La Lumière d'Amour by Kihin Ranno

Part One: Le Voyage

Minako buckled herself into the uncomfortable seat, attempting to find a somewhat comfortable position despite the overall lack of legroom. As directed by the various and sundry flight attendants as well as the dog-eared paper brochure she had glanced at just for kicks, she pulled the fraying grey strap taught, cutting down on the slack. She pursed her lips slightly, though the change was too subtle for anyone around her to notice. She had pulled the tough fabric nearly to its limit before she felt secure.

She realized, not for the first time, that she had grown too thin as of late.

She laughed lightly to herself, faintly shaking her head. It was good that she was getting away. Of course, she hadn't thought so initially. In fact, she had been quite certain that both cats had either completely lost their minds or they were actually demon kitties from another dimension. It had taken a great amount of convincing for her to abandon the latter notion. It was quite lucky that Luna had managed to alleviate her irrational fears before she finished smothering Artemis with her pillow.

But really, could they blame her? It was only natural for her to be suspicious. A clever enemy would have attempted to split the Sailor Senshi up at their core just when they had grown complacent. And of course, it would be best for them to go right for the weakest link - the doubting Thomas in the group. They would prey on Minako's insecurities of her future and her desperate need to find... something. They would remove her from the rag tag band by any means necessary. With one of their strongest fighter gone, Sailor Moon and her Senshi would quickly be annihilated and the world would be open for domination.

That should have tipped her off immediately. No enemy was that clever.

Minako smiled to herself, thinking back on that previous week. Yes, the five of them really were a rag tag bunch of misfits. They were made that much stranger by Mamoru's continued presence as he and Usagi were joined at the hip whenever they weren't at work. And in spite of all their oddities and differences, they were always there for each other, bound together by some invisible bond that resulted from the fact that they had all literally been to hell and back again. They were meant to be together. And they were meant to help each other no matter what the cost.

It was for this very reason that she was sitting on an airplane at that precise moment. It seemed as though Minako had grown careless in constructing the walls around her true nature, allowing some of the shadows to slip through the cracks. Usagi and the others had been wondering if anything had been wrong with Minako for some time. When Luna had arrived home, slightly dismayed as the aspiring actress had turned her and Artemis down flat, Usagi had confronted her guardian about her suspicions immediately.

It was a strange twist of fate that Minako had been furious about at first, but now she was grateful for it.

An impromptu Sailor Senshi meeting had been called as a result. Hotaru's surrogate family could not attend of course as they were too busy traveling abroad and just being mysteriously elusive. However, Usagi, Ami, Makoto, Rei, and even Mamoru have been waiting for her when she arrived.

Minako had instantly known what it was about the moment she saw the resolved expressions on Luna's and Artemis's faces. She had nearly turned and left them then, but as always, Usagi's endearingly sweet voice made her rethink her instinct.

She had attempted to insist that they needed her there in Tokyo. After all, what if a new enemy came? She couldn't just selfishly take off and leave them to be trampled without their fearless leader. But they all assured her that she was being ridiculous, saying that no enemy could wipe them out that quickly. The moment things looked bad, if they ever did look bad before the Great Calamity (which was their current name for the tragedy that would bring about Crystal Tokyo) befell them, they would contact her instantly. She would be on the next plane out of... wherever it was she would be.

After nearly an hour of playing verbal ping pong on this subject, her four friends had managed to wear Minako down. She wasn't entirely sure when this had happened or what her reasons had been for doing so. Actually, she suspected that she had just gotten tired of listening to them, but that thought only crossed her mind in the most cynical of moments. No matter what the case was, once that argument was settled, there was really only one thing left to do...

Figure out where she was going.

This proved to be easier said then done. Since Minako had never actually considered leaving Tokyo seriously before then, she didn't have any desire to venture anywhere in particular. Still, the other girls had big dreams just like she did, and their help proved to be vital in making the final decision.

Numerous possibilities had been brought up and quickly discounted for one reason or another. It had quickly been decided that Minako had to get out of the country. Minako had not been a part of reaching this conclusion, but she wasn't really against the idea, so she let it pass.

Rei had initially brought up London, seeing as Minako had already spent some time there. It was for that very reason that the two surface sisters had practically flattened Rei in their haste to erase that from the list of possibilities.

