When routine bites hard
and ambitions are low
And resentment rides high
but emotions won't grow
And we're changing our ways,
taking different roads
Love, love will tear us apart again
And love, love will tear us apart again
Why is this bedroom so cold?
Turned away on your side.
Is my timing that flawed,
our respect runs so dry?
Yet there's still this appeal
That we've kept through our lives
Love, love will tear us apart again
Love, love will tear us apart again
Do you cry out in your sleep?
All my feelings exposed.
Get a taste in my mouth
As desperation takes hold
Is it something so good
Just can't function no more?
When love, love will tear us apart again
Love, love will tear us apart again
Desidé thrummed with charged energy and life. The cobblestones were filled with revelers and performers, music and laughter. Every person was letting their feelings loose and walking through the crowd proved challenging for Kunzite. Emotions stuck to him like feathery seeds as he brushed an arm or shoulder. Lingering behind, they made Kunzite feel happy or sad, enthralled or enraged. Some made him blush before being whisked away by an unseen wind. Flashes of memories or thoughts accompanied the feelings; a gentle caress, a sunny day, an electric kiss. He wondered how any of them could function with such sensory overload.
Loni expertly pulled him through the throng, seemingly unaffected. They managed to break through like sailors finally reaching the end of the storm. Kunzite heard himself release of small sigh of relief. The city opened up beneath them and he could see serpents of light snake through the buildings as people celebrated below. The sky grew ever darker above. In an instant, Kunzite noticed all these things, but he spent little time thinking about them. The crowd had left him feeling raw, exposed. He didn't care that the webs of control spun around his emotions were unraveling. Loni made him want to change; made him think perhaps there was a chance for him, that he could overcome the darkness with her light. He wanted to tell her all this, but looking into her sultry eyes momentarily deflected all thought but desire.
"Loni," he whispered his voice full of need.
As if of the same mind, the Sailor Senshi grabbed his hand. "Come with me."
It was troublesome finding somewhere to be alone. Every hidden nook and shadowy cranny seemed occupied by figures locked in intimate embraces. The latest alleyway had seemed promising until the sounds of sighs echoed from farther within.
"This is ridiculous," Loni huffed and Kunzite had in mind to ignore those around them, as so many other couples seemed to have done. The cover of impending night had given brashness and courage to those overcome by their emotions, or those wanting to give in. Before he could react, Loni pulled him out of the street and into the embrace of the alley. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her face against his. "Close your eyes and do not let go of me."
Kunzite did as he was told. Light dashed like lightning against his eyelids. He felt his skin tingle and the sensation of falling overcame him. The General didn't know which way was up, and fought the urge to peek. Before curiosity overwhelmed him, Loni's voice echoed through his head.
"Open your eyes, Kunzite."
The Shitennou quickly took in his new surroundings. They stood in a grand living space of muted gold and vibrant scarlet. Sand colored pillars with crystals glittering like distant stars formed a crescent shape around them and held up a distant ceiling painted midnight blue. Elegant metal furniture lounged around the space with a large bed the centerpiece. No privacy doors separated the space from a lush courtyard beyond. The colors of flowers were muted by a large, looming shadow above them. The planet of Venus covered the majority of the sky, the sun caught on its edge. It was an impressive and impossible sight.
"Where are we?" he whispered, afraid this was merely a dream.
"Does it matter?" He turned back and found Loni's face removed of all obstructions, her eyes somehow shining in the fading light. She reached up, her touch like wings against his cheek as she removed his mask as well. Kunzite forgot about the glittering masks, the coming night and the world floating above them. Unafraid of prying eyes they eagerly folded into each other. Loni briefly fumbled with the buttons of his dress shirt and he welcomed the cool air against his skin.
Her thin dress was more easily conquered. In one impatient motion, Kunzite pushed it off her shoulders and watched it pool at her feet. The Sailor Senshi shivered and moved to cover herself, seemingly self conscious. Yet she hesitated and he was glad for it. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Kunzite didn't let either of think much after that, kissing her mouth with abandonment.
The bed greeted them in its soft embrace as they clutched hard to one another. Kunzite was ready to give in to the fire consuming his heart and body, yet Loni gave him pause. She touched his bare chest, her hand splayed far across his skin. It was gentle but firm, keeping him from getting closer.
"Do you not wish to continue?"
She made a very unladylike huff, as if the answer was obvious. "That's not it! It's just that I, I've never, well…"
The sudden shy gaze in her eyes gave her away. "Loni…I will be gentle."
The look in her eyes changed, her soft fingers turning to nipping claws. He felt her smooth legs wrap around him, bringing him closer. "No, no. Don't you dare."
Kunzite did not know much beyond touch and reaction after that. Her skin against his burned like an inferno he did not want to escape, her lips a draught to quench a dreadful thirst. He felt exhilarated, like he was running towards a precipice with the unknown beyond.
Close to the edge he heard her whisper his name and gazed up into her eyes, so bright and clear like the skies of Earth. "Kunzite, don't look away."
