Review by Araya |
2008-09-01
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You have a really great start here. Though, try to show more instead of telling so much. I feel like you tell us this happened, then this happened, etc. Try to work in some more description to draw your reader in.
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Author's response:
You see greater chapters/episodes of this series! I am currently writing episodes 22 and episode 33 which is entitled: "Usagi's Tears! The Mamoirozuishou Appears!"
This is a series that brings back memories and it's fun to
do new plot lines and see what the Ice Titan is up to in his
second fanfiction series! Thanks for reviewing! I love it a lot.
Thanks to Loki for editing!
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