America had been shot down because Usagi had managed to convince herself that anyone who went there wound up subjected to some horrible fate as a result of what had happened to Mamoru. Of course, while she had been blubbering about that, she had been hanging on his arm like she was drowning and making a rather unnecessarily large scene. Minako had finally said she wouldn't even think of going there when she noticed that Mamoru's hand had begun to turn blue.

Then there came a list of other countries that Minako couldn't see herself going to... China was too crowded. Ireland was too wet. Scotland was even wetter. Canada was too useless. Germany was too... German.

Minako had been just on the verge of telling them all to forget it. After all, it was quite nice to think about, but there was no way she was actually going to go through with it anyway. Well, not if they couldn't think of any suitable place for her to go. She had even opened her
mouth, the words poised on her lips, ready to fall out of her mouth and onto the ears of her eternal companions.

"What about Paris?" Mamoru had asked.

That was all it had taken for Minako to shut her mouth.

Every girl in the group glanced over at Mamoru in surprise. Three little words, and the group was struck dumb, astounded by the simplicity of the answer. They had all exchanged glances, waiting for one of them to find fault with the suggestion. After nearly a full minute of blissful quiet, the girls had all leapt to their feet in celebration.

Aino Minako's destination had been found.

The memory faded into the depths of Minako's mind, leaving the traveler staring out the window as if it were a TV screen, replaying all recent events. She smiled softly, lost in nostalgia, wiping away a stray tear from mascara dark lashes. She was always almost painfully aware of just how much her friends cared for her. Nevertheless, it was in moments like that in which it was so clear that they placed their whole hearts into their relationships. It had moved Minako to tears on more than one occasion. Now that she was leaving them, she was surprised more did not spring from her eyes. But then, perhaps she had done enough crying at the going away party their girls had thrown her a few days before.

-----

It wasn't often that Minako could actually recall proverbs or adages correctly, but there were some that were so simple, even her mixed up mind couldn't get it wrong. One of those scarce few was the saying, "You learn something new every day."

As Minako's hip banged into what felt like the eighth piece of furniture, she learned that it was very to difficult to walk when someone was covering your eyes with their hands.

"Oh! Sorry, Minako!" cried the voice that eased wanderlusting girl where others would have spurned her anger.

Which was when Minako learned that Usagi was rarely if ever helpful in these situations.

"Usagi..." Minako whined, affecting a cute pout even though it was essentially useless given that the bunny on a constant sugar high was standing behind her and a heterosexual female. "I'm going to be black and blue if this keeps up! Why can't I just open my eyes?"

Usagi scoffed, probably rolling her eyes as if this should be painfully obvious.

"Because it's a surprise!"

"Usagi, you already told me it's a surprise party," Minako muttered good naturedly. "Remember? The first time I asked you why you were doing this and you said it was because you didn't want me to see the decorations before everyone popped up and yelled surprise?"

"Umm..." Usagi said sheepishly.

Minako grinned, holding back the urge to giggle. "So, doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose of this whole thing?"

The future queen of Earth didn't respond for a few moments.

"But Rei and Mamo-chan and everyone else doesn't know that I accidentally told you about the party," Usagi whispered conspiratorially. "You're the actress. Act like I didn't slip!"

Minako shook her head vigorously, momentarily throwing Usagi off balance. "I'm afraid not. I haven't had nearly enough time to prepare. I couldn't possibly pull off a perfectly executed performance worthy of Aino Minako's standards with mere minutes to get ready. Sorry. No can do."

"Minako!" Usagi whined, sounding eerily like Minako had just minutes before. "You have to! Rei said she wouldn't let me have any of Makoto's Double Fudge Chocolate Chip
Cookie Dough Ice Cream Cake if I couldn't keep a secret!"

Usagi stamped her foot for emphasis, eliciting a giggle from her temporarily blind companion. The latter waved her hand flippantly and said, "Don't worry Usagi, I'll make sure you get a piece."

The smaller girl hugged Minako from behind, keeping one hand over her eyes. "Thank you Minako! You're my only real friend!"

"If you let me walk on my own."

There was a long, smoldering pause. However, in the interests of food, Usagi released Minako, hunched over and grumbling irritably in spite of Minako's stellar smile. Usagi didn't even crack a smile when Minako blew her a kiss and flounced up the remainder of the stairs merrily, throwing open the door to Mamoru's apartment with her usual flourish.