He willingly obeyed, feeling like he would follow her anywhere. Those blue orbs suddenly burned gold and the shadow of symbol seemed to flutter across her brow. He had little time to think before he felt like he had leapt over the edge and lost all sense of space and time. Kunzite was inside the room but not, encased in his body yet somewhere else entirely. He could see Loni, though something else shimmered in her place, a tremulous thread beckoning to be touched.
The ivory lord felt himself reach out, although he did not think he used his limbs. As he connected a strange sensation seeped through him. It was like walking through the crowd of people what seemed like days before, touching and seeing some part of their lives. This was so much more; a deeper knowing than could ever be put into words or viewed through eyes. For an instant it was as if they were one, as if he knew all her fears and hopes, could touch her memories and emotions. As if he was her, and she was him. It was gone before Kunzite could grasp its meaning, yet he knew it was real. It was something he would never forget and it left him craving more.
****
Loni spent little time slumbering. For the first time in a long time; the waking world held more interest and wonder than her dreams. Sunlight filtered in through the smooth pillars of her bedroom and she knew they must have circled to the other side of Venus where daylight would reign for one long day. It took her a time to realize Kunzite leaned against the stone, so strong and handsome himself. If only every day she could awake to such sights, she thought.
The former princess sighed, stretching like a limber cat beneath the sheets. "Good morning."
Kunzite was silent in recognition but turned to face her, looking at her like she was a puzzle he wished to solve. He walked to the edge of the bed and sat beside her. She rose up, almost pausing to catch the covers in fear of being indecent. Some bridges she was glad she'd burned, however. A surge of heat filled her as Loni watched his eyes take her in and she did not think it was from embarrassment.
Yet his eyes found hers all too quickly again and they seemed filled with determination, but not to taste her lips or feel of her touch. For a moment she wondered if he was the same man as last night and worried that something had gone horribly wrong.
"You are making it difficult to concentrate," he revealed. The Senshi sighed inwardly when he quirked a small smile.
"I find myself out of apologies," she responded, edging closer to his skin.
"There are some things we need to discuss." His words stopped her, but it was his stare that kept her from complaining. Beneath the surface she could feel he wanted to reach out and grab her, but his authoritative face was a heavy mask over his feelings. He would get his answers no matter the cost. It was time for the truth; a truth that would bind them and never let them go. In reality she had made the choice for both of them last night.
Her stillness was her acquiescence, yet inside she trembled. "Where are we?"
"It's called Magellan Castle. When Queen Serenity brought the Sailor Senshi together, she created a place of power around our parent planet. This place is more than that, however. Only I, Queen Serenity, or someone I invite can enter this place. It is a sanctuary; somewhere I can escape and be myself."
He watched her intently, seeing inside the cracks of her tale. "You have never told anyone that before, have you?"
"No," she admitted. "It is not something widely known beyond the royal family and their guardians."
"Why tell me?"
It was her turn to stare at him, to see beyond the words. Up until this moment, Loni had given him every chance to walk away from this fate. He may not have realized the truth that tied them together. Yet in her heart, she realized he knew the answer. He just needed her to pour the first drop. "Don't you know?"
With only a second's hesitation he said the words she had both dreaded and wished for, for what seemed like forever. "I'm your Match."
"And I'm yours," she replied, repeating a line spoken by so many others before her. It was the only thing she could think to say with her heart beating so fast.
"You knew." It wasn't an accusation, but there was a hidden question behind his words. Why didn't you tell me?
She thought of that night in her mother's sanctuary. Seeing his face for the first time was a memory she always came back to, like a favorite photograph unfolded many times. "When I was sixteen I had my fortune read. Before I met you, I knew parts of you. About your strength, your pain, the weight you carry that's not your own. I've been dreaming about you since then; you, not some faceless man I could one day love."
She reached out, touching a strand of his hair as if to remind herself he was still there, real and breathing. "I wanted you to decide on your own. Not every Matched couple joins together in the end, but I would be lying if I said seeing someone's face and knowing happiness could be found inside their eyes doesn't influence the decision. But it does not have to be if they will it. I decided on my birthday the path I would take; it would be you, or it would be no one. I wanted…I wanted you to have the choice I gave up. You still do."
For one awful moment she thought he would pull away, but he reached towards her. "There is no choice, Valonisabaetha."
Unbidden, she let out a tiny laugh filled with relief, shock, and the recognition that all this was impossible. "We are fools."
Kunzite released her most favorite smile, the one that transformed his face completely. "Without a doubt. I have another question for you, about last night."
"If you missed any of it, I would be happy to replay the incident."
"Perhaps you should explain what it is you did to me. The experience has left me…unsettled."
She laughed. "You have a way with words, don't you?"
