15: Humbuggers and Freys
I really must wonder why your kind must eat such disgusting food.
Don't take my words terribly - I understand you have....different tastes. Perhaps it was because I had little to work with? Your preferences are so strange. But I digress.
I daresay, however, that this......food was of great importance. To the relationship we had with Tsukinousagi, of course, because many things happened with that small plate of food. But, I also realized how difficult it was to prepare new foods when one does not understand another world's way of perparing things.
This was the recipe:
HUMBUGGER AND FREYS
Ingredients:
-beifpates
-humbuggerbuns
-batelkiship
-bahtelmisterd
-oneuneeyun
-tumadoz
-leeteesleev
-jarpikil
-wezchishirsaws (?)
-tooputatuh
-shediresheesh
-jarmeneees
Round pates until they are round.
Cut putatuhs up.
Cook buns in toosdur.
Broil pates for five minutes. Turn over.
Put oven to 350. Cook for ten-fifteen minutes.
Let cool.
Put on connymins.
Give to Tsukinousagi.
I believe it is due to Dyka's bad writing that the food came out the way it did. In fact, I almost didn't even cook the humbugger. The directions were so confusing, I had to read them several times to figure it out.
And this is how I figured it out. Apparently, I surmised, the pates were to be cooked and cooked and cooked. First broiled, then turned and ovened. I had no clue what ovening was, so I decided to go minute to minute with the situation. Meanwhile, the buns would be put into a toosdur - whatever that was - and served alongside the humbugger. The putatuhs were to be cut up and put on the pates after the pates were done, as was everything else that was on the list.
As I looked at all of the ingredients, I suddenly realized. Of course! I'm making a soup! It suddenly made the directions very easy. Connymins were to be used to make the broth, so I got a bowl to put all of them in there. I looked in the fridge for substitutes for the connymins; we had no batelkiship or anything of that sort. I found all kinds of various foods, which I won't completely comment on, since there were so many things I eventually put in as connymins, but I did put in rococi and some spicy mentilsun - native spices to Mehsheh - to flavor it.
Making the saucy broth was easy enough, for it simply required some heating. And the putatuhs I did not have to cook at all, just cut them up.
The pates, of course - which I substituted with balls of beast meat - were not so fortunate. I did as the instructions told me, at least as best as I could. I rolled them up, and stuck them in a bowl and also began to cook them. However, after five minutes, and I saw that the heating had had no effect.
-What....!
I huffed. I had to get the heat to work in a better way. So I turned the heat up to its highest setting and put the pates in there for thirty minutes. I was not the best cook, but I figured it would be more than enough time for it to be thoroughly cooked.
-There! I felt proud of myself. -This is going to turn out better than I thought!
So I waited. And as I waited, I picked up the local holopaper and began to read it.
ASTRAMORT THREAT GROWS. the headline read. SEVEN BLOOD THIRSTERS REPORTEDLY SPOTTED ON SHIP TO ASGERD.
I gave a sign and read the paper. They had worn the black cloaks, the story went. They had been spotted by several people, who began to react violently. Before they could get the police involved, however, the Black Cloaks had disappeared, but fortunately, they found a torn black cloth, of an unknown rough texture. They concluded that it was Astramort, a poisoned cloak, and it was immediately sent to a lab for examination and for quarantine- as was everyone on the ship. It was learned, later, that the material had come from a certain galaxy - a certain planet, which, naturally, never heard of the Astramort, I am positive, too, they these people had never heard of us before this story. But I digress.
I was going to read more of the story, but then, a peculiar smell came into my sense. I took it in; whatever it was, it smelled quite bad. It was almost as if something was burning.
-............AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
I jumped up and screamed. The entire room was filled with smoke! I ran into where the pates were cooking, and threw open the door. The next thing I knew, fire, smoke, and meat juice was all flying at me simultaneously.
-AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OW! OWWWWWWWWWWWW! AUUUUUUGH!!!!
-
It took me ten minutes to put out the fire.
By the time I had fully finished stirring the humbugger and frey together, I was in a state of complete annoyance. My appendages were burnt, the food had dripped onto my clothing and my eyes still hurt from the smoke. The pates were black, while some of the ingredients were still cold. And worse, the cooking space was a mess from all of the ingredients.
This is good enough! I shook my head with a growl. Good enough for her. I put a lot into this even though it didn't turn out the best.
With that, I almost stomped up the stairs as I brought the detested Earth food to its even more detested would-be eater. I grumbled to myself as I winced from the burns.