"Surprise!" Minako shouted, beating the assembled party-goers to the punch. "Now let me at that cake!"


-----



Minako giggled aloud at the memory, momentarily attracting the attention of the stern businessman she'd
been seated next to. He glared at her, but his type was easy to disarm. One glance at the wedding ring that was on the verge of cutting off his circulation that finger said all that Minako needed to know about the man. She flashed him yet another one of her movie star smiles. He became quite flustered, fumbled about a bit, and eventually buried himself in his newspaper that he had already thoroughly perused at the gate. Judging by the flush in his cheeks and the way he kept glancing at his wedding band indicated that he wouldn't bother her again for the remainder of the flight.

Satisfied that she could continue to reminisce without interruption, Minako continued to think back to that night. An argument had ensued once Usagi had dragged herself into the apartment, but Makoto and Minako managed to calm Rei down enough to climb down off the chair and stop holding the scrumptious cake out of Usagi's reach.

As it turned out, the party had been a lot more elaborate than Minako had originally assumed. The girls had invited all of their friends including Motoki, Yuuichirou, Naru, Umino, and even Asai whom Minako hadn't seen in years. A
little digging revealed that he was single, but she wasn't about to pursue any kind of relationship when she was leaving in all of three days.

But she refused to let the boy leave until she had procured his phone number. What kind of love goddess would she had been otherwise?

The party had been a clear success, filled with a lot of laughter, dancing, karaoke (in which Minako obviously received a standing ovation), eating, and everything else that one could expect to see at such an event. The highlight of the night had been when everyone had gotten up to say what their favorite memory of Minako was.

A lot of jokes had been made at her expense, particularly when Mamoru read a list he had compiled of his favorite mixed up phrases. Makoto recounted just about every embarrassing moment in Minako's boy chasing history, while Rei chose to recount all of her relatively amusing klutz attacks. Motoki talked about the arcade, Yuuchirou talked about all of Minako's failed attempts to get he
and Rei together, and Asai talked about her spinning dig... and Ami talked about how she was smarter than people told her and how proud she was of Minako. And Usagi talked about how she still looked up to her after all these years. And just about all of them said the same thing in one way or another.

"I don't know if I'll like how it's going to be without you here."

All of the available Kleenex had been broken into immediately. The party had quickly degenerated into a sobbing extravaganza, filled with hugs that left her breathless and fragile promises to call every day. She'd even had to assure Usagi on several occasions that she would come back.

Minako smiled wistfully as the airplane began to taxi to get to the runway. She ignored the flight attendants giving instructions on what to do in case of emergency. Seeing as she'd helped save the world on numerous occasions, she didn't think a plane crash would be all that difficult in the long run.

She was going to miss all of them terribly. And she knew she probably wouldn't call them every day as promised. Not because she was busy... but because it might be too painful to listen to Usagi trying not to cry over the telephone line.

Her smile suddenly changed to a frown, her unmanicured nails digging into her palm. She had promised herself that she wouldn't think about the bad things that had happened to her recently, but such vows were easily broken. There were, after all, some people she wouldn't miss at all.


-----


Minako sprawled out on the dirty floor of her apartment, attempting to find a comfortable position as stiff carpet fibers dug into her bare arms. Doing this at a table would have been much more efficient and less uncomfortable, but she didn't have that option as she didn't own a table. She'd always thought that it was a largely unnecessary item, but she was beginning to rethink that.

The blonde rolled over onto her back, flinching as a discarded pencil dug into the small of her back. She arched her back to get at it and then stuck it behind her ear in annoyance as she surveyed her options. The reality of what she was doing was sinking in more and more as she surveyed the prices of the flights. Thus far, it didn't look good. The cheapest she could find was 209,822 yen. She had known that the trip was bound to be expensive, but she had been hoping to find something that didn't hurt her wallet so much.

Not to mention, all of Ami's advice had done nothing but mess with her head. She had met with Ami at a cafe for lunch. She had taken the liberty of looking for reasonably priced flights over the internet for Minako. It was something Minako greatly appreciated since she hadn't owned a computer since she moved out. However, she would have been perfectly fine if Ami had just told her what the cheapest flight was. That was initially her main concern.

