Short Stacked
By papirini
Once upon a time, there was a cowboy by the name of Bret Maverick. The fastest gun in the world, yeah. The most rugged guy you'd come across, sure. But he sure knew how play a good hand of five card at the tables. He always got the highest bets, won the best hands, and saved the prettiest girls west of the Pecos - all within a matter of 60 minutes.
I could beat him with one hand tied behind my back and then some the moment the cards were laid down on the table.
Most guys can't say it with feeling, but I can back that claim up, too. Cards are in my blood. My dad was a ranchero in Argentina who would go into shoot outs over a bluff with his fellow vaqueros regularly - at least three times a week. My mama knew Marlene Dietrich in America and learned how to bluff a good storm from her. I myself came out of the womb with an ace of spades clutched in my fist. Now that's a pedigree!
….that can't be substantiated. Haha. I wish that was me. My dad's a banker whose main job is to stock the ATMs and thong venders because no one else wants to. My mom's a housewife who couldn't lie - or dance - herself out from under a bridge if she didn't bring a wooden spoon to smack people with -which is what she does almost all the time to everyone around her.
But I didn't lie about my being better than Maverick. He was my hero when I was growing up, but now, he'd probably run away from me screaming bloody murder at the sight of me. There's no one better than me at cards in the whole of Japan, maybe the world. That's why they call me Pokiro - because I'm the master at card games!
….Well. that also can't be substantiated. But I bet I could beat you, anyways.
-
It was…..hum, about three months ago when the story really began (aside from my birth, of course. Which was wonderful in it's own way, because it was me that came out!). Three months, two weeks and four days ago, to be precise. I was sent from the high-priced private school I went to over in Azabu and transferred to a dinky public middle school in Juuban. The pits, I tell you, the pits! I made some friends and became a part of the card players’ club, but there was not a decent card player in sight, and even worse, not much of a purse to bet on. Not like the uppity students I'd play with at my old school; those bets went up quite a bit - I won 50,000 yen against a guy on a bluff in a game of war. War!
Not that I was totally bummed, since there were plenty of people to play with.
"Hey! Pokiro! Over here!"
My reputation as an unbeatable card player had preceded me, and instantly I was challenged by the big guys on campus to see if I was really as good as everyone said I was. But of course I'm as good as I say I am! That's why I would win at cards all the time.
My strategy, as simple as it sounds, has worked wonders for me throughout the ages. I've always had three rules which gives me the invincible advantage:
1. Almost always bet low, then, bet high. This makes you look extremely stupid. Your opponent normally has no choice but to bid everything they have, though they think you've made a really crappy move;
2. In draw games, like rummy or whatever, always pay attention to the cards. You'll know which cards they're going for and can stop them from getting the pairs they want;
3. Play a convincing bluff. They'll never know what hit them.
I can't tell you how much money I made off those suckers. Every day at lunch, or at break time, I'd have someone challenge me at every single card game imaginable - all of which I knew, so it was impossible to sneak in a game I didn't know. With the money came the girls, especially the ninth graders, who always admired the qualities I possess, which no others do. Like intelligence. Or the ability not to smell like a dirty sock.
Oh yeah, that reminds me:
4. Never smell like a dirty sock. Your enemies think you're a geeky pushover this way and never expect an attack.
Anyways, girls talk a lot. They talk about guys (me) and about people they admired (me) and about the most handsome person on campus (…The principal, but I'm a close second!). They also talked about homework and more female things, but I was smooth about it. Especially around the ninth grade girls, since they could be pretty sensitive about that type of stuff.
"Huh."
"What a dork."
"She's ok."
"That one just won't do with us."
"A total pushover, that one is!"
"Oh. You want to be near her!"
But it was from the mindless chatter that I learned about the way the school worked. About the castes, about the cliques. Who to avoid and who to be seen with on campus.
"Woah."
