Things certainly were a lot louder now that the Weasleys had arrived, Tonks reflected. Before, 12 Grimmauld Place had been full of a sinister silence, not exactly helped by the resident psychotic house elf (she didn’t care what Sirius said, there was malice in those eyes), her great-aunt’s raving mad portrait and Sirius himself, who when not full of slightly manic energy was up in his room with Buckbeak, brooding on past mistakes. Now that Molly and Arthur, the twins, Ginny and Ron (especially the twins) were here, there was actually some life in the place. Molly’s cooking meant that the other Order members came more often and stayed longer. Once the kids were sent to bed (probably hiding out on the stairs, if those ear pieces were anything to go by, but like she’d say anything), they would sit around the kitchen table with Butterbeers and flapjacks, talking long into the night. That was what she loved best: with some warm food inside him, Moody might be persuaded to tell tales of the first Order, with interjections and side stories from Sirius and small details and explanations provided by Remus Lupin.
Remus Lupin.
She’d been thinking about him far too much lately for her own good. When she’d joined, he’d been the most mysterious Order member (not the most surprising: that had been Snape). She knew he was a werewolf, of course, after that scandal a year ago, and had expected… well, she hadn’t known what exactly to expect, but she’d had some assumptions, based on the few werewolves she’d encountered through her work. They were usually embittered (understandable) or depressed (also understandable). Remus Lupin was neither: he seemed to be a quiet, decent man who did his very best to lead a normal life. After some subtle questioning of the kids, she found out that he’d actually been a great teacher (“best we’ve ever had” according to Ron). They were comfortable around him, which was saying something considering their different ages and personalities. Of the members they knew, Sirius could be unpredictable and they were all a little wary of Moody, for obvious reasons; the twins were fond of Mundungus but Molly’s obvious disapproval meant he never stayed for too long, and the kids’ antipathy for Snape was mutual. Tonks wondered if Lupin realised what a compliment it was that they all liked him so much. Probably not: low self-esteem was another thing she’d noticed about him, though he hid it well.
Tonight was the twins’ first night of staying up with the ‘grown ups’. Though they’d technically been of age long before they arrived, it had taken a couple of weeks to grind Molly’s resistance down to actually acknowledging this. So now they were sitting here with a Butterbeer each, eyes still bright despite the late hour. Their mother and father had finally admitted defeat and gone to bed. Tonks was feeling rather worn out but like she’d admit that. She could do without the “old lady” comments, thank you very much. Sirius was reclining in his chair with a lazy smile, unconsciously aristocratic in his ease. She smiled a little to herself, caught Remus’s eye and ducked her head, choking on a sudden spurt of affectionate laughter. It didn’t matter how much Sirius tried to slouch, how much scorn he poured on this house and his family, his upbringing still shone through.
“I’ve got a question for the two of you,” Remus said, breaking in on her thoughts, “and it doesn’t involve your merchandise.”
“Pity, we could do you a great deal on poison pens, actually burn the reader’s fingers, you could do a number on Snape,” George suggested, his voice deceptively casual.
Sirius snorted. “He won’t take you up on that, but I might.”
“Sirius, we’re on the same side now,” Remus said in a sing-song voice.
“And I don’t care,” Sirius replied in the same tone, “he’s still a git and he deserves to have his fingertips burnt off.”
The twins sniggered. Tonks shook her head. It was obvious to everyone except Dumbledore that Snape and Sirius loathed each other ‘cordially’ and were perfectly happy with this arrangement.
“What I wanted to ask you boys,” Remus went on, ignoring Sirius with what Tonks knew was years of practice, “was how Harry happened to come by that map of his.”
The boys blinked at him, identical round faces with identical round brown eyes, angelically innocent. Tonks almost choked on her drink and had to accept a handful of tissues from Sirius.
“Us, Professor Lupin?”
“What makes you think that, Professor Lupin?”
