Like the Wind by Starsea

Like the Wind

By Starsea

Rating: PG-13


"I know more about you than you do, because I watch you all the time."

Neptune to Haruka, Episode 106

_______________________________________

She's like the wind through my tree;
She rides the night next to me;
She leads me through moonlight -
Only to burn me with the sun
She's taken my heart
But she doesn't know what she's done…
_______________________________________

The first time, I wasn't sure. Just like everyone else, of course. I saw the tall spare figure get out of the racing car, narrow shoulders fitting the blue racing jacket so well, the blond hair falling over the high forehead in a soft fringe as he took off the helmet, just shadowing the eyes. Hands in pockets. Slouching slightly to disguise the height like most tall people. It must be uncomfortable for him in there, such a cramped space for such long limbs. The conversation dimmed in my ears, my fingers tightened around the bar in front of me . . a whisper in my head, a trembling of recognition from deep within . . who was he?

"Kaioh-san?" The man glanced across. "Ah, I see. Excellent race, don't you think?"

"Who is he?" I murmured.

"Tenou Haruka. The rising star of motor racing . . you haven't
heard?"

I shook my head. "The name is familiar…" Tenou Haruka: the distant sky-king.

"Also a track runner, 100 metres, Olympic material I hear."

That was it. Loads of girls of my school had been talking about a 'Haruka-sama' lately, wondering what it would be like to drive with him along the coast. I smiled. The tall blond figure was waylaid by a crowd of girls, hankering for his autograph. I felt a shiver run down my back.

"If you will excuse me," I murmured.

"Of course, it is a little crowded, ne?"

If my parents had not schooled me so well in etiquette, then perhaps I might have made a sarcastic comment, but I only smiled again and left. In the toilets I saw that my forehead was gleaming with sweat. Strange. I didn't usually exhibit signs of stress. I wiped my skin and looked at the traces of water as they sparkled on my fingers. He wouldn't have sweated, he held himself together even in that crowd of screaming fans. I gazed into the eyes of my reflection . .
aquamarine. Opaque and mysterious like the sea, one of my would-be suitors had once said . . spare me the desperate efforts of school boys in love. He would scorn such clichéd sentiment.

What was this? I hadn't even met the man, only seen him . . but I'd known him from somewhere before. I touched the glass, watching my reflection reach out to me. "It's you," I whispered. "It has to be you…Tenou Haruka-san." For a moment I saw that tall slim figure again, and another voice inside me said Finley-hime… Finn… I blinked. Maybe I had been out in the sun too long.

But that night the dream came again, the dream of the Gotterdammerüng, the blasted wasted land, the blood-red sky. The world was being destroyed, and I was the only one who could save it. I saw the bodies of my companions lying on the ground, so young, too young to fight . . I saw her in her beautiful white dress, the same white dress that she had been in the last time I saw her, lying on the ground, streamers of lovely golden hair, pool of dark blood beneath her . . it was always a blurred image because I could never bear to look fully at her body, it caused me too much pain. Dressed in my sailor senshi uniform I floated over the round, searching for the Messiah of Silence, the Destroyer. And then, for the first time, I sensed someone else, a person similar to myself. My breath quickened. I went in the direction of this presence, and discovered her for the first time.

Tenou Haruka.

I say 'first time', because that was when I realised that Haruka was female, and that was when I set off on a whole new path. I was privileged, allowed to look behind her façade, look into her dreams, into the mind of a frightened woman, not the superconfident Tenou Haruka of the circuit and track whom all the girls in my class dreamed about. I have never forgotten that privilege.

In the dream, I wasn't even surprised at Haruka's sex. She whirled, her eyes bewildered and furious. They were the soft green of the Mediterranean, full of intelligence and skill. They widened in disbelief as they saw me, she obviously had no idea who I was. 'Uranus,' I thought sadly. 'Don't you recognise me?' For a second I pleaded silently with her to say something, do something, anything to make my task easier. Then I felt ashamed of myself – Pluto's task was far harder than mine, yet she never wavered or whined. She did her job without complaint, and so must I.

"We must find the Messiah quickly," I told Haruka. "We are the only ones who can." Her face twisted: and I realised that she did know who I was, did know what this meant. But she didn't want to know. She didn't want this destiny. She turned away, throwing out her hand to stop my words, and I woke up, drenched in sweat, gazing up at the ceiling.

"Haruka-san," I whispered. I had to find that girl. I had to talk with her. My dreams never lied: she was the one who could help me, the other soldier with the power to prevent the Apocalypse. I thought of her, so tall and slim, those deep green eyes, that soft amber-blonde hair…

"Haruka-san," I said softly. I fell asleep thinking of those eyes.

_____________________________

Feel her breath on my face,
Her body close to me;
Can't look in her eyes:
She's out of my league.
Just a fool to believe
I have anything she needs:
She's like the wind…
_____________________________

I knew what I had to do: Haruka was not the type of person to open up easily. I had to get her alone. But how: we hadn't even been introduced. And we moved in totally different worlds, those of sport and the arts. But surely there must be some mutual companion I could call on . . I was Kaioh Michiru, there were hundreds of people waiting to claim acquaintance with me, and yet not one of the candidates, as they ran through my mind, could have anything to do with a girl like Tenou Haruka. But I wouldn't give up! I couldn't give up…

"Michiru-san?"