The girls suddenly stopped me one day, on their way down the hall, They went to abruptly that I, wrapped in between them, almost had my arms ripped from my torso.
"Woah, woah, woah." There was a look of contempt on (Mimi? Kori? Demo??) one of my girls' faces. "Now that…."
I looked up in front of me to see what it was they spoke of. The contempt in their voices indicated an enemy of the first kind. Indeed, , I could almost feel the lasers coming from their eyes as they spotted their prey.
She was nothing much - short, thing, pale. She looked ready to shatter, or perhaps go swimming in her school suit, as she was small enough to do so. Other than her frail appearance, there was nothing much to see - cropped black hair, dark eyes, nothing there to really excite me. Apparently, she didn't excite my girls either, as they simply kept staring at her until she left the hall, her head hung down.
"…Now that one, Pokiro…." My lead girl that day (Ariko? Emi? Running out of names…?) sneered. "That one we don't converse with at all."
That's how I learned about…the one they called the Loser.
-
Nothing much, they said. And she really wasn't. She was as weak as she looked, too - she was exempt from gym because of a hole in her heart, a spastic colon, combustible lungs or something horribly tragic like that. She didn't do any after school activities - she just went straight home. She was a witch with weird powers who was kicked out of her old school for hexing the old principal – I never saw them, but someone did see, and soon everyone had known about it. She didn't talk much to other students, and of course they didn't talk to such a worthless specimen - one whom they didn't even call by her real name.
In fact, the only one who could stand to be near her was one student my girls called the Midget, who sported a very interesting hairstyle and abnormal shortness. Despite being a dwarf, she was class president, and hence more acceptable to the student body, since I never saw students insult the Loser in front of the Midget. How they became friends, my girls didn't know, but whatever the case, the two of them were suctioned together at the buttocks.
Suctioned at the buttocks? Well, I knew I could find a way to separate them. The Loser was nothing I really could care about; she was a nobody. But to impress a girl like the Midget would be a fitting feat for one who was better than Maverick. She really was intriguing for a short person, and very beautiful. On top of apparently being smart (somehow!) she had hair that almost looked white in certain lights, and albino eyes - very strange for a girl of Japanese descent, let alone anyone ever.
So I set to woo the girl.
"Ohayo!"
She did not respond to my calls as she walked down the halls. Thinking that she maybe didn't hear me, I shouted louder, attracting the attention of a few students. She still didn't respond, and went into her classroom without acknowledging me.
But of course I wouldn't give up at that. Why should a dashing man-boy like myself give up after one minor failure? That would go against everything I stood for! I felt myself fortunate, therefore, that I was in her gym class, so I naturally managed to catch up with her.
"Ohayo!" This time, I was right next to her, on the volleyball sidelines, where there was no escape. "Hello there, Chibi-Usa-chan!"
"…..Don't call me that."
"Isn't that your name, dear Chibi-Usa-chan?"
"Hmph." She abruptly turned away from me, letting me catch the scent of her lovely shampoo. "You can call me Tsukino-san, Mora Hideki-san. That's as much respect as I'll allow."
“You can call me Pokiro. Everyone does.”
“I'm not everyone, so leave me alone.”
"Aww, don't be so sore." I gave her my best puppy face. "I'm a member of the eighth grade class, same as you! All I want is to talk to you for a little bit. What's so disrespectful about that, Chibi-Usa-chan?"
"Everything I've heard about you is disrespectful." To my surprise, she started to walk away! "You have no regards to people's feelings. You hang out with the type of company I'd rather not think about."
"I'm…a very nice person!" I felt myself getting a little annoyed at the Midget's resistance. "Besides, you can't believe everything you hear. Especially if it's from just one source."
She turned towards me at this, and I expected her face to sort of light up at this, and her to exclaim, with a cute little squeak, 'well, pokiro-san, I never thought of it that way! teeheehee!' Most girls tend to be very one-sided with stuff like that, especially when friends are talking blandishments in their ear. I was never sure what the Loser was saying about me.
