed in temper. “She is not ruler here, Saffir.”

“I didn’t say that,” Saffir soothed. “I am simply saying that one’s name is one’s identity, and she might be more… at ease if you used her real name. Usagi.”

Demando continued to glare. “It’s revolting.”

“It’s hers.”

As always, Saffir waited with mild trepidation to see how his advice would be taken. Several tense moments passed before Demando’s countenance softened, and only then did Saffir exhale his relief. The love between them did not change the fact that his brother was a dangerous man. Demando had not yet found the occasion to show violence to his younger sibling, but Saffir wasn’t stupid enough to assume that this would always be the case. “Perhaps you’re right,” the prince conceded.

“And after a time, maybe you could call her Serenity,” Saffir suggested, banking now on his brother’s steadier mood. “She is young, and the young are easily molded.” He refrained from citing evidence of this fact in Demando’s own childhood.

Demando’s interest was piqued. “Molded?”

Saffir licked his lips and took another step forward. “In time, she could become everything you want and need. You need only apply the right pressure.”

Demando chuckled, and all the anger that had remained coiled within him was released. “I want her to become nothing more than her destiny dictates.” Demando closed the gap between them and curled a hand around Saffir’s neck, pulling him forward until their brows met. “What would I do without you, Saffir?”

It was a common question that the prince asked, one always spoken after these meetings. It was part of their routine, and the routine dictated only one answer.

“I expect you’d die horribly, brother.”

Demando laughed again and kissed Saffir on his forehead. “Thank you. Really.”

Saffir nodded. Demando pulled away then, preparing to take his leave in order to attend to matters of state, or perhaps to implement Saffir’s advice into action. Saffir should have let his brother go, but impulsively, he said one more thing. “Go gently with her.”

The prince paused, curious. “You care?”

Saffir looked over his shoulder, smiling as widely as he dared.

“Only for you, brother.”

-----

“Tell me where she is!”

Cooan groaned at the sound of yet another crash. She knew a lot of time and effort had gone in to setting up rooms for the three Senshi and the future Neo Queen, and Mars was very quickly destroying a quarter of it. Not that Cooan ought to have been surprised.

“How long has this been going on?” Cooan asked the droid in a low voice. She’d been sent for as the leading authority on how to deal with Mars, but Cooan wished they had asked Petz. Unfortunately, Petz had been summoned to deal with a similar uprising from Jupiter.

Weeks and possibly even days before, Cooan would have jumped at the chance to discipline Mars in whatever capacity, but things had changed for her. For too long, she had begun to feel more than hatred and disgust for Mars. Now there was more confusion than she would have liked to admit. Facing Mars meant owning up to that, and facing her problems was not exactly Cooan’s forte.

“As soon as Lord Saffir finished healing her, she began it.”

Cooan sighed. No doubt the room would look as though a tornado had been through it by this time. “Go fetch Serenity. Tell her that Mars needs to see her.” The droid nodded and turned to carry out the order. “No doubt she’ll know exactly what that means,” Cooan muttered to its back. Then she gestured at Mars’s closed door and prepared to face the girl during the time it took to rise.

As Cooan had suspected, Mars had made short order of wrecking her surroundings. She had ripped down the canopy from her bed, completely trampled the meditation space, and had now moved on to throwing the wall-hangings about. Upon seeing Cooan, Mars quickly threw one in her direction. The ornate frame hurtled through space, turning end over end at an alarming speed. Nevertheless, Cooan merely raised an eyebrow and blasted it out of the air with a low-powered ice fire.

“You know, throwing a hissy fit isn’t likely to get what you want,” Cooan pointed out.

Mars glared. “It got you here, didn’t it?”

Cooan blinked, taken aback. “You wanted to see me?”

Mars abruptly sat down on her ruined bed, petulantly folding her arms. “I want to know where Usagi is.”

“Here. Are we done?”

The girl’s ears burned pink with frustration. “I mean, is she all right?”

Cooan smirked. “If that’s what you meant, you should have asked that.”

Mars leapt to her feet and began to stalk forward, her earrings reflecting the light as she walked. “Listen to me, you tacky bitch: if I don’t get a straight answer out of someone, I’ll—"

As she came too near the doorway, a forcefield shimmered into existence. She bounced off it harmlessly, which Cooan thought was a pity.