But no, Ami had also given her a complete breakdown on the various airlines' safety ratings, lawsuit history, flight times, and a prediction of the jet stream. All of it had made Minako's head hurt, but now she couldn't get the girl's words out of her head. It gave the blonde a headache no amount of Advil could get rid of.

Minako knew that Ami was hardly at fault in the situation. After all, she and the others were still under the impression that Minako was living with her parents. They were also under the impression that while the Ainos had their difficulties, underneath it all, they were basically a group of loving individuals. Her parents would be happy to pay for Minako's excursion to find herself.

She scoffed at the very notion and folded a nearby slip of paper into a paper airplane. She hurled it at her microwave, feeling some satisfaction when the nose crumbled upon impact and crashed to the ground.

The fact of the matter was, in Minako's opinion, the matriarch of the Aino family was a self-serving, temperamental, unlikable harpy who could think of nothing better to do than continually remind her daughter that she was a hopeless failure. Aino Kaida was not a kind woman. Minako could think of no happy memories involving her, not even from childhood. The woman with bottle red hair and grey roots had a perpetual scowl on her face and stone where her heart should have been. She claimed it was all for the good of her daughter's welfare, but Minako had stopped listening to that line almost a decade ago.

Her father wasn't much better. When she was younger and he hadn't been as busy, he had been the ideal dad. But as time went on, he grew reserved, silent, and cold. Never once had he come to Minako's defense, although the look on his face seemed to suggest that he was sympathetic to his daughter's cause. Still, he was too busy or too afraid of his own wife to fight for her. His apathy burned Minako far more than her mother's cruel intentions ever would.

But her friends didn't know much about the situation. Minako would casually mention her extreme dislike for her mother, but it was attributed to the usual discord that existed between mothers and their teenage daughters. She never mentioned her father, treating him with the indifference he deserved after his years of silence.

Artemis sometimes wondered aloud if she had been too hard on them, but Minako never allowed such conversations to get very far. It was thanks to Aino Kaida that Minako had a tendency to be so strange. She even maintained that the older woman would land her in therapy yet. It was really no surprise that Minako had stopped answering her phone calls and was putting off telling her parents about her trip for as long as humanly possible.

As if on cue, the phone rang.

Minako reached over for the cell phone, resisting the temptation to throw it against the wall when she saw the display name. Of course, it was her mother.

She debated whether or not to actually answer the phone call, but seeing as she would be leaving in a few days, she figured that she may as well. Minako flipped open the phone, not even bothering to say hello. As expected, the lecture began immediately.

"Aino Minako!" Kaida screeched over the other end. "Where have you been? Your father and I were worried to death when you stopped answering the phone. We were positively beside ourselves! I almost called the police to find you
until I ran into one of your friends today. Aki was it?"

"Ami," Minako corrected. No matter how many times she told her mother what her friends' names were, Kaida never remembered. Still, that was her best guess yet. "Her name is Mizuno Ami."

"Right," Kaida said, paying her little attention. "Lovely girl by the way. Very polite. She should learn to look people in the eye when she talks and not stammer so much."

Minako's grip on the cell phone tightened. "She's shy, mother," Minako ground out through clenched teeth. "And what do you think gives you the right to judge?"

"Well, we're all shy," Kaida continued, oblivious to the fact that her daughter had been attempted to stand up for her friend's character. "She should get over it. Anyway, she assured me that she'd just had lunch with you."

"And I assure you that I'm alive," Minako grumbled, preparing to hang up the phone. She just wouldn't tell her mother that she was leaving. What business was it of
hers anyway? "Now if you're through ranting and raving, I'll be--"

"She also told me something else quite interesting," Kaida said in the tone of voice Minako had grown to fear in her youth and despise as time went on.

Minako flinched, realizing what must have happened. Poor Ami had no idea that Kaida and her daughter weren't on speaking terms. She would have mentioned the trip without realizing the potential damage it would cause. Kaida may have even vented her anger at Ami once she found out about what Minako was doing behind her back. Minako could only hope that Kaida had kept a civil tongue in public as appearances were so important to her.

Minako finally broke the tense silence that had grown between them. "What did she tell you?"

