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Review by Loki |
2009-03-19
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This was a most compelling read, and I am glad to know it is cintinuing on, arcs in epics are good value as these tend to reflect how characters evolve and their lives, challenges and all that.
I remember the Yu-gi-oh series and enjoyed it, the English dub and its arcs, though I suspect the GX series also that sprang from it has a lot of potential for fanfiction innovation. I forgot how addictive those duels are. :)
I think your world building is great, and your descriptions of the battles themselves excellent and the characters were amazing and I guess I think the story if I were to say how it could be improved as it is already fantastic, is I think more character driven and subplots particularly in the early stages would be interesting, side stories fleshed out and more interaction between the characters, although as this is an on-going epic, the development of relationships to temper the other amazing layers wouldn't go astray. But in all, aside from the usual things to polish tenses with 'spit' for 'spat, and some repeat wording/phrasing 'bit' is over used and some phrases 'biting the lip' repeated often, but those aesthetic things could be cleared up with a BETA just going over it when its done.
But honestly, for sheer power, vision, action, characterisation, drama and suspense, you had it all for us here and I can only say I want more! LOL
An excellent story and one worth more reads and reviews as it deserves it! Thank you for making these characters come to live and warm and lliving beings, and also so dark and dark, great job! *bows and hands you duel deck*
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