“You’ll what?” Cooan snapped. “You can’t even leave your room without Serenity. Face it. There’s nothing you can do. So stop shrieking and wait for her to tell her yourself.”

Mars let out a short scream and kicked an end table by the door. Then she rounded on Cooan again. “I know why you brought her here; I know what he wants from her. It’s sick! And if I have to wait a century to make him pay for even thinking about it, I’ll do it!”

Cooan continued to be amazed at the girl’s political idiocy. She chose to ignore the fact that all of her sisters had said as much to her in the past. “How is threatening the prince going to help your situation?”

“Well, I have to do something, don’t I?” Mars shouted, her voice breaking. “I can’t just… wait.”

For a moment, Cooan felt a twinge in her breast. It was almost like pity. “You don’t have a choice.”

“And if it was one of your sisters?” Mars demanded. “What would you do then?”

Unbidden, the memory of Beruche’s words sprang to her mind. She’d chastised Cooan for asking who Beruche would sacrifice herself for: the people or one of her sisters. Beruche had insisted she would risk her life for no one.

Supposing this was the right answer, Cooan said, “I take care of myself. I’m no martyr.”

Mars stared at Cooan in disbelief. Cooan thought that the soldier looked very small amidst the havoc she’d wrought. Before she could give much thought to that however, Mars spoke again.

“How can you be so cold?”

The words shook her to her very core. Although she had confessed doubts about these younger Senshi to Petz and Beruche before, this hit close to home. It was a favored saying among Nemesians: the fire princess is an ice queen. That Mars chose this particular descriptor made her shudder. The girl could not have known what the words meant.

But then, that was the point, wasn’t it? Reconciling the girl-soldier with the demon-warrior of the future.

“Rei!”

Cooan whirled, startled out of her reverie. She was not as relieved as she had expected at the sight of Sailor Moon – Serenity now, she supposed. She could not pinpoint the discomfort she felt at the emergence of the blonde. In a way, she felt thwarted. As if there were more questions she could have asked Mars, answers she felt entitled to that she now could not ask.

Serenity ran past Cooan as if she wasn’t even there and threw her arms around Mars. Cooan didn’t stay to listen to the twin reassurances and feverish whispers. She turned on her heel, leaving the two to their own devices. She did not fear Mars would continue her tirade now. Serenity would surely keep her in check.

Besides, Cooan had her own matters to attend to.

-----

Rubeus was not the sort of man who dreamed pleasantly. In point of fact, any other man who experienced his visions would be far more inclined to call them nightmares, but he longed to stay in his world of darkness drenched in blood. The nonsensical terrors that filled his mind served as entertainment, sometimes even inspiration. He was loathe to emerge from sleep for this reason alone.

He was even less inclined to wake when someone found it necessary to poke him unceasingly.

“Wake up, you ugly brute,” a familiar voice scolded. “I need to talk to you.”

Rubeus curled his lip, anticipating a tiresome exchange. “Esmeraude, has it ever occurred to you that poking a sleeping tiger might not be the best of ideas?”

Esmeraude let out that horrific laugh, which brought Rubeus completely into wakefulness. No one could sleep with that racket. He glared up at the green-clad woman, her fan unfurled by her gaping mouth and her hip jutted out to accentuate her curves. He was familiar with the pose. She wanted something.

Then again, when didn’t Esmeraude want something?

“You would willingly compare yourself to an animal,” she cackled.

“Shut up, insufferable harpy,” Rubeus groaned. “I take it I’m on Nemesis.”

Esmeraude calmed down and busied her hands with fanning herself in a way she no doubt thought was seductive. As if sensing his irritation, she closed it with a snap. “Actually, no. We’re on Earth. Prince Demando and the Wiseman didn’t think it was a good idea to be too far removed from the palace and the battlefield.”

Rubeus grunted non-commitally. Personally, he would rather be on Nemesis. His comrades hoped to take over Earth and live on it once again, and Rubeus agreed with them for a number of reasons. However, considering their guests and his current frame of mind, his home planet, where every day could feel like a battle, seemed more fitting.