"That you're going to PARIS!" Kaida shouted, causing Minako to hold the phone away from her now throbbing ear.
"Aino Minako, what gives you the right to plan a trip out of the country without telling me? Were you just going to leave without even bothering to mention it? Where are you getting the money for this? You aren't doing anything shameful are you? I know that none of you auditions have gotten you any jobs. And why are you going? You don't know anyone in Paris! Just because you did reasonably well in the French classes you took in High School--"

"I got an 'A,' mother," Minako finally interrupted, her voice icy as she held back the screams that threatened to spill over. "My teacher said that I'm considered fluent in French. And I took that class because I passed the English Efficiency Exam with flying colors. I want to get out of Tokyo, so where else would I go?"

Kaida sighed, exasperated. "That isn't the point. Why are you leaving at all? It doesn't make sense. You're perfectly happy here."

"What do you know about how happy I am?" Minako snapped, her voice cracking without her consent. She swallowed in an attempt to get it back under her control, although she knew it was useless to fight. "You have made it your mission in life to make me miserable. You don't care about my happiness."

There was a long, stunned pause on the other line. Finally, Kaida spoke again, her voice very small. "Minako..."

"And another thing," Minako continued, silently cursing the way her eyes burned no matter how much she fought against it. "I'm leaving Tokyo because I want to get away. I want to get away from you, Mama."

Kaida sputtered over the other end of the line, trying to say something. Minako wouldn't let her get a word in edgewise, rushing through a monologue she had prepared days earlier. She was trying hard not to cry and failing. She was glad her mother wasn't there to see it.

"All I've ever heard from you are lectures on how I'm going to be useless like Daddy. You've told me that I'm clumsy and flighty and dimwitted and frivolous and superficial and... and I don't even want to think about what else.

"But I know that all of that isn't true. I'm a good girl, Mama. I have friends who care about me. I'm talented. I'm driven. I have a pure heart that wants to help people and a beautiful dream to be an actress.

"But every time I go to an audition, I hear your voice in my head. You telling me that I'm foolish. You telling me that I'll never be the famous idol that I want to be.

"You've never said, 'I love you just the way you are,' or 'I'm proud of who you're becoming.' You've never said one good thing about me. Not ever. Not even when I was a little girl.

"And maybe you are right about some things. I don't know where I'm going. I'm still not sure where this life is taking me. I don't even really know why I'm going to Paris or anywhere at all.

"But I don't really give a damn because you won't be where I'm going."

Minako hung up the phone, paying no attention to Kaida almost begging her not to do so. She sat on the floor for
awhile, trembling with the effort it was taking her not to cry. Then she grabbed the piece of paper with the cheapest flight information, dialed the telephone number Ami had given her, and vowed never to speak to her mother again.


-----



"Attention passengers. Flight 901 on Korean Air is now departing Tokyo, Japan. We ask that you please make sure that your seatbelts are securely fastened and that your tray tables are secure in front of you. Please turn off all cell phones, computers, games, personal CD players, or other electronic devices. We will let you know when it is acceptable to use any one of these items. Please keep your cell phones off for the duration of the flight. If you wish to place a call, please use the telephones located in the seat in front of you.

"We will be landing in Seoul, Korea at Gimpo in approximately two hours and twenty minutes. There we ask hat all passengers bound for Paris, France please remain on board the aircraft or you will risk giving up your seat. We will then depart for Charles de Gaulle Airport. We expect to arrive there in approximately seventeen hours
from now. Thank you for your patience and please enjoy your flight."

Minako watched out of the corner of her eye as her flight companion grumbled irritably as he turned off his cell phone and began to put away his computer. She almost wished she hadn't completely alienated the man.

After all, she could use the company.

-----

Minako struggled to get her suitcase closed, discovering that not even sitting on top of it would do the trick. The added weight of her cat finally managed to get the stupid thing to snap shut, but the fact that it had made Minako break out in a sweat annoyed her considerably.

"I was beginning to think that the stupid thing was actually a youma," Minako joked flopping down on her futon dramatically. "It's certainly ugly enough," she added, regarding the thick puce fabric covered in duct tape to hold it together.

Artemis snorted, flipping his tail back and forth. "Minako, lately you've been thinking everything is a master plan of some new enemy. Face it. You're going
to Paris. You're not going to get out of it."