"….You jerk."
*KA-POW*
Indeed, I never saw any girl look so angry towards me, and definitely never heard any girl say the things she said under her breath to me after her more public outburst against me. In fact, I'd never had a girl punch me before.
That meeting had a lot of bad firsts for me. Worst of them all was that it was the first time a girl had rejected me over a stupid friend. I knew, as I lay on the ground with my bleeding nose, that I had to exact revenge.
-
I knew full well why the Midget had rejected my very polite and very kind advances. It was because of the Loser that the girl I really wanted was kept from my grasp. It was humiliating to know that the most eligible girl in the school had refused to join me because of her stupid pariah for a friend was a whiner.
But I was not one to let such a thing go unpunished. I made sure that the school knew of this crime, and who was responsible. By sundown, the whole school knew of the Loser's unforgivable transgression against me, and my poker buddies from this new school had convened with me on the school's rooftop to discuss what to do.
"….We could kill her." That was the suggestion of Ichi, the seventh grade gin champion. "Kill her and dump her in a toxic waste site. No one would know the difference."
"Except her guardians." The somewhat corpulent Uno master, Oro, raised his hand. "They're pretty scary. Besides, it's too much blood."
"Well, we can't just beat her up!" Ichi huffed. "We did that last week to Nobuyuki. There has to be some variety."
"Ichi is correct," I replied. "The Loser's punishment must be unique in this instance. It requires the loss of honor, just as I lost my honor."
"….Maybe we could rape her."
This suggestion from Saito, the ninth grade grand master of bull, immediately caused an uproar among the council. After all, loss of honor and statutory crimes do not go hand in hand, at least in our high-minded band of brothers.
"……Hey, wait, you're not serious?!"
"Um….." Saito sighed. "No. Not really. But it was creative."
"Are you insane?!?"
"What an ass!"
"The Loser has no ass…."
"Guys!" I waved my arms. "This is not about you. This is about me, so no rape. Pay attention for a second."
At this, the guys quieted down, allowing me to continue. An idea had come to my mind by that time - one so brilliant and so amazing that it was bound to succeed.
"We have to show the Loser where she stands in the world, correct?" The crowd nodded. "Well, we have to show her in our way." I nodded. "You all know what that means."
The board nodded again, and cheered. They all knew what I was suggesting!
-
The plan had been immediately put in motion, and it was estimated that everyone would know of the event we were planning by next day's lunch. Which was perfect, because that was when everyone would be watching as I humiliated the Loser in a showdown to remember.
That night, before I crept underneath my card pattern bed sheet, I carried out my special card-player ritual, just as I did every night, to my idol and my god.
"Dear Maverick," I clasped my hands together in prayer and bent before my Maverick poster. "Please bless me with good luck tomorrow so I may overcome obstacles and save the school from falling apart, just as you saved all those towns. In the name of Garner-san, amen."
I crossed myself, and proceeded cautiously to the more important part of my ritual. Maverick is my idol, and is my inspiration, of course, but most of my power doesn't come from him. Whatever powers I didn't possess (and these are few and far between!) I gained from my god. My god was the epitome of destruction and devastation, and I always called upon her to aid me in wreaking havoc among my challengers. That night, I decided to ask her once more for strength, and something extra.
"Dear Sailor Saturn," I kowtowed in front of my dresser. Every night this became the altar of worship, for I had a Sailor Saturn resin model (which I did all by myself!) placed there, surrounded by little chibi Sailor Saturns. "You are my favorite character, other than Bret Maverick, but you hold more power than he does, so I'll ask you for this favor. I must beat the Loser tomorrow so I may bring Chibi-Usa-chan to my side. More so, I must give the Loser a taste of real humiliation so she may leave forever. Please aid me in ensuring that the proper victor will emerge tomorrow. Amen."
With that, I went to bed. I was assured of the outcome tomorrow. I knew Sailor Saturn would come through.