“Poor Rubeus,” Esmeraude purred, running the tip of her fan down his arm. “Our favorite general bested by the Time Guardian. Who could have seen that coming?”

Rubeus sneered. “Already using the royal ‘we,’ Esmeraude? Doesn’t Demando have to think of you as more than a pity fuck first?”

Esmeraude’s sharp smile twitched into a grimace. “And what kind of fuck would Venus have been, Rubeus? If you’d managed to keep your disgusting hands on her, that is.”

If he had been in better condition, he would have happily attacked her for saying as much. Then again, if he had been up and about, she probably wouldn’t have dared. “Enough. What is it you want?”

She feigned a sweeter smile. “What makes you think I want something?”

Rubeus growled. If she was playing at coy, that meant Esmeraude was still weighing her options. Rubeus couldn’t stand Esmeraude, but he knew better than to call her stupid. She was a conniving little bitch, and a self-proclaimed master of manipulation. She certainly had it in mind to use Rubeus for something, but she hadn’t quite worked out the particulars yet. Still, she wanted him to know that he was a cog in her ever-working machine. Whether she meant to soften him ahead of time or just irritate him, he couldn’t say.

“I merely came as a favor,” Esmeraude called out, already turning and sauntering away from him, her hips leading the way. “I thought it might interest you to know that Prince Demando ordered Saffir to send out a squadron of droids to the Time Gate. It seems that, having been presented with the opportunity to eliminate Endymion, he wasted no time. And I seem to remember that he said it no longer mattered whether or not Venus came back alive.”

Rubeus’s blood boiled. Even if she did need him, she couldn’t resist needling him. She wanted him to know that there was a good chance Venus would be dead, and not by his hand. She wanted him to know that a droid – a mindless drone – could very well succeed where he had failed. Twice.

She wanted him to know that his blood lust could easily be denied. Perhaps she wanted to him to share in her own frustrations.

Still, Rubeus could not be outdone. Rage and threats had never done much good with Esmeraude. The only way to combat her was to play her own game. So he merely chuckled in response.

“I wonder how long that will last once Prince Demando’s new pet gets wind of it.”

Rubeus knew to duck the chamber pot long before she threw it at his head.

-----

Petz snarled as she made her way to Jupiter’s quarters. She didn’t know how to deal with Jupiter short of beating her; the droids ought to have known that. Still, she knew better than to leave the green soldier to her own devices. If Prince Demando heard of the disturbance and Petz’s failure to act, there was no telling the punishment that would be doled out. After all, his behavior could not be predicted now that his beloved queen walked his halls.

As she rounded the corner, her ears picked up on a voice distinctly different from that of the soldier’s. Her body tensed and began to backtrack before her mind sorted out the identity of the other speaker. By the time it completely registered, it was too late. She’d been seen.

“If you would just stop yelling, I could—Oh.” Saffir drew himself up to his full height, a habit she had once only noticed him indulging with Rubeus. Her stomach twisted to know that she now warranted the same behavior. “I… I asked for someone to talk to her, but I… I thought they would send… Usagi. I didn’t—"

“Usagi?” Petz asked brusquely, retreating to neutral territory.

“It’s the name Serenity prefers to be called by,” Saffir clarified, still raising his voice to be heard over Jupiter’s theatrics. “I’m adjusting to it.”

Petz clenched her fists tighter. “I don’t see why we have to address her as she likes. After what I went through to get her here, I should be able to call her what I damn well please.”

Saffir sighed, attempting to make it sound like an innocuous breath, and failing. “It would serve our purpose well to put her more at ease.”

“Don’t do that,” Petz snapped before she could stop herself.

“Do what?”

“Talk down to me.” Petz closed the gap between them, resorting to the old stand-by of physical intimidation. “I hate when you do that. I always hated it.”

Saffir lifted his hands, a medical bag slung over his wrist. “I wasn’t doing that.”

She snorted. “I never know if you’re being dishonest or just delusional.”

He narrowed his eyes coolly, but she didn’t miss the way his Adam’s apple spasmed at his pale throat. “I cannot think of a single instance where I haven’t been completely up front with you, and of everyone in this place, I think I’m the last who would resort to deluding himself.”

“Oh, so I’m delusional now?”

“I never said that. You’re always putting words in my mouth.”