I glanced up. "Elsa-san!" Stunned, I stood, and we bowed to each other.

"I knew it had to be you," she said with a smile. "No-one else has hair like yours."

I smiled, taking a strand and curling it around my fingers.

"Arigatou," I murmured, trying not to seem vain, whilst inside I was leaping for joy. Here she was, the person who could take me to Haruka! Elsa Gray: she was a huge track success, everyone expected her to be in the next Olympic Games. She was nearing her prime, she had the perfect figure for sprinting: tall and lanky with narrow shoulders
and hips. Just like Haruka.

"Michiru-san, daijobu desu ka?"

I blinked, looking into her grey eyes. "Daijobu, Elsa-san. Are you going to be in the race this Saturday?"

She beamed. "Hai! That was just what I was coming to talk to you about! I . . I would be honoured if you would come and watch me race, Michiru-san." She bowed. "I'm up against a real talent this time."

"Honto ni?"

"Her name is Tenou Haruka…"

I caught my breath. "Of course I'll come, Elsa-san! I wouldn't miss it for the world!"

She straightened, beaming. "Excellent! And then afterwards, if you're not too busy, we could maybe catch up on old times?" She handed me the ticket.

I took it, and read the writing so that I didn't have to look her in the eyes. "Hai, Elsa-san, of course." I ignored the little voice that said I wasn't going for Elsa-san at all, I was just going to see Haruka. Elsa-san was one of the few acquaintances I did like . . ‘Then why didn't you think of her just now?’ taunted the voice.

I looked up. "Excuse me, Elsa-san, I have to go and practice."

"Of course! Ja ne, Michiru-san, see you Saturday."

"Ja ne." See you . . and Haruka-san…

Saturday was very sunny, promising to be sultry too. I decided to wear something light but pretty. I brushed my hair extra-hard. I put on my favourite perfume, but stopped short at make-up. ‘Look at you, Michiru. Anyone would think you were going out on your first date, and you probably won't even meet her. Besides . . you don't want to make too much effort. That might just put her off.’ Put her off what? I slammed the brush on the table and rose before I could criticise my reflection. I was going to cheer Elsa-san on, that was it! 'Honto ni?' said that little voice.

Elsa-san had given me a really good seat, naturally. As I sat down, I could hear the familiar lull in conversation, and then the sudden rush of whispers ripple away from my seat.

"It's Kaioh Michiru!… Yeah, right… I'm serious, it's really her!…Look at her, what's she doing here?… Maybe's she supporting one of the athletes, I hear she and Elsa Gray are really good friends… She's even prettier than on television… Beautiful and talented, what a combination… They say she's really intelligent as well… Wow, if I just had her looks, I'd count myself lucky…"

I closed my eyes. My parents had been lucky. They'd created the perfect little girl, they'd always said so at their dinner parties: normally, a little girl of my age wouldn't have been allowed, but I was so polite, with such beautiful manners, that they made an exception for me. I was their little doll. To be shown off, and then put away. I held myself against the sudden shiver that came over my body. There's a difference between being proud of your child, and actually loving them. I knew all about that difference.

"And now the 100 metres, the one which everyone's been waiting for…"

I sat up, just like everyone else in the arena, but I didn't have to strain to get a good view of the candidates. There was Elsa-san . . she met my eyes and risked a small smile before getting into the starting blocks. Haruka was in the lane next to her. She wore a dark blue vest, with a big white 4 emblazoned on the front. It hung loosely off her thin shoulders. Her arms and legs, by contrast, were packed with hidden muscle. Lots of people were calling out her name in support, but she didn't react at all. She was totally focused on the 100 metres in front of her. Or not focused at all . . the realisation made me gasp.

"Michiru-san?"

Karen-san, Elsa's mother, gazed at me with concern. "Daijobu desu ka?"

I blinked and smiled at her. "Daijobu. I just . . I heard that Tenou Haruka was really good," I commented, as casually as possible.

"Oh! Hai, Haruka-san is supposed to be very good, extremely fast," Karen-san agreed. "It's the first time they've run against each other. Elsa's been looking forward to this match for a long long time . . Haruka-san's the young star to beat," she finished, and then smiled. "But nothing my Elsa can't handle!" She waved her fan in support.

I stared down at the runners again. The starting pistol was raised, and a sudden hush fell over the arena. The shot seemed to let loose a flood of screaming, even Elsa's family was calling out her name. I couldn't speak. I leaned forward, gripping my own fan tightly. It was obvious from the start that the race was between Elsa-san and Haruka, and Elsa-san was really going for it. Such passion could not lose . . I glanced at Haruka and felt my eyes widen. She wasn't even trying. I could feel the energy from her, and though it was twice the level of Elsa-san's, it wasn't above the level I'd sensed before. She wasn't even sweating. And now she was pulling away from Elsa-san . . the screaming reached tremendous heights . . when she crossed the line, she didn't bend over and pant to repay the oxygen debt, but walked about, scanning the crowd with those cool green eyes. Such arrogance . . but then, she was obviously of Olympic material herself. This race had just been one of many for her. I was intrigued.

Elsa-san shook hands with the other athletes, who all seemed very pleased with themselves. She glanced at Haruka, not annoyed or disappointed, but enraptured. I felt my heart clench for a second, and was surprised at my reaction. It was a totally new sensation, and gone before I could put a name to it.