"I felt not myself. I felt…"
"Me," she said and propped herself up so she could gaze into his eyes. "It was Savéol. It is the greatest gift we have; it is the reason for all the celebrations and joins us together. It is the reason you came here in the first place, wasn't it? To witness our culture and what is important to us. We keep the real meaning to ourselves, however. There are many words and acts for love in our language, and Savéol is the most sacred. It is the act of sharing oneself with another completely, not only physically but mentally, emotionally, spiritually. You let someone touch the innermost part of your being. I think your people call it the soul. What you saw, what you touched, what you became was me, the part of me that is eternal. The part of me that will always be linked with you."
"How is that possible?"
"I don't really know how Venusians learned to do this, no one does. For some reason, our race is more in tune with the bonds that connect people. It is second nature for us to reach Savéol. After a time, you will be able to do it too. I could only hold it for the briefest of moments, but every Venusian knows it is much easier to achieve when our bodies are being exposed to… intense physical stimulation."
She raised her eyebrow at the notion, enjoying the slightly smug smirk that crossed his face. "Every time a piece of us will stay behind until we are so tightly knitted it would be impossible to separate us. With our guards down, I will be able to know when you're near. You'll be able to know when I'm upset. After a long time, even across great distances we'll be able to touch souls."
"You should have told me this, Loni."
He was right. She reached out without his permission or an explanation; Savéol was not something to be idly mentioned nor experienced. But when the time came, she could not stop. "I know. I took a great liberty that I should not have. It is a beautiful, but immense action that changes everything. I'm sorry, I just…"
Gently, Kunzite touched her cheek. The gesture spoke of acceptance, and she let herself relax into his fingers. He may not fully understand, but he was telling her he was willing to trust her. Not for the first time did she wonder what she had ever done in a past life, or would do in a future one, that fate would present her with such a match. She would have been even more foolish to ever let him go. "This is much to take in, but there is one part of Savéol I do understand."
He reached over the edge of the bed, quickly searching through his discarded clothing. When he returned he grasped a thread of fire in his hands. The ribbon was unlike any material she had ever seen; it seemed to ripple and shine like a scarlet river bereft of its banks. "It is a material from my home world called silk. I know it is not much, but when I saw it I thought of you. It is strong and gentle, always dynamic and vibrant."
She caught the fabric as he let it flow into her fingers. It was cool to the touch, but it kindled the fire of emotions inside her. Loni wanted to tell him it was exquisite, that she loved the feel of it and how it caught the light differently as you twisted it. Yet she could not get over the notion of what this meant: he had known. Somehow, he had known. "You, you got me a Savéol gift?"
"As I said, there was never really a choice."
"Kunzite…"
Regardless of her wishes, she could feel a tear trickling down her cheek. It had been many years since she wept, much longer still with tears of happiness. She refused to wipe it away but wanted to wear it like a banner for all to see.
"I have something to give you as well." She had thought hard about the first Savéol gift she would give her match some day. Loni sat up on her knees, willing herself to be still when all she really wanted to do was collapsed into Kunzite's arms once more. The Senshi let her powers wash over her and summoned her constant companion in battle.
She grasped the end link and for an instant wondered if she could even manage such a thing. Her chain sparkled against her bare skin as if telling her this was the right decision. With determination she reached deep inside and pulled. The link broke off with an explosion of sparks and pain that shot through her heart. It only lasted briefly and with a triumphant smile she held the broken link in the palm of her hand.
"I want you to have this piece of my chain," she said. "It's part of who I am. I will always be a Sailor Senshi, but I will eternally be your match as well. Keep it close to your heart, Kunzite. That's where you will always be for me."
"I will." He held it carefully, as if at any moment it might fall or perhaps surprise him in some other fashion. She could tell he was touched by the gesture, just as she was by the soft silk resting across her skin.
After that they simply held one another, sharing affections with soft kisses and caresses. All the words needed had already been spoken for now. She wished this day, this most perfect moment, could last forever. His skin was so warm and strong and she had only begun to trace the faint scars and marks. They were not imperfections to her, but stories of his life she wished to learn. She would never grow tired of mapping them out, or hearing his heart beating alive and well.
Yet it could not last. The time when people would start wondering where they were was too fast approaching. Soon they would need to wake from this blissful existence to the reality of their complicated lives. The next time they could freely hold each other like this, to understand each other and grow in a love mostly unexplored was beyond her sight. She did not know what their future would hold for them, if this newborn romance could survive the whirlwind world they were a part of; if in the end, it would be their ultimate undoing.
But for this moment, however brief, they were simply together. A hundred horrible unknowns were worth feeling alive like this, as fleeting as it might be. This was the beginning of something potentially beautiful, and no matter what might happen, she would hold onto the possibility of happiness as long as she could.
Love might tear them apart, but not today.
THE END - of the beginning
Author's Note: Thank you for everyone who stuck it out with me and this story from the beginning and to all those that joined us on this ride. I don't even know how it took me this long to finish. What once started out as what was supposed to be 5 linked drabbles for an LJ community turned into a fully fledged story with a world I came to love myself. I hope you enjoyed the journey. I don't know what the future will hold, but thank you for the time, comments and support you have given me.