“Someone has to!” Petz yelled, conscious of the way her accusations echoed across the vaulted ceilings. “You never say anything. Not anything of value.”

Saffir closed his eyes. She knew he was coming up with chess strategies in his head. He always did that when he felt on the verge of losing his temper. He never understood how much better things would be if he simply stopped restraining himself. “Do we have to do this? Again?”

“No,” Petz glowered, surprised at her own answer. She swallowed, collecting herself. “No, we don’t.”

Saffir’s posture relaxed a fraction. “Then why are we?”

Petz followed his lead, relaxing her fingers. She tried to let her hands hang lose at her side, but without her anger to shield her, she felt oddly exposed. She folded her arms in front of her chest. “Because you bring out the worst in me. Always have.”

He smiled sadly. “Not always.”

Her chest contracted as those two simple words caused a flood of physical memories. It was as if she could feel his arms encircling her. She remembered her flushed cheek pressing against his smooth chest, damp with sweat and rising fast as he regained his breath. And she remembered the way he’d smelled, the look in his eyes, and his so seldom heard laughter. She even remembered the rarer sound of her own, though the memory was so distant that the particulars of the sound escaped her. In her mind, it sounded far more like Karaberas’s than her own.

“Don’t,” she croaked, surprised at her weakness and the display of emotion. She hardened herself, and when she spoke again, her voice was steel. “Don’t bring up the past, Saffir. It doesn’t do either of us any good to dwell there.”

They all would have been the one to laugh now, pointing out her hypocrisy. Petz advised to leave the past behind, but hadn’t they all wanted to say as much to her when she raged at nothing and they knew the real cause?

“No,” Saffir agreed, “I suppose not.”

They lapsed into uncomfortable silence, and not for the first time, Petz found the words in her mind. Her tongue itched, longing to give voice to them, but she kept her jaw resolutely shut. Speaking would have flown in the face of what she professed to want, and it would have opened the still raw wound. Part of her could not let go of her desire, perhaps her need to ask him one simple question.

Just then, the scurry of light footsteps rang out behind her. Petz didn’t need to turn around to know it was Serenity – perhaps Usagi. No one else would have moved like that. It spoke to the awkwardness of their current situation that Petz was actually relieved the girl had come.

“I’m sorry,” Serenity said, her face pink from exertion. Petz chuckled grimly at the absurdity of the captive apologizing to her jailers. She did not, however, miss the trembling in Serenity’s voice. She was still afraid of them, despite the promises Demando had made her. Well, at least the girl had the good sense to be wary.

Because she had a past with Petz, Serenity could not stop staring at her like a frightened doe. “I came as soon as I could leave Rei. Is she all right?”

Saffir, ever the gentleman, bowed slightly, clasping one hand to his chest. Somehow, he managed to relax his permanently furrowed brow for the benefit of Demando’s precious queen. He introduced himself as the prince’s brother, which understandably made the girl wary. Still, Saffir pressed on, offering comfort in his own cold way by showing her nothing but courtesy. He explained that he had not been able to see Jupiter as of yet, but that he was sure her presence would calm her enough to make an examination possible.

Knowing that she was no longer needed, Petz turned to go. She was glad to leave, really. She couldn’t stand dealing with Saffir or Jupiter; seeing both of them at once would have been intolerable. Still, she couldn’t help but pause before she turned the corner. And certain that Saffir couldn’t hear, she gave voice to the words she seemed to resist constantly when she was around him.

“Why did you leave me?”

It was a relief to say. After all, it wasn’t that she needed an answer. She already knew why they weren’t together anymore. Her sisters no doubt thought that Petz’s personality had repulsed the steady Saffir, forgetting that her temper had only reached uncontrollable levels after their affair had ended. Perhaps they would have had other guesses, but she doubted any of them, not even Beruche, could have come up with the most obvious answer.

Saffir had left her because she was not the most important person in his life and never would be.

She hated him for that. Hated that he didn’t love her enough. Hated that she couldn’t even blame him for it.

Before her emotions overwhelmed her, Petz straightened her back and walked back to her own rooms. Once there, she readied herself for bed, shedding the clothes that were practically her uniform and pulling on a shirt she’d neglected to return to her former lover. Then she lowered herself into her cold bed, snapped to dim the light crystals, and closed her eyes.