-
It all began, just as we had planned. The word of what was to happen spread through the school like wildfire. How could it not, when the Loser was involved? Everyone knew she was an untouchable, but that she was only around at the behest of the Midget. Once that tie was severed, she would simply disappear.
Of course, I didn't think it would involve cards, at least not at first. After all, I'm Pokiro! A man of the school! Surely even the Loser would listen to me. So I waited after school broke for lunch on the rooftop. Several dozen students followed me up there initially, but within ten minutes, almost every student in the school was up there with their bentos and snacks, circling me..
“Where is she?”
“The seventh graders are getting her up here.”
“Good,” I nodded. “Not that she can fight them. Such a weakling, isn't she?”
“Yes.”
I heard a commotion near the stairs, and that was how I knew that the Loser was coming up. I saw the crowd shift about, making way for the unruly outcast as she was finally thrown into the center of the circle by numerous hands. Her dress was wrinkled, and she had a few barely visible scratches on her legs, but considering who she was, she made it to the engagement well-off.
“Hello, Loser!” She fell to the ground in front of me. “Nice to see you made it.”
She grabbed her knee as she slowly stood up, coughing. I thought I saw a hint of blood, but when she removed her hands, I saw that she didn't have any cuts or bruises. That was good; even if she did, no one would have stood up for her if she accused me of hurting her.
“Uuh...”
“What's the matter?” I crossed my arms. “Short of breath? How pathetic. You're even worse than I thought.”
“.....What do you want, Mora-san?”
“Pokiro. And you know what I want.”
“I do?”
“Of course you do?” I rolled my eyes. “Surely, Chibi Usa-chan told you about me. Just like you told her all those lies about me and made her turn away from me!”
“Is that so....?”
She stood up straight to stare, but I notice she wasn't staring directly at my face. She was looking down somewhat, towards my body, which made me think of some really sick things.
“What are you looking at? Ecchi!”
“....No I'm not.”
“Liar! What are you staring at, Loser!?!”
Before the Loser answered (or maybe she never planned on answering, the freak!), there was a small commotion right behind me. I turned and saw several females who turned away and disappeared into the crowd.
"Hey! What's going on?!" Suddenly, I heard the Midget's voice in the crowd. "Let...me through!"
"It's her. Keep her out of this," I instructed some older students. "Don't let her get through."
"Hey!" I heard her angry shouting, but I knew it was for the best. "Get off! Off of me!!"
She obviously struggled, but it was to no avail. My guys had her, and even if the Midget had succeeded in wresting away, the other students wouldn't have let her through. It was all good for me; there were no interruptions. Her cries echoed through the rooftop as they started to drag her down the stairs.
"Let go of my friend, Mora-san." I saw the Loser's fists clench. “Now.”
"Friend?" I repeated this word with scorn. "You don't deserve her as a friend. She's the class president. What are you?"
At this, the Loser's head went down. It was just as I had wanted; Sailor Saturn had granted my wish and gave me the power. I was telling it as it was to the Loser; perhaps (though I doubted it!) the worst of my punishment would not have to be levied.
"I will tell you what you are. You, Loser, are a disgrace to this school!" I pointed to her. "Why you're higher on the evolutionary chain than pond scum is beyond me."
The people around us were snickering at this. I was reveling in the power I had over her; it was not as if anyone would want to help her, either way. Finally, I could air out all of the dirty laundry in public, so that all could know how detestable the Loser was. She, of course, stood silently, not speaking, not looking up at me.
"In every way imaginable," I continued. "You are nothing. But like a leech you cling onto the class president. It's because of you that Chibi Usa-chan humiliated me without provocation - naturally you had to lie about me to make it that way! But it's going to end today. Today, I challenge you to a duel, and you're going to learn your place, you little piece of crap!"
There was a silence at this. Everyone stared, watching as the Loser's shoulders shuddered ever so slightly. I, of course, felt very proud. I had finally shown her my power. Surely the little baby would break down, ask for forgiveness, and agree in a quivering voice to break off her friendship with the Midget.
