As he passed through the front doors, the king nodded to the guards standing at attention there. He jogged down the steps, breathing deeply, drawing the fresh, clean air into every part of his body. The senior guard bent from the waist, motioning to her new partner to join her in the bow. They straightened as the king made his way down the path.
"You haven't officially met him yet, or the queen, but you're gonna like them," the senior guard said. "They're really nice people, and so in love...." She sighed contentedly. "Someday I'm gonna find someone like that."
Her rookie partner, not interested in gossip, scratched his head absently. "Is he supposed'ta just wander off like that? Seems dangerous."
"Oh, sure. He does this every morning. Don't worry; you'll get used to things here soon."
~~~
Love lying, enticing, crowning the moment
This is what I am, bare grace for the end of days
~~~
Mamoru walked down the fountain corridor behind the gardens, toward the main gates that led into the city itself. A small wind picked up briefly, just long enough to spatter his clothes with tiny droplets that sprayed from the fountain. He barely noticed the water falling against his skin, though, as lost in thought as he was.
It wasn't that he begrudged her their loyalty. If there was one thing she deserved, after everything she'd done for the world, time and time again, it was the love of her friends. They had been through so much together, faced death and worse for the sake of each other and the safety of the Earth....
But that was it, wasn't it? Mamoru couldn't help the small bit of resentment that simmered deep below his surface. As many times as the senshi had fought for their queen, so had he. As many times as they'd faced death, struggling for that last bit of strength to give Sailor Moon, so had he. And as much as they loved Usagi for being the center of their universe, the core of their friendship, their very reason for existence now....
So did he.
Mamoru unconsciously picked up the pace, circling in front of the gates to follow the extensive perimeter of the palace wall. He knew there was only so much of her to go around. He tried not to be selfish. The senshi needed her, too.... They had flung themselves completely into their new identities, to the point that now they were almost never seen out of uniform. Serenity - Neo-Queen Serenity - was the reason and the heart of their transformation. Usagi, too, had embraced her role as savior and sovereign with barely a qualm; only that one last tearful night on Mamoru's shoulder as she finally said goodbye to her childhood freedom. The next morning, he had awakened to find her dry-eyed and somehow looking more regal than she ever had before, even in his scant memories of the Moon Princess.
He missed his Usagi with a pain that surpassed anything he'd ever felt before. The polished silver goddess who shared his bed now couldn't compare with the bubble-headed, vivacious girl he'd fallen in love with... even if she was the same person. She'd recreated herself with a vengeance, throwing herself into her studies of administration and politics whole-heartedly, as if she were glad to eradicate the child she'd been.
As Mamoru circled the last corner and headed back to the front doors of the palace, he was shaken out of his thoughts by the appearance of Neo-Queen Serenity waiting for him on the steps. The sight of her hit him like a shock, no matter how he thought he might get used to it. He dutifully assumed a welcoming smile, knowing that his daily allotment of freedom was ended; he took the steps two at a time to reach her side and gently kissed her cheek.
"How was your morning, love?" she asked, returning his kiss. "Are you prepared for our lunch with the Europeans?"
"Of course," Mamoru answered, entering back into the golden cage of protocol with an ease that always frightened him. "Give me a few minutes, my queen, and I'll be there to escort you." He turned to go inside, but paused when Serenity failed to follow. "Aren't you coming?"
"I will... but I'd like to enjoy this breeze for just a moment. You go ahead, Endymion. I'll meet you inside."
He nodded, continuing through the doors and into the palace itself. Endymion... that was how she thought of him now. That was who she needed him to be.
And for the memory of his Usako, knowing that it was a choice he would make every day for the next thousand years, he would be Endymion. Because it was what she wanted, and his love for her had him bound more closely than the walls of the palace ever could.
Usagi stood on the steps of the palace, her eyes closed, enjoying the gentle flow of air across her face. With all the luxuries and privileges of the palace available to her, why did she so rarely get to wander outside? At times she almost envied Endymion his morning walks, the freedom he enjoyed to taste fresh air and hear birdsong while she was trapped in meetings and hearings.... Even the constant presence of the senshi, her dearest friends, was not quite enough to make up for the liberty she’d lost when they first entered the palace. She hadn’t realized, then, how the crown that was her destiny would create a distance between herself and those she had been closest to. They had all changed.
She never could have been able to endure as long as she had if not for the thought of Endymion. It was he who'd adapted so readily to palace life, while she struggled to understand her new responsibilities; it was he who was polished and refined, grasping concepts and protocols long before Usagi was able. Sometimes she wondered if Mamoru had spent his whole life just waiting to reassume his previous royalty, he'd fallen into it so readily. The contrast between the man she’d first met and the man become was stark; it was hard for Usagi to imagine Endymion throwing wads of paper at her head or spending all his pocket change to win her a stuffed prize. It was enough to make her worry whether he’d just been biding his time until they moved into the palace and he could assume the responsibilities of their heritage…. There was almost no trace of her Mamo-chan left in the King.
It was the memory of the night she made her decision, what she thought of as her last night on earth, that she clung to when her doubts grew too much to bear. When the weight of her impending responsibility hit her, the full realization of what awaited, she'd run to Mamoru's apartment, falling into his arms in a burst of tears. She'd sobbed herself out to him all that night; the whole time he simply held her firmly, calmly, showing her with gentle words that it was the best way. The only way. The Earth depended on her power.
If he was so sure, so confident and ready, how could Usagi have been anything else? The next morning she woke determined not to display her apprehension any longer, not to cave under her own doubts when so many needed her to be strong. The memory of the approval in Mamoru's face was all she needed to keep her going. More than anything else, she wanted him to be proud of her. To be happy. If she was the figurehead, the one everyone looked to for guidance and protection, he was her hidden strength and support, and she would rather die than lose him. Giving up her old childishness was a small forfeit to pay.
But still.... There was a little core of resistance within her, a buried resentment that knew she could never wholly embrace her role as a ruler; not like Endymion had done. Usagi loved him too much to tell him that the life he'd chosen was stifling her, though. If this was what he truly wanted, she would do anything to give it to him.
It hurt, knowing that she would face the same decision every single day for the rest of her life. For Endymion's sake, though, she would do anything; even become a new person, drowning herself in the Queen. He deserved nothing less.
With one last glance at the world beyond the palace walls, Serenity turned slowly and stepped back inside.