It was not until she was on the edge of sleep that she realized that Jupiter had stopped screaming during Petz’s conversation with Saffir. Her green eyes flew open as they burned with shame.

The bitch had heard every word.

-----

Venus gaped, unwilling and unable to mask her surprise. Of course she knew from the King’s story that he had a daughter. Nevertheless, he had neglected to mention that the child – Chibi-Usa – was supposed to be in their custody. But then, if he had taken it for granted, he would have had no reason to bring it up. Suddenly, the king’s query as to whether or not “she” was safe took on a whole different meaning. He hadn’t meant Pluto at all; he had been talking about the girl so obviously named for her mother.

She physically ached thinking of it. Instinctively, she looked up at Mamoru. He looked like he was about to be sick.

“I don’t understand,” Endymion confessed, his voice and even the projection of his body trembling. “I know she made it to the Time Gate. I saw it on the monitor. She ran in, and Pluto confirmed….” He trailed off, and a wave of rage seemed to run through him. His face could not actually darken, bloodless as it was, but Venus couldn’t help but shiver at his expression. She was used to Mamoru acting bewildered and ineffectual. She had forgotten that when in possession of his faculties, he could be a formidable opponent.

“Pluto!” he shouted. “Show yourself!”

To Venus’s surprise, the Time Guardian appeared almost instantly in a flash of dark crimson light. Fog clung to her skin but began to evaporate rapidly now that she was outside of the gate. Pluto knelt immediately, her head bent. At first, Venus wondered if Pluto knew the hell that was about to rain down on her, and then she realized how silly that curiosity was.

“Where is she?” Endymion demanded. Venus was surprised how intimidating he was despite his translucence. “Where did you put her?”

To her credit, Pluto did not feign ignorance. “I regret to inform you that there was a… complication when Small Lady retreated to the past. She did not return to 1993 as planned.”

“Us,” Mamoru whispered. His hollow voice was so quiet, Venus knew she was the only one who could hear him. “She was supposed to come to us.”

She knew he was wracked with guilt for something he’d had no control over. She felt the same way. A tiny, traitorous part of her wondered if maybe she had been too quick to blame him for his amnesia, but she shoved it away. Regardless of where she stood on that, she couldn’t devote the time or energy to analyze the situation. She turned her attention back to the crouching soldier and the raging king.

Though Pluto had looked serious before, Venus could now see just how old her youthful face looked in her grief. She remembered that the girl had used to go see Pluto, and Venus realized that this solitary warrior must have loved her. She felt sick at heart and suddenly longed to tell Pluto how much she could sympathize. She had lost people she loved too, after all.

“What happened, Pluto?” Endymion asked, still shaking. “I demand that you tell me!”

Pluto swallowed, taking a moment to compose herself. Venus noticed her grip on the staff and guessed that her knuckles were white beneath her gloves. “I don’t know,” she confessed.

Both Venus and Mamoru, who barely knew this woman, reeled from this revelation. To Endymion, it was clearly incomprehensible.

“How can you not know?” he hissed. “Time is your domain! You command it, you—"

“All due respect, I command nothing,” Pluto interrupted, her voice tight with barely suppressed emotion. Venus thought it might have been shame she hoped to hide from him. “I manipulate, and I watch. If you were under the impression that I was omnipotent where the fourth dimension is concerned, I must disappoint you.”

Endymion looked ready to retreat back behind his anger, but perhaps he thought better of it. Or maybe he simply didn’t know how to uphold it in the face of such unexpected anguish. Nevertheless, he gave into it before the Time Guardian. “Pluto, please,” he pled, his voice breaking. “I beg you. For once in your life, be direct.”

Pluto nodded slowly, and once again took her time to phrase the news. “I cannot know for certain what happened. I can credit it to the Wiseman’s interference, or the disruption of the Timeline, which seems to stem from your past self’s continued amnesia in this matter. Regardless, the disruption was enough to alter Small Lady’s course and deposit her elsewhere in time. I have searched for her in all of time that is open to me. However, the past and future directly connected with yourself and the other Sailor Senshi is hidden from me. It is most likely that she is in such a year.”