Elsa's family were heading down to greet her, and I followed them, my heart thumping. Elsa-san beamed at me.

"You were really good," I said honestly. She'd done her best, and Elsa-san's best was normally enough to ensure a comfortable win.

"Hai . . not good enough. She's just what they told me."

I didn't tell her that Haruka hadn't been trying, that would have been cruel. At the moment she was packing her things away into her bag. I noticed that her coach wasn't there, that she didn't have an entourage, she didn't have anyone, she was all alone. My heart warmed with sympathy.

"You want to meet her?"

I blinked and looked into Elsa-san's bright eyes. "Nani? Um . . if you wouldn't mind…"

She laughed. "Of course not!" She strolled over to Haruka and I followed her, my heart now doing triple time.

"I've got someone here who really wants to meet you. She's a brilliant painter…"

I winced. That was all I needed: a gushing list of my many
accomplishments.

"Kaioh Michiru. Michiru-san, this is Tenou Haruka."

We bowed to each other. I found myself finally looking into those fierce green eyes, their strength and passion hidden behind a mask of indifference. "I enjoyed the race," I said softly, praying that she wouldn't find me superficial. "Your running was so natural. You didn't even break a sweat. I think you were holding back." I let a slight teasing tone invade my voice there. Something flickered in her eyes, alarm, interest. I could feel Elsa-san looking from one of us to the other, highly interested at our reactions to the other. Haruka felt her gaze at the same time. The mask came down again, and she shrugged, deliberately not replying . . saying that I was right. I felt elation run through me that I could read her body language.

The slightest breeze moved the blades of grass in the centre of the arena. Haruka turned her head, sensing the movement immediately. I caught my breath: it had to be her. "You can hear the wind rustling, can't you?" I said, challenging her.

I saw her stiffen for an instant, but she masked it well, she was used to being in the public eye, just like me. Perfect… I caught myself before my thoughts progressed further. Her eyes were on my face again, wary, taking me in. She recognised me, which is in itself rare . . our sailor senshi auras protect us from being identifed too easily. I saw her recognition and rejection in the same moment.

"What do you want from me?" she demanded, speaking for the first time. Her voice was husky, low for a woman, contributing to the masculine impression that she gave. Her eyes were holding mine, calm, with a tinge of contempt. They were thrown into shadow by the intense sunlight, so that she had the advantage over me both physically and verbally.

Her question threw me into a slight panic. What did I want from her? 'You are the partner I have been searching for, the one who will help me prevent the end of the world, you are the second soldier of the future, Sailor Uranus, guardian of the skies and winds, the one who will complete me…’ Complete me... As if I was lacking in something. But didn’t I know that already? Hadn’t I known it from the moment I set eyes on her? But this was not the time to ponder such things: I couldn’t say that right in front of Elsa-san and her family! She'd called my bluff, and we both knew it. We'd only met a few seconds ago, and already we could read each other like books. I let my gaze wander over her face, noble and proud, the high forehead, the deep-set, glinting eyes, the soft androgynous mouth and nose… She was also easy in her body, and had the ablity to stay still. "Would you be a model for my painting?" I asked politely, crossing my fingers and toes, everything hanging on the answer. Everything.

I could tell that Elsa-san was surprised, but she nodded to me slightly, seeing Haruka's potential.

I could see Haruka consider it, the flash of interest in her eyes . . then Elsa-san said, "You would make a really good model, Haruka-san."

I winced. She couldn't have known what that would do.

Haruka looked at me, her eyes and face completely hard, mask firmly on. "Gomen ne, but that just isn't my sort of thing," she said brusquely. "I'm sure you can find a much better model than me, Michiru-san." For just a moment, her voice softened. I caught her eye, and begged her to reconsider, but I only made it worse. "Excuse me, Elsa-san, Michiru-san, I have to go." She turned and strode off towards the exit.

"Matte!"

I ran after her: the voice of etiquette, which usually dictates all my moves in public, had a nervous breakdown.

She got onto her motorcycle just as I came out of the building, even when walking she was fast, those long legs of hers made such wide strides.

She put her helmet on, and then glanced at me. Her eyes, shielded, as she thought, by the screen, were sad, wistful, even apologetic. Then she revved the bike, and shot off at a speed that even I could tell was illegal. 'You can run all you like, Haruka-san, but you can't escape from me. You can't escape from destiny,' I thought, watching her disappear amongst the traffic.

"Michiru-san!" Elsa-san ran out of the building. "Boy, you can really run when you want to, you know that?" she said, smiling as she came up to me. "Don't be too downhearted. Haruka-san does have that reputation. She's always a bit cool, apparently. Still . . I really thought she would accept for a second."

"Hai," I murmured, letting the wind cool me, caress my face.

"She seemed to like you."

"Do you think so?"

"Hai . . which is why I'm so surprised she brushed you off." She grinned. "I think you actually got to her."

I smiled. "Now that would be something to write home about. Don't worry, Elsa-san. I should have known… Haruka-san isn't the type to give in easily."