Dyka! This is terrible! Never again! I swore. I don't care who she is! She will appreciate what I went through!
Finally, I approached the door. I paused for a moment, to try and check myself before going inside. I took several deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself.
-.........Hello. I knocked on the door, my voice as level as possible. -Let me in, Tsukinousagi.
There was a long moment of silence. Then, the door slid open. I entered, looking around before seeing her. She was on my bed, holding her midsection, when she saw me. She had not been crying; there was no stain on her face. It was certainly a first for me. I apparently caught her unawares.
-....What do you want. Her voice was low as she turned away. -Leave me alone.
-.....I have something for you.
I looked at her, and instantly regretted taking Dyka's idea. She sat there, looking so small and pitiful. How, how could she have been a soldier! It made no sense! Such a rudeness in her!
-I don't want it.
-Its just for you. My voice barely kept its calm tone. -From Dyka and I.
-I don't care. She turned away.-If you're not here to apologize for what you've done to me, you should go away.
-Why should....I apologize? I growled. -I have nothing to apologize for.
-I beg to differ.
-I have food for you. Her sudden shift of attitude was getting to me. -Look! I made you food from your world. Humbuggers and freys. Not that you deserve it.
I put the food tray on the bed. Immediately, she stood up and walked away from me.
-I told you. I'm not hungry.
-You're going to eat this. My annoyance was quickly tipping towards anger. -I spent a long time making this. Or are you waiting for Brutus to spoil you? Don't think I know he doesn't take you to his little shack to feed you.
She turned back to me, her mouth open indignantly. She was shocked, as if she had not expected me to know that.
-That's none of your business.
-Hmph! I decided to rub what I knew in. -Look at you, growing fat off of his food! What did you do to make him do your bidding?
-You...... Tsukinousagi's lip quivered angrily at this. -You wouldn't ever understand. He treats me better than you.
-Oh? Are you in love with him? I started growling. -Well, it figures. You liking him. He probably goes for small people like you, too. One that travels around.
-How dare you. I didn't notice the change in her voice. If I had, I would have stopped when I was ahead. -You don't know anything. He's a good person, more than what I can say about you.
-Hmph. I was angered at her superior attitude concerning the grunt as it was, and did not care to check my anger. -I'm the one defending you. Me! Me and Dyka. You'll show some mindless guard more respect than you will the people saving you! But I swear, you'll eat that food! When I come back, it had better all be gone! You'll appreciate what I've done for you!
I was talking to her as I had normally would have; it was not the first time I had confronted her. But I suppose I had kindled something, or re-awakened something in her, because she simply looked me at my face with such an expression I had never seen before. It was an expression of defiance. Though she was nothing more to me than a barbarian, for a moment, I inexplicably became frightened.
-I..... she spoke in the calmest, most definitive tone I had ever heard from her as she looked me in the eye. -I would rather be dead.
The moment she said that, the fright left, and I felt my rage well up in me. I had been angry at her before, but this time, I had no control at all. The nerve! The.....nerve! With a scream, I picked up my cooking, still hot and steaming, and flung the entire tray right into her face. Water, heat, meat, everything right into her face.
-YOU RAT!! As she screamed, I brought her up and wrapped my appendages around her neck. -FILTH!!!! WEAK BARBARIAN!!!! YOU WILL EAT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I started to shake her violently, watching almost with secret glee as she fought to breathe. I didn't care what Dyka said. I didn't. All my desire was at that moment was to show Tsukinousagi who she was to respect, because if she hadn't been caught, she would have been nothing more than nameless, faceless barbarian, whom no one cared for, because no one cared about her. She was nothing. She had nothing. And I could have killed her at that moment to show her who had the power.
Then, it happened. What I never thought would have happened, it started right there.
She fought back.
-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!
Though she had no arms to get to me, though she had been thrashing, I was suddenly thrown off by such a strength that when I hit the wall I went through into the next room over. I screamed as pain rippled through by entire body; I did not expect it. How could I have? But it brought me to more anger, and I started screaming louder.
-I......WILL....KI-AAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!
Suddenly, a new kind of pain ran through me, but this one was different. My chest suddenly tightened, and my insides began to spasm and stiffen. I tried to get up, but each time I moved too much, it was as if some new force had taken over my body, and was forcing me back to the wall.
-What...... I struggled. -.......is..........this?!?!?
I screamed for air, and as I screamed, I looked down at Tsukinousagi. Never before, not even in my wildlest dreams, did I think to see something such as what was before me.
-Themis.