Looking at Endymion, for the first time, Venus thought it was possible to die from sorrow.

“How could this have happened?” he murmured. “How will you find her?”

“There are others who have access to the fourth dimension who are not similarly guarded against,” Pluto affirmed. “They are searching for the princess. They will find her.”

Endymion shook again – flickered might have been a better word – and he pulled his rage around him again like armor. “When, Pluto? Before or after the Wiseman finds her?”

“There is no reason to believe they are even searching for the princess,” Pluto said unsteadily. Clearly, she didn’t lend much credence to this theory, and Venus knew Endymion was not the only one she was attempting to convince.

“Of course they’ll want her!” Endymion shouted. “You know what happened last time, perhaps every other time. They turned her against us, corrupted her. They turned her into something barely human.”

“I’ll find her,” Pluto repeated, her voice like sharpened.

Endymion shook his head. “How could you keep this from me?”

Venus barely managed to keep from intervening. How could he not know? How could he overlook her guilt? Venus was beginning to think she was the only one in the room who knew what was really going on, and considering she barely knew the other woman, she thought that was horribly sad.

Pluto exhaled quietly, still managing to conceal this from him. “It was being handled. What good would it have done to tell you?”

“She is my daughter!” Endymion yelled, causing Mamoru and Venus to wince. “You told me she was safe!”

“She is,” Pluto maintained.

“How can you know if you do not know where she is?”

Her magenta eyes flashed. “I would know if anything happened to her.”

“But this knowledge will not lead you to her,” Endymion spat. “What good is that then?”

Pluto bent her head, chastened.

“I have to wonder, Pluto,” the king said, his voice conjuring up an image of a rose’s thorns, “if you’re still keeping things from me. Is this another one of your games to preserve the timeline? Do you even care about her?”

No one could have missed the cold fury that bloomed in the Time Guardian’s eyes then.

She straightened with the hurried grace of a panther and stared down the king as if he was not a monarch of power, but as an equal who had taken one liberty too much. “King, I know that you are angry with me, and I know that the loss of your daughter is a grievance too great to be forgiven. You have every right to berate me and even to resort to violence if you so choose.

“But suggesting that I feel nothing for the princess is something I will not tolerate, however justified the feeling behind it.”

The king stared, shocked at being reprimanded by the sinner in the room. He seemed ready to dress her down all over again, but he then he stopped to consider her. Venus exhaled, releasing a tiny coil of tension in her stomach. She saw now that he was seeing what had been so obvious to the golden soldier: her own sorrow, her own regret, her own guilt over what had happened. She might not have screamed and cried, but she felt just as deeply – perhaps more so – over what had happened. To think otherwise was a grave mistake.

Venus thought that perhaps, on another day, the king would have acknowledged this, but now was not the time. He shut his eyes, unable to even look at her anymore. “Get out of my sight,” Endymion hissed, desperation evident in every syllable.

Nevertheless, Pluto nodded and vanished from their presence as quickly as she had come. She retreated back to her shadow world of unordered time, leaving Venus and Mamoru to contend with a tormented monarch. As she left them, Venus could not help but consider her own surety of what Pluto had been feeling. She had been as certain of Pluto’s emotions as she was of her own. Was this some other latent ability of hers, like the sixth sense about bad places, bad people, and lovers’ fates?

Or were she and Pluto simply more alike than Venus ever could have guessed?

-----

After Pluto returned to the Time Gate, Endymion had left them as well, sending a guard to lead them to their rooms. Clearly, the man was unnerved seeing the past selves of his king and one of the kingdom’s protectors, a sight likely not welcome considering the peril the kingdom was already in. As a result, the guard more or less gave them directions to where they would be sleeping as opposed to taking them there himself. Mamoru was relieved; he didn’t have the energy to deal with entertaining a new acquaintance.

Mamoru led the way, clearly having the better head for directions. Venus trailed behind him in respectful silence, her hands clasped behind her back. Mamoru was more grateful for it than he could say.

He couldn’t even begin to sort through all of the information he had been given over the past twenty-four hours. Being told that he had led a life he could not remember was earth-shattering enough. The revelation that the girls he teased and rolled his eyes at were magical warriors had only served to rock his foundations even more. Now he had caught a glimpse of a future dependent on that lost memory, and he had learned of a war and a unfathomable kingdom.