Elsa-san stared at me curiously, but I didn't explain. I was castigating myself inside. I was a fool to expect that Haruka would simply agree to work with me, be my partner, be anything more than an acquaintance. We were from different worlds, she had made that painfully clear. I should have known that she would reject me after her actions in the dream, the dream had warned me, just as my dreams always did, but I'd ignored it. For the first time ever, I'd ignored the warning. Why did Haruka do this to me? What did she have to offer me that was so important? More to the point, what did I have to offer her? A life of struggle, of facing evil after evil, of continuous fighting. No wonder she had rejected me. I would reject it myself if I could. But I wasn't that selfish. And I didn't believe that she was, either. I wouldn't give up at the first hurdle. I would keep on running.

I turned to Elsa-san and smiled at her. She was being very understanding. "Shall we go and celebrate your prize?" I asked.

________________________________________________

Am I just foolin' myself
That she'll stop the pain?...
Just a fool to believe I am anything she needs:
She's like the wind…
________________________________________________

I didn't see Haruka for some weeks after that, but I wasn't worried. I knew that sooner or later we would meet up again, it was inevitable. She was my counterpart, the sailor senshi of the wind and skies, and we were bound together by the laws of fate. I found out as much as I could about her from her fans at my school – fortunately for me, she had a lot of fans. Or should that be 'unfortunately'? She hadn't seemed to care about her popularity. I was so focused on her that I neglected my friendships, which were difficult to maintain anyway in the face of my violin and swimming practice. I planned to start the cello when I felt that I was confident enough on the violin. After Haruka had refused to become my model, I lost interest in my painting, and it took a backseat. She had said that she wasn't interested in that sort of thing, so we wouldn't meet in that world. I let my contacts slide, and went into seclusion to practice for the upcoming concert on the 'Sea Breeze', a luxury cruise liner that was celebrating its one hundredth birthday. Naturally, the press, always avid for information about me, spread stories that I was a misogynist who deserved her isolation. I hoped that Haruka wouldn't believe that: certainly she must have experience with the papers, she would know that it was to be taken with a pinch of salt.

When the big night arrived, I was deliberately gracious to everybody, quashing the rumours of my hostility towards people. It amused me that people could comment on my beautiful manners in one breath, and then talk about my coldness with the next. I had stopped feeling hurt by such comments long ago: which no doubt contributed to my reputation for iciness. 'Marine Cathédrale' was in fine form, sounding sweet and golden. I played a few arpeggios before my stage call, and it was perfectly in tune. I smiled, and then smoothed down the dress they had given me. It was white: not my favourite colour, I preferred aquamarine to bring out my eyes and hair, but as my mother always said, I had the sort of luminous skin that could take any colour.

The captain announced me, and I was greeted by applause and a shower of flashes as I stepped onto the stage, my professional smile pasted on my face. I curtsied to the audience, and as I did so, I saw her sitting just a few metres away from me. Tenou Haruka. I could not mistake that hair. She was wearing a tuxedo with a ruffled shirt, obviously more comfortable in men's clothes. I wondered if she deliberately tried to create the impression she was a man. Our eyes met: she looked irresolute, unusual for her, I could tell. She was uncomfortable with the sensation. I let a small smile flit across my lips, just for her, and then I rose, stepped up to the microphone and began to play without a word.

It was the theme from 'Schindler's List', perhaps one of the best violin pieces in recent years. Delicate, haunting, I could feel the audience settle under its spell. The violin almost wept in some places, especially when I had to go into fourth position. I was aware of the heat of the lights, of the vibrating strings under my fingers, the hard warm wood under my chin as it nestled against my shoulder, and most of all, I was aware of her eyes, hard and fierce as she watched me. She didn't want to be spellbound. I could feel her resisting the sound, like the faintest hint of an out-of-tune
instrument in an orchestra. I could feel all her attention being focused on me. She was angry, infuriated in fact by this coincidence . . and yet, also happy. No wonder she felt so unsure. As I reached the final semibreve, she stood up abruptly and disappeared from the room. I wasn't disappointed, or even distracted. I was elated: Elsa-san had been right, I did get to her. We both knew it.

I finished the piece, and curtsied again in dead silence. The crash of applause made me jump slightly, along with some calls of 'Bravo', from Americans of course. People rushed to congratulate me and introduce their friends. I smiled and smiled, desperate to find Haruka.

The captain was the last to speak with me, his quiet dark eyes shining with pleasure. "Marvellous, Kaioh-san, simply marvellous," he said, taking my hand and bowing over it. I appreciate real courtesy, and my smile for him was genuine. "Arigatou gozaiamasu," I said. "I was wondering, captain, have you seen Tenou Haruka-san?"

"Ah, the elusive Tenou Haruka-san," he said with a smile. "Do you know her, Kaioh-san?"

"Slightly."

"I think she went to the gallery."

I bowed. "Arigatou."

"Dinner will be served in ten minutes."

"I'll tell her."

Before walking to the gallery, I made sure that my violin was back in its case, strings free of resin. As I laid it in the dark green velvet, a sudden thought seized my mind. One of my paintings is in the gallery… I didn't know what to think: it was the painting I'd done before I became a sailor senshi, when I'd thought that my dreams would stop if I simply expressed them in an artistic way. The painting of the wasted city, just black and white and grey. No real colour anywhere. Completely desolate.

It didn't improve things: in fact, my dreams got more intense. I was glad to finish that painting. And as luck would have it, Haruka was standing and looking at it when I found her. I sat down on the steps, deliberately inelegant and enjoying it. I watched her watching the painting. I wasn't stupid enough to think she hadn't noticed me, she was simply making me wait, and I was good at waiting. Patience is a virtue, my parents always said.