“Because I had a look at Filch’s records,” Remus said calmly, lifting the bottle to his lips, “being the careful man he is, he writes down each confiscated item, as I’m sure you know. And he also writes down who takes the items from him. I’m sure you know that as well.” He tipped his head back to drink from the bottle and Tonks found herself fantasising about how it would feel to have his lips fastened on her neck like that. A hot shudder ran through her body and she lost the first part of Fred’s reply in a haze of [i]Really should stop thinking about Remus like this, but those lips are just so perfect…[/i]
“Psst.”
She blinked and saw that Sirius was looking at her, grey eyes suddenly sharp, a hound scenting quarry. She raised her eyebrows at him.
“Who’s the lucky guy?” He grinned.
“Well, I’ll give you a hint: it’s not you,” she drawled, drinking the last of her own beer.
“Yeah, you’re right, I’m a bit too young for you,” he agreed solemnly, “but Remus… Remus is exactly the right age, I think.” His eyes glittered. Tonks consciously turned her skin a little whiter than normal and ignored him, tuning back into the conversation.
“… and it wasn’t fair that he didn’t get to go to Hogsmeade just because his aunt and uncle are ignorant twats, who—”
“Fred,” Remus said, his voice mild but with a slight edge. Fred stopped and twisted his mouth for a moment, then said, “Well, you know, they’re idiots.”
“And we knew that the map would help,” George finished. “And it did. He certainly cheered up a lot and that’s what we wanted. Besides, Sirius wasn’t out to kill him anyway.” He lifted his bottle in a silent toast to Sirius, who echoed the gesture with a nod.
“How come you know so much about the map anyway?” Fred demanded. “Did you use it as well?”
“Use it?!” Sirius burst out laughing. “Oh yeah, we [i]used[/i] it.”
“Does that mean you knew Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs?” George demanded, both twins now sitting forward eagerly, eyes bright with excitement. “They’re our heroes.”
“Helped us so much,” Fred agreed, “we couldn’t have built our current reputation without them.”
By this time, Sirius was shaking with laughter. Remus’s mouth was curled at the edges with a secret little smile.
“Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs?” Tonks repeated.
“The people who made the Marauder’s Map,” George explained to her. “It shows you every floor of Hogwarts, the grounds and the names of the people currently on your floor. Essential item for any out of hours excursion.”
“Really?” Tonks murmured, glancing at Sirius and Remus.
“Yeah, so if you could tell us anything, anything at [i]all[/i] about them, we’d be grateful; lifetime discount on products and everything,” Fred added, widening his eyes pleadingly at the older men.
Sirius spluttered with laughter. “This really is… the best night ever…” he choked.
“Can’t you laugh after you’ve told us about them?” George asked. “How well did you know them?”
“Oh, quite well,” Remus said, his smile slowly widening into a grin. “Because… we [i]were[/i] them.”
The twins looked blank, which made Tonks dissolve into laughter as well. Sirius was rocking backwards and forwards, holding his stomach, crowing. Remus’s shoulders were shaking and he kept wiping his eyes. “I’m sorry, boys, but we just couldn’t resist it,” he said in a croaky voice.
“You… [i]you[/i] were Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs?” Fred said in an awestruck whisper.
Sirius did a theatrical flourish with his hand. “The one and only. But just to clarify: [i]I[/i] was Padfoot – for obvious reasons, [i]Remus[/i] was Moony – again, obvious reasons, and James was Prongs.”
“Oh my God,” whispered George. He and Fred suddenly leapt to their feet and actually bowed, heads pressed into the table, arms stretched out before them rising and falling in serious respect.
“We are not worthy… we are not worthy…”
Tonks stuffed her fist in her mouth in order not to wake her great-aunt with her screams of laughter. Remus was staring at the twins with a mixture of amusement and bewilderment while Sirius was soaking up the attention and nodding with regal approval.
“Fred, George,” Remus said eventually as the twins continued to bow, “you don’t have to keep doing that.”
“We’re in the presence of greatness!” exclaimed Fred, still face-down on the table.
“Too right!” Sirius agreed. “Come on, Moony, these are our dues! Your ego’s almost dead from starvation, let it feed on something.”
“When you say James, you mean James [i]Potter[/i]?” asked George, looking up.
Sirius's smile softened for a moment, and he looked almost wistful. “Yep.”