And to top it all off, he had a child.

Mamoru couldn’t say he had ever given thought to having children. He had never seen himself as the settling down type. Not to say he was a notorious playboy; he simply wasn’t the kind to open himself up. In every relationship he’d had, it would reach a point where his significant other would want more from him than he could give. Sometimes she stuck around for awhile, convinced she could change him, but she never could. So she walked away in disgust. Most of them were married to someone else within a year of leaving him. He was always invited to the weddings. He never went.

Without a woman to become his wife, the likelihood of having a child was slim to none. Granted, there was always the possibility of an accident occurring; he wasn’t a monk. Even with that in mind, he doubted the mother would have allowed him in the baby’s life, had she kept it. He would be a means of financial support to be sure, but what more could he offer a little boy or girl? He knew nothing about dealing with adults, much less children. He’d never even had a father, or at least not one he could remember.

But somehow, another version of himself had managed it. He had learned to love and open himself to love. He had gotten married and had a daughter. And Mamoru knew from the king’s recollections and even the look in his clouded eyes that he loved the girl. He loved someone wholly and without reservations, and he showed it to the world. Mamoru couldn’t imagine doing that, but in some other lifetime, he had.

Of course, such a feat seemed to be dependent on loving Tsukino Usagi, and this was something Mamoru could not imagine.

“I’m here.”

Mamoru whirled, surprised by Venus speaking. At first he thought she was offering him some comfort, but then he saw her pointing to a tiny symbol on the door. Mamoru was hardly an astronomy buff, but even he could recognize the symbol for her (he supposed) planet.

“Ah,” he croaked. “Right.”

“The guard said you’re those double doors at the end of the hall, right?” Venus said. Mamoru was aware that she was being gentle with him, something he was unaccustomed to from her.

He nodded. “We sure are in close quarters, huh?”

Venus shrugged. “It makes sense if anyone broke into your rooms that your guards would be nearby.”

Mamoru did not know how a fourteen-year-old girl had conditioned herself to think that way. “Of course.”

She offered him an uneasy smile. “Besides, I wouldn’t want to be isolated in this place. Would you?”

Mamoru glanced around at the crystalline vaulted ceilings, remembering how many corridors they had not gone down and how they seemed to disappear into the darkness. “I guess you’re right.” He took a deep breath, trying to settle the anxious gnawing in the pit of his stomach. “Well, good night.”

“Mamoru.”

He paused, looking over his shoulder. He noticed the sharpness of her jaw and thought he heard grinding teeth.

“Yes?” he prompted, seeing she was struggling.

“Thank you,” she murmured finally. “I know that today… wasn’t easy for you. Understatement of a lifetime, I know, but… I appreciate everything you did. Really. I wouldn’t have made it if it wasn’t for you.”

Mamoru stared, wondering what it was costing her to say this. She had shown him nothing but willful pride every time aid had been offered, and far worse when she was obliged to accept. Now she was thanking him without prompting and seemingly without motive.

“Please say something,” she added, chewing her lip.

He shook himself out of his reverie. “Right. Sorry. I… Well, I definitely wouldn’t have made it without you either. So I’m grateful too. Obviously. I’m sorry if I didn’t say that sooner.”

Venus smiled fully, her lips widening to reveal straight teeth. She almost looked like the Minako he remembered, and he felt himself relax at this evidence that the girl he had known was still there, underneath the soldier who scared him so much. Though how he would ever reconcile the two disparaging personalities remained a mystery. “You’re welcome.”

“And you’re welcome.”

She nodded to him, silently expressing gratitude one last time before retreating behind her door.

Mamoru sighed, rubbing his brow. The girl was undoubtedly the most exhausting person he’d ever met, even more so than Usagi. He wasn’t sure how to handle this change of mood and if this was an indication of things to come. Was every minute with her just another hill on her emotional roller coaster?

Or was it pity for all he had seen? Did she realize how much seeing this future and knowing of a lost daughter had shaken him? Or, no longer distracted by pain or the threat of violence, was she able to soften? Could she even consider forgiving him for the sin of forgetting?