"You seem to know a lot about me, Kaioh Michiru," she remarked, finally turning her head and looking me straight in the eyes. Haruka was already the most direct person I knew, even if that wasn't difficult in my world.

"You're a hero at my school, Tenou Haruka," I said, deliberately using the male form. "Rock-star famous. My school's filled with your fans. One of them wants to ride in your car and drive with you along the coast." I smiled. "Even though she's a girl."

Haruka looked at me keenly, her eyes searching my face. For jealousy? I smiled gently at her. The silence hung between us, both of us refusing to look down, back away. I might seem demure, but I can be fierce and stubborn when I need to be. Something filled the air between us, a certain heat, an emotion. I felt my skin prickle. Her breathing seemed to quicken. She tore her eyes away and looked at the painting. My heart ached. 'Haruka-san . . why do you keep pushing me away? You can't fight it forever. Please . . let me in.'

She reached out to touch the painting, but stopped. "How can such a sweet girl have such a horrible imagination?" she murmured, almost to herself.

I froze, my heart pounding hard in my chest. She called me sweet, she called me sweet…'Sweet' is not a word that people use for me. It implies someone pure, lovable, open. I can think of one person who fits those requirements perfectly . . and it's not me. I have always been mature for my age; and I am too serene to be 'lovable'. I come from an ancient family, I learned manners from an early age. Honesty does not come naturally to me. Perhaps that was why I was so attracted to this woman (she may have been my age, but she was not a girl). She was always true to herself, she never bothered to hide her opinions, and she got away with it. She didn't know how lucky she was. Then something snapped inside me, the mixture of desire and urgency soured as I realised just how obstinate she was. I glared at her. "It's not from my imagination!" I said. "It's real, or it will be. I can see my destiny and so can you!"

She stepped back, her eyes clashing with mine. "Listen," she said, "my memories are none of your business."

"Ah, so you do have memories?" I pursued, relishing the chance to fight with a worthy adversary.

She blinked, momentarily confused, and then she was back on track. "Hai, I have memories of a former life. So what? They don't matter."

Not only was she being deliberately cruel, she was lying. And not only to me, but to herself. I wouldn't let her do that, I wouldn't let a truthful person like Tenou Haruka deceive herself.

"You know that's not true, Haruka-san," I said, meeting her look for look. "You know that they matter more than anything."

"Who says?" she demanded. "You?" And she sneered. "The end of the world is none of my business."

"It is everybody's business, Haruka-san, it's everybody's world."

"What does it take to get through to you, onna? I don't care. My interest is motor sports. Just motor sports. If you want to save the world, fine, go ahead! But you do it without me. I have better things to do, I have dreams to fulfill, and saving the world is not one of them."

I was infuriated. "Do you think I like doing this?" I demanded. "Do you think all I want is to fight against the kind of evil which can actually destroy our world?! Let me tell you something, Tenou Haruka, I don't want to do this anymore than you do! I have a dream as well: to play my violin…"

"So why don't you play your violin? You're very good. You could probably be the best if you tried. Why not just forget all this?" She stepped closer. Suddenly the anger and denial were gone from her face. Her green eyes were warm, soft for the first time, her voice dropping even lower, reminding me of the wind playing gently with summer leaves…

"Haruka-san…" Her face was very close to mine. I felt weak. Her hand suddenly caught mine and pressed it to her chest. I could feel her heart, beating fast and hard against my palm. I gasped. Her other hand took my chin and brought it up again. Those eyes were liquid soft, beckoning me closer. "We could realise our dreams together, Michiru-san," she whispered. Her eyes so warm. "I knew you were different from the moment we met. Think of it. Just you and me. No more loneliness, no more wandering. The two of us."

"Us?" I whispered. It's so potent, that word 'us'. It holds magic, such magic, especially if you've been alone, if you've experienced that isolation of having no-one that you can talk to, no-one to make you laugh or cry, no-one to share your dreams with…She knew how seductive that word was for me. She knew me too well. Already.

"Hai, Michiru-san. Us. I know how much you've suffered. I can see it. I'll take you away from that. I won't let you suffer. What's the point of fighting for a world if you have to sacrifice your dream in the process?" Her forehead rested against mine. Her heart was beating faster. I could feel mine beating in rhythm. She was right . . so right. In every way. In every possible way.

"Haruka," I whispered, my eyes sliding closed.

"Michiru," she murmured, her breath warm on my lips.

'Neptune . . don't give in. You are a sailor senshi, you cannot
abandon the people…'

I pulled away, put a hand over my mouth. I had so nearly given in . . so nearly succumbed. I wasn't half as strong as I thought. Haruka looked just as stunned . . from the fact I'd backed away. Then her eyes darkened, narrowing at my rejection.

"I can't," I said calmly, though something wept inside me. "I'm not going to abandon my duty. I couldn't live with myself knowing that…"

I didn't finish. She shrugged, indifferent once more. "It's your choice, I respect that. But I warn you, Michiru-san: I don't give second chances." Her eyes held me, cruel in their arrogance, and yet still so beautiful to me.

