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Review by Starsea |
2006-06-27
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This is an adorable story. You really get a sense of Mayu's frustration with Hatori: although she appreciates his chivalry, she's ready to move on. All her emotions are well described and the story builds up perfectly to the desired kiss. I especially liked the sentence where Mayu feels that the kiss is somehow more intimate than making love. It shows that she understands Hatori.
My only quibble is the paragraph in parentheses concerning Shigure. I enjoyed it, but it was random and seemed to come from a different story entirely. However, it shows that Mayu has a sense of humour, so I understand why you kept it in.
Please write more FB fanfic soon!
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