Was this who she was when she wasn’t fighting? Or was she less a split personality and more an amalgamation? Who would she be when she woke up?

He had no idea. All he could hope to do was lay down and sleep, praying for the dawn to usher in some relief. And perhaps in dreaming he could make sense of his life. In sleep, it was possible he could grasp the memories that supposedly eluded him. This, he knew, would be the first step towards sorting out this tangled existence he had fallen into.

Unfortunately, though he fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, he didn’t have a single dream.

-----

Meanwhile, after seeing to each of her Senshi in turn, Tsukino Usagi settled down in her new bed to sleep for what she hoped was hours. Tending to each of her friends had been exhausting on top of everything else. By the time she laid her head down, she had barely been able to keep her eyes open.

And once they closed, she dreamed endlessly.

She saw herself wearing one of the gowns in her new closet, iridescent fairy wings glittering at her back. She saw someone who she knew was Demando sitting at the other end of a long table, but it was not the prince she had met that day. This was not a man, but a monster – a beast. His shoulders were broad beyond possibility, and white and silver hair (or was it fur?) glinted where pale skin should have been. His canine teeth peeked out behind full lips like an animal’s, and twin twisted horns protruded from his scalp. The only way she could recognize him were his eyes and his earrings, glittering violet and indigo like angry stars. Between them, the dishware danced and the silverware sang. A chipped teacup with Shingo’s voice asked her to go home, but the weight hanging from her own ears tethered her to the table as effectively as a ball and chain.

She saw Makoto fighting. Her fists and legs shot out furiously, pale blurs against a dark background. Her friend clawed at the air. She spit; she tackled. She moved on and on, warring against the opponent as sweat poured off her brow. She never stopped, never let up, even as Usagi screamed to her that no one was there.

She saw Rei naked and surrounded by fire. The red and gold caressed her bare skin, warming where it should have burned. Not even her hair singed as it danced within the heat and flame. She simply stood there as the fire engulfed her. Usagi had no idea what she was doing until she noticed what Rei clutched in her shaking fists. Yuuichirou’s broom, turning to ash.

She saw Ami surrounded by books. Hills and mountains and Everests of books, each with a title as unreadable as the last. Ami poured through each and every tome, wire-frame glasses perched on the end of her pert nose. She tossed each and every one aside, muttering to herself. Then she looked up at Usagi and confessed, “I don’t know the answer.” She had no eyes.

She saw Minako dressed as Sailor V, but it looked different. She had angel wings on her back, broken. One bent oddly, a portion hanging by threads of sinew. The other looked chewed to a pulp. Her back was to Usagi, her face hidden, but Usagi did see the red mask hanging from her fingers. It dripped blood onto the ground. She thought she heard Minako whisper something about being alone.

And she saw Mamoru. She saw him as Endymion fighting on her behalf. She saw him as Tuxedo Kamen, silhouetted by the light of the moon, standing tall as he came to her rescue. She saw the Tsukikage no Knight pulling the cloth away from his face, revealing that she had been right about him all along. She saw him as he was when he was evil, clutching the wound she had given him. She saw him newly healed and dying for her. She saw him reaching for her in the clutches of the Makaiju. She saw him as a lover, as a friend, as an enemy, as a rival, as an irritation, and a source of ecstasy.

But no matter how she saw him, he looked at her with eyes that did not recognize her.

She dreamed on and on, trapped in her visions and nightmares. All the while she slumbered, she remained unaware of the other presence in the room, pale as Mamoru was dark, eyes shining beneath his brow marked with the black moon.

He watched her without sleeping, but never once did he stop dreaming of the girl who lay before him. She who would become the white phoenix, the Neo-Queen.

She who would become his.





AUTHOR’S NOTE

I think I have just barely managed to miss the year mark. I am so sorry! I would offer up my usual excuses, but I’ll give you the truncated version: stressed and uninspired. Badda bing, badda boom.

But it is here, and I finally actually WANT to write fanfiction again as opposed to being obligated to do it. Let’s hope this feeling lasts! Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. Hopefully there will be more to come sooner rather than later. ^_^

Thanks as always to my lovely beta, Yumeko, and all of the readers who review this story.



Coming Soon – Part Twelve: Bond

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