I swallowed, knowing that she meant what she said. She'd opened herself to me once, and I'd hurt her. I didn't deserve a second chance in her eyes. I didn't want to refuse her. But I couldn't sacrifice my mission for anyone. My mission was more important than my life. "That's the difference between you and me," I answered, turned and walked away, head high, back straight, not looking over my shoulder despite the burning sensation on the bare flesh of my back. She didn't move, she kept watching me until I was out of sight. Then I fled to my room, locked the door, and cried on the bed. I was half-surprised at the flood of tears, I hadn't thought I was that upset: maybe it was accumulated tension. I knew that I'd done the right thing, but it didn't make me feel any better. I wanted her. My whole body was aching from that one encounter, from pure frustrated lust. And something more. That tenderness in her eyes . . I didn't think I was being conceited in saying that it wasn't for anyone else. I'd seen inside her heart. She'd been totally honest with me. And I'd refused her offer, stabbed her open heart. Who knew what damage I'd done? It didn't matter that I hadn't wanted to, the fact was I had done it. I wouldn't ever see her again. I curled up with the pain this thought produced. Why did I have to realise this only when I'd ruined any chance of a relationship between us?

I sent a message to say that I was feeling unwell – no doubt Haruka would sneer at it – and fell asleep, exhausted by the night.

That night I was spared visions of destruction and bloodshed and corpses. Instead I had another dream. Or was it a vision? Even now, I’m still not sure. I don’t care either. It was beautiful.

I stood in a great palace, made of crystal or something similar, with transparent walls and beautiful flower gardens with fountains, surrounded by the three seas, Tranquillity, Fertility and Serenity. The Earth hung before me like a clouded jewel of blue and emerald. It seemed so close that I could almost reach out and touch it. I wore a dress of aquamarine crepe that trailed behind me, and strange bracelets were on my arms. I caught my reflection in the walls as I passed, and my hair was bound back by a strange sort of tiara so that it fell down my back in ripples and ruffles. Then I saw her. The Queen. And a fire seemed to grow inside my heart, so that it swelled and beat harder, stronger. I felt a smile flower on my face, and I sank into a deep curtsy.

"Your Majesty."

"Neptune."

Her voice was so soft, yet so strong. She wore a dress of silver silk that flowed to the ground like water made into material. Her skin was creamy, her hair a platinum-white that glittered in the faint earthlight. It was gathered into two chignons at the side of her head and then fell in two long ribbons to the ground. The royal hairstyle, the thought came from somewhere far away. The royal emblem of the crescent moon was visible on her forehead, shining like gold.

"Neptune, you are worried."

"Hai, Serenity-sama."

"Do not fret about Uranus. She will find her own way. You two will work together." She reached out, and the touch of her fingers on my cheeks was as cool and soft as the wind. "You will be together soon, Neptune. I promise you that."

I took the hand and kissed it. "Serenity-sama." My voice was soft, filled with the instinctive love that this woman provoked in me.

"You don't regret your decision?"

"Not for a moment, Serenity-sama." And as I said it, it became true.

"Be strong, Neptune. Keep searching. You are very close." She bent down and kissed me on the forehead. I felt a brilliant warmth there for a second, and touched the skin. There was a pattern of hard smooth material: I saw my reflection in the wall opposite, and it was the symbol of Neptune, glowing green in my forehead.

"Now go," said the Queen. "You have done so well up to now, Nerissa. Be patient. Everything will come right in the end."

I nodded. "Serenity-sama." And then I woke up with a smile on my face, sunlight pouring in through the windows, and the sea rocking me in its grip. I smiled wider and turned on my side. Queen Serenity. She was the one who had called me to my destiny back in my past life. But this time, it had been different. Far more urgent. Far more terrifying.

When the attacks had started, my first dream had been not of the Queen, but of Pluto. I had been dressed in my uniform, a cold wind blowing through my hair. She had called me Neptune, but it hadn't seemed strange, I'd even liked it.

"Neptune . . dark forces are threatening the Earth once more. They come from another galaxy which was lost, they will try to take over this one. They will bring destruction. They will bring the Silence."

That word had brought chills to my mind – I knew instinctively that this silence had a capital at the beginning. Everything in my body tensed.

"You must awaken."

She had opened her hand, and showed me my transformation wand, topped with the star on which the symbol of Neptune was engraved. "The next time one of their youma strike, this sceptre will appear before you. Take it and cry 'Neptune Planet Power! Make Up!' You will know what to do afterwards."

"Pluto…"

"Neptune, please remember that whilst your powers can amply defeat the youma, there is only one person who can fully defeat the aliens themselves, and that is the Messiah of Light, who wields the Holy Grail. You must search for the Messiah as well, for only the Messiah can truly save the galaxy."

"I will do everything in my power to find the Messiah and prevent the destruction of this world, Pluto."

And that was it. With those simple words, I signed my life away. Strange: in the dream, I knew exactly what I was getting into, but in real life the demands of my duty make me feel angry and cornered sometimes. It was as if Haruka could already foresee what would happen to her life if she accepted the duty as I had. I couldn't really blame her. I decided that I would leave her alone, we were both smarting from our last meeting. And the next time we met, I
would give her a choice, it was what she deserved. But then, I hadn't even given myself a choice, had I? Deep down, I must have known all that this would entail. Certainly I don't blame Pluto, not one bit. Who am I to complain when her duty is so much harsher than mine? In the dream, I was filled with admiration for her. I still don't quite know who she is or was. Neither do I know who Serenity-sama is, beyond the fact she is my Queen, and I would willingly die for her.