"….Is that all?"
The answer was irritatingly calm, almost as if she had been almost entirely unaffected by my speech. Of course I was angry. The crimes the Loser committed against me kept piling up.
There was only one way to break her properly.
"Fine!" I spat. "You're such a high and mighty person, aren't you?"
"I'm only as high as the company I keep."
"Well," I turned to my cohorts. "We'll see how high your are after our duel. Hand me the cards."
The crowd broke into a cheer as Ichi held the rubber-banded American Bicycle deck to me, caressed carefully in two hands. He presented it with a slight bow, and I snatched it up into my hands. I snapped the cards a few times, the sound of it exercising my mind for the battle to come.
"We will settle this once and for all." I brought the deck to my chest. "In the manly way, of course, with cards. We each get 10 chips to bet with. The person to win all 20 chips is the winner. And once I win, you will promise never to see or communicate to Chibi Usa-chan again for as long as you live. Understood?"
"….If you win….and I win?"
"What do you mean, if you win?"
"….You don't touch her again."
At this, the Loser finally looked up at me. Her eyes were oddly emotionless, which disconcerted me a little. Then I realized that it was just another one of her tactics, and it angered me even more.
"Very well!" I huffed. "Let's get to playing poker then."
"…I don't know how to play poker."
"Oh, really?" A snicker came from the crowd. Well, then, what do you know how to play?"
"……Rummy."
"Just plain old rummy?" I smirked as I shuffled the deck. "Ok then. You sure you don't want to play old maid, or some other easy game that you'll have a chance at?"
"I prefer rummy."
"Ok then." I shuffled the cards. “Remember, once you lose your 10 chips, you're out.”
“I know.”
“Then let's go!” I put in two chips. The bet is two chips.”
She slowly put up two chips as well, and I dealt the cards, seven a piece. I was pleased with the hand I received: three 4's and two queens. I looked up to see the reaction of the Loser with her hand, and saw nothing. She just sat with her head on her hand. Pathetic!
“Well?” She picked up a card, putting down a queen. “Good. My turn.”
“Are you always this pompous?”
“Shut up.” She threw down a 6. I picked up one last 4. “I win.”
I grabbed the chips, and then put in four chips for the next turn. Slowly, she put in her four chips, and dealt, looking down at her cards quietly before picking up the top card. I looked at my hand and couldn't believe what I was seeing. Four kings and three 2's!
“HA!” I slammed down my hand. “I win again!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes I am!” I started gathering the chips.
“Did you cheat?”
There was some chortling in the crowd at this. I glared at the Loser for such a suggestion (me? Cheat? Never!), as did my fellow card players.
“Cheat!?” Saito scoffed. “Pokiro does not cheat.”
“What a jerk.”
“How could you say such a thing?”
“Just horrible.”
“It's ok!” I raised my hand. “She'll learn, soon enough.”
“Learn what?”
“Your lesson in humiliation!”
“I'm sure I will.”
“No!” I heard the Midget return briefly. “Stop it!”
“You will learn!” I growled. “Because if you don't, I know a lot of people who'd be more than willing to teach it if this doesn't work.”
“Don't you touch her!”
“It's ok, Chibi-Usa-chan.” The Loser's voice had been completely level this entire time, to my surprise, even as the Midget‘s voice completely disappeared down the stairs.. “The proper victor will emerge.”
I felt my stomach turn at this. Wasn't that what I had asked for in my prayer to Sailor Saturn? But it was for me! The moment of surprise passed, however, and my confidence returned. I was positive that the proper victor (me) would emerge. So I took up the cards again.
“If you're so sure that you'll win,” I sneered as I shuffled, “And you're so sure I'm a cheater, why don't you just bet everything you have on your short little stack?”
“I will if you will.”
“....Fine!” I pushed all my chips into the center. “You asked for it!”