“Harry’s [i]dad[/i]?!”
“My godson comes from a long and distinguished line of rule breakers,” Sirius said proudly. Remus shook his head with a smile. Fred and George gazed at him with undisguised admiration.
“But Remus, I thought you were a prefect,” Tonks said thoughtfully. “How did that fit in?”
“Not all prefects are goody-two-shoes,” Sirius said with a smirk. “Our Moony could be quite the daredevil in the right mood… with the right amount of encouragement.”
Tonks rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I bet. I can just see you and James persuading Remus and poor old Peter that it was only some harmless fun.”
“Peter!” Sirius’s expression changed in a flash. “Peter would have done anything to be included. He doesn’t change.” His face was twisted in bitterness. The twins were watching him, suddenly wary.
“I think it’s time we all went to bed,” Remus said, stepping into the breach as always. “Boys, I’m sure Sirius will be happy to answer your questions… and so will I… but another time.”
For once, the twins did not protest. They both got up, put their beer bottles in the glass bin, and left, murmuring their goodnights. Sirius didn’t move. He stared grimly at his bottle with unseeing eyes. Tonks felt the familiar anger and sorrow twist in her gut. “Sirius,” she said, putting a hand on his shoulder. She could feel the effort it took for him to wrench himself away from the anger and bitterness that had consumed him for so many years, the effort it took to look up at her and give her something approaching a smile.
“Sorry, coz.” It was a careless endearment that he’d once called her mother and he’d now given it to her as a sort of legacy. “Got a bit heavy there, didn’t I?”
“I bet Aunty [i]loved[/i] all that rule breaking,” she said, trying to jolly him along.
He bit his lip, the smile lingering but the eyes still dark. “Oh yes. I was a disgrace to the family name. A habit I don’t intend to break.” He pushed himself to his feet with a sigh that reminded her of just how old he was and how much he’d been through. “Time I turned in.” They kissed each other on the cheek and she felt the rasp of unshaven beard against her lips. He’d been letting himself go again. She swallowed on the lump. “Good night,” she whispered.
“’Night,” he said, and she watched as he and Remus hugged, brief but tight, as if clinging on for dear life. They made such a contrast: Sirius emaciated and unkempt; Remus clean-shaven, thin but looking almost chunky next to his friend. She’d never kissed Remus’s cheek but she could imagine what the skin would feel like under her lips, smooth and cool…
“Good night,” Sirius said in the doorway. He grinned for a moment, startling her. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“Well, that gives us a free rein,” Remus retorted and Sirius laughed before vanishing into the darkness of the hallway.
Tonks shivered. Seeing Sirius grin like that… it was almost like seeing a dead person’s face in the mirror, because when he grinned you could see the young man he had been, handsome and devil-may-care. And that young man was gone, never to return again. Even if Sirius was pardoned, even if he took care of himself and ate properly, he would never get back that careless joy in life. So unfair.
“Thank you.” Remus’s voice, bringing her back as it could send her away. God, if he only knew the power he had… but he didn’t. Small mercies.
“For what?”
“For helping me with Sirius. I appreciate you trying to cheer him up. You must be dead on your feet.”
“Just slightly knackered,” she agreed with a faint laugh.
“You could have gone home.”
“And have the twins ask me if I need a walking stick? No fear.” She stretched, standing on tiptoes and pushing her hands as far above her head as they would go. Her T-shirt rode up, exposing the pale white flesh of her belly and she felt his eyes there for just a second, burning her to the bone and deeper still. “I’ll be all right… it’s a late shift tomorrow, I can have a lie in, try and clean the flat. Catch up on the Weird Sisters news.” She yawned, her jaw almost cracking before she remembered to cover her mouth.
“Will you be all right getting home?” He’d stepped closer now, gazing down at her. Hazel eyes, hint of aftershave, long clever mouth… She licked her lips.
“Moony, huh?”
He smiled a little. “Yes. Moony.”
“I bet you did all the research.”
“Oh really? Why’s that?”
“Because James and Sirius may have been brilliant but they had short attention spans. You… on the other hand… you can concentrate. You’ve got stamina.”