I waited, and kept an eye on Haruka's actions in the meanwhile. I was always at her races, which she usually won, but I made sure that I was as anonymous as possible, and that there was no chance of meeting her. I knew that it was only a matter of time. My patience was rewarded. They're very anxious, our enemies. Greedy, grabbing as many opportunities as possible. It's a good strategy: if I hadn't been there, they might have achieved their objective by now. My information on them was very low back then, and time hasn't really improved it, though the search has narrowed rapidly since . . but I'm getting ahead of myself.

It was at a motor racing track. I could have sensed the stench of its energy from a mile away. It was a particularly strong one, and I wondered vaguely who its poor victim was as I raced to the scene. Whoever it was, they were putting up a good fight, usually they would have been absorbed by now, and the monster would have moved on. As I fought my way through the smoke to the door, I could hear someone
shouting. Something froze inside me as I slammed the door open.

It was Haruka. She was reaching out for a wand that hung in front of her, similar to mine except that it was blue instead of green and had the symbol of Uranus carved on its golden star. My heart threw itself against my ribs. I won't let you be tricked into this, Haruka! You have to understand just what you're getting into! "Don't touch it!" I snapped, and she stopped, turning her head. Her eyes widened in disbelief: I was the last person she would have expected to turn up. And it was a little too convenient for her liking. Her eyes narrowed. "Once you touch it, you can never return to your normal life," I said to her, laying all my cards on the table as I should have done at the beginning. Her eyes widened as I held up my own wand, seeing the resemblance.

"Neptune Planet Power! Make Up!" I yelled, and the light whirled around me, the sensation of waves rushing against my body, the call of the sea in my ears. I felt the planet symbol glow on my forehead for an instant as I struck my pose and did my speech. "Heralded by the new age, I'm the elegant Sailor Neptune!"

It's probably the only time I've ever seen Haruka speechless. Demure elegant Kaioh Michiru a sailor senshi, just like those five from Tokyo, fighting an alien monster without even blinking? Even Tenou Haruka found that a little difficult to take in. I really should be flattered.

It's also the only time Haruka has ever got in the way. I had the monster cornered and was just about to kill it, but she grabbed my arm.

"Iya! Michiru-san, you can't, there's a human being inside that thing!" I sighed. Time for more home truths. I looked her straight in the eyes, and even under those conditions I was struck by their strength and beauty. "The Silence is approaching," I said, and her eyes widened in understanding. "If I don't kill this creature, many more will be sacrificed as a result."

Her eyes darkened and she nodded. "So you don't choose the methods."

"I don't choose the methods."

Our eyes met, and for one moment there was an understanding between us, as our hearts opened again. This time, there would be no rejection. The thing took advantage of my lapse of concentration, and launched itself at Haruka – they don’t have much, but they do have instinct. We both saw it at the same time and gasped.

"Haruka-san, look out!" I leapt in front of her, pushing her down to the ground, and felt its claws scrape down my back. I screamed in pain, and heard Haruka cry out in fear beneath me. "Michiru-san! IYA!"

Even through the haze of pain, the fact she was worried about me gave me strength. I stagged to my feet. "Deep Submerge!" The youma trappings fell away, and the human inside was revealed. He fell to the ground, totally exhausted. My hands were stinging and aching from the force of my attack. It had been personal that time: I wasn't going to let anyone hurt my Haruka. Then my knees trembled and I sank to the ground. I felt Haruka catch me, hold me. She called my name. I opened my eyes and looked into her face. She was pale with worry, her eyes fierce with anxiety. "You shouldn't," she said, unable to get the words out. "You shouldn't have done that. If you hurt your hands, you won't be able to play the violin."

I smiled: she'd nearly been killed, and she was worried about my dream. There was such a tender heart underneath that indifferent shell. "You know, I didn't snoop around just because you're a sailor senshi," I whispered. Her eyes widened.

"You didn't?"

"Iie. Before I knew that you were the one . . I was in the crowd watching when you raced for the first time. I always wondered what it would be like to ride in your car . . along the coast. Just once."

Haruka closed her eyes for a moment. She muttered something under her breath: "All this to ask me for a ride?"

I chuckled to myself. "I'm very persistent," I replied softly.

She opened her eyes and we smiled at each other for an instant. She looked as if she was going to cry. "I've always admired you, you know that?" I said. "You never ask favours of anyone. You're always loyal to your feelings."

"Loyal?" She looked stunned. "Me? I think you must have me mixed up with someone else, Michiru-san. I'm not loyal: I'm always running away…"

I shook my head. "Iie," I said. "I know more about you than even you can know, Haruka-san, because I watch you all the time. I didn't want you to take the same way that I did." I paused, closing my eyes. "Still, I was happy when I found out that you were the one…"

"Michiru-san…" Her voice, huskier than ever, trembled slightly. She leaned forward, and I felt her lips brush against mine, barely more than a feather touch, but it sent a wave of heat right through my body. "I won't let anyone hurt you again," she whispered. "No-one's ever going to hurt you as long as I'm around, Michiru. I swear it. I won't let anyone damage your pretty hands." She touched them, and I smiled.