I looked up, hearing the quiet, frightened voice suddenly deepen into the softest, yet most resonating tone I had ever heard. I looked up at her, and suddenly became more frightened than I had ever been before in my entire life. For before me was something I had never seen before, something so shocking that I gave a cry at the very sight of it.
Tsukinousagi stood before me, her wheat-like hair flying wildly around her, yet the color was becoming a strange color I had never seen before. Indeed, right in front of me, as I gasped for air, the very presence of the quaking, tiny girl was changing into something that I could only describe as being both awesome and terrible at the same time. Her face was slowly wiped of her scars and signs of pain and sadness were replaced by a determined, almost fierce look. Around her, the whitest wings suddenly unfurled, with countless feathers, almost as countless as stars in the sky. They spread out, covering the room, and feathers were all around me.
But what scared me was the light. Her body, starting with a pounding light from her chest, was turning completely white, save for her clothing, which had almost seemed to melt away into wisps of many faint colors which came down to her bare feet. She almost seemed to be turning into a hot, bright light, and it was almost as if the force of her presence was creating a blast of wind that would have kept me pinned if my own body was not suddenly revolting against my mind.
-Why? She looked straight into my eyes, and as she did, a single, bright yellow spot began to shine upon her head. -We are soldiers. We are all lonely. This is the wrong way.
Then, she began to walk towards me, and the pain instantly increased. I gave another scream, for I realized that the light was causing my body to convulse badly. The more I struggled, or the closer she got, the worse it became, and my own insides felt like the heat would rip them apart. But the most horrifying thing for me was her eyes, when they stared into me. They almost sparked like stars, filled not with hate, but with sadness and other things I didn't understand, and when I saw them, I became even more scared.
What.....have......I.....done?
I began to panic. Never, never in my wildest dreams, could I have dreamt such a thing. But her presence was so powerful, I couldn't stand it.
-Let..................
One of my appendages, for one moment, became free. I managed to catch something in my hands through the winds. It felt sharp, very sharp.
-................me...................
I glared at her as she came towards me. I hated her. In that moment, I hated Tsukinousagi - this thing - more than I had ever hated anyone in my life, more than I ever thought I could hate. Yet in that moment, I did.
-....GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
She came in close enough for my appendage to reach. Mustering up all of my strength, I swung.
-DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
I don't remember exactly what I had gotten her with. A shard of something, a plank. I don't know. I don't remember. I don't really care to remember.
All I remember was that I had swung hard, and it went into her skin very easily. I had hit her somewhere on her neck, what your kind calls it. And I knew when I had hit my mark, for instantly, her blood began to pour down my appendages.
And then, suddenly, everything stopped. The light disappeared, and all that was left was Tsukinousagi, the wings, which suddenly fell apart and deposited feathers everywhere, the destroyed room, and my appendage still wrapped around the object I had stabbed her with.
-UAAAAAH!!
I lifted myself up, took in welcome breaths, and looked again into her eyes. They were their normal color, and they were wide, still looking right at me.
-The....... Blood began to come out of her mouth. -............mis............
And then she fell to the ground, motionless, her eyes still wide open. The blood began to pour out onto the carpet. With that, I left go of my weapon, and looked down upon her.
I was glad. I was happy, and satisfied I had killed her. She deserved it, I convinced myself. She had attacked me, after all. I almost laughed at her still body on the floor.
My laughter was almost immediately replaced with more of my screams. For my inside, which had been flush with victory before, suddenly felt empty, and I looked at Tuskinousagi and realized.
I.....killed her.
Instead of seeing the hated Tsukinousagi on the floor, I saw something totally different. My eyes saw - and would almost forevermore see - a sailor soldier, wearing the garb of a true sailor soldier ready for battle, a small pair of wings on her back. And on her head, a strange yellow sign.
Suddenly, Tsukinousagi was not a weak barbarian. She was not a scrawny fool. She was a sailor soldier.
And I had killed her.
I stared at her for a moment, unable to believe why, why I suddenly saw her that way. Then, I held myself and started to cry. The feeling, that horrible feeling I had when Jyanda died was suddenly within me, returned, and it was so pronounced and horrible that it brought me down to my knees.
-N.......no!!!!!!! I cried. -No. Wake up.......wake up!!!!!!
It was pointless to scream. It was pointless to try. I had killed another sailor soldier. I cursed myself, cursed my existence, for such a thing was so terrible to do, no one could comprehend why I had done it. I did not know why I had done it. And I could not imagine what else could happen to make it worse.
-Themis....! I saw a light......!
Then Dyka came into the doorway.