Minako smiled at her fuzzy companion, scratching him ently behind the ears. "You're too young to be ornery."

Artemis butted his head up against her palm before walking away, saying, "I've never told you how old I am. You can't make that kind of assumption."

She shrugged. "I've always been good at guessing people's ages."

"You have not."

"Let's pretend then."

Artemis chuckled as he padded over to her purple bean bag chair. He was about to leap up onto it when he saw a little cloth tail sticking out from underneath it. He gasped in surprise and yanked a little toy mouse out, turning to her with a scandalized expression. He somehow managed to speak to her with the mouse caught in his teeth, his green eyes wide. "Minako, you almost forgot my
favorite mousey."

Minako flinched. She'd put this off to the eleventh hour as usual. But she hadn't known how to break it to him. Not that she knew any better now.

"And come to think of it," Artemis said softly as he spit out his cherished toy. "I didn't see any food or catnip or anything in your suitcase. And you haven't gotten out the Pet Escort or anything. Did you think they'd just let me sleep on your lap the whole time?" He laughed, still painfully ignorant of why all of this was happening.

"About that...." Minako whispered as she forced herself to sit up. She didn't make eye contact with her guardian, confidante, mentor, partner, best friend, and surrogate father.

Artemis chided her gently, winking at her as if to mock her. "What? Were you just going to leave me here?"

Minako bit her lip.

That was all the answer he needed.

Artemis's face fell, his whiskers drooping so that they dragged on the ground. He stared at her in disbelief, jaw agape. Finally, after several moments of what the most painful silence Minako had ever been forced to endure, he spoke. The sound of his voice broke her heart all over again.

"You're... leaving me?"

Minako sighed, forcing herself to look at him. She could see the tears welling up in his eyes. She almost thought he was being melodramatic, but she understood. The two hadn't been apart for more than a few hours since she was thirteen. This prolonged separation that she hadn't even told him about in advance was bound to scar him deeply.

"Artemis," Minako said gently, reaching out and petting him gently. He didn't spurn her touch. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before... but I never said you were going."

He shook his head slightly. "No, you didn't. I just assumed I would. I mean... we do everything together, Minako."

She offered him a watery smile and whispered, "That's why I have to go alone, Artemis. I have to finish this mission on my own. I can't have you trying to guide me. I need to figure out where I'm going by myself. That's why I have to leave. And that's why... you can't come with me."

He nodded, although he didn't look as though he wanted things to be the way they were. She knew that Artemis wanted to be by her side through it all. That was just the way they did things. But this time, the way they did things just wasn't good enough. "I understand," he whispered sadly.

"You know," Artemis continued, turning from her and looking out the one window that they had a decent view of the moon. "Luna warned me this might happen a few years ago. She told me that I should prepare for the day when you told me that I couldn't come with you. But I... I never thought that day would ever come. And I didn't think it would be this soon."

Minako swallowed. "Artemis...."

He turned to her, the fur under his eyes darker than it was before. "I know this is something you don't want me around for. But... is it wrong for me to want to be there?"

Unable to hold back her own tide of emotion, Minako had
reached for her guardian cat and held him. She didn't let go until the taxi she had called arrived to take her to the airport.


-----


They lifted off the ground. And for the first time, it finally hit her. She was really leaving.

Minako looked out her window at the airport that was quickly growing smaller and smaller in the distance. She knew it wasn't possible, but she could almost make out the silhouettes of her friends. Usagi's crazy hairstyle. Makoto's imposing height. Rei's self-assured posture. Ami's demure stance. Mamoru's strong hand on his girlfriend's shoulder. And two little cats, one running after her plane in a desperate, foolish attempt to catch up.

"Goodbye, everyone," Minako whispered, waving slightly even though she knew they couldn't see her. "I'll come back to you."

She glanced at what was left of her ticket. She hadn't even put it in her purse when she boarded the plane. The flight information glaring back at her was far too ominous to ignore. She hadn't told anyone the specifics of her flight information, never allowing anyone else to glance at it. She knew that she should have told them and broken the vicious cycle. But how could she explain this to any of them? Especially Usagi, who seemed so convinced that she might never see Minako again?

She couldn't have told them that her ticket was marked one way.

"Someday."

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