"It's alright, Haruka," I whispered. "I know. I understand. I
understand."

My words died as we looked into each other's eyes. Words weren't needed when you could see straight into a person's heart.

* * *

As we drive along the coast road, I feel the wind kiss my hair and face. I tip my head back so that it cools my forehead. I'm thinking about lots of things . . the first time I met Haruka . . Queen Serenity . . the five sailor senshi of Tokyo, especially that Sailor Moon.

_____________________________________

She's like the wind through my tree
She rides the night next to me
_____________________________________

She doesn't give up. We should be annoyed, but we're not. Something about her . . it's so difficult to refuse her pleas to join up with them. Those huge light sapphire eyes, so pure and sweet, so innocent in spite of everything. So difficult to say no to those eyes. But she'd only get in the way, they all would. They're too weak to keep up with us, we're in a different league, that's obvious every time we fight. And yet she keeps asking… From her, my thoughts progress to Tsukino Usagi. A young girl that we recently met.

________________________________

She leads me through moonlight
Only to burn me with the sun…
________________________________

Little Usagi-chan . . she should keep away from us. We're dangerous. Even to rabbits. Especially, you might say, to rabbits. We have a mission that we must fulfill at all costs. We'll destroy anyone who gets in our way. Anyone. Even Usagi-chan. Even sweet Tsukino Usagi, with those lovable pure blue eyes, and that funny hairstyle of hers.

______________________________________

She's taken my heart
But she doesn't know what she's done
______________________________________

'Odango Atama' Haruka calls her, and it's true. Those chignons at the side of her head, which catch her mass of blonde hair back and leave it to stream down her back in two tails, like ribbons . . like ribbons . . I catch my breath . . no, it's not possible . . but that hairstyle, the royal hairstyle… I shake myself. It’s entirely possible that after hundreds of years, a girl might ‘invent’ that hairstyle again. Certainly Usagi-chan has the hair for it. A whole waterfall of shining, glittering blonde, caught into two streamers of hair.

My heart catches and I grip the side of my seat. Ribbons of hair, covered in blood. The chain of logic forms before my eyes, but I won’t look at it, I won’t! Usagi-chan is innocent. Let her remain so. Let her remain just as she is... Let her not be a part of this bloody, foul business of murder and world domination. She is above it all. Just as she should be. Little bunny rabbit, unaware of the darkness in this world. I let out a shuddering breath. I have scared myself: no, I am scared for her. For all the innocents that rest on my shoulders. For all the innocents I have killed.

"I'm really glad I met you."

"Nani?" I am caught off guard, and glance at Haruka. She has that look in her eyes. I feel a wave of heat wash over my body.

For all the innocents that rest on our shoulders. For all the innocents we have killed.

____________________________

Feel her breath on my face,
Her body close to me;
Can't look in her eyes:
She's out of my league.
____________________________


Looking into those warm green eyes, I find my strength. She gives me strength.

Don't be silly, Michiru. You're imagining things. Usagi-chan, Sailor Moon? Usagi-chan, your princess? Can you seriously imagine Tsukino Usagi fighting youmas? Sailor Moon is brave and persistent and even graceful sometimes . . They have the same hairstyle: Usagi-chan's probably a fan. There are probably hundreds of girls in Tokyo with hairstyles just like Sailor Moon's. Oh but that word ‘probably’. How it nags at me. How it twists and bites. How it forces me to acknowledge that sometimes, sometimes, I look at her and I wonder... I wonder...

No. It's nothing. Nothing at all.

Nothing...

I turn and look at Haruka. I smile shyly. She’ll never know how much I need her.
___________________________

Just a fool to believe
I have anything she needs:
___________________________

"I'm not going to let you go tonight."

I glance at Haruka, and she smiles. Our hands find each other, and she grips mine in that firm warm grasp I have come to know – and love – so well.

It’s such a magical word, ‘us’. It makes everything alright. Even murder.

____________________

She's like the wind.
____________________


DISCLAIMER: *pins it on the board* I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS OR THE STORYLINE. You know who they belong to, if you don't, read someone else's bloody disclaimer, because I'm too tired to write them all out except the most important person, Naoko Takeuchi. Wish she'd hurry up with some more 'Love Witch', though. The lyrics featured in this story are from 'She's Like the Wind' sung by Patrick Swayze featuring Wendy Fraser; this song is on the soundtrack of 'Dirty Dancing', and I don't own it.

GLOSSARY
Arigatou = Thank-you

Arigatou gozaimasu = Thank-you very much

-chan = A suffix mainly used by females to indicate affection and youth.

Daijobu = I’m fine

Daijobu desu ka? = Are you alright?

Hai = Yes

Honto ni? = Really?

Iie = No

Iya = Male pronounciation of ‘iie’. Haruka speaks like a man.

Ja ne = Bye! See ya!

Odango Atama = Dumpling Head (odango are Japanese dumplings; according to Mamoru… Haruka… and Seiya, Usagi’s buns look like odangos; well that’s three against one!)

-sama = An incredibly formal suffix used to indicate deep respect, for royalty and gods. Obviously, Serenity’s both. ^^;

-san = Formal suffix, meaning ‘Miss/Mr’; think of your Jane Austen novel, where everyone is usually Mr, Mrs or Miss. That’s how formal Japanese is.