He raised his eyebrows, trying not to smile. “If you say so.”
Tonks caught herself. “Mental stamina, I mean,” she said, suddenly clumsy, feeling the fatigue really kick in without the twins and Sirius to keep her alert.
He nodded, lips pursed to keep the smile in check. “Of course.”
“Who would have thought you were a former rebel underneath this quiet exterior?” Oh, she really needed to get home, she was thinking out loud, and that was [i]not good[/i].
“And maybe you’re a good girl underneath all this rebellion?” he suggested, reaching up and tugging very gently at a spike of hair.
“If I was a good girl, I wouldn’t be part of the Order,” she retorted, jerking her head away because the other option was to put it on his shoulder and that would just lead to all kinds of things she just wasn’t ready to face.
He chuckled, eyes warm with laughter. “Maybe we should distinguish between ‘good’ and ‘obedient’,” he suggested.
“That might work,” she agreed. “Well… I should go home… before I collapse on the floor. I don’t think Molly would be happy with me.”
“I’d be more worried about the ideas Sirius might get,” Remus muttered as he followed her out into the hall with a candle to light her way.
“What ideas?”
“Oh… that I got you drunk to have my wicked way with you…”
“What?!” They both winced at the loudness of her voice, but the curtains of the portrait didn’t move. She turned back to him and spoke in a whisper. “But you wouldn’t do that…”
“Of course not,” he said, visibly blushing even in the candlelight. Tonks caught herself thinking how sweet that was. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d made a man blush. Usually, she was the one who did all the blushing, usually for the wrong reasons. “That’s what Sirius calls hinting.”
“Hinting about what?” she asked, trying not to smile.
“Never mind…” He looked very flustered and grabbed the door handle, turning it slowly so that it didn’t squeak too loudly. “Sirius is bored and likes poking his nose into my business. He always did.”
“Comes of being a dog, I suppose,” Tonks said idly and then caught his eye. They both clapped hands over their mouths, desperate to keep the laughter muffled.
“Yes,” Remus agreed when they’d managed to recover. “I ought to take him for a walk.”
“On a lead?” Tonks suggested, trying not to grin at the thought of Sirius’s expression.
“I think he’d even go on a lead,” Remus said, the smile fading from his face. “He’s getting more and more frustrated and it’s only been a few weeks.”
“He’ll manage, he’s got you. Moony and Padfoot,” Tonks said, trying to make him smile, but Remus shook his head.
“There’s a reason it was ‘Padfoot and Prongs’,” he said quietly. “It was always James and Sirius. I may be his friend, but I’m not James… and that’s who he really wants.”
He sounded so forlorn that Tonks reached out instinctively, putting a hand on his arm and rubbing it. “Don’t go thinking you’re not good enough, okay? It’s a bad habit. And he’d be furious if he knew you were thinking that.”
“Yes… you’re right, he would be angry. Bad Remus.” He pretended to look penitent and Tonks felt another wave of laughter threaten her.
“You’re terrible!” she protested.
He smirked at her for just a moment and pulled the door open. “Good night, Nymphadora.”
She made a face. “I hate that name.”
“I think it’s beautiful.”
“Wha…?” The compliment was so unexpected that she could only gape for a moment. [i]“Beautiful?”[/i]
He smiled at her. “Yes. Very.”
“You’re insane,” Tonks told him. “You know that right?”
“It’s the full moon, it does things to me.”
She flinched, suddenly aware of what she’d just said. “Oh Remus, I didn’t…”
“I know. Don’t apologise.” He gave her a small, kind smile. “Good night.”
“Good night,” she mumbled, turning and hurrying down the stairs, wanting to Disapparate as soon as possible. She could feel him watching her but she didn’t turn around or wave. She needed to get home and kick the wall a few times and maybe call herself “idiot”.
It was only when she got home that she realised that in calling her name beautiful, he’d called [i]her[/i] beautiful. He’d been [i]flirting[/i] with her.
“Oh my God, I really am an idiot…”
DISCLAIMER: These characters do not belong to me but to J.K. Rowling, who allows us to borrow them.