The whole crowd cheered for me as I pushed all of my chips in, and the Loser slowly followed suit. I shuffled the cards a little better, then dealt. We both picked up our cards and looked at the same time.
I had nothing.
I hoped my face did not betray this, as I realized that I had shuffled very well. If my hand was bad, then the Loser's was as well. I looked at her face to see what was going with her, but still there was no emotion on her face. I went to the deck and picked up a card.
A 5. I looked at my hand. I already have a five. Ok.
The Loser then picked up the card I discarded, which prompted me to believe that she was going for jacks. I picked up a jack in my next hand, and quickly discarded a useless 9, which she also picked up. I decided what she was going for, and decided to hold onto jacks and 9's if I got them.
Then she threw out the 9, and threw off my scent. This worried me, but I bounced back when I picked up a king, seeing that I had a two kings already. I picked up the 9 and threw out a queen, which she again picked up.
Amateur.
I picked up my next card. Another 5. I was getting close. I threw out the ace almost with a little bit of glee, knowing I just needed one more card. One more card, and I would show her. After all, I'm Pokiro, and no one can beat me at cards. Not at any game, not ever. I have the protection of Sailor Saturn.
Then I saw the 5 I needed in her hands. That was when I knew.
I was invincible.
*BAM*
And just before I could claim my victory, her hand suddenly came down with a jerk. Though the cards made no sound, it felt as if I was shot in the heart, that there was a terrible sound that accompanied what was happening. For from her fingers, four aces and three 2's fell to the ground right in front of me.
“......no......!”
The crowd gasped collectively as the Loser held the last card in her hand. She looked up at me, staring directly into my eyes for the first time as her other hand fell.
“I,” my 5 was thrown into the discard pile with little bearing towards my feelings. “Win.”
My heart froze when I heard those words, when I saw her eyes. It couldn't be! I couldn't lose this duel! I was Pokiro, the master of all card games! I had no equal but Maverick, never to be beaten! This wasn't how it was supposed to happen!
The cards dropped from my hands. The Loser's eyes were so cold, so cold and dark. I couldn't look away. It was if Saturn had come and entered into her body; my god had abandoned me and favored another, and now, having entered my opponent's body, was looking right at me, mocking me. It wasn't right....it couldn't be.....
“.......no..........”
I couldn't move as the Loser stood up. She held all of my chips in her hand.
“I'm no Loser.” Her foot landed softly on my card deck for a moment as she looked down at me, one last time. Her voice was low, as if her message was intended only for me. “I've been playing cards all my life. And my name is Tomoe Hotaru. Remember who you're dealing with next time you pray to your god.”
Her foot lifted off of my deck, and without another word, she left. The crowd was too stunned to push her, or do anything to her, as she left.
She was a demon, and she had beaten me. I couldn't handle it. Then I looked down, the tears flowing to my eyes, as I saw the final sign that my god had truly abandoned me to a terrible, luckless fate. On my card deck was the Loser's dirty footprint.
It was too much.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!”
-
Needless to say, I haven't touched a deck of cards since that terrible, terrible day. It is too damaging to look at anything related to my former hobby. Not only in a psychological or emotional way, either; my mother spanked me, took all my card stuff away, suspended my allowance, and then grounded me for a month from cards once she found out what I had done with the Loser. This was thanks to the Midget, who had gone to the principal immediately after being banished from the roof, which got all of my card friends in trouble as well. It was so humiliating. I might never play cards again. Actually, I bet I will, but only when I get my hands on some cards in three weeks!
But no matter what, I'll find a way. The Loser (I'm not calling her 'Hotaru'! Ever!) may have won the battle, and may have won the favor of Sailor Saturn this time, but if I've learned something, it's that nothing lasts forever, not even luck. And if that's all the Loser has, then my chance to win the war may come yet! Pokiro will rise again!
.....In the meantime, who's up for chess